Does True Love Exist?

[cyikac1986]

“I love you.” These three little words might possibly be the most powerful statement one can make to another person. In life, most yearn for the intimate affection that a certain someone can provide them. Women dream of their Prince Charming to come and sweep them off their feet, while men search for the love of their life that sets their heart on fire. But what happens when love is thrown around without a second thought? Has this four letter word become an overused cliché? Has love been replaced with lust? Is there such a thing as true love? This last question has been asked throughout history, while many have argued and debated over the final answer. We, as a society, have become a loveless, sex crazed group of people with no concern for any emotion or attachment in our lives. So does this mean that true love does not exist? No. This only shows that achieving the deepest of feelings takes work that our fast-food eating, TV watching generation is not prepared to handle. I believe that true love does exist, but has merely been pushed aside by convenience, superficiality, and apathy.

Having said all that, can we really differentiate the difference in loving someone and "being in love"? For some this is the same thing. They cannot discern between the intial attraction of lust and what truly being in love means.


Love is a very complex emotion. I do not pretend to understand all about life, and one time I was teased by a very dear friend about having some of the wisdom that comes with age, but I do understand that there are many layers to love.
We all experience it- the love for your parents, the love for your children (even that has varying degrees because no matter how much a parent protests that they love their children equally there is always that 1 child that gets a bit more for 1 reason or another), there is love we have for friends, for spouses, and yes, former lovers. Each one of those loves does nothing to diminish what we feel for another. That's what so great about and what's so tragic about being human- our capacity for different types of love. And with love comes grief, rage, compassion......all the other emotions that temper our lives.

And when we lose one we love-either by death, distance, etc-all we can do is try to understand that that person, even if they have exited our lives intentionally or through mitigating circumstance, that love will always be there, tempered by time, and moved to that region of our brain that allows us the bittersweet memories of that love.

So, what are your thoughts about love?

 

[BlitheSpirit]

Yes.....true love exists

I believe, as you have so eloquently stated, that society as we see it has become apathetic as to what love means....it appears not to be necessary in this high tech, sexually charged atmosphere. I, however, must disagree with the statement that we are "a loveless, sex crazed group of people with no concern for any emotion or attachment in our lives." It has been my experience that love, emotion and attachment are very much desired among those people I have known. Still....it is a rather disheartening realization that many people don't seem to know anything about love, what it feels like to be in love or...how to love. If they did....I don't think we would have a 50% divorce rate.

Love may have been replaced by lust for some who maintain that love is formed through sexual liaison.....but love does not develop with sexual assignation alone, no matter how many times it occurs.
Love matures over a period of time as the "lovers" discover the nuances in the personality of each other and learn to appreciate them. Sex is not necessary to love ....now before I am jumped all over for stating that opinion....I have to say that sex is important to loving and certainly desirable but it does not define being "in love".

Loving and being "in love" are different although equally important. I have loved.....dearly....my parents, my friend, my children (who I do not love one more than the other...I love them differently for the individuals they are)...........and.....I have been "in love" in the past and I am "in love" now.
To me love is that overwhelming combination of feelings.....desire, concern, respect, admiration, on and on...all of which have grown within me over a period of time and become a part of me. The love I feel will, as you have said, always remain with me......


So...."I love you" whispered in the state of passion (to me) has little to do with love.....its more a confirmation of "you were a good lay"...<she ducks all the angry dissenters> ....on the other hand....I have seen love in the eyes of a lover without a word spoken..........

 

[LustfulOne50]

Does True Love Exist

Does True Love Exist, yes very much so I was to become unwitting involuntary party to one of the strongest loves and it happened while writing a story about two lovers of very anceint times when it happened...I would swear to this day Cepth the character I was writing was real and had entered me and his girl entered another person who I had never met her name as I come to find was Sandy, one night online when she IM and surprized me saying the name of the Cepth girlfriend and spelled correctly ...I sat back in my chair in total stock for there was no way she could have ever gotten that name...for everything I had written was still on legal paper and no words were spoken of it. She knew everything and him. We went for coffee and had many talk as to who were they and what did they want. Do I believe in true and pure love that can last the ages...YES OH I Believe.

 

[evildwarf]

true love exsists, true love can span the planet, and transcend time... time... does that exsist?

 

[kendra1980]

Loving and being "in love" are different although equally important. I have loved.....dearly....my parents, my friend, my children (who I do not love one more than the other...I love them differently for the individuals they are)...........and.....I have been "in love" in the past and I am "in love" now.
To me love is that overwhelming combination of feelings.....desire, concern, respect, admiration, on and on...all of which have grown within me over a period of time and become a part of me. The love I feel will, as you have said, always remain with me......


So...."I love you" whispered in the state of passion (to me) has little to do with love.....its more a confirmation of "you were a good lay"...<she ducks all the angry dissenters> ....on the other hand....I have seen love in the eyes of a lover without a word spoken..........

While I agree with the first part of the quoted text, the next paragraph I do not.

I will not angrily dissent, but from one who has experienced whispered "I love yous" while making love, with the one you are 'in love' with, I know they are not always synonymous with 'you are a good lay'.

Maybe too, there is a difference in being a 'good lay' and making love. There is to me. Can you have or be both? A good lay, and loved? Heck yes, but you get so much more when you are not just a sexual being, but a whole being.

When the one you are in love with, looks you in the eye, and whispers those words, as his body first starts pressing towards yours, when you can see that 'something apart' in those very eyes, it doesn't even come close to what you say. It transcends the physical, and if you have never had that...I will wish for you, that someday, you shall.

Maybe that is true with someone you only consider a lover. Someone you use to physically satisfy yourself. I can see that. But when you truly are in love with the person you are with, it isn't just about the physical, it is about the spiritual, the feeding of more than lust and physical need. It is about the need to give something more of yourself.

 

[smotherman]

While I agree with the first part of the quoted text, the next paragraph I do not.

I will not angrily dissent, but from one who has experienced whispered "I love yous" while making love, with the one you are 'in love' with, I know they are not always synonymous with 'you are a good lay'.

Maybe too, there is a difference in being a 'good lay' and making love. There is to me. Can you have or be both? A good lay, and loved? Heck yes, but you get so much more when you are not just a sexual being, but a whole being.

When the one you are in love with, looks you in the eye, and whispers those words, as his body first starts pressing towards yours, when you can see that 'something apart' in those very eyes, it doesn't even come close to what you say. It transcends the physical, and if you have never had that...I will wish for you, that someday, you shall.

Maybe that is true with someone you only consider a lover. Someone you use to physically satisfy yourself. I can see that. But when you truly are in love with the person you are with, it isn't just about the physical, it is about the spiritual, the feeding of more than lust and physical need. It is about the need to give something more of yourself.

Very well said!

Does true love exist, I'd like to think it does, I'm a hopeless romantic that believes in opening up your heart to the possibilities of finding true love. There are many forms of love, but being in love is way more than just physical, It's a emotional and spiritual connection that comes from your soul. You want to spend the rest of your life with that person, he/she becomes the center of your universe and you can't live without them.

Loving someone, you'd do anything for that person, but you can live without them. So many people throw around the word "Love" , sad thing is most people can't differentiate between loving someone and being in love. For me being in love is an emotional connection.

 

[JagFarlane]

Yes...but there are quite a few things to note about it....

1) Too many people confuse love and lust these days. Mostly this is due to the shallow world that we are. Even just look around Lit now...hot AV's are often prized and otherwise good people are ignored for those whom are just simply very attractive [not that a person cannot be both attractive and a good person]

2) Too many people don't understand that even true love takes work. There will be fights, arguements, disagreements. You have to be willing to work those through [and makeup sex is always awesome ]

3) These days we expect movie romances...true love is ever so much more.

 

[AboutFace]

3) These days we expect movie romances...true love is ever so much more.

I don't think that "true love" exists in the way that most people think of it. I think true love is a good solid "working relationship" and mutual respect. It's the comfort of being there for each other when it all winds down. It loses the excitement soon enough... but endures for a long time through bumps and humps.

(and I'm someone that loves that excitement and rush.... but I definitely prefer knowing that he's always there for me)

 

[Golden_Silence]

When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!

For me, I believe that true love exists, I have a list of 5 people that I love unconditionally, without bounds - nothing can come into the equation to alter this.

True, I have made mistakes on this road, and many will know the mistake I made recently.. And this I guess is the part where we agree that love does have a very powerful effect on our lives.

I met the one for me here, unexpectedly I might add, but she was the woman I had wanted all my life, she has all I ever wanted, and I know that I will do anything and everything in my power to make our relationship work.

Sure, lust did play a big part in the beginning, and as the above quote says, when all the fire burns down, its what you have left, thats the stuff we have to work with. For her, I have to show support, patience and I never will go a day without telling her I love her. As with 5000 miles between us, it is all that I can do.

Is this a pipedream? Some people will say it is, but there are many people in this world who know that inside for the one person, there is a feeling that transcends all reason, it is the feeling that you 'know' that no matter what comes your way, that given a chance, you will do all that you can to just about make the world stop turning for that person.

Love exists, true love exists, its just that we all need to communicate with the one person we love, to tell them the good news and the bad, and to be able to let them be there for us.

To Charmed1, this is what I am talking about, its inside me, I cannot ever put it down on paper or transform this feeling into words, but nonetheless it is here in my heart. I love you

 

[chelleb]

“I love you.” These three little words might possibly be the most powerful statement one can make to another person. In life, most yearn for the intimate affection that a certain someone can provide them. Women dream of their Prince Charming to come and sweep them off their feet, while men search for the love of their life that sets their heart on fire. But what happens when love is thrown around without a second thought? Has this four letter word become an overused cliché? Has love been replaced with lust? Is there such a thing as true love? ..........I believe that true love does exist, but has merely been pushed aside by convenience, superficiality, and apathy.

Having said all that, can we really differentiate the difference in loving someone and "being in love"? For some this is the same thing. They cannot discern between the intial attraction of lust and what truly being in love means.

So, what are your thoughts about love?

Yes, I firmly believe that true love does exist. I also agree that "I love you" is an over-used phrase that is sometimes just thrown around recklessly. I am very cautious in using those words. Saying those words is like crossing a bridge - it's a defining point in a relationship and can't be taken back. As a result, I will make damn sure I truly am in love with someone before saying it.
In fact, I don't believe I have said those words to anyone in the context of a relationship. I have certainly thought about it, and am glad that I didn't. Maybe it's idealistic, but I hope to only ever utter those words to one person: the one I'm going to marry, whoever he might be. In my opinion, why would I tell someone 'I love you' if I wasn't ready to spend the rest of my life with them.

Does true love exist, I'd like to think it does, I'm a hopeless romantic that believes in opening up your heart to the possibilities of finding true love. There are many forms of love, but being in love is way more than just physical, It's a emotional and spiritual connection that comes from your soul. You want to spend the rest of your life with that person, he/she becomes the center of your universe and you can't live without them.

Loving someone, you'd do anything for that person, but you can live without them. So many people throw around the word "Love" , sad thing is most people can't differentiate between loving someone and being in love. For me being in love is an emotional connection.

Said much better than I could have!

 

[sirgary]

....

 

[LustfulOne50]

Does True Love Exist, yes very much so I was to become unwitting involuntary party to one of the strongest loves and it happened while writing a story about two lovers of very anceint times when it happened...I would swear to this day Cephisthe character I was writing was real and had entered me and his girl entered another person who I had never met her name as I come to find was Sandy, one night online when she IM and surprized me saying the name of the Cephis girlfriend and spelled correctly ...I sat back in my chair in total stock for there was no way she could have ever gotten that name...for everything I had written was still on legal paper and no words were spoken of it. She knew everything and him. We went for coffee and had many talk as to who were they and what did they want. Do I believe in true and pure love that can last the ages...YES OH I Believe.

I rushed this to get it out at first and it was a mess but I was too excited when I saw the thread....Back ground Cepth was a scribe to a royal court who fell in love with one of the concubines the anients as they were called cursed them Cephis and his girlfriend ( The name I will never give out for let the next writer in the future find out forCephis will tell him)to never be with each other again for eternity. This left Cephis travel through time in sreach of her and at moments in time he called oasis they would meet if he was lucky or he would miss and travel on, there was a catch to there love if the two could land on a oasis together and both be single they could finely be one, but even when they hit the oasis with me and Sandy it turned out Sandy was married, Though there was no alright sex between Sandy and I there was some very passionate kissing and cuddling, yet we both knew of the curse and were not going to distroy what the two lovers had in each other..Sandy and never spoke again ..the last I heard of Sandy she devorced her husband in Va, and moved to Texas to be alone...so yes I believe and so few find it ro even get a chance to touch it.

 

[rhyst_hatchyk]

I do believe in true love, and I think the phrase "I love you" is thrown about far more often than it should be, which is why I explain to people that I won't say it unless I truly mean it; I've had friends say it, and I tell them that because of past experiences, unless I feel that way and am in a relationship with that person, then I won't say it.

However, I believe very much in true love, and I believe that you can say you love someone and mean it wholly and completely. As sirgary said, "as you wish," could be a very powerful statement of love. It also from one of my favorite movies.

I, too, am probably a hopeless romantic; I want to go for picnics in the river valley with a picnic basket, gaze at the stars, and all that. I want to be creative and send gifts to the woman I love, something unexpected and random, but loving and heartfelt.

There are so many different things you can do other than the cliches that pervade our world.

I also agree that love, true love, takes work. It takes commitment and dedication, and some people I've known (and dated) didn't want to dedicate that. Or they wanted far too much; everyone also needs their own personal space. It's a delicate balance, and an open, honest relationship is what I want.

 

[chelleb]

I do believe in true love, and I think the phrase "I love you" is thrown about far more often than it should be, which is why I explain to people that I won't say it unless I truly mean it; I've had friends say it, and I tell them that because of past experiences, unless I feel that way and am in a relationship with that person, then I won't say it.

However, I believe very much in true love, and I believe that you can say you love someone and mean it wholly and completely. As sirgary said, "as you wish," could be a very powerful statement of love. It also from one of my favorite movies.

I, too, am probably a hopeless romantic; I want to go for picnics in the river valley with a picnic basket, gaze at the stars, and all that. I want to be creative and send gifts to the woman I love, something unexpected and random, but loving and heartfelt.

There are so many different things you can do other than the cliches that pervade our world.

I also agree that love, true love, takes work. It takes commitment and dedication, and some people I've known (and dated) didn't want to dedicate that. Or they wanted far too much; everyone also needs their own personal space. It's a delicate balance, and an open, honest relationship is what I want.

Very well said! I think there are more people out there that want this (whether they know it or not), then we realize. This is pretty much exactly what I'm looking for as well, and I seem to have found someone that is looking for the same. Good luck to you in your search, and here's hoping my search is over.

 

[Imaxx]

Ironically, you often find it, not when making love but when that moment comes when you realize you are doing something for that one special person that you would never in a million years do for anyone else. It can be a mere mundane task at a most inopportune moment, but it can also define the limitless boundary of real true love. And sometimes it hits you after the fact. I can remember the day after she had gall bladder surgery and had to get out of bed to struggle to the bathroom. Doing something that comes naturally to us all suddenly became a huge obstacle. There were problems, and "accidents" and I helped her through them. Only weeks later did we both realize how much that embarrassing moment defined our love for each other.

It's not always about the sex...

 

[cyikac1986]

Ironically, you often find it, not when making love but when that moment comes when you realize you are doing something for that one special person that you would never in a million years do for anyone else. It can be a mere mundane task at a most inopportune moment, but it can also define the limitless boundary of real true love. And sometimes it hits you after the fact. I can remember the day after she had gall bladder surgery and had to get out of bed to struggle to the bathroom. Doing something that comes naturally to us all suddenly became a huge obstacle. There were problems, and "accidents" and I helped her through them. Only weeks later did we both realize how much that embarrassing moment defined our love for each other.

It's not always about the sex...

Many do confuse love and sex though. It is quite possible to have sex with someone you may like or even barely know but you certainly do not have to love them.
You are right in that love can be shown in many ways.For me, the defining moment of love occured on a cold, rainy, wind swept morning in a parking lot far,far away and seing a smile that made me feel warmer than all the suns of the universe combined.

 

[ems32]

still looking for love, but optimistic

What great comments and quotes on here! I think my favorite was:

"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it."

I have been in love and have had my heart absolutely crushed. I have been single for the better part of 10 years hoping to meet the right person who will truly love me for ME. My ex-husband surely didn't ... I never even fully let myself shine through because he became so emotionally abusive that if he saw everything he surely would have been worse. It took a few years before I had the strength to leave him.

A few years later I dated someone for 6 months, sadly the longest relationship I've had in these 10 years since my divorce. For the first time, I felt that I was loved (as much as he was able to love ... that was an issue for him) for ME. At least most of me. The sex wasn't very good and when I tried to spice things up he was horrified. So, sexually I couldn't be myself, but in all my other goofy, cry during country songs and some commercials ways, I could be myself. It was liberating.

Then I dated someone for just two months who ended up being crazy, but the sex was amazing and he was so open minded that for the very first time in my life (this was just 2 years ago, I'm 39 now) I was able to really let go sexually. It was tremendous!

I recently "met" someone online, he responded to something I posted on another website and we began a dialogue. There was an instant attraction from a written word standpoint because he could write -- such a rarity these days (well, maybe not here, but elsewhere!). We eventually shared some of our sexual experiences and fantasies through email and realized that we have similar ideas and ideals. He is married and said he is not miserable, but they are not on the same page sexually and that he's never had everything in a relationship (is it possible?). It didn't seem he was looking to screw around on her, just felt like emailing with a like-minded person while bored at work. He and I also have professional experience and goals in common. I was hesitant to meet him for fear of being attracted to him. I've never had an affair with a married man, and my ex-husband was unfaithful. My ex wouldn't touch me after just a year of marriage and would humiliate me in front of our co-workers, one of which was his girlfriend. Everyone knew, it was terrible.

This man I met online seems to be a good man with an outrageous sex drive and desires for things his wife won't do (primarily swinging, which we are talking about trying together -- first time for me, he had done it before he was married). Again, he's not unhappy at home. But I do wonder at times (peril of being single? or just human?) if we could ever have more together because we have both said that it feels great to be able to be totally open and honest with each other about anything without fear of judgment. I have told him things that I have never told anyone, not even my best friend. And while a lot of what we talk about is sexual, it's not all about sex, we talk about other things, too.

We met in real life recently and there was an instant attraction. I've seen him twice, and we've kissed, fondled, snuggled and talked for a couple of hours. I guess I am feeling selfish. I have been alone for so long without romantic love or affection (few exceptions) and here is this man I feel a wonderful connection with and am attracted to, who I felt so comfortable with the very first time we met -- enough to lay in his arms and run my fingers through his hair. But he's married. He has not made any comments to suggest that he would ever leave his wife, and hell, if he did I'd probably be running considering we just met. But perhaps this will give me hope that there is another one like him out there, who I can truly be myself with, who will love me for me, and who is single.

Sorry ... this was supposed to be short, I guess I had to get some stuff off my chest

 

[LustfulOne50]

Does True Love Exist

Does True Love Exist..yeppy and it needs a good bump on a Sunday morning..along with a with few pets and stokes

 

[sirgary]

.....

 

[EnglishRoseFox]

YES!

 

[stickwork]

Usually lasts for about 3 months, or until the ring.

 

[cyikac1986]

Usually lasts for about 3 months, or until the ring.

are you describing love ot unbridled sexual lust?

 

[his_lil_secret]

I've hemmed and hawed over posting my reply, but I figure what the hell, let the chips fall where they may.

I believe true love exists. I believe it with all my heart, but I also know that far to many people willl never find it and therefore deny it's very existence.
Why? Because to many people are selfish when it comes to love. Because so many are looking for this knock you over the head, written for the screen, version of love. They look for this mythical partner who will "accept my flaws"- see never say anything I say, do,eat, wear etc bothers, offends or irritates them. They seek someone who is "compatible"- see allows me to utterly dominate the relationship whether by letting me be the one who calls the shots or calling all the shots for me so I will never have to think for myself. They want someone "romantic"-see someone who spoils me rotten but expects little or no reciprocal spoiling. The list goes on and on and there's-to an extent- nothing wrong with it. Everyone deserves to feel as if they're the most important thing in the world to their partner; I just wish they'd understand there are so many ways that can be shown.

I love my husband, warts and all, but I don't ignore those warts. I have been with the man for 15 years, nearly half our lives. We fight like cats and dogs- and frankly the make up sex isn't all that great- sometimes over the stupidest shit . That man can get under my skin like nobody in the world because that man sees thru all my bullshit and barriers to what I really am underneath and that can be scary sometimes. But that is also- to me- love. I love him enough to let him batter his way through those barriers. He loves me enough to make that effort and not let me get away with hiding behind them.

Love changes. It adapts, grows,matures and accomodates. Love takes work. It demands the patience of a saint, the courage of a lion, and a heart strong enough to take bruising. In return Love will give you that one person who without you even realizing it brings your life full circle. Love is very real which is why you don't find it when you look for a fairy tale.

 

[rhyst_hatchyk]

I've hemmed and hawed over posting my reply, but I figure what the hell, let the chips fall where they may.

I believe true love exists. I believe it with all my heart, but I also know that far to many people willl never find it and therefore deny it's very existence.
Why? Because to many people are selfish when it comes to love. Because so many are looking for this knock you over the head, written for the screen, version of love. They look for this mythical partner who will "accept my flaws"- see never say anything I say, do,eat, wear etc bothers, offends or irritates them. They seek someone who is "compatible"- see allows me to utterly dominate the relationship whether by letting me be the one who calls the shots or calling all the shots for me so I will never have to think for myself. They want someone "romantic"-see someone who spoils me rotten but expects little or no reciprocal spoiling. The list goes on and on and there's-to an extent- nothing wrong with it. Everyone deserves to feel as if they're the most important thing in the world to their partner; I just wish they'd understand there are so many ways that can be shown.

I love my husband, warts and all, but I don't ignore those warts. I have been with the man for 15 years, nearly half our lives. We fight like cats and dogs- and frankly the make up sex isn't all that great- sometimes over the stupidest shit . That man can get under my skin like nobody in the world because that man sees thru all my bullshit and barriers to what I really am underneath and that can be scary sometimes. But that is also- to me- love. I love him enough to let him batter his way through those barriers. He loves me enough to make that effort and not let me get away with hiding behind them.

Love changes. It adapts, grows,matures and accomodates. Love takes work. It demands the patience of a saint, the courage of a lion, and a heart strong enough to take bruising. In return Love will give you that one person who without you even realizing it brings your life full circle. Love is very real which is why you don't find it when you look for a fairy tale.

I quite agree. As you said, "warts and all." Love isn't perfect, and true love never will be, because we are all flawed. People need to find the person who will be there for them any time they need, and will give them space when they need it. Someone willing to learn and love the quirks of their person, but not hide them, but face them. Someone to live life with through all the problems, all the ups and downs. Someone to share everything with.

I once wrote a letter to a newspaper about apathy, and that apathy is the same reason that I can't find someone to love around where I live, and why so many people discount true love, because they simply don't care enough.

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

my thoughts on love could fill a few books
But suffice to say YES True love does indeed exist