does it count if ..... ?

[Guest]

Hi, I was discussing getting a vibrator with my boyfriend the other day and hes against it because he says if I use a vibrator I will lose my virginity to it and then he wont marry me, is that true(not the marrying part)?? If I go ahead and get a vibrator and use it will he know when we do make love? Thanks to all who answer me! Kayt

 

[Easy Boy]

Nah, he's just jealous

I say you're a virgin until a penis enters your vagina. Vibrators, fingers, tampons, dildoes, and vegetables just don't count. Call me old-fashioned, but that's the way I see it.

 

[jdolan69]

Just so you know the dictionary says a virgin is a unmarried woman who is chaste.
Chaste = someone who has not partaken in intercourse.
Last time i heard fucking anything but a person was not intercourse. So to put it bluntly your boyfriend is ignorant, and you should get a vibrator.
Besides most women dont actually put them inside theirselves so there is no way your boyfriend could say your losing your virginity just by rubbing yourself with it.
I say drop the moron.

 

[Rattlesnake1775]

Virginity is not only a physical state, but a mental/emotional feeling. That is how you get people like "born again virgins," who have been sexually active, but now decide that they are virgins again.

So...you might still think of yourself as a virgin, but if he does not, then you can argue that with him until you are blue in the face, he will still think you are not.

It is a matter of personal opinion, not of Webster Dictionary.

 

[Weird Harold]

Hi, I was discussing getting a vibrator with my boyfriend the other day and hes against it because he says if I use a vibrator I will lose my virginity to it and then he wont marry me, is that true(not the marrying part)??

You can break your hymen with a vibrator, but then you can break during an innocent horseback ride, or doing gymnasitics, or using a tampon. If his standard of virginity is an intact hymen, then you'll need to stay in bed wrapped in bubble wrap until the wedding. There are just too many innocent ways of not having an intact hymen on your wedding day for anything else to work. (Including BTW, a verrrrry small percentage of women who are born without one.)

If I go ahead and get a vibrator and use it will he know when we do make love? Thanks to all who answer me! Kayt

Whether he knows or not, YOU will. Do you really want to marry someone, or even enter into a long-term relationship, with that kind of distrust and secrets between you?

 

[Guest]

Thanks everyone I felt kind of silly about this when I posted it but most of you were very nice offering up some valuable points I hadnt considered. Basically the conversation with my boyfriend went something like,"Well why do you want a vibrator dont you want your first time to be with me?" and so I was curious if all men felt this way. I guess he is insecure because he did say to me what if you like it better then me. Hey now that you all have convinced me that vibrators arent off limits to virgins do you all have any ideas for a good first time vibrator?

Kayt

 

[Ticklish Girl]

There are many different kinds of vibrators. Some are desinged solely for clitoral stimulation, such as the wand-type vibrators, while others are meant to be inserted into the vagina. And then there are some that provide a double sensation: they can be inserted, and they also have a vibrating clit tickler. I have one of each of these, and they all provide varying degrees of stimulation. The kind you choose ultimately depends on what kind of sensation you are looking for. For me it was a process of trial and error, until I finally found the kinds of toys that brought me the satisfaction I craved. My first real vibrator was a wand-type of vibrator that concentrated soley on the clit. I've had it for 6 years, and it's never let me down in all that time.

Here is a link to an excellent site that provides sex toys and information:

http://www.goodvibes.com/

I've bought toys and videos online from them many times, and they provide great, discreet service. I'd recommend just browsing the catalog, reading the descriptions and seeing if any item grabs your fancy.

One last thing: whatever you choose, don't expect ecstasy immediately, because your body will need time to adjust to these intense new feelings. (The first time I touched my clit with the vibrator, it was almost painful. It took me a while to get used to it.) Be patient with yourself, relax and have fun.

 

[Rattlesnake1775]

It was painfull ? That would make a believer out of me

 

[pistol pete]

Get the vibrator...close the door..put on some good music...turn-off the lights...& have fun !!! I wouldn't put too much faith in a man(boy) who is threatening...i'm not gonna ...if you do...Enjoy yourself !!!He doesn't have to know everything.

 

[Guest]

Hey Pistol, that sounds great except I like the lights on so I can look at my cute little self, hey now that brings me to an interesting question, Is anyone else here extremely turned on by the sight of themself naked in the mirror or am I just vain?

Thanks Ticklish Girl, one of my girlfriends suggested either vibrating bullets or vibrating eggs, Have you ever tried either of those? they seem more expensive then a vibrator but they are definately less intimidating.

 

[pistol pete]

Mood lights....

Hey Pistol, that sounds great except I like the lights on so I can look at my cute little self, hey now that brings me to an interesting question, Is anyone else here extremely turned on by the sight of themself naked in the mirror or am I just vain?

Thanks Ticklish Girl, one of my girlfriends suggested either vibrating bullets or vibrating eggs, Have you ever tried either of those? they seem more expensive then a vibrator but they are definately less intimidating.

I like a light-on...candle or lava...
have you ever heard of the band Nellie...
that was my reference...they have a fun little bopper
called 'turn-off the lights'...
I think most of us our vain when it comes to our
naked bodies...i look at myself too!!!
you are not alone..........

 

[Guest]

It looks like you've received a lot of good advice and help here. As WH had stated, there are many reason why a hymen can tear. And, if/when it does, that doesn't mean you've lost your virginity at that time. The same goes with using toys and/or fingers. I admire you for wanting to wait on making love until married, if in fact it's your wish. It sounds to me like it's more your boyfriend's wish. If he'd be unwilling to marry you over your desires, then he may not be worth marrying? I went through a similar problem with my ex fiance. He was a rather closed minded person and quite childish actually. At any rate, no you can't lose your virginity from a sex toy....no matter if/when your hymen breaks. Good luck to you.


~Dr Tiggs~

 

[Rattlesnake1775]

I think I'm damn good looking when I'm nude ! But of coures, I'm biased. And I touch myself in the shower...love that lather...

 

[Ticklish Girl]

Hey Pistol, that sounds great except I like the lights on so I can look at my cute little self, hey now that brings me to an interesting question, Is anyone else here extremely turned on by the sight of themself naked in the mirror or am I just vain?

Thanks Ticklish Girl, one of my girlfriends suggested either vibrating bullets or vibrating eggs, Have you ever tried either of those? they seem more expensive then a vibrator but they are definately less intimidating.

I haven't tried either of those toys, but I've heard good things about them. I was in Eve's Garden here in NYC, shopping for sex toys, and the salesgirl showed me a vibrating egg. It looked kind of fun.

 

[Puddles The Wonder Poodle]

http://home.wanadoo.nl/astrila/a/penjack.gif

 

[poetrylady4u]

Try using it on your clit and just inside the lips..they are very sensitive areas and when I use my vibrator I have great luck in those areas!

 

[Guest]

freak

Any guy that would make threats based on your owning a vibrator is a loser. I bought my girlfriend a vibrator, and we've definitely had some good times with it. I say, buy the vibrator, invite him over, and show him how it works. He'll change his mind lickety split.

- mrblonde

 

[Guest]

hey Pistol, sorry Ive never heard of that band you mentioned.



Everybody else thanks alot for all the great feedback I really do appreciate it but I want you all to know my boyfriend is a great caring guy, looking back on our conversation Im not even sure he was serious about what he said. The truth about my virginity is that I choose to wait for my own reasons and none of them are religious, I know my boyfriend has slept with two other girls and that both of them were virgins-dont get the wrong idea though my guy is very cool about my decision hes just not ready for marriage yet.

 

[pistol pete]

Kayt...fools rush-in...

take your time...& get that vibrator...
your man will be pleasantly surprised to
find-out how in tune with your body you are...

good luck with the man...& enjoy Yourself...

 

[pistol pete]

Hey Kayt...do you have any Jewel...or Tracey Chapman
both very passionate...put on some music you dig...
it'll help to take you off to that next level...
also...nobody asked this one...have you been
able to stimulate yourself to orgasm...you may
want to start with your hands before you get
a vibrator...enjoy yourself !!!

 

[Guest]

Hey pistol, funny you should bring that up thats one of the reasons Im curious about a vibrator because I do have orgasms through clitoral stimulation I guess youd say but when my bf inserts his fingers inside me theres nothing it just feels weird and tickles the whole time and Ive heard theres clitoral and vaginal orgasms so I was hoping with a vibrator I could be able to experience both, also Im kinda worried that I might not be able to orgasm by just having sex. No offense but Im not crazy over either of your music choices I like banging music better or maybe just some instrumental stuff.

 

[pistol pete]

no offense taken...like i said...play what you like...
just throwing out some ideas...what do you consider
'banging music'....???
also...don't worry about not getting stimulated by him
or through sex...get to know yourself first...
or together...you gotta communicate...tell him what
feels good...bad...indifferent...otherwise...
he's guessing...unless he is a natural...
i know alot of women who only get-off on oral...
or by being on top...communicate...lot's of
foreplay...if time permits...he's probably alittle
nervous too...take it slow...& enjoy yourself...
catch ya later...

 

[Easy Boy]

You're doing fine, Kayt.

Hi, Kayt. It's perfectly normal for you to have orgasms from playing with your clit, but not when your bf fingers your vagina. Your clit has far more nerve endings, and is really your sexual center. Your bf is naturally interested in your vagina, because he wants to put his cock in it. But if his goal is to bring you to orgasm, he should be paying attention to your clit instead, or also. I don't know who came up with this 'vaginal orgasm' thing. Probably a man obsessed with vaginas, who expected women to get off on contact with his marvelous organ. IHMO, you should forget about trying to have a vaginal orgasm, and teach your bf how to treat your clit, so he can give you an orgasm, period. In my experience, the lips and tongue are more effective than the fingers. Fingers can be nice, but they have to be wet, and gentle.

Huge disclaimer: I have neither a vagina nor a clitoris. But I have extensive experience with both. lol.

Good luck, young virgin.

 

[Guest]

Pistol Pete, I was thinking along the lines of like Aerosmith and Bon Jovi maybe.

Easy boy, thanks I appreciate the input. My boyfriend respects my virginity and is not in any hurry to stick me with his thing and he does give me great clitoral orgasms since Ive showed him how I like it to be touched.

 

[sweetfeet]

Your post reminds me of when I lost my virginity. I was raised in a very strict, Fundamentalist home, and I was raised to believe that the first man you have intercourse with should be the man you marry/have married. Well, I lost my virginity at the age of 16 to an idiot I was dating who was wholely undeserving of me. After the horrible episode was over, we were on the couch and I looked at him as seriously as can be and said,
"You know you have to marry me now."
What a Kodak moment.
Anyway, if you are looking to get off, and have tried using your fingers to no avail (took me a while to get off with just my hands, and it's still not my preferred method), and if you don't have a vibrator just yet, go into the bathroom and position your clit under the running water in the tub(hopefully you have good water pressure). Orgasm guaranteed before the water turns cold!