Does an erotic writer know shit?

[entitled]

yeah, and I wouldn't bother to ask either
But.. that's because, of course, I know what a bad little girl you are....

Of course. But you wouldn't have me any other way.

 

[Liar]

I can usually find the eroticism in any sort of encounter or fetish. Even if it turns me off, I understand why it turns some people on. (Strangely, incest is the one perversion that I can't feel anything good for. Incest seems anti-erotic to me.) I'll bet I could even help Og with his hairy armpit story if he needed it. (I can see the sweat droplets gilstening in her hair even now.)

On the other hand, I'm not interested in gratuitous perversity, or playing "kinkier than thou" for the sake of trying to appear naughty. Pay me, and I'll be your literary whore, but on my own I'll stay in those waters I like best.

Been thinking about this.

The whole "kinkier than thou" seems so utterly ridiculous to me. There's a strange concept that I have heard expressed now and then, here on Lit and in other places, that more kinky equals more eroric. And as a result of that, that people who have (and write) vanilla sex do so because they are repressed, have a mediocre sexuality, a smaller libido, lack of sexual imagination, and so on.

It is, of course, bullshit. But rather wide spread bullshit. (Just like those unfamiliar with fetishes, SM and so on often believes it comes with less sexual ethics, that sexual deviance equals moral deviance.) There is no erotic axis on which you can place kinks and rate them. Just like you can't say that Beethoven is more emotional than Beatles.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Thank you, LadyJeanne, for the explanation about South Indian women. Much of the Indian pictorial erotica I have found seems to be based around 'Aunties' who don't look old enough to be Aunts.

I suppose a 'young' aunty might be the first available female that an Indian male has a physical desire for.

Og

You're quite welcome! Indian women marry young and have kids pretty early into the marriage, so if aunty is mom's younger sister, she'd probably be quite desirable to a boy in puberty.

 

[Liar]

Thank you, LadyJeanne, for the explanation about South Indian women. Much of the Indian pictorial erotica I have found seems to be based around 'Aunties' who don't look old enough to be Aunts.

Don't know how old an aunt would have to be to qualify for aunthood for you, but my lady has an uncle who is younger than she is, so anything is possible.

 

[zeb1094]

Don't know how old an aunt would have to be to qualify for aunthood for you, but my lady has an uncle who is younger than she is, so anything is possible.

I have an aunt, well half-aunt, who is only one year older than I. She is my fathers half-sister, his father divorced and remarried. Had another child by his new wife some twenty years after my father was born.

 

[Casey's Pen]

Hmm...what is the old say? Write what you know?

If you do not have at least a passing interest in a fetish, how can you successfully portray it as an erotic experience?

 

[oggbashan]

Hmm...what is the old say? Write what you know?

If you do not have at least a passing interest in a fetish, how can you successfully portray it as an erotic experience?

The best way is by hard work. The subject needs to be researched. The easy way for fetish is to look at the top rated stories that cover that fetish, read the PCs, and evaluate what seems to work.

Research is the key to writing about any subject. Until you know the field and can distill what is relevant from what is not, then writing about it would be difficult. A competent writer ought to be able to write about anything given sufficient time and materials to develop a feel for the matter.

I think a better saying is 'Know what you write'. If you don't know, find out before writing. That is why so much of the interaction in Literotica as a whole and here in the Author's Hangout is seeking information. Among the people on all the boards there is a wide and varied knowledge. Those who can direct you to appropriate sources are particularly valuable.

What I have said is of course relevant to any writing, not just writing about sexual fetishes. Many professional writers working in the UK on magazine articles cover a wide range of subjects, pinch-hitting for each other as required. So what if your expertise and interest is motorcycles? You could still write an account of a horticultural show because you are a WRITER.

Og

 

[Rhys]

Do we writers know enough about fetish as writers or do we stay, as authors, in a realm of our somewhat vanilla or cultural experience, and never venture forth beyond traditional BDSM and fetish?

Well, speaking of knowing shit...if you are writing about anal, you'd better.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Well, speaking of knowing shit...if you are writing about anal, you'd better.

ahem *snicker*

 

[mcopado]

Well, speaking of knowing shit...if you are writing about anal, you'd better.

Funny you should say that......I have a dilemma, although my sex life is far from vanilla, erm, due to a size issue, I've never actually performed anal...I am stuck in a scene in my latest story where the main character is anally penetrating his secretary...I'm having a challenge describing the sensation he's feeling...it is the final scene in what I think will be good story...I've stared at the bloody screen for the last 3 days...any "input" would be appreciated. (Bad pun intended!)

 

[woodnymph_O]

Funny you should say that......I have a dilemma, although my sex life is far from vanilla, erm, due to a size issue, I've never actually performed anal...I am stuck in a scene in my latest story where the main character is anally penetrating his secretary...I'm having a challenge describing the sensation he's feeling...it is the final scene in what I think will be good story...I've stared at the bloody screen for the last 3 days...any "input" would be appreciated. (Bad pun intended!)

Can't help you from that side of it. All I know is the So's eyes roll back in his head,lol.I't a stretch for me to try to descibe the sensation from a male point of view. Might I suggest a little self exploration, and research on the biology of the whole thing.
before i decided to do anything anal (nerd that I am) I researched and found a few how to articles, why hurt yourself and dissapoint you lover by gropeing about in the dark?
Nymphy

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Funny you should say that......I have a dilemma, although my sex life is far from vanilla, erm, due to a size issue, I've never actually performed anal...I am stuck in a scene in my latest story where the main character is anally penetrating his secretary...I'm having a challenge describing the sensation he's feeling...it is the final scene in what I think will be good story...I've stared at the bloody screen for the last 3 days...any "input" would be appreciated. (Bad pun intended!)

When you get down to it, I don't think I was ever surprised by anything in sex. I never had occasion to think, "Wow! This feels a lot different than I imagined!" Everything felt pretty much as I'd thought it would, only better for being real.

I wrote a lot of BDSM before I ever had a real experience, and looking back on it now, I probaby wouldn't change much of what I've written. I got the actions and sensations pretty much right. It was more intense and exciting than I'd thought it would be, but that's true of all live sex versus imagined, isn't it?

And given the choice between portraying realistic sex versus idealized, I think we'd all opt for the idealized. That's what porn is, isn't it? Sexual propaganda? We write it not the way it is, but the way we'd like it to be. Or am I the only one here who can't fill a quart bottle with come from 20 feet away through my 14" penis? (Don't tell me if I am.)

 

[dr_mabeuse]

What makes kink kinky?

Aside from whatever personal interest we might have in the fetish at hand, it's the transgressive nature, isn't it? The extremes people are willing to go to to satisfy their sexual desires. I might not be aroused by the thought of having someone step on my balls with a spiked heel, but I think I can understand what someone else finds exciting about it.

I don't have much interest in the Adult Baby fetish. It pretty much turns me off. Yet I think I could write a story about it. I think I could understand what some people find appealing--the helplessness and humiliation of being treated as an infant; the perversity of the "baby's" sexuality.

So I don't think you have to be experienced in a fetish to write about it. You just need a good imagination and the ability to project.

 

[Purple Sage]

I know I'm new here, but I want to say that writing pornography in the first place is really a push for me.
It's even more of a push because the first thing I'm writing is BDSM.
I'm not interested in it.
I don't have any experience in it.
But I'm getting help. I was told to put myself in the place the character is being stuck into and that it would be good enough.
I just hope it's right.

This arouses my curiousity- in a general sense. Your post is just the most explicit example, so I'm picking on you- if this is a 'push' for you, why exactly are you doing it? Therapy? Deathbed request of a beloved grandmother? To win a bet? And why BDSM in particular?

 

[Purple Sage]

I've often thought that persuading women that having body hair was unnatural and revolting was one of the greatest marketing coups ever pulled off. I'm curious; does anyone have a date/place/culture where that idea first began?

Not per se, but I think it has something to do with fetishizing youth. Whereas many traditional cultures value the look of child-bearing maturity, or the appearance of health in the 'has had plenty to eat' sense, contemporary Western culture has fixated more on the appearance of youth. Lack of body hair is generally indicative of youth. Culturally, sex is detached from procreation and this is reflected in changing body images.

 

[Purple Sage]

Funny you should say that......I have a dilemma, although my sex life is far from vanilla, erm, due to a size issue, I've never actually performed anal...I am stuck in a scene in my latest story where the main character is anally penetrating his secretary...I'm having a challenge describing the sensation he's feeling...it is the final scene in what I think will be good story...I've stared at the bloody screen for the last 3 days...any "input" would be appreciated. (Bad pun intended!)

If John Holmes could do it (and he did), you can. Failing that, there's tons of pre-researched porn around.

 

[Purple Sage]

Or am I the only one here who can't fill a quart bottle with come from 20 feet away through my 14" penis? (Don't tell me if I am.)

No comment.

 

[Purple Sage]

What makes kink kinky?

Aside from whatever personal interest we might have in the fetish at hand, it's the transgressive nature, isn't it? The extremes people are willing to go to to satisfy their sexual desires. I might not be aroused by the thought of having someone step on my balls with a spiked heel, but I think I can understand what someone else finds exciting about it.

I don't have much interest in the Adult Baby fetish. It pretty much turns me off. Yet I think I could write a story about it. I think I could understand what some people find appealing--the helplessness and humiliation of being treated as an infant; the perversity of the "baby's" sexuality.

So I don't think you have to be experienced in a fetish to write about it. You just need a good imagination and the ability to project.

I think this is basically correct, re: transgression. Porn per se is transgressive in our culture- it violates some basic social constructs about propriety. It reflects the urge to violate them in fact, as well, to throw of the constraints of social, legal, psychological and probablistic inhibitions and indulge the unfettered libido. Frequently porn even throws off the constraints of the physically possible in its pursuit of this liberation.
I would venture to say, however, that 'good porn' does this in part, at least, by embracing this transgressive nature and containing within itself both poles- the restrictive and the expansive; the oppressive and the liberating. Just as interesting fiction involves conflict, interesting porn involves, in some way, this 'war of liberation' of the libido.
It seems to me that one of the distinctions between successful, high-quality erotica and its less successful brethren is the detailing of the unfolding of this conflict, rather than just the result. For the author, a sex scene may represent the culmination of a struggle to embrace his/her sexuality, but if this struggle isn't part of the text, for the reader it's just a sex-scene. After a while, these start to look a lot alike.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Funny you should say that......I have a dilemma, although my sex life is far from vanilla, erm, due to a size issue, I've never actually performed anal...I am stuck in a scene in my latest story where the main character is anally penetrating his secretary...I'm having a challenge describing the sensation he's feeling...it is the final scene in what I think will be good story...I've stared at the bloody screen for the last 3 days...any "input" would be appreciated. (Bad pun intended!)

That's what a little patience, your fingers, and a half-quart of Astroglide are for..

See, this is a good example of authenticity in porn. ON the SRP board, I wrote Bon Bon with a preposterously big dick, as a joke. But once I'd written "her" that way, I made sure that she takes the time to prep her partners, in a realistic way. And she always rolls on a rubber- something some of my parnters in that RP seem to have forgotten all about, and she's going to kick some ass if she finds out!
At the same time, I ignore the other real life issues- like taking an enema first, and such.
But I've written that into stories too. I think it can be made totally hot, in precisely the same way that we're talking about here in regard to other odd sex practices...

 

[Kamilia Ross]

In the most amazing way! Who would have imagined such a thing existed? I am very much obliged

And amen, Stella. I think that's everyone's favorite fantasy - the person who knows precisely what one wants. That's something I miss about roleplaying online - that ability to take a half-step out of the scene and "nudge" one's partner either through clever use of hints or through side messages or what have you. If only real life would supply the equivalent.

You're quite welcome.

 

[Kamilia Ross]

This arouses my curiousity- in a general sense. Your post is just the most explicit example, so I'm picking on you- if this is a 'push' for you, why exactly are you doing it? Therapy? Deathbed request of a beloved grandmother? To win a bet? And why BDSM in particular?

Oh my. Lots of questions to answer.
LOL
I'm doing it because it's a challenge.
People have told me that I can write really well and that I should push myself.
It just happens to be BDSM because entitled is helping me to write it. She's writing the part of one character, then letting me fill in the other, having me write it as if I were the one in the story.
She's more familiar with that lifestyle than with a normal relationship so that's what she decided to do.
I just got caught up in it.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I just got caught up in it.

Funny how that happens...

 

[entitled]

Funny how that happens...

Awww... Am i that irresistible?

 

[CharleyH]

Jeez - this is still going, huh? lol

 

[CharleyH]

Been thinking about this.

The whole "kinkier than thou" seems so utterly ridiculous to me. There's a strange concept that I have heard expressed now and then, here on Lit and in other places, that more kinky equals more eroric. And as a result of that, that people who have (and write) vanilla sex do so because they are repressed, have a mediocre sexuality, a smaller libido, lack of sexual imagination, and so on.

It is, of course, bullshit. But rather wide spread bullshit. (Just like those unfamiliar with fetishes, SM and so on often believes it comes with less sexual ethics, that sexual deviance equals moral deviance.) There is no erotic axis on which you can place kinks and rate them. Just like you can't say that Beethoven is more emotional than Beatles.

SO HAPPY you brought this up and in context of quoting the good doctor (lol - he knows I refer to something specific ) Vanilla, as I have articulated elsewhere, is merely a term of getting to know your sexuality. We all begin vanilla and we have and continue to have great vanilla sex, which can be soul rising - but as the ice-cream ... we also enjoy adding almonds ...perhaps after that pecans and chocolate, we move to rocky road, maybe go onto Tiger Tail.

Sex is a matter of taste, and if missionary means your soul is touched? GREAT. Vanilla's are not repressed, just continually adventuring.