Does he like me?

[FiestyFeline]

How can I tell if a guy friend is starting to have interest in me as more than a friend? Im very inexperienced in this area and I need some advice... Oh yeah, he's also a virgin and a strong believer in God,... he's not like most guys his age sleeping around with a lot of people. Please help!

 

[Bobmi357]

Feline,
Whats the worst that can happen if you just out and out ask him? He won't bite you, and I doubt he'll get mad at your asking. Worst case is he'll tell you you are misreading his actions and all he wants to be is just friends.

As for his believing in god, well to be honest, unless you immediately offer to give him a blowjob, I doubt thats really an issue. And if it EVER becomes an issue between you, you can remind him that the big guy INVENTED sex, and then told man to love one another. So you're just following one of God's commands.

ps. Religion and sex don't usually mix, but I suspect you're both young, perhaps too young to be on this board, but girls have a unique way of getting a young man to change their minds about waiting. And even if you do decide to wait (which I think is a silly idea, you don't buy a car without driving it, but you'll wait til your married before finding out you and he are sexually incompatible???), the wait won't kill you.

 

[FiestyFeline]

Hmm.. thing is... I've liked him for 4 years now... and all of a sudden he was 'flirting' with me. I'm scared to ask him because once he found out I liked him (about 3.5 yrs ago) and he said he was 'flattered' but didnt see me that way. He and I are now very different people than we were back then, and when we hang out (never alone..grr), he's more open about things. I just got a wierd (good) vibe from him the last time we saw each other. Different from usual. As for the sex thing... I'm not ready to anyway. Oh, and I'm 19, he's 22. Are there any forsure signs he might like me?

 

[FFhotwife]

Just ask him....

I would definately ask him about it. Maybe you could see if he acts the same way the next time and just come out and ask him. Or, you can always flirt back, play the little game and see where that takes you, then ask him. The God thing shouldn't be a problem. At age 19 and 22, you two know what you want. You don't have to jump into bed with him on your first (or even fifth) date. Don't let him being so into God and being a virgin scare you. If you are friends, you know him pretty well and that actually makes for a wonderful relationship. Good luck and please let us know how it goes.

 

[potatohead]

If the two of you never hang out alone then you should try and and do that at some point, tell him that you'd like to spend some time with just him. Go to a movie, watch TV, go to the park, whatever...just try to get him alone and away from the group of friends.

If the guy is as dumb as a rock with this stuff (I usually am, look at my thread) you could always take the direct approach and try to hold his hand or kiss him.

 

[drew62]

Take the chance

It's obvious that he likes you somewhat, afterall youve been hanging out together for years. If you want to take the chance and see what happens, then do it. I had a similar relationship with a girl, in that we hung out and did alot of stuff together, but never really dated. The problem was our age difference. I was 8 years older than her and decided to play the wait until she is a little bit older game. Mainly because I was too spineless to make a move. As a result, she got away and married some first class jerk. I was head over in heals in love with her but never had the nerve to make the move to go beyond just being friends. I was afraid that it would ruin our friendship. Well, we lost touch and havent spoken or written to each other in over 13 years. Yes, I am still very much in love with her and still carry a torch for her. Unfortunately, now I'm in a marriage with someone whom I not really in love with.
Take it from someone who let the "ONE" get away, tell him how you feel and see what happens.

Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.

 

[FiestyFeline]

Thanks to all of you guys. drew... I'm totally head over heels in love with him the way you were with that girl. People often assume that because I'm young, I don't know what love is... I don't think age has to do with it though. I can't imagine myself ever being truly happy with anyone but him. I've had a bf before, but I still wanted him. It's not even sexual. I just want to spend time with him... okay... well, there is a LITTLE bit of sexualness in it... lol. I mean, I wouldn't mind if he kissed me, or carressed me, .... you get the point. Anyway, I want to tell him... but I think I'm gonna see where it goes the next time he and I see each other. I'm gonna flirt a lil bit more... see what happens. I do NOT want to lose his friendship because of my feelings. Also... I often wonder if I'm just too unattractive for him...

 

[potatohead]

Anyway, I want to tell him... but I think I'm gonna see where it goes the next time he and I see each other. I'm gonna flirt a lil bit more... see what happens. I do NOT want to lose his friendship because of my feelings. Also... I often wonder if I'm just too unattractive for him...

Think about this...if you told him a few years ago that you liked him in "that way" and he's still friends you didn't weird him out and there's a chance that the feeling might be somewhat mutual. Love is blind. Personality is first but looks are a very close second. As long as you aren't totally repulsive to him you stand a chance.

Also, this is way more important. Even though you don't want to lose the friendship because of your feelings there's a damn good chance that it might happen anyway. How would you feel if either one of you ends up, especially him, ends up with someone else? If you feel that deeply about him could you handle being friends with him but knowing that he's dating or married to another women and that you'd always want what the other women has?

 

[Succulent-one]

Ok this may sound corny. But you need to show him you are interested.....there are a lot of guys out there that need to be "figuratively" hit over the head with a 2X4 to get their attention! Try to get him alone for a walk to the store or anywhere for that matter....as your walking along...slip your hand into his....if he pulls away....just drop the subject....if he doesn't give him your best academy award winning smile...you got him! If he still his shy at the starting block....have him drop you off at home....lean over a give him a quick light kiss on the lips good night.....he will get the picuture....if he doesn't react in the next couple of days...dang girl I think he is either dead or nervous. At 22 he should know what to do virgin or not. Good luck...Remember always go after your dreams you only live once make it count, even if you get hurt a couple of times along the way!

 

[Meat Whistler]

As others have said, the only way to really know if he's interested is to ask him. If he's a true friend, he won't treat you differently, act odd, etc.

Ask him!

 

[FiestyFeline]

Good points... all of you. I wish I had the guts to do it... Gah! What can I do to work up the courage?

 

[CWatson]

Oh, come on. What have you got to lose?

He's turned you down once already with, evidently, no hard feelings on either side. You two have a friendship, which means a pretty good understanding already. Just bring it up one day. And TELL him you're worried about detriment to the friendship. That might help.

Or, best of all: don't think about it. Just DO it. Stand up, walk over to him before your knees realize you're moving, open your mouth before it has a chance to realize it's being opened, and offer him a blowjob. --Oh, wait. But, no, seriously. If your mind keeps doubting, tell it to shut up and let your heart drive instead. We Westerners and our reliance on brainpower--the heart is about ten times smarter than the brain is, it KNOWS what it's doing when logic and intelligence are still trying to get their bearings. Conversely, though, if your HEART is where your doubts are stemming from, maybe you had better sit back and analyze some more.

 

[lovechild27]

Good grief girl.

ask him. Put all the what if thoughts out of your head...stop over analyzing every little move he makes and every word he says to you and ASK HIM. ASK HIM ASK HIM ASK HIM ASK HIM. Not all the advice in the world we could give you would help you to figure out whats going through his head.

 

[ReadyOne]

Can you get up the courage to act, as oppose to speaking?

Sit down right next to him, touching hips and shoulders.

Come up behind him and start rubbing his shoulders.

Walk next to him and take his hand.

Start giving him good-bye hugs and cling for a bit.

If he sits down on a sofa, go lay your head in his lap. Or sit down and pull his head into your lap. Or nestle under his arm.

Think "I will show that I am accessable and available to him".

Two or three times a day, stop and meditate a minute (center yourself), then make positive statements to yourself like "Xxx wants me to love him" and "Xxx will hold me in his arms" and "Xxx and I will shortly kiss".

 

[sensualteaser]

"Don't let a moment go by with out telling the one you love how you truly feel. You will never know when or if you will ever get that moment back."

I wish you the best in this scenario. I hope things works out for you.

 

[woody54]

Good points... all of you. I wish I had the guts to do it... Gah! What can I do to work up the courage?

Lets face it , men are not that intuitive. Just spell it out in little words or actions, he will catch on.
Of course, he may already be paralysed with fear that you would reject him if he made a move. Damn those social rules.

 

[FiestyFeline]

THank you all. You all bring very good points to this. I think for the time being, I'm just gonna 'flirt'.. if i ever see him! He's moving back in January. Should I get him somthing for Christmas? We've never exchanged gifts before... whatchya think? And if so, what do I get that doesn't scream "I LOVE YOU"? LoL. Why am I so stupid when it comes to this?

 

[capricious_chic]

How to Tell if a Boy Likes You... Some Clues:
*He might start talking loudly in your presence or start treating you as one of the guys. (Yes, this is a weird way to show he likes you, but it's one of the most common and strongest signals!)
*He might also become very shy and mumble when he speaks to you.
*Then again, he could behave like a real Casanova, praising you for no apparent reason and straining hard to hold a sustained intelligent conversation (often ending in him asking for your phone number or for a date)
*If he is acting more flirtatious toward you than toward other people at the same event
*If his friends are paying attention to you when he isn't around (often a clue that this guy talked to his or her friends about you).
*If he always seems to be around (especially if you get the "instinct" that he's there because of you)
*If he is smiling while listening to you, and seems to be listening especially "actively"
*If he seems to look into your eyes a little longer than normally.
*If he remembers stuff you said before and brings it up again (asking questions about something you mentioned in the past ) - shows he's interested in you

Testing Your Suspicions:
If you think a guy likes you (trust your gut instinct, girls) but you can't be totally sure, try this: Give him your best smile. If he smiles back, or his face suddenly lights up, tah dah! He likes you. If he starts sweating and looks all flustered, he likes you even more. If his smile is the polite kind, or if he frowns or looks away, that's a bad sign that maybe he isn't interested in you after all.



HOW TO TELL IF A GUY LIKES A GIRL:

1. the guy will be nice to you.

2. he will tell you that you did good, even if you did horrible.

3. he might make fun of you.

4. he'll want to be your friend.

5. he might compliment you on your hair, even if you wear it that
way everyday.

6. he'll stick up for you.

7. he will start hanging out with your friends.

8. he'll flirt with you.

9. he'll call you for no good reason.

10. he'll make eye contact with a happy grin on his face.


And on it goes. Regardless of the signs he displays, or doesn't display - you simply wont know for sure unless you ask him. Sounds like he is a good friend. Since it has come up in the past and he didn't freak out, odds are he wont this time either. He will either confirm your suspicions or let you know that he doesn't feel the same way. If you have never exchanged gifts before, why would you now? It may put him in an awkward spot of not having gotten you anything.