Doing some research...

[logophile]

Getting ready to write a story that has been plaguing me and I wanted to ask a few questions of the rest of you!

In the story, the male partner is feeling that his desires make him a bad person somehow. He can't believe that other people want sex as often as he does or that they want to experiment the way he does. Eventually, he and his partner are going to go a sexual exploration retreat where they will learn about what sexual "normalcy" really is.

So, in that vein, I would like to know ...

A) Whether you're in a partnered relationship...

B) How often you'd like to have sex each week (if kids, work, bills, etc didn't get in the way)?

C) How often you actually have sex?

D) How often you masturbate?

E) Does frequency of sex with a partner impact frequency of masturbation?

F) Do you have a secret unfulfilled sexual desire that you've never shared with a partner?

Thanks to anyone who might be willing to answer these questions for me!

 

[Guest]

ah ha... sure...research, she says.
hrmf!

 

[logophile]

ah ha... sure...research, she says.
hrmf!

Oh, sweet meaniehead! With this lot, there's no need to put up a guise. If I wasn't really doing research, I would just tell everyone I was feeling nosy and ask the exact same questions...

 

[carsonshepherd]

A) Whether you're in a partnered relationship...

Yup. 4 years.

B) How often you'd like to have sex each week (if kids, work, bills, etc didn't get in the way)?

He's a once-a-dayer; I'm more 2-3 times/week.

C) How often you actually have sex?

Once a week, sometimes twice. Work/different sleep patterns/exhaustion factor in.

D) How often you masturbate?

*cough*

E) Does frequency of sex with a partner impact frequency of masturbation?

Nah.

F) Do you have a secret unfulfilled sexual desire that you've never shared with a partner?

Err.... yes.

You're welcome gorgeous.

 

[logophile]

You're welcome gorgeous.

Oh, you called me gorgeous!

 

[ElizabethWest]

A) Whether you're in a partnered relationship... Yes, for 11 years

B) How often you'd like to have sex each week (if kids, work, bills, etc didn't get in the way)? Never.

C) How often you actually have sex? Once a month, if he's lucky.

D) How often you masturbate? Attempts or successes? That's a whole other thread.

E) Does frequency of sex with a partner impact frequency of masturbation? No.

F) Do you have a secret unfulfilled sexual desire that you've never shared with a partner? Absolutely.

If honesty is what you want, don't judge me too critically.

 

[logophile]

If honesty is what you want, don't judge me too critically.

I would never judge anyone, especially not for their sex lives.

I will share something with you, in the spirit of "show me yours, I'll show you mine..."

I was with my ex for 13 years. When we first got together, we had sex twice everyday for the first couple of years. Then he left me for 6 months or so and when I had finally found another relationship, he showed back and asked me to marry him. I accepted his proposal for a lot of reasons, none of them very bright.

But our sex life was never the same. It crushed me when he left and never in the course of our relationship did I regain any sense of myself or my worth. We didn't sleep together for the first month after we got back together and then when we finally starting having sex again, it was maybe once a week or once every two weeks. I was 21 at the time, definitely still at an age when I should have been more interested than that!

I got pregnant a few months after we got married and wanted lots of sex during the second and third trimester, but he wouldn't do it once I was obviously showing. More destruction of my ego and it never quite recovered. After that, we pretty much only slept together when I was ready to conceive again.

When our last baby was born, it was eight months before we had sex again and I still didn't want it. I just felt like I should. I had no desire at all. It wasn't that I didn't desire him, I didn't desire sex or sexual contact. I felt like sex was a base instinct and would feel horribly ashamed if I had a moment of lust. I felt the same way about anger, interestingly enough.

Anyway, eventually I had a nervous breakdown from repressing all of my normal emotions (not my sexuality, but anger, sadness, frustration, anything that would make me seem unpleasant to him). Once my brain popped open and I had to deal with my whole being again, I regained my sex drive and with a vengeance.

Of course, I'm not saying this is your situation at all! I'm just saying that I spent years never caring about sex at all and was perfectly content with that part of my life. I think there are lots of things that can kill a sex drive. Maybe one day your situation will change in a way that makes you happy!

 

[Pure]

well, logo, since it's for the cause of science,

Logo asked, So, in that vein, I would like to know ...
[answers in italics]

A) Whether you're in a partnered relationship...

yes

B) How often you'd like to have sex each week (if kids, work, bills, etc didn't get in the way)?

about 3 times a week, unless Uma drops by.

C) How often you actually have sex?

once a week; formerly 3 times.

D) How often you masturbate?

one to three/ week

E) Does frequency of sex with a partner impact frequency of masturbation?

yes, and vice versa. quality also counts, i.e., frequent *high quality* sex give rise--as it were-- to limited desire for self help, but there are always unforseen circumstances.

F) Do you have a secret unfulfilled sexual desire that you've never shared with a partner?

hard to answer. first, you might note the possibility that an odd desire *has been fulfilled, but not with partner. also, 'shared'-- could simply mean 'told about.' But I don't suppose I've told about all secret desires--- has anyone?

 

[ElizabethWest]

Maybe one day your situation will change in a way that makes you happy!

Thanks for sharing, dear. I hope to be happy again, too. Someday I may share my problem with all of you.
Coming soon to an AH near you...

 

[curious2c]

Getting ready to write a story that has been plaguing me and I wanted to ask a few questions of the rest of you!

In the story, the male partner is feeling that his desires make him a bad person somehow. He can't believe that other people want sex as often as he does or that they want to experiment the way he does. Eventually, he and his partner are going to go a sexual exploration retreat where they will learn about what sexual "normalcy" really is.

So, in that vein, I would like to know ...

A) Whether you're in a partnered relationship...


B) How often you'd like to have sex each week (if kids, work, bills, etc didn't get in the way)?


C) How often you actually have sex?

.
D) How often you masturbate?


E) Does frequency of sex with a partner impact frequency of masturbation?


F) Do you have a secret unfulfilled sexual desire that you've never shared with a partner?


Thanks to anyone who might be willing to answer these questions for me!

A) Yes

B) With no distractions other than the SO...daily...at least.

C) Lets see...it's been three years, two months, and a couple of weeks give or take a day.

D) See answers to (B) and (C) and do some math.

E) Ohhhh yeah.

F) Yes, I do as a matter of fact. One that I'll not share with anyone. Sometimes fantasies are best left as just that...fantasies.

Interesting questions by the way. Good luck with your new story.

 

[mcfbridge]

Sure, answers are below

Getting ready to write a story that has been plaguing me and I wanted to ask a few questions of the rest of you!

In the story, the male partner is feeling that his desires make him a bad person somehow. He can't believe that other people want sex as often as he does or that they want to experiment the way he does. Eventually, he and his partner are going to go a sexual exploration retreat where they will learn about what sexual "normalcy" really is.

So, in that vein, I would like to know ...

A) Whether you're in a partnered relationship... YES

B) How often you'd like to have sex each week (if kids, work, bills, etc didn't get in the way)? two or three times

(C) How often you actually have sex? Lest than once per week.

D) How often you masturbate? It varies

E) Does frequency of sex with a partner impact frequency of masturbation? Yes

F) Do you have a secret unfulfilled sexual desire that you've never shared with a partner? Yes, (does seeing logophile without the lingerie count?)

Thanks to anyone who might be willing to answer these questions for me!

 

[BlackShanglan]

Only for you, dear one. This sort of thing makes me uncomfortable, but in the interest of learning and scholarship ...

A) Whether you're in a partnered relationship...

Yes.

B) How often you'd like to have sex each week (if kids, work, bills, etc didn't get in the way)?

I find it difficult to answer this. It varies enormously based on emotional, physical, and mental state. I don't have an ideal number. Possibly two or three times a week?

C) How often you actually have sex?

Varies considerably. Zero to four or five times per week.

D) How often you masturbate?

If time and privacy permits, about once daily.

E) Does frequency of sex with a partner impact frequency of masturbation?

Yes. I tend to do each more when I am doing the other. And both more when I am reading erotica, writing stroke, or investigating a new fetish.

F) Do you have a secret unfulfilled sexual desire that you've never shared with a partner?

Not really. My SO is very open-minded on the topic of fantasies. My one rule is that I never mention the name of any person we actually know.

 

[logophile]

Only for you, dear one. This sort of thing makes me uncomfortable, but in the interest of learning and scholarship ...

Thank you my friend!

You said:
E) Does frequency of sex with a partner impact frequency of masturbation?

Yes. I tend to do each more when I am doing the other. And both more when I am reading erotica, writing stroke, or investigating a new fetish.


That's me too, but we seem to be in the minority. The more sex I'm having, the more sex I want to have! Whether it's by myself or with a partner!

 

[tolyk]

A) Whether you're in a partnered relationship... Not yet

B) How often you'd like to have sex each week (if kids, work, bills, etc didn't get in the way)? Well, when I first met my ex it was 5 times a day, would very much like to have that back again.

C) How often you actually have sex? Right now, not at all.

D) How often you masturbate? On average 1 to 3 times a day, lately though it's not been nearly as often.

E) Does frequency of sex with a partner impact frequency of masturbation? Generally if I'm getting sex at all, masterbation goes away.

F) Do you have a secret unfulfilled sexual desire that you've never shared with a partner? No, think I shared all my fantasies with my partner, however they're still unfulfilled.. heh.

 

[~photoguy~]

A) Whether you're in a partnered relationship... yes, 22 yrs

B) How often you'd like to have sex each week (if kids, work, bills, etc didn't get in the way)? 3 x a week would be about purr-fect

C) How often you actually have sex? once a week

D) How often you masturbate? 1 - 2 x a week

E) Does frequency of sex with a partner impact frequency of masturbation? nope

F) Do you have a secret unfulfilled sexual desire that you've never shared with a partner? yes, several

 

[Guest]

A) Whether you're in a partnered relationship...

B) How often you'd like to have sex each week (if kids, work, bills, etc didn't get in the way)?

C) How often you actually have sex?

D) How often you masturbate?

E) Does frequency of sex with a partner impact frequency of masturbation?

F) Do you have a secret unfulfilled sexual desire that you've never shared with a partner?

Thanks to anyone who might be willing to answer these questions for me! [/QUOTE]


a) Yes - 14 years on and off

b) 5/6 times per week, since I semi-retired from training my sex drive went through the roof

c) 4

D) Daily - sometimes more

E) Nope, but more done whilst being watched the more you get the more you want, right?

F) Yes

There you go - right, i'm off

 

[logophile]

Thanks to everyone who has responded so far! I am in the middle of packing and moving to a new apartment so I wasn't able to get on yesterday to respond to each post like I wanted to. If anyone else feels comfortable answering those questions, I'd really appreciate it!

 

[angelicminx]

Thanks to everyone who has responded so far! I am in the middle of packing and moving to a new apartment so I wasn't able to get on yesterday to respond to each post like I wanted to. If anyone else feels comfortable answering those questions, I'd really appreciate it!

A) Whether you're in a partnered relationship...

Yes, for 15 years now... since we were 16. (December 1989)

B) How often you'd like to have sex each week (if kids, work, bills, etc didn't get in the way)?

Daily at a minimum

C) How often you actually have sex?

Averages out to daily, if you figure a day or two missed during the week made up for on the weekend...

D) How often you masturbate?

Minimum of once a day, more frequent now with the discovery of Lit...

E) Does frequency of sex with a partner impact frequency of masturbation?

Frequency? No. Quality? YES. When it's very good I want more...

F) Do you have a secret unfulfilled sexual desire that you've never shared with a partner?

I began voicing fantasies outside the realm of "normal" to him in October 2004. He has since called me a freak so I choose not to tell him the darker, kinkier ones. I have fantasies galore... one day I will fulfill them.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

*scribble, scribble, scribble*

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

The only reason you're not replying is that you can't post exponents.

english, man...english?

 

[Guest]

 

[cantdog]

I come a couple times a day. I don't keep score on the sex frequency, though. It seems somehow unnecessary and disdainful to measure the girl's appetite against the calendar. She'll never have my capacity. It used to gall me (In my youth I would come much more often than now.) but I don't sweat it, haven't for years.

And I have many hundreds of fantasies. Some of them I wrote, as stories, and not all here.

 

[NoJo]

I did the British thing and didn't poast.