Does anybody feel uncomfotable with cheating?

[Karmic]

Yes I'm 19, yes I'm naive.
But
Does anybody else feel uncomfotable with cheating? with knowing people who cheat, It always makes me squirm, eg. I have a co-worker, she has a long term b/f, she also fucks his two brothers, and basicly anybody she meets while drunk or high, and shes a great girl (27) but something about that botheres me, and the thing is the guy dosent know a thing and would never cheat on her. After talking with that about her, I felt a stone sit in my stomach, I felt personaly really bad. I always think about the times I've been cheated on andlied to and .... eh. Does anybody else get this feeling?

 

[Wiggles]

Yep. But I don't worry about other people who cheat. Unless it personally involves me.

 

[WickedEve]

Karmic, keep this attitude and take it with you into your own relationships, and you'll do fine.

 

[kashmir]

Well…personally, I don’t think about what other’s are doing with their own bodies on their own time.

But I’m thinking since you know exactly how it feels to be cheated on and lied to, maybe you feel an amazing amount of empathy towards the person who is up for some hurt when they find out they have been deceived.

In the long run..we are only responsible for ourselves and accountable our own actions.
You can’t change her ways; but you can remove yourself from something that makes you uncomfortable.

It’s simply not our job to judge others, though.

That’s instant karma’s job and she does it very well.

 

[Mz_Scarlett]

I absolutely agree- cheating is not okay. Having been someone has has BEEN cheated upon, I have a more personal feeling about it. And I have friends who will get involved with men who are already in relationships or have cheated on their partners. I don't like what they are doing, but it isn't my place to judge them.
I also don't support it- and they know it.

It is your right to tell your friend you would rather not hear about her exploits if it makes you uncomfortable.

Take care of you

 

[RisiaSkye]

Personally, I don't cheat. Even before I was married, I was with (one glaring exception) always faithful to my partner, and expected the same from whoever I was with. It's not about insecurity or possessiveness, it's about intimacy and respect.
I learned this lesson the hard way, and I never want to be the betrayer, knowing how it feels to be on the other side.

The one and only time that I did cheat, it was after I literally *caught* my bf cheating. I was an emotional mess, and ended up drinking vodka and crying on the shoulder of close friends--and I ended up cheating. It was a huge mistake...I felt like I used my friends for revenge on my evil bf, one of my friends was irritated that I didn't want to jump into a relationship with him, and my romantic/sexual life ended up even more confusing and complicated than it already was.

My husband cheated on me once, nearly 8 years ago, when we had been dating for only a few months. I *knew* something was wrong, I could sense it in everything about his behavior. After doing some discrete information gathering, I was pretty sure...and tremendously hurt. I started pulling away from him, and didn't explain why. I didn't feel I owed him an explanation. When he finally realized that he was about to lose what we had going, he confessed the whole story. In the end, I took him back, and made the conscious decision to do so. It took years, though, before I really trusted him again.

And if I *ever* caught him again, he'd be history. And he might leave with a size 10 bootprint on his ass. One hormone-driven teenage bad decision I can forgive; betrayal of our marriage vows would be unforgivable to me.

With other people, though, I try very hard to reserve judgement. It's not my life, not my relationship, and not my choice. It is also not my place to sit in judgement; I'm not qualified and really not interested.

RS

 

[patient1]

Cheating.

Yeah, I don't feel right about cheating.

We may all be perverts here, But usually we're kind, honest ones.

 

[Starfish]

Most people don't realize that, not only are they are making a fool of themself, but they are alienating the person they are talking to, when they are going on about that sort of thing to other people. It is their business, and keeping it just that saves others of ill feelings, and loss of respect for the person who is a cheater.

 

[iceprincess]

 

[SGTBIGDOG420]

I dont belive cheating is right or ok but I have done it and will probly do it again. I cant really say why I just like the forbiddin I guess. when I was single I dated only maried women and as soon as they started talking about leaving the husband I was gone. I have been cheated on and didnt like it but I have allways said if I cant satisfy who I'm with somone will and if you cant satisfy who you have I will. men are as a species not monogamous we are designed to propigate the species but at the same time we have morals that make us feel bad about it. so I dont know the answer is cheating right or wrong but I can say it is somthing not to be talked about.

 

[Ragingbull]

Well I've had it done to me and I've done it. Feels like shit both ways. If you can't be honest get the fuck out. You don't belong in a relationship. This stuff here, on the other hand, is just another erotic way to get stimulated before (or while) you masturbate. Or just to have a little fun even if you don't diddle yourself. It isn't cheating in my book.

 

[iceprincess]

 

[Ragingbull]

Hey, iceprincess, that's okay in my book. It's the honesty thing that counts. Shit, I'd go for a relationship where my partner and I had open sex... I think. I guess there would have to be some rules. Maybe while the other was watching. Maybe when we both were involved. Shoot, I'm getting excited just thinking about it.

 

[iceprincess]

 

[theFlash]

hey

Well i once was the other guy for a one nighter..Her man cheated on her and she wasnted to get back at him....so i obliged. Now thati found out i was cheated on..i feel like such an ass for doing that to another man..i cant believe i could have caused so much pain to someone else..

 

[TigerClaw]

.....

.....

 

[Debbie]

I don't cheat. Nor will I.
I don't judge others who do.

 

[Black_Bird]

Cheating and Mind Games.

Yep - I hate them both. If you are going to fuck someone else, please don't call afterwards, and have a nice life. If you aren't going to do what you say or mean what you say, please don't waste my time, the door is through the hall and to the left.

My co-worker tells me that I can't get a date 'cause I've got no "game". If I have to play games to get a girl, I'll just wait awhile longer. It isn't worth it.

 

[sch00lteacher]

I am not concerned about adults who cheat. Unless it is my wife...

However.

If I catch you cheating in the classroom I will fall upon you like a ton of bricks. You don't cheat in my classroom, and get caught.

 

[Karmic]

I would never judge or comment about somone else comments, I just kinda feel guilty for them....

Ice princess? I dont classify it as cheating if like from the start you say : I will never be monogomus to you. (gee, guys really cant even spell it can they?)

 

[SweetBrat73]

Re: Cheating and Mind Games.

Yep - I hate them both. If you are going to fuck someone else, please don't call afterwards, and have a nice life. If you aren't going to do what you say or mean what you say, please don't waste my time, the door is through the hall and to the left.

I have to agree with that.

Personally I don't want to be around ppl that I know are cheating either. I've never cheated. I never would. You talk to the person and you either get out of that relationship or start having an open relationship. I don't believe anyone can be "trapped in horribly unsatisfing reationships". Why would you not be able to leave? I've know women (and a few men) who were scared to leave because of violent threats made to their lives or the lives of their children...but there is help out there and eventually you can get out if you want out. Just takes time. And you don't cheat on somebody like that either. If they think you're going to leave them and have fits they sure won't think nothing of killing a lover you've taken...I know this wasn't mentioned...I just wanted to add it cause that's the only kind of relationship I could think of that you could be trapped in...and that's only for a while...

Ok I'm rambling again...

later
Brat

 

[Tungwagger]

I've stated the fact that my wife and I are swingers....(why that is the label, I don't understand) in previous posts...

As such, even though I have her permission to play at our favorite swing club, I still feel compelled to ask her permission each time a sexual situation arises...

Therefore, I do have quite a conundrum...

But I do feel that cheating is wrong....I guess that's another label that carries alot of different ramifications...Cheating in this thread is being secretive about an affair... Why is someone secretive? Because they know that their actions would hurt someone should they find out.

While my wife and I don't have an idyllic, Hollywood scripted "open" relationship, we tend to be a bit more liberated than the average couple. And as "swingers", we have developed a deeper love with each other free from the green eyed monster called "jealousy".....Besides...it's really a turn on to relate our experiences during sex.....Hehe.....

 

[Black_Bird]

I would never judge or comment about somone else comments, I just kinda feel guilty for them....

Ice princess? I dont classify it as cheating if like from the start you say : I will never be monogomus to you. (gee, guys really cant even spell it can they?)

BINGO!

If someone is going to sleep around, make it clear from the begining so that other person knows *not to* become emotionally attached. If that person can't handle an open relationship, then perhaps they shouldn't seek a relationship with that person.

Also - it is important to say this at the *begining* of a relationship, because, although it is easy to move from an open relationship to an exclusive relationship, it is almost impossible to move from an exclusive relationship to an open relationship, especially when emotions have already become strong.

 

[Countess DeWinter]

Re: Cheating.

We may all be perverts here, But usually we're kind, honest ones.

That's so profound and by and large, true.

Cheating makes me uncomfortable. Doing it. Having it done to me. Knowing someone who's being cheated on or knowing someone who's cheating.

It makes me very sad.