Domination assignments

[atmas]

I'm looking for insight into assignments to be given to a new and somewhat fragile sub. I'd prefer them to be rather mild and fairly arousing; I've come up with a few but am completely open to your expert suggestions.
And this is a long distance thing.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Well 'fragile' is a bit of an ambiguous term, I hope that your sub is enjoying his/her journey.

not wearing any panties

rituals to be completed at certain times e.g. 'before you get up each morning you will masturbate for exactly 5 minutes but you may not cum.'#

something that symbolises your dominance and serves as a constant reminder, even when around others, like a necklace or an elastic band around the wrist which is snapped against the skin every time he/she thinks of you.

punishments/forfeits for little failings like coming online later than agreed.

diary keeping. this is a handy and insightful tool. get him/her to keep a diary of anything related to your relationship like when they think of you, masturbate, dream about you, fantasise etc and thoughts/feelings about the relationship. it can serve as a useful tool that teaches you what makes the sub tick.

 

[unfoundiamond]

fragile journeys

Clothes to wear, and/or a picture...

Writtings about each orgasam...

How to fuck the old ball and chain... **((just kidding, LOL))**
But it is a fun one...

Reporting the kind of porn or other erotic means of stimulus... ((helps find out peoples fetishes and buttons))

Have her ask permission to come and have her come with you on the phone... ((coming in sync is hot))

(Calm down puppy, I know that ones yours) hahaha.

**((*#!^ucking *itches now days!!*#!)) (in general... of course)

 

[Blushing Bottom]

Have your sub go the pharmacy and buy condoms, a Fleets enema & lube...nothing else and have her report the reaction of the cashier and submit the register receipt to you.

This was my first task ever and I was mortified when the cashier smiled and told me to have a good evening.

 

[myinnerslut]

for a brand new sub, especially one youve listed as fragile, id make certian i wasnt moing too fast or her by giving her all these assignments.

id also stay away from assignments that have no purpose other then "becuase i said so"

focus right now on things that will help you know her, and help her know herself. specifically for an LDR (im in one too so i have some experience here) you want to make sure you know her. things like filling out a checklist. talking about her fantasies. writing in a journal. in my experience, i use an online journal from www.livejournal.com , i have it set to private and Master has the password who we are the only ones who can see it.

 

[buxxxom]

I prefer written assignments at first. These are easily saved, and can be referred to later when planning a session. Some assignments I've given are:

-complete a bdsm checklist

-tell me about the first orgasm you had that was bdsm related

-tell me something about you that no one else knows

-describe one defining moment in your journey to become a submissive

-tell me one thing you've learned about yourself/about Me that surprised you

-tell me something you've learned from a previous mistress and relate how it makes you a better sub for Me

-create 3 safewords and describe a definition for when you might feel the need to use them


There are other, daily physical rituals, that are part of things. These include wearing leather laces for a portion of the day, stroking to erection each morning in the shower, etc.

Choose assignments that will be meaningful to you and your sub.

 

[ataxia.girl]

for a brand new sub, especially one youve listed as fragile, id make certian i wasnt moing too fast or her by giving her all these assignments.

Agreed. Pace is really important. One assignment, an opportunity to excel in that assignment, lots of praise and then next assignment would probably be a good route and give you an opportunity to evaluate how effective each one was.

Remembering to follow through and remembering all the details of each assignment, for me at least, helps me feel very cared for. i hate nothing more than to be given a huge list of tasks to do only to find out later the D forgot half of what he told me while i very carefully completed each request. I'm not just annoyed when that happens, i feel truly hurt that i was not worth his effort to remember.

It can be fun to just take time to savor the nuances that come up from each task rather than rushing around trying to check off a laundry list.

For the record though i love the "because i said so" tasks. They give me as a submissive a way to see if the Dominant really knows and understands me. i generally do tasks assigned to me with great care and i like to know he took care in choosing and tailoring the tasks given to either give him the greatest pleasure or meet one of my needs specific to me as a person.

 

[Caitlynne]

All of these suggestions are excellent, and the advice is too...... But [oh come on now you knew it was coming] try and pick the ones that you'd really like to have her do or things you'd like to read. The ones that you'd find pleasurable.

 

[atmas]

Well 'fragile' is a bit of an ambiguous term, I hope that your sub is enjoying his/her journey.

not wearing any panties

rituals to be completed at certain times e.g. 'before you get up each morning you will masturbate for exactly 5 minutes but you may not cum.'#

something that symbolises your dominance and serves as a constant reminder, even when around others, like a necklace or an elastic band around the wrist which is snapped against the skin every time he/she thinks of you.

punishments/forfeits for little failings like coming online later than agreed.

diary keeping. this is a handy and insightful tool. get him/her to keep a diary of anything related to your relationship like when they think of you, masturbate, dream about you, fantasise etc and thoughts/feelings about the relationship. it can serve as a useful tool that teaches you what makes the sub tick.

This is great, thank you!
Just what I was after. This also prods the imagination.

 

[atmas]

Clothes to wear, and/or a picture...

Writtings about each orgasam...

How to fuck the old ball and chain... **((just kidding, LOL))**
But it is a fun one...

Reporting the kind of porn or other erotic means of stimulus... ((helps find out peoples fetishes and buttons))

Have her ask permission to come and have her come with you on the phone... ((coming in sync is hot))

(Calm down puppy, I know that ones yours) hahaha.

**((*#!^ucking *itches now days!!*#!)) (in general... of course)

More very good ideas.
I'm somewhat new to this but have been doing a good amount of reading. I also have a rather fertile imagination, thus these ideas are leading to more ideas.
She and I are friends and she is quite new to the scene, thus I want it to be entertaining and a little challenging

 

[atmas]

Have your sub go the pharmacy and buy condoms, a Fleets enema & lube...nothing else and have her report the reaction of the cashier and submit the register receipt to you.

This was my first task ever and I was mortified when the cashier smiled and told me to have a good evening.

Oo, this is really good.

 

[atmas]

for a brand new sub, especially one youve listed as fragile, id make certian i wasnt moing too fast or her by giving her all these assignments.

id also stay away from assignments that have no purpose other then "becuase i said so"

focus right now on things that will help you know her, and help her know herself. specifically for an LDR (im in one too so i have some experience here) you want to make sure you know her. things like filling out a checklist. talking about her fantasies. writing in a journal. in my experience, i use an online journal from www.livejournal.com , i have it set to private and Master has the password who we are the only ones who can see it.

This is terrific advice in general, not just as related to Dom/sub relationships. Thanks

 

[atmas]

I prefer written assignments at first. These are easily saved, and can be referred to later when planning a session. Some assignments I've given are:

-complete a bdsm checklist

-tell me about the first orgasm you had that was bdsm related

-tell me something about you that no one else knows

-describe one defining moment in your journey to become a submissive

-tell me one thing you've learned about yourself/about Me that surprised you

-tell me something you've learned from a previous mistress and relate how it makes you a better sub for Me

-create 3 safewords and describe a definition for when you might feel the need to use them


There are other, daily physical rituals, that are part of things. These include wearing leather laces for a portion of the day, stroking to erection each morning in the shower, etc.

Choose assignments that will be meaningful to you and your sub.

These are also very good suggestions. She and I have had a friendship for a while and, though I hope it doesn't seem I'm disrespectful of the Dom/sub lifestyle and dynamic, we agreed we'd like to explore it. Thus it is beginning rather informally, but I have already given a few assignments that were fun and a little challenging.
As things progress these sorts of assignments, written ones, will be very good ones. For the moment we're not overly formal though.

 

[atmas]

Agreed. Pace is really important. One assignment, an opportunity to excel in that assignment, lots of praise and then next assignment would probably be a good route and give you an opportunity to evaluate how effective each one was.

Remembering to follow through and remembering all the details of each assignment, for me at least, helps me feel very cared for. i hate nothing more than to be given a huge list of tasks to do only to find out later the D forgot half of what he told me while i very carefully completed each request. I'm not just annoyed when that happens, i feel truly hurt that i was not worth his effort to remember.

It can be fun to just take time to savor the nuances that come up from each task rather than rushing around trying to check off a laundry list.

For the record though i love the "because i said so" tasks. They give me as a submissive a way to see if the Dominant really knows and understands me. i generally do tasks assigned to me with great care and i like to know he took care in choosing and tailoring the tasks given to either give him the greatest pleasure or meet one of my needs specific to me as a person.

Thanks for the insight. As mentioned, I've done a lot of reading but not much practicing. And even better than reading is coming across a post like this, because it comes from your experience. Plus it talks more of general impressions than specific cookie cutter things to think about.

 

[atmas]

All of these suggestions are excellent, and the advice is too...... But [oh come on now you knew it was coming] try and pick the ones that you'd really like to have her do or things you'd like to read. The ones that you'd find pleasurable.

Agreed. The advice here has been terrific, and has spurred my own imagination. So, while I'll try many of the suggestions, I look for ward to coming up with a few of my own.

 

[myinnerslut]

just remember, this is a marathon not a sprint. dont feel like you have to do everything all at once. in fact, thats the opposite of what you should be doing. take the time to enjoy what you are doing and see how it affects her and you. enjoy.

 

[atmas]

just remember, this is a marathon not a sprint. dont feel like you have to do everything all at once. in fact, thats the opposite of what you should be doing. take the time to enjoy what you are doing and see how it affects her and you. enjoy.

Thank you.
This thread has given me some really interesting specific ideas, but this post has been enormously helpful in providing perspective.