Does anyone have information...

[Halp_pls]

First off, I will admit, I'm an alt. I just didn't feel comfortable posting this under my regular user name since I've been here for years and I have my share of enemies who would love to harass me with this question.

Since I had my first orgasm at 14 I've had a problem. Today, after reading a thread here and following links (thanks SE!), I found out it has a name: coital incontinence. Apparently there are two kinds. One happens upon penetration, and one happened only during orgasm. Mine only happens during orgasm.

However, that was the extent of the information I could find on the subject. I googled it and found a bunch of links to what looked like the cover sheet of several different medical studies. There wasn't a lot of information there, and most of it was medical jargon. One thing I read asked if it was related to pelvic floor incontinence, due to child birth. The question was never answered, but while I have had 4 kids, I had this problem way before I gave birth.

Does anyone here know anything about it? Any links I could read to learn more, and perhaps find out how to stop it?

Equally important, does anyone else experience this? I have felt alone in this for 16 years and I must admit, I feel better just knowing there is a name for it!

 

[SweetErika]

I don't really know anything about this specific topic, but I think you should go see a female urologist/urogynecologist. There are all sorts of treatments for the various types of incontinence available. So you might as well get some real expert advice and see which treatment(s) may be right for your specific situation after you've done your basic research and crafted a plan for your appointment.

Other than that, have you been doing kegels/pelvic floor exercises? If so, do you feel like you've maxed out on those and are still left with the incontinence? I'd imagine that, like physical therapy for an injury or strength problem, exercises (and perhaps physiotherapy specifically for incontinence) would be the first thing your doctor would want to try.

Also, it looks like this is a type of stress incontinence. Using that term to search that may help you find more info on causes and treatments. Have you looked at these results and those from similar searches already, too?

I do know that some women just have weaker anatomical features that cause stress incontinence (especially after giving birth), regardless of how strong their PC muscles are. My mom is one of them, and her urologist said this problem is especially common in women of Northern European descent. You may be, too, since you've basically always had this.

IIRC, when the kegels didn't work, my mom had one surgery that failed because it wasn't the right type of fix for her anatomy, collagen (or some other kind of) injections, and finally a second (different type of) surgery that was very successful. She wishes she had done more research and gotten more opinions prior to the first surgery, and hadn't waited so long (16+ years) to get it taken care of. At any rate, I'll certainly see a good female urologist right away if I end up with stress incontinence in spite of years of kegels. I don't feel like there's any reason to suffer when there are really effective treatments available.

I'm not sure how much that helps, but hope everything goes very well for you and you'll let us know what you find out, decide to try, etc. I bet sharing your experiences will end up helping A LOT of women!

 

[Halp_pls]

Thank you, SE. I knew I could count on you!

I just have one quick question: When you say "female urologist," do you mean a urologist who is female, or is there a urologist that specializes in women?

And just for the record, one of the reasons this bothered me so much is that, while it may be a form of stress incontinence, it started at 14, years before I had kids, or even had sex. It's obviously a problem that I was born with, not one caused by damage to my body.

 

[harrlequin]

Thank you, SE. I knew I could count on you!

I just have one quick question: When you say "female urologist," do you mean a urologist who is female, or is there a urologist that specializes in women?

And just for the record, one of the reasons this bothered me so much is that, while it may be a form of stress incontinence, it started at 14, years before I had kids, or even had sex. It's obviously a problem that I was born with, not one caused by damage to my body.

it does sound like stress incontinence, and yes, you can be born that way.

I had it myself, mine brought on by kids and a basic weakness that was always there.

I just had a sling inserted under the urethra - newfangled tech, but a relatively quick and small surgury.

I am delighted with the results and like others, sorry I waited so long.

Incidentally, I was treated by a gynecologist and a urologist working in tandem.

 

[SweetErika]

Thank you, SE. I knew I could count on you!

I just have one quick question: When you say "female urologist," do you mean a urologist who is female, or is there a urologist that specializes in women?

And just for the record, one of the reasons this bothered me so much is that, while it may be a form of stress incontinence, it started at 14, years before I had kids, or even had sex. It's obviously a problem that I was born with, not one caused by damage to my body.

You're welcome!

Yes, a urologist who specializes in treating women, or urogynecologist, not specifically a urologist who is female.

It does sound like an underlying anatomical defect. Having kids probably didn't help matters any, but the result of stress incontinence is still the same.

 

[human_male]

I think it's also knows as female orgasmic incontinence. That might help finding more information.

 

[Halp_pls]

You're welcome!

Yes, a urologist who specializes in treating women, or gynecologist, not specifically a urologist who is female.

It does sound like an underlying anatomical defect. Having kids probably didn't help matters any, but the result of stress incontinence is still the same.

Damn...I only have limited insurance, and I can only receive treatment at the local county hospital. I looked and they have neither a gynecologist, nor a female urologist on staff. Hell, they don't even have a female gynecologist! Stupid insurance!

I'm just sick of this affecting my sex life. I've only had a handful of orgasms from sex in my life and I think it has to do with a mental fear that this will happen and my partner will be disgusted. Even when I have an orgasm from other stimulation with my partner, I stop before the peak of my orgasm to make sure it doesn't happen. It's frustrating.

 

[Halp_pls]

I think it's also knows as female orgasmic incontinence. That might help finding more information.

Thank you!

 

[NippleMuncher]

Damn...I only have limited insurance, and I can only receive treatment at the local county hospital.

I would consult with private practitioners and get a phone "estimate" for them to do an exam and what all that entails. This estimate will allow you to budget the funds to consult with the specialized professional that you should be seeing. From there you can discuss treatment options and costs. In conjunction with this, don't discount the good old barter system. I've known a great many folks who have had major surgery (last person I knew had a hysterectomy ) and only paid for half of the procedure and traded work/expertise for the remainder. Barter only works with the people in the O.R., you'd still have to pay any expenses from hospital. Just an idea to get you on the road to a happier, healthier life.

Good luck, and keep us posted on your progress.

 

[SweetErika]

Damn...I only have limited insurance, and I can only receive treatment at the local county hospital. I looked and they have neither a gynecologist, nor a female urologist on staff. Hell, they don't even have a female gynecologist! Stupid insurance!

I'm just sick of this affecting my sex life. I've only had a handful of orgasms from sex in my life and I think it has to do with a mental fear that this will happen and my partner will be disgusted. Even when I have an orgasm from other stimulation with my partner, I stop before the peak of my orgasm to make sure it doesn't happen. It's frustrating.

I'd still do some checking to see who might deal with incontinence issues at the hospital. Talk to that doctor and see if they have any ideas for getting treated with your insurance & financial situation. You never know, they might be able to call in specialists or pull other strings in some instances. And maybe someone is qualified to do less involved treatments, such as injections or pelvic floor physiotherapy, that might help you some.

Is there any way you could get better insurance for like 12-18 months to get this taken care of? For instance, if your current insurance is through your employer, perhaps they'd be willing to put the amount they pay for it into a different plan, with you covering the balance (my husband's company does this for us).

 

[Halp_pls]

I would consult with private practitioners and get a phone "estimate" for them to do an exam and what all that entails. This estimate will allow you to budget the funds to consult with the specialized professional that you should be seeing. From there you can discuss treatment options and costs. In conjunction with this, don't discount the good old barter system. I've known a great many folks who have had major surgery (last person I knew had a hysterectomy ) and only paid for half of the procedure and traded work/expertise for the remainder. Barter only works with the people in the O.R., you'd still have to pay any expenses from hospital. Just an idea to get you on the road to a happier, healthier life.

Good luck, and keep us posted on your progress.

Thank you. That is a great idea. I will look into it, but I don't have much hope. I lost my job a while back and I make $200 a month less than I need to survive right now. I've been able to keep my head above water by the grace of God and help from those who love me, but there is little hope of saving up any money. I will talk to them about the barter thing. I do have some office skills; perhaps they need some filing done!

 

[Halp_pls]

I'd still do some checking to see who might deal with incontinence issues at the hospital. Talk to that doctor and see if they have any ideas for getting treated with your insurance & financial situation. You never know, they might be able to call in specialists or pull other strings in some instances. And maybe someone is qualified to do less involved treatments, such as injections or pelvic floor physiotherapy, that might help you some.

Is there any way you could get better insurance for like 12-18 months to get this taken care of? For instance, if your current insurance is through your employer, perhaps they'd be willing to put the amount they pay for it into a different plan, with you covering the balance (my husband's company does this for us).

I will call on Monday and find out which doctor I should see to deal with female incontinence. I'm sure someone can point me in the right direction.

As far as getting better insurance: I live in Iowa and I have what's called Iowa Care. I do not qualify for Medicaid, because for my family of 4, I have to bring in less than $426 a month for me to qualify. My children qualify, but I don't. I bring in $225 too much. So my only option is Iowa Care. With Iowa Care I can only seek treatment for anything at the county hospital, or, if they can't handle it, they will send me to Iowa City, 2 hours from my home. I also have no prescription coverage with this insurance. I have been able to get my 2 daily medicines by applying for them directly though the drug companies' assistance programs.

So short of marrying a man with good insurance, I'm out of luck. Although my boyfriend says all I have to do is give him the word and he'll marry me tomorrow, I would never rush into that level of commitment solely for insurance.

I really appreciate your continued efforts to point me in the direction I need to go. You are a wonderful asset to this board and your selfless efforts to help others is refreshing after all the time I have spent on the GB!

 

[SweetErika]

So my only option is Iowa Care. With Iowa Care I can only seek treatment for anything at the county hospital, or, if they can't handle it, they will send me to Iowa City, 2 hours from my home.

That's pretty good news. You'd have to do some driving, but at least seeing a specialist is in the realm of possibility.

In the meantime, start hoping Obama & Co. get universal health care passed. And maybe they'll raise the poverty line before that. $426 a month for a family of 4?! Ridiculous.

 

[flyrv9]

Been a while since I've posted, but this thread seemed interesting. I've read some about this topic and seen it discussed on TV programs.

Posters above have already listed exercises to help. Also a trip to the bathroom just prior to having sex may also help or lesson the amount of fluid expelled during orgasm.

How does your boyfriend feel about this issue? If he doesn't have a problem with it you could just use a rubber sheet and go for it; until your financial position improves to where you can have a Dr. help.

 

[Halp_pls]

That's pretty good news. You'd have to do some driving, but at least seeing a specialist is in the realm of possibility.

In the meantime, start hoping Obama & Co. get universal health care passed. And maybe they'll raise the poverty line before that. $426 a month for a family of 4?! Ridiculous.

Yes, I guess there is hope!

I was blown away when I found out the new income limit for Medicaid. I have several ongoing medical problems and was very upset when I had to stop seeing the doctors that I have been seeing for 6 years and built up a rapport with.

 

[Halp_pls]

Been a while since I've posted, but this thread seemed interesting. I've read some about this topic and seen it discussed on TV programs.

Posters above have already listed exercises to help. Also a trip to the bathroom just prior to having sex may also help or lesson the amount of fluid expelled during orgasm.

How does your boyfriend feel about this issue? If he doesn't have a problem with it you could just use a rubber sheet and go for it; until your financial position improves to where you can have a Dr. help.

Wow! You've seen it on TV shows? I have never heard a single person mention this! Like I said, I thought I was completely alone.

I do go to the bathroom right before sex or masturbation, simply because it makes the act more comfortable for me. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to stop it, just lessen the "output." And the longer the "session" goes, the more that comes out. The few times that it has happened with my boyfriend, the amount was small enough that I was able to make him think I just squirted from a great orgasm.

My boyfriend didn't know about it until today. I hoped to get it fixed without him ever knowing. He has expressed his complete non-interest in anything like golden showers (not that I'm turned on by it either!), so I thought he would be grossed out if he found out. Today, while I was posting on here, he looked over my shoulder. I turned the computer away from him because I didn't want him to know, but since I have NEVER hid anything on Lit from him, he immediately knew something was up. I tried to avoid the subject, but we have a very honest relationship and he was very upset by my sudden unwillingness to tell him something. So, eventually, I just went to my OP, handed him the computer, and went outside to smoke. He came out a few minutes later and asked me what "incontinence" was. I rolled my eyes at him and told him to look it up. He came out again and asked me why I hadn't talked to him about it. I told him I had never told anyone about it and that I was just embarrassed about it. He said he was fine with it, and we dropped the subject. I would like to have a more in-depth conversation with him later, but for now, I'm just relieved that he knows and is ok with it.

 

[Adakgirl]

Damn girl, if your bf wants to marry you and loves you enough to be willing to take on the responsibility of you as well as your family of four to be a father to your children, to care for, love and support all of you...then he sounds like one hell of a good man to me. Those kind of men are few and far between. If you love him and you enjoy the kind open honest relationship you describe here...then what the hell's the matter with you? Marry him.

Go ahead and slam away at me for saying it but that is my honest open advice.

 

[Halp_pls]

Damn girl, if your bf wants to marry you and loves you enough to be willing to take on the responsibility of you as well as your family of four to be a father to your children, to care for, love and support all of you...then he sounds like one hell of a good man to me. Those kind of men are few and far between. If you love him and you enjoy the kind open honest relationship you describe here...then what the hell's the matter with you? Marry him.

Go ahead and slam away at me for saying it but that is my honest open advice.

No, no slamming. Logically, I do agree with you. We have a really great relationship: we love each other, we make each other happy, we have the most honest and open relationship I have ever been in, and he cooks and does housework!

HOWEVER...I have been married and divorced twice before. I am a little commitment shy when it comes to marriage. Plus, due to past relationships, I have trust issues that I am working on. I want to make sure when I get married again, it will last. We have known each other for a year, and been living together for 6 months. I dated my previous ex-husbands for 3 years each before I married them and it still ended in divorce.

In all honesty, he and I are sorta engaged. I have agreed to marry him next Feb., but since we haven't been able to afford a ring, he hasn't officially asked me yet. I just refuse to rush into marriage again unless I'm ABSOLUTELY sure. Hell, even then I'll still be scared. I was absolutely sure with my second husband, and he left me a year and a half later.

My medical problems are not so dire that I feel the need to set aside my deep-seeded fears about marriage and rush into something I know I'm not ready for. He loves me, and he says that he will wait however long it takes for me to be ready. He says as long as he has me, and we are together, he can wait. If I change my mind about Feb., we'll set a new date.