Doms living blocks away from slave.

[ttvttp]

Ok I just love being alone but I would also like to have a slave. So im wondering anyone ever heard of doms living in separate houses from their doms? And if so how did it work. And I mean at most a few block not in another city or state?

 

[VelvetDarkness]

If you want just a part-time play partner I'd be upfront with that. I think that wanting a relationship and life as a bachelor simultaneously reads as selfish and immature given that this forum is anonymous and we can only go on what you write.

What do you mean by a 'slave' exactly? To play with someone sexually isn't generally considered slavery in the BDSM community. The term usually denotes a deeper level of committment and a relationship that is D/s 24/7. Few who consider themselves slaves would want to submit to a man who wants them to live in the next street because they would get less than they need for the price of their submission.

Perhaps you could elaborate on what you're looking for. There's always the BDSM personals section as well but think carefully about what you can offer another as well as what you want yourself.

 

[myinnerslut]

A and i are in a D/s relationship and are LDR during the year. even when we are home we are still ten minutes apart. but, you must take into consideration that we are both in college still.

the way i see it having someone live with you is a huge show of commitment, bdsm relationship or not, and in the begining stages of any relationship it is ok for you to live in seperate houses.

 

[catalina_francisco]

If you want just a part-time play partner I'd be upfront with that. I think that wanting a relationship and life as a bachelor simultaneously reads as selfish and immature given that this forum is anonymous and we can only go on what you write.

My thinking, being very much a loner myself is, saying you love living alone does not necesarily equate to wanting to live as a bachelor in terms of relationships. I think it is a concept many find difficult to understand if they are not loner's themselves, but it actually is very possible to be faithful and monogamous to one person for years, if not forever, and yet live alone. If the OP is like me in their love of living alone, they find they crave that space where they are able to be alone, at least part of the time...and when it is part of the time, you find yourself counting down the minutes/days/weeks to when you will be able to have some 'alone' time again, even though you might love your partner with every fibre of your being. It isn't selfish or immature, in fact quite the opposite in that not only do you not want to inflict that part of yourself on another, but not many people can cope living alone....hence most people are in relationships, or sharing their abode with someone.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

As far as the question goes, I'm not sure it would work well in separate dwellings, though I guess it is not impossible if you have the imagination and dedication to make it work. Perhaps it is more logical to have a submissive. Then again, it also always depends on what 'slave' means for you in terms of a person's role in your life.

Catalina

 

[missy_me]

As was already said, slavery is a lot more serious thing than submission. But the terms are often mixed up, especially by the people who are not so familiar with the lifestyle. I'm not sure the OP really meant slave, because that would seem a little bit odd to me.

When J and I first met, we were living in different cities. After a month I moved to live in the same city with J, but we still both had places of our own. This phase didn't last for too long thou - after 2 months of living in the same city we moved in together.

I was satisfied with our relationship also when we weren't living together. I felt I was owned - he might call me and give me 30 minutes to come to his place, he had a key to my apartment and might show up unannounced, I did a lot of the housework at his place and so on. I felt I was owned, but certainly not owned enough to say I was his slave. Soon it became clear that not living together was just holding us back and that we both wanted more. Now that we live together our relationship has become a lot more satisfying for both of us.

I'm sure that it is possible to make a D/s relationship work for at least a certain period of time living a few blocks apart, but it takes a lot of determination and also imagination. Then again I'm not sure a lot of people would be willing to get engaged to a relationship like that knowing it's all there will ever be. But as a transition it worked fine for us.

 

[HB1965]

I've never lived with any of my Doms, but then the relationship for me was all about the sexual part of it. I'm working now on their being a relationship in which it's all about the submission.

 

[Velvet Bubbles]

.. So im wondering anyone ever heard of doms living in separate houses from their doms? ..

Sure you don't want to edit your original post? As for the intended question, I've a friend who had email only slaves. They were in different states. So, yes, different houses works for some people.

 

[Etoile]

I would imagine it works just the same as any other relationship where the two people are not in the same house. The level of commitment is what you want it to be. There's no reason BDSM has to be special in this aspect. It could be easier than LDR, even, because you don't have to trust that she's really punished herself for you...you can go over and check it out for yourself. I don't see why this wouldn't work.

 

[Netzach]

I don't want a slave living in my house. I want help, I don't want them underfoot at every turn. If H moves here it will be close by but not with us. I don't see how this is skirting the notion of workability - I want him working "in the field" part of the time, and in my house when invited.

I hate living with other people, that I live with my husband is an act of selfless love every day of my life.

 

[HB1965]

I've never lived with a Dom. I've never let anyone in that far. The Dom's have all had my submission sexually, but not in anyother way. As I said before that may change in the future.

 

[FurryFury]

I've always preferred the idea of having a man live in another dwelling whom I could call to come to me when I wanted him and more importantly, tell to go away when I didn't.

*chuckles*

Of course I've always just wanted to be left alone in life. At the time I wanted the above scenario the most, I expected never to be in love because in my book love didn't exist. I thought I'd be a corporate bitch paying for sex when and how I wanted it.

My life doesn't work that way but yes, I am a loner. Now, so many years and much fewer dollars than I expected later, I have to say, living alone would be quite an adjustment. It's ironic in a way. Love does exist and it found me. I wouldn't change that if I could.

 

[BiBunny]

I'm a loner, always have been. I'm an only child, so moving to college with the whole communal living thing drove me nuts. As soon as it was possible to get out of that, I did. Kitty and I have been together for five years, but she still respects my need for privacy, which is why she lives next door to me instead of with me. We spend a lot of our time together, but I can always go have my space if I need it. And sometimes I do need it because I get mean without my alone time. B. calls me a tigress--solitary until mating time.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I don't want a slave living in my house. I want help, I don't want them underfoot at every turn. If H moves here it will be close by but not with us. I don't see how this is skirting the notion of workability - I want him working "in the field" part of the time, and in my house when invited.

I hate living with other people, that I live with my husband is an act of selfless love every day of my life.

LOL, I can so identify with the last bit...as to it working, I can see it working for you because you are special and apt to make the effort to make it work....there are not a lot of people around who would, thus it explains your rare individuality in such things.

Catalina

 

[Homburg]

"v" lives with me. "w" does not.

"v" could not stand living apart from me. "w" couldn't stand living with me (or anyone else).

It all works out.

 

[Life_Noir]

I remember seeing a story at some point... A couple, married for one of those improbably long time periods... 50 years or something like that... That lived next door to each other.. Seperate houses and happy as clams..

As life progresses, I begin to see the attraction of that arrangement..

Martin Mull once said that having children, was like having a bowling alley installed in your head... There are times these days when having anyone around is like that.

Old age and cynicism I suppose......

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I hate living with other people, that I live with my husband is an act of selfless love every day of my life.

I can't help thinking I'm going to feel that way about Master after we move. I've been living alone for a few years now and I really do love having my own space. That said, I do think (hope) I'm ready for the transition and mature enough to bite my tongue every hour or so and make it work.