Doing The D/s Thing Occasionally

[IrisAlthea]

I think I might have started a bit of a misunderstanding here. I was aiming to echo the thoughts of ecstatic sub above.

I have very little time for a sex life, and while the dynamic would be 24/7, when I can realistically only participate for 3/4 hours of that day, I would call it a part time thing.

Then I think you misread. She writes that she is in a 24/7 relationship.

 

[Primalex]

Ever heard of planning for the future? I'm not about to get into a fulltime relationship like that with the plan that its going to end one Wednesday in August in a couple of years time.

Yeah I could do it now. I could skive lectures to go and be with my guy (and have done!) but I quickly learnt that was a terrible idea after nearly having a breakdown during exams last year.

SO maybe the 'saving lives' thing was slightly for dramatic effect (although a valid point) but there are plenty of other occasions when it would be inappropriate. In the dissecting room we are not allowed to get our phones out. I'm in there at least two hours a week. I do a lot of volunteering. I have other responsibilities!

Not sure if parody or just nonsense.


You started with "I can't do D/s outside the bedroom" and now end up ranting about not becoming a 24/7 TPE slave. If there is a borderline syndrome for arguments, you've hit it.

 

[KinkyPan]

I consider my relationship 24/7 even though we live 150 miles away from each other. He could if he wanted to text or call me anytime of the day and order me to do whatever he wanted and I would obey. However, he wants me to be able to concentrate on my job, and to not put me in a difficult situation in front of my children. We both have job and family obligation.

But that doesn't make the D/s part-time. The power exchange is always he is in change, I am submissive. The mindset is 24/7. There are tiny decisions I make throughout the day based on what I know he expects of me. The S&M part is more part-time. And because of our lives and distance not as often as I would like.

This is wonderfully put, estaticsub. I hadn't thought about it like this before. I guess when I hear "24/7" I immediately think of the more extreme examples where the dominant controls what the submissive wears and eats, and demands frequent communication throughout the day, etc.

The way you describe it, though, makes a lot of sense to me and makes me reconsider whether I've been in 24/7 dynamics without ever even realising it. There have certainly been relationships where the power dynamic permeated all of my interactions with my partner, but because it wasn't that stereotypical (and unusual) 24/7 environment, it never occurred to me to think of it that way. I think I need to give this some more thought.

It sounds like you're defining "full-time" as "always (or nearly always) in that power dynamic" and "part time" as "stepping into that dynamic only at certain times." But the dynamic doesn't have to be constantly demonstrated with order after order to exist, and that's I think something my brain had been hung up on.

Thank you for clarifying this for me.

 

[desertslave]

I think there are a lot of variations in terms of time invested and time intended, and it's ultimately whatever works for you and your partner.

In my mind I'm always sub, always belong to Master, but how that gets manifested varies in a lot of ways. I'm also a mom (though my kids are burgeoning adults, one away at college, one attending locally), a working artist, and an active member of the SCA (without Master, by his choice). When I'm wearing those other hats, the D/s takes something of a backseat. Hell, on good days, I'm the domme, making hot glass bend to my will!

But, all those other guises are also, to a very large extent, because Master allows it to be so. He knows what I need to keep sane and healthy (mentally and physically). He does his best to make sure his favorite toy is in top condition for those magical times when we get to be US, and he gets to torment me out of my everlovin' mind.

Part of me would love to trot around in a g-string and chains, getting flogged or fucked whenever he has the urge, like all those lovely fantasy novels. Better coverings are helpful, though, for cooking bacon and dodging popping bits of hot glass. Not to mention silly things like going grocery shopping or working on new medieval dance tunes with my vanilla friends.

 

[SlapNTickle4Me]

Not fulfilling to me

I am exiting an occasional D/s thing because as a submissive with specific needs part-time does not work for me.

Even though we discussed what I was seeking prior to entering into our relationship my bf (can't call him my Dom cause he never truly was) figured that he could just be a part-time Dom.

We were living together and since vanilla does not work for me I am moving next week. It sucks but I am unwilling to settle, period.

Hopefully I will encounter a true Dom that is seeking a D/s relationship and not just some occasional kink.