Dommes or subs of Dommes

[NikiCole]

I have heard from many Doms, some have given me answers, some just want to play, and some are just really annoying.
The information that I have been given is wonderful. I'm slowly starting to understand the relationship between a Dom and their sub, but I have not been given the opportunity to ask anything of a Domme or a sub who has a Domme.

I'm pretty sure my use of words might be incorrect, please forgive, I'm learning.

What I want is to know how a woman feels to dominate a sub. Or how a sub feels being dominated by a female.

I'm a knowledge whore, I like to know what people think.

 

[Netzach]

ask 25000 women get 25000 answers, you know?

There's no way to generalize this one. I don't even feel the same way about one sub versus another sub or the same person on different days.

 

[NikiCole]

I guess that's what I am looking for. I want the different opinions, thoughts. But thank you any way.

 

[Primalex]

What I want is to know how a woman feels to dominate a sub.

dominant.

Or how a sub feels being dominated by a female.

submissive.

 

[NikiCole]

I'm sorry, I will see if I can find out to remove this thread. Thank you.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Naw, it's the right place for it. It's just a big question.

I do NOT "Dominate subs." although I am a dominant personality. I top.

But I can tell you a little bit about how I do feel when I play-- I am overcome by tenderness towards my bottoming partner. In the best cases, I feel as if there's a telepathic link, and I feel what she does as I bring the cane down on her ass. My aim is to give her exactly what she wants, and her pleasure or tears are what I'm aiming for. If it goes right, I feel as if I've carved off a chunk of her to keep for myself.

 

[NikiCole]

Naw, it's the right place for it. It's just a big question.

I do NOT "Dominate subs." although I am a dominant personality. I top.

But I can tell you a little bit about how I do feel when I play-- I am overcome by tenderness towards my bottoming partner. In the best cases, I feel as if there's a telepathic link, and I feel what she does as I bring the cane down on her ass. My aim is to give her exactly what she wants, and her pleasure or tears are what I'm aiming for. If it goes right, I feel as if I've carved off a chunk of her to keep for myself.

Thank you. That's what I was looking for. Just an idea that it is not just about sexual gratification.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Thank you. That's what I was looking for. Just an idea that it is not just about sexual gratification.

Well sure, its sexual gratification. I'm all about sexual gratification.

There are many many ways and reasons for BDSM. The trick is in finding the person (or people) who want the same things as you do.

 

[Daxaeha]

The trick is in finding the person (or people) who want the same things as you do.

Which is just as, if not more difficult than finding a "lasting relationship", at least where I live.

 

[Primalex]

Thank you. That's what I was looking for. Just an idea that it is not just about sexual gratification.

Which doesn't mean that the very first Dom you fall in love with, will not just use dominance for sexual gratification. Unless you intend to do Stella, how (s)he feels will never matter for your life.


Kids.

 

[NikiCole]

I'm not looking to fall in love, but mutual admiration and enjoyment. Hell, right now I'm just looking for a bit of understanding of the dynamics between Dom and sub

 

[Primalex]

I'm not looking to fall in love, but mutual admiration and enjoyment. Hell, right now I'm just looking for a bit of understanding of the dynamics between Dom and sub

It's a relationship with a human being.

The dynamics are in all relationships the same - power, affect, respect.

He can have the power.
You can have the power.

He can like things.
You can like things.
He can dislike things.
You can dislike things.

He can respect you.
You can respect him.
He cannot respect you.
You cannot respect him.


If he cuffs and gags you and fucks you in the ass without lube while you cry, then people call this BDSM.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I can give you lists and lists of fiction that depict different writer's idealised versions of different D/s relationships. But-- those are idealizations, whether perfect Harlequin romance inventions or gory downward spirals-- each one is constructed for plot purposes. And fappery, let us never forget.

Still, PM me if you want!

 

[Daxaeha]

...And fappery, let us never forget.

Use fappery in a sentence one more time and I might be inclined to demonstrate the definition to my computer screen.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Use fappery in a sentence one more time and I might be inclined to demonstrate the definition to my computer screen.

hehe

"She enjoys the company of fappists."

He is inclined to fappery."

"Fappism is a force for social growth."

"I feel a bit fappish right now."

"Have you fapped today?

"Care to join me in the fapporium?"

Has a bit of a steampunk ring to it.

 

[Scentofawoman]

Quite so. I feel very fappish

 

[knot_sweet]

I have heard from many Doms, some have given me answers, some just want to play, and some are just really annoying.
The information that I have been given is wonderful. I'm slowly starting to understand the relationship between a Dom and their sub, but I have not been given the opportunity to ask anything of a Domme or a sub who has a Domme.

I'm pretty sure my use of words might be incorrect, please forgive, I'm learning.

What I want is to know how a woman feels to dominate a sub. Or how a sub feels being dominated by a female.

I'm a knowledge whore, I like to know what people think.

I mostly feel an overwhelming sense of MINE.

Mine to pleasure and take pleasure from (please note the 'take' part)

In the quiet afterglow, mine to protect and watch over.

 

[NikiCole]

I mostly feel an overwhelming sense of MINE.

Mine to pleasure and take pleasure from (please note the 'take' part)

In the quiet afterglow, mine to protect and watch over.

That makes it easier to understand. So, for whatever the play is, that person is yours, their body is yours to play with and take. hmmmm, interesting.

 

[Netzach]

Sometimes I feel that way too. Not to be too much of a fly in the ointment, but in many a one-on-one with my penis-endowed dominant colleagues, what do you know, dude also feels the same.

I think the one thing that you get as a FemDom that you don't get as an MDom is that sense of - transgression. Or dudes treating you as described in Stella's thread for the most part - but the upside of this is that you are, as I said somewhere else, giving the finger to 8000 years of culture every time you have sex how you like. That's pretty intense pleasure for those who want to look at it that way.

That's different from the transgressive feeling a guy gets. Maybe he's thumbing his nose at an overbearing mother, or 30 ish years of feminism in the mainstream or something, but pssht, that's amateur hour to me, in terms of "everything I've been told is that this is wrong, but I'm doing it anyway." Neither mainstream feminism nor mom are especially thrilled by the real prospect of a sexually dominant daughter, once you get past the superficial cartoon version, anyway.

 

[NikiCole]

- but the upside of this is that you are, as I said somewhere else, giving the finger to 8000 years of culture every time you have sex how you like.

This I understand! Maybe not in the same context, but the idea of saying screw you to what society has deems appropriate for women.

Years ago, before life interrupted, a friend and I made deal/pack/promise, that we were gonna "act like the boys" as we put it back then. So for one blissful summer we had sex with who we wanted, how we wanted, and if we called them back depended on how good they were. We were told that it was "not proper behavior for a lady". We thought if men could do it, why couldn't we?

I know, before I get slapped with PMs from some angry people, not all guys are like that, I should not lump men together like that, so forth and so on. But I enjoyed the hell out of that summer

 

[Netzach]

This I understand! Maybe not in the same context, but the idea of saying screw you to what society has deems appropriate for women.

Years ago, before life interrupted, a friend and I made deal/pack/promise, that we were gonna "act like the boys" as we put it back then. So for one blissful summer we had sex with who we wanted, how we wanted, and if we called them back depended on how good they were. We were told that it was "not proper behavior for a lady". We thought if men could do it, why couldn't we?

I know, before I get slapped with PMs from some angry people, not all guys are like that, I should not lump men together like that, so forth and so on. But I enjoyed the hell out of that summer

So why the deadline on this? I have no problem that guys "are like that" or that anyone is "like that" because the other options scare the shit out of me and are paved with a lot of unhappy people clinging to each other because alone is too scary. I've been on the butthurt end of that, but I'll take butthurt any day over having to pretend to like sex with someone out of "nice"

I'm also fine with alternate arrangements tho - secondary flings keep sex with each other from becoming stab-me-with-a-fork dull for both of us.

 

[dreamykitten2]

I am a Domme

And I'm a sub too ! I'm a switch so I would be glad to answer any questions u have! Pm me and we will start the conversation! And for your info I'm a knowledge whore too!

 

[leomasoch]

I am very lucky that in my life I have had three genuine, non-pro relationships with natural dommes - women who were domming because they enjoyed it. The latest and , I hope, last of these relationships is with my darling Jo - known to me also as Mistress Josephine, when the mood takes her.

To be under her spell is the most concentrated experience imaginable. Only when serving her is my mind devoid of any wandering thoughts ("I haven't paid the electricity bill." "I wonder who will win the football?") Such thoughts do not enter my brain At such moments there exists then only one thing in my life and that one thing is my Mistress Josephine. She literally enthralls me. I love her tenderly, although she can seem heartlessly cruel, when in such a mood. I cannot believe that 'vanilla' couples could experience this totality of love, excluding all else. I have no religion. It is, I suppose, equivalent to a religious experience for me. Mistress Josephine is my Goddess on earth. Leo

 

[knot_sweet]

Sometimes I feel that way too. Not to be too much of a fly in the ointment, but in many a one-on-one with my penis-endowed dominant colleagues, what do you know, dude also feels the same.

I think the one thing that you get as a FemDom that you don't get as an MDom is that sense of - transgression. Or dudes treating you as described in Stella's thread for the most part - but the upside of this is that you are, as I said somewhere else, giving the finger to 8000 years of culture every time you have sex how you like. That's pretty intense pleasure for those who want to look at it that way.

That's different from the transgressive feeling a guy gets. Maybe he's thumbing his nose at an overbearing mother, or 30 ish years of feminism in the mainstream or something, but pssht, that's amateur hour to me, in terms of "everything I've been told is that this is wrong, but I'm doing it anyway." Neither mainstream feminism nor mom are especially thrilled by the real prospect of a sexually dominant daughter, once you get past the superficial cartoon version, anyway.

I have to admit, I hadn't looked at it from this perspective, but I guess for alot of people this could be a large part of the appeal. I work in an environment that, although male dominated, is extremely equal in work ethic and expectations. It always baffles me a little when people remind me of women's rights etc etc as on a day to day basis I live in a small bubble, free from that kind of BS.

 

[Netzach]

I have to admit, I hadn't looked at it from this perspective, but I guess for alot of people this could be a large part of the appeal. I work in an environment that, although male dominated, is extremely equal in work ethic and expectations. It always baffles me a little when people remind me of women's rights etc etc as on a day to day basis I live in a small bubble, free from that kind of BS.

No one's "free of" that BS. Were you praised as a kid for being "pretty?" Were you ever told you need to smile more?

The message that your life's function is to make people feel good and make babies is so all consuming you may not feel it every day - I don't because I've set up my life in opposition, but it's THERE.

So a sexuality that's (oversimplifying) about making yourself feel good, even making yourself feel good in disregard to someone else - that's VERY oppositional.