Does size really matter?

[graceanne]

If the majority of people prefer taller men, then why would you think we would be any different? Generally, you'll find the ratio's of people in the real world are echoed here.

I didn't see you putting up a fuss in the fat girl thread (whatever it was called) where several men said that they prefer skinny women. (Which, for the record, wasn't my problem with that thread. My problem was people thinking they have the right to point out to fat people that they're fat. Or people assuming that fat people all eat too much and exercise too little.)

I didn't see you putting up a fuss whenever someone says that they prefer blue eyes in a SO, or short hair, or (in bett's case) the tomboy type of girl. I think rosco likes girls with a pixie hair cut? What about all the people who don't have those characteristics?

That's our preference. You have preferences, too, whether you want to admit it. If our preferences aren't you, oh well. I doubt that you'd be in the slightest bit interested in short, fat, boring old me. Believe me, I'm not insulted.

 

[MisterSir]

I didn't see you putting up a fuss in the fat girl thread (whatever it was called) where several men said that they prefer skinny women. (Which, for the record, wasn't my problem with that thread. My problem was people thinking they have the right to point out to fat people that they're fat. Or people assuming that fat people all eat too much and exercise too little.)

No idea who you're addressing here, but I want to point out that the difference between this thread and that is that, try as I might, it's impossible for me to make myself grow; it might be very difficult for some people to lose weight - those with genuine metabolic disorders, for instance - but it's not impossible.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I am 5 feet tall. I do not have preference concerning height BUT most people that I have dated have been at least a few inches taller than myself. Personally I don't like really tall people. It hurts my neck to look up at them and pisses me off. *shrugs*

 

[Shalrath]

If the majority of people prefer taller men, then why would you think we would be any different? Generally, you'll find the ratio's of people in the real world are echoed here.

I didn't say I thought people on here would be different. From very brief impressions so far, people on here seem fairly representative of the general M>F(height) preference I've encountered - apart from a few people hinting they might prefer that for dominating power, rather than for other reasons, which makes sense).

What I am saying is that, if this M>F(height) preference is generally due to genetic / instinctive / animal factors, it is strange, in general (but also specifically within the fetish community), that that preference still persists in a day and age when many genetic / instinctive / animal factors seem to have changed.

For example:

G / I / A preference for straight procreative sex - has changed.
G / I / A preference for homosexual sex being stamped out - has changed (to a degree)
G / I / A preference for M>F(height) - hasn't changed.

OBVIOUSLY I do know this is very simplistic... But it's the general point I find interesting. We as a species have overridden the instinct to purely mate for procreation - very much in evidence on this forum, which is great IMO. We've overridden various other animal instincts relating to, errr, relating. But why - if my assumptions are correct - haven't we overriden the size one??

(Next question: Why should we?? Dunno. Maybe because it could open up more relating possibilities.)

I didn't see you putting up a fuss in the fat girl thread (whatever it was called) where several men said that they prefer skinny women. (Which, for the record, wasn't my problem with that thread. My problem was people thinking they have the right to point out to fat people that they're fat. Or people assuming that fat people all eat too much and exercise too little.)

Didn't see the fat girl thread.

I didn't see you putting up a fuss whenever someone says that they prefer blue eyes in a SO, or short hair, or (in bett's case) the tomboy type of girl. I think rosco likes girls with a pixie hair cut? What about all the people who don't have those characteristics?

Don't think those are preferences that are easily explainable by G / I / A factors in the same way.

Big strong man - animal instinct says "protector, choose him".

Girl with blue eyes - animal instinct says "WOTever".

That's our preference. You have preferences, too, whether you want to admit it. If our preferences aren't you, oh well. I doubt that you'd be in the slightest bit interested in short, fat, boring old me. Believe me, I'm not insulted.

*totally bemused* Not sure what you're on about here. I don't have many preferences, and certainly not height related ones. Maybe that's why I'm not taking this all so personally.

 

[CurlyKat]

Funny to stumble upon this today, since I just had a meeting this morning with a woman who was 4'8", maybe. And since I'm 5'8", and was wearing three-inch heels, the difference was very, very striking. I found myself feeling a little awkward wondering if SHE felt awkward or like she had to prove something or anything else along those lines simply because she was shorter.

Back on topic... if we're talking initial physical attraction, yes, I do tend to like my men taller than me. It's not a requirement, though. The last guy I seriously dated was an inch shorter than me and it didn't bother me one bit. I think it worked because we were still close to the same height, though. I want someone I can be comfortable with, and that I fit together well with. Having similar heights helps with that, I think. Now if I'm ordering my dream man from a catalogue, I think about four inches taller would be perfect. That way there's room for heels. Plus, taller guys make me feel smaller and more feminine and protected. Yeah, that whole evolutionary/genetic deal.

Short of perfection, though, there's way more to attraction (for me, at least) than height. I won't discount someone because of his height.

 

[JMohegan]

No idea who you're addressing here, but I want to point out that the difference between this thread and that is that, try as I might, it's impossible for me to make myself grow; it might be very difficult for some people to lose weight - those with genuine metabolic disorders, for instance - but it's not impossible.

How tall are you, MS?

 

[ecstaticsub]

OK, hands up all of you who thought this was going to be about penis size. I'm talking about height, nothing more, nothing less.

Every so often, I'll pick a big city and look at that city's Craigslist entries for the relationship section (women for men, men for women, erotic services and such and such) because it's actually quite entertaining. Aside from the few entries made by people who are either absolutely nuts or utter liars, it's proven to be rather enlightening because I'm seeing trends in what crops up - you get a lot of "good sense of humour", "good personality" (which is fairly misleading anyway) and "attractive", but "tall" is quite a common request as well and that's what I'm making this topic about.

So tell me, does size matter?

You were looking at Craigslist, that's like an ala carte menu. People list the attributes they would most prefer. In the case of erotic encounters they will list whatever their fantasy person would have.

For me I would put "taller than 5'10", heavier than 185 and Black and bald". That's the look at this moment that totally gets me off.

People have a right to their preferences whether it is PC or not. I know my appearance isn't going to be the preferred look for every guy and it doesn't bother me at all. I prefer someone who prefers my appearence.

 

[graceanne]

No idea who you're addressing here, but I want to point out that the difference between this thread and that is that, try as I might, it's impossible for me to make myself grow; it might be very difficult for some people to lose weight - those with genuine metabolic disorders, for instance - but it's not impossible.

I was addressing generally, actually.

Yeah, and I can't grow (unfortunately). Do I have an issue that some men (normally tall men) prefer tall women? Nope, could care less. I honestly don't really blame them, but then I HATE being short. People are automatically attracted to certain things. Why, no one know really. Depends on the person, most likely, since people will respond differently to the same stimuli. (Can't be blamed on my parents, since my mom, stepdad and dad are all short.)

And, you might notice, that I said that I prefer tall guys, but I'm married to a man who's 5'8". I also have dated, long term, a guy who wasn't all that physically attractive. Personally, I think that attraction can be learned, and if you refuse to date someone because they don't instantly yank your attraction button then you're gonna lose out.

I'm just defending the right to be attracted to a specific type. What type are you attracted to? And don't tell me you aren't, everyone has something. (Not always a physical thing, some people are really attracted to smart people or funny people or assholes. But there's always SOMETHING.)

 

[Netzach]

And once more if you fall off the bell curve it's like you're shouting into the closet.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

And once more if you fall off the bell curve it's like you're shouting into the closet.

*nods* Your response would have matched my response had I been smarter and better able to define all the different types of gender configurations that turn me on..*nods again*

 

[JMohegan]

And once more if you fall off the bell curve it's like you're shouting into the closet.

I don't understand this metaphor.

"Shouting into the closet." What does that mean?

 

[graceanne]

I don't understand this metaphor.

"Shouting into the closet." What does that mean?

Oh, thank God. I've been sitting her trying to figure that one out, and thinking I'm the only one who didn't get it. LOL

 

[00Syd]

And, you might notice, that I said that I prefer tall guys, but I'm married to a man who's 5'8". I also have dated, long term, a guy who wasn't all that physically attractive. Personally, I think that attraction can be learned, and if you refuse to date someone because they don't instantly yank your attraction button then you're gonna lose out.

Oh, I completely agree that attraction can be learned. I dated a guy for over three years who most people probably wouldn't find particularly attractive, and after a while I found myself becoming really attracted to people of his body type. And I also agree that if you don't date someone because you aren't immediately attracted to them your going to miss out.

It's not like I would refuse to date someone who was shorter than me, i just probably wouldn't approach them first (not that I ever approach anyone first because I'm shy). Its very possible that if I got involved with someone my height or shorter I would find myself becoming really attracted to shorter guys.

 

[Netzach]

I don't understand this metaphor.

"Shouting into the closet." What does that mean?

Well, Luna and I and like 2 other people posted "I don't give a shit" and apparently it doesn't count for enough variation. IE: a muffled sound.

I stand eye to eye in medium heels with the one guy who can put me on my knees. I manage to feel quite small, as he's packed large guy muscle onto that frame, but really that's against my usual interests rather than with. I'd generally prefer to go there with someone in a cocktail dress and with long legs.

 

[JMohegan]

Oh, thank God. I've been sitting her trying to figure that one out, and thinking I'm the only one who didn't get it. LOL

I'm thinking it means "you're crazy!" - but in context, I doubt that's what Netzach was trying to say.

It's nice to know I'm not the only one struggling with this one! Usually, when I ask about an unfamiliar metaphor, everyone else in the room seems to have picked it up right away.

 

[JMohegan]

Well, Luna and I and like 2 other people posted "I don't give a shit" and apparently it doesn't count for enough variation. IE: a muffled sound.

Oh! Thank you. "Muffled sound" makes sense.

I noticed that your posts were ignored. The metaphor I was thinking of pertained to the ones doing the ignoring, and it was: glass half empty type of people.

 

[CutieMouse]

Size impacts other people's first impressions.

I'm 5'8" barefoot (I have been since age 10); 6' - 6'1" in heels. Not ridiculously tall for a woman, but tall. I haven't been to a lot of munches/kink events, but at the few I have attended, I had more people assume I leaned to the dominant side of things, than submissive. Apparently tall, serious, high heeled redhead = Domme or something.

I'll flip the question from a het perspective - how many men prefer petite/shorter partners? How many are more likely to get that dominant/protective/whatever feeling with a partner who is more diminutive, rather than one who towers over them?




BTW - the ex-husband was almost an inch shorter than me, and none of the children got my height. My 14 year old son is just now 5' tall and maybe 85# dripping wet... he also has three girls currently vying for his attention 'cause he's just that darned cute.

 

[MisterSir]

How tall are you, MS?

7'19. Protip: If you have kids and they look like they might be shorter than average, do not try to stretch them on a rack.

You were looking at Craigslist, that's like an ala carte menu. People list the attributes they would most prefer. In the case of erotic encounters they will list whatever their fantasy person would have.

Yes, that's the point I was getting at - height seems to be a big thing for people. It's not surprising, I'm just curious why.

People have a right to their preferences whether it is PC or not. I know my appearance isn't going to be the preferred look for every guy and it doesn't bother me at all. I prefer someone who prefers my appearence.

I'm just defending the right to be attracted to a specific type. What type are you attracted to? And don't tell me you aren't, everyone has something. (Not always a physical thing, some people are really attracted to smart people or funny people or assholes. But there's always SOMETHING.)

You seem to be getting the wrong impression, so let me make this clear - I'm not judging people for being predominantly attracted to taller members of the opposite sex, nor am I trying to criticise. That would just be stupid, you can't control who you're attracted to any more than I can. I'm also finding my type is women who being attracted to will cause problems for me. That sentence looks so structurally wrong I want to change it, but I can't find a way to do that. Dammit.

 

[JMohegan]

Size impacts other people's first impressions.

I'm 5'8" barefoot (I have been since age 10); 6' - 6'1" in heels. Not ridiculously tall for a woman, but tall. I haven't been to a lot of munches/kink events, but at the few I have attended, I had more people assume I leaned to the dominant side of things, than submissive. Apparently tall, serious, high heeled redhead = Domme or something.

I'll flip the question from a het perspective - how many men prefer petite/shorter partners? How many are more likely to get that dominant/protective/whatever feeling with a partner who is more diminutive, rather than one who towers over them?

How someone walks in 4 or 5 inch heels, I will never know. Have you ever broken an ankle or tumbled down stairs or something?

As an adult, I've only ever met a couple of women taller than myself. I don't remember thinking of them as attractive or unattractive. Mostly I was just thinking: Holy shit, that woman's tall.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I'd generally prefer to go there with someone in a cocktail dress and with long legs.

Cuz this part was hot...

[/hi-jack]

 

[graceanne]

You seem to be getting the wrong impression, so let me make this clear - I'm not judging people for being predominantly attracted to taller members of the opposite sex, nor am I trying to criticise. That would just be stupid, you can't control who you're attracted to any more than I can. I'm also finding my type is women who being attracted to will cause problems for me.

My apologies, then.

That sentence looks so structurally wrong I want to change it, but I can't find a way to do that. Dammit.

LOL Don't you HATE that? I do it all the time, and it just BUGS me.

 

[JMohegan]

I'm also finding my type is women who being attracted to will cause problems for me. That sentence looks so structurally wrong I want to change it, but I can't find a way to do that. Dammit.

"The... the other important joke, for me, is one that's usually attributed to Groucho Marx; but, I think it appears originally in Freud's 'Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious,' and it goes like this - I'm paraphrasing - um, 'I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member.' That's the key joke of my adult life, in terms of my relationships with women."

- Woody Allen, Annie Hall

 

[00Syd]

. I'm also finding my type is women who being attracted to will cause problems for me. That sentence looks so structurally wrong I want to change it, but I can't find a way to do that. Dammit.

I'm also realizing that the type of woman I'm usually attracted to is the type to cause me problems.

Better?

 

[Corylea]

Hey, CutieMouse. I've also been assumed to be a dominant because I'm a tall woman. That's not so surprising with strangers, but it pisses me off when my friends can't remember that I'm a switch. While I've had a number of tops over the years, I've never had a dominant, because there are very few people who bring out that side of me, and of the three who have, two of them were afraid of me. The last one is someone I met online and have never met in real life, and while he's reportedly tall (though not as tall as before breaking his back), I'm not reacting to that, because I've never laid eyes on him -- I'm reacting to brains and personality. Sadly, he's one of the two who's afraid of me. I sure can pick 'em.

I'm one of the people who talked about dating much shorter men and who apparently shouted into a closet.

My father-in-law is even taller than my husband, and every once in awhile, I find myself on his arm if the whole family is going out to dinner or something. He said to me, "Tall women enjoy being on my arm; it makes them feel dainty." I said, "Jerry, when the hell have I ever given you the impression that dainty is something I'd like to feel?" He was a bit taken aback, but really, it was clear that he was Not Paying Attention.

I think women are socialized and conditioned to be attracted to tall men, and while any individual woman may not be able to change this, if society as a whole were more egalitarian, I think this preference would become far less frequent.

 

[Shalrath]

I think women are socialized and conditioned to be attracted to tall men, and while any individual woman may not be able to change this, if society as a whole were more egalitarian, I think this preference would become far less frequent.

Now THAT is very interesting, and very worthwhile factor to consider throwing into the mix.

Too much conditioning in society in general IMO, especially regards looks, physique, and so-called norms. I doubt anyone's going to argue with that??