Does a husband's porn watching negatively affect his wife's libido?

[LMWM321]

Does a husband's porn watching negatively affect his wife's libido?

As woman age, the sort of sex that appeals to them may veer sharply toward the less vigorous, less penetrative. Sex that is softer, more gentle, etc.. All because menopause can make the usual PIV sex rather uncomfortable. Meanwhile, her husbands Porn tastes may be accelerating in the other direction. ..More kinky, more fantastical, etc.. Why? Because porn tends to work that way; the threshold for excitement continues to be pushed higher and higher.

Would knowing a husband is watching this contribute to a wife’s waning interest in sex? ..Does knowing he's tripping to tight-bodied 30 somethings who moan and scream over the slightest stimulation make an aging woman feel like she’s sexually irrelevant, or that she’s being left behind?

Mind you, I’m not anti-porn per se (I’m here at Lit, aren’t I?) It's just that these sorts of questions interest me.

Thoughts?

 

[LoneMilf]

That's a lot of assumptions in one short post..

Menopause affects every woman differently and does not necessarily lead to less interest in or enjoyment of sex. And you don't need to have reached menopause to know that PIV isn't the most effective way to please a woman

It could just as well be the woman who watches (perhaps escalating) porn while the man starts to feel the effects of old age on his ability to become and stay erect..

Getting older brings changes to our sex lives - both in ability and desires. But every person and every couple will be different. Fortunately, research shows that most couples find ways to keep on enjoying each other regardless of their age

 

[LMWM321]

All very good points @LoneMilf , thx…

In my defense, I did say “may” when describing how aging may affect a woman’s sexual preferences.

Also, while it is true some women watch porn, they are still vastly outnumbered by men who do. And articles on the subject suggest the porn tends to be less kinky.

But anyway, your point is taken. I should’ve written the question so that it was gender neutral. - ie., does one partners viewing of porn negatively affect the others libido.

 

[LoneMilf]

So, isn't this basically the same question you are asking here?
https://forum.literotica.com/thread...p-with-your-partner-good-bad-neither.1617246/

 

[LMWM321]

So, isn't this basically the same question you are asking here?
https://forum.literotica.com/thread...p-with-your-partner-good-bad-neither.1617246/

Well, I rephrased the question to be more specific to its possible effect on a wife's libido, which (sadly) may be of greater importance to some people than it's overall affect on the relationship. I figured a better phrasing of the question might generate more interest.

Is there a reason you're pointing this out? Am I being chided for this? After all, how many times have the same questions about "What's the ideal penis size" and "How do I get my wife to swing" been asked?

 

[LoneMilf]

I think I found the phrasing of the question in the OP a little odd - and after your clarifications, it just seemed like something already discussed many times. No worse than your other examples though

 

[MightyMilly]

What about if it's NOT the husband who is the family porn addict?

 

[eaee]

Might it be that the husband watching porn may not affect her libido so much as it might well affect how she feels toward her husband? The possibility of resentment comes to mind.
E

 

[spawnofdavey]

What about if it's NOT the husband who is the family porn addict?

Mmmm... There's something so hot about a woman who watches porn.

 

[LMWM321]

I think I found the phrasing of the question in the OP a little odd - and after your clarifications, it just seemed like something already discussed many times. No worse than your other examples though

Maybe it's a bit jarring reading such a question from a guy because...well, it's from a guy who has no first hand knowledge about such things.. But I can promise you, most female OBGYN's would wholeheartedly agree with my premise: That as woman age (ie., go through menopause) most will find that sex needs to be approached differently, more gently...if it's to continue being enjoyed. It's not an absolute rule, of course, but it's generally true. It would be no different than a woman making the comment that as men age a lot of them, though not all, will need sildenafil or tadalafil to achieve a full erection.

I truly meant no offense, but I think I'm right on the facts.

 

[forgotmyantidepressants]

If my husband told me he was:

tripping to tight-bodied 30 somethings who moan and scream over the slightest stimulation

Yeah, that might make me feel a little insecure. I'd prefer if he kept that one too himself.

 

[GoodnessO]

I haven't read anything in this thread other than the title. But as a woman, my answer is, YES.
I don't want to be a hypocrite... afterall, I'm here. And fyi, my husband isn't interested in porn. Believe me, I've tried, LOL.
I'm in an atypical situation. But for you guys in more typical situations, I think your wives might find it degrading that you're into porn. Doea that make sense to anyone?

 

[LMWM321]

I think your wives might find it degrading that you're into porn. Doea that make sense to anyone?

That doesn't make sense to me, but that's ok. ..It doesn't make your opinion any less valid. ..Can you maybe expand on this?

 

[GoodnessO]

That doesn't make sense to me, but that's ok. ..It doesn't make your opinion any less valid. ..Can you maybe expand on this?

Many wives may feel they're competing with your porn. Difficult to compete with. And if you're so interested in that, well, you can just have that.

 

[Escierto]

From reading the stuff that guys post here, you can tell that porn has affected their minds. They seem to lose the ability to distinguish between porn and it's performers and people in the real world. I think some people can look at porn from time to time and it doesn't seem to affect them. For others, not so much.

 

[Pornfan77]

What about if it's NOT the husband who is the family porn addict?

This husband would be in heaven if his wife didn’t think porn was disgusting and wrong. Sex as well for that matter.

 

[Sweetdreams71]

Many wives may feel they're competing with your porn. Difficult to compete with. And if you're so interested in that, well, you can just have that.

This

 

[Noor]

Many men who watch porn try to push their partners into being like porn partners.
Sex between partners esp married ones should be much more than what is portrayed in porn.
Men age too and some lose the stamina they had so penetrative sex is less often, long and/or common. Most seem to get better with their hands and tongues.
Menopause/hysterectomies can cause medical sexual issues. Sex drives can diminish, especially if the relationship is having issues. Usually these issues can be treated if the woman wants to treat it. Having her partner watch porn instead of being interested in her, is not encouraging to get treated.
For myself I am ok with porn if they are not addicted, I am getting what I need, i am not expected to act out a porn scenario and that sexual interaction included initimacy and personal interactions that are specific to myself and my partner.
Usually my partners don’t have the time or energy to watch porn. I don’t watch it because I find it super boring, but I am not interested in anything sexual with people I don’t know and am connected with.

 

[LMWM321]

Many wives may feel they're competing with your porn. Difficult to compete with. And if you're so interested in that, well, you can just have that.

I think couples need to have clear and open discussions about porn, and agree upon some. rules. Here's what my wife basically said to me when, many years ago, I asked for her blessing to watch porn. This is cut from another thread, but it's relevant to this discussion, I think...

My wife's response when I asked, "Are you okay with me watching Porn?"

• "I'm okay with it, but If you watch anything that is unethical because of age, non-consent, or state of mind.. Or, it depicts misogyny or violence, then it's a BIG problem! If you enjoy that kind of Porn, then you're not the man I thought you are."
• Don't expect ME to do what you're watching. We can discuss doing it, but don't expect me to say 'yes'. And if you try to make me feel bad for saying "no", then it's a problem."
• "If Porn diminishes your desire for MY body and the kind of sex I am comfortable with, then it's a problem."
• "If you stick to these rules, then you have my blessing. I understand your libido is much higher than mine and you need an outlet that doesn't involve you having affairs.."

Basically, my wife understands that porn helps me to deal with our desire discrepancy and she agrees that it's harmless so long as what I watch is ethical AND it doesn't diminish my interest or readiness for sex with her. I'm careful to make sure that doesn't happen.

As an aside, my wife won't watch porn at all. BUT she does enjoy erotic romance novels like the Fifty Shades Series, which, it could be argued, is pretty darn close to Porn - especially the movies. The streaming series Bridgerton, too... AND, she enjoys the stories I publish here on Lit for which she is my inspiration and muse.

 

[SmokingFap]

I haven't read anything in this thread other than the title. But as a woman, my answer is, YES.
I don't want to be a hypocrite... afterall, I'm here. And fyi, my husband isn't interested in porn. Believe me, I've tried, LOL.
I'm in an atypical situation. But for you guys in more typical situations, I think your wives might find it degrading that you're into porn. Doea that make sense to anyone?

It makes sense if the woman is insecure about herself or her marriage. I have been fortunate enough to date and marry many women who were perfectly accepting of my love of porn and jerking off, even while they were around but busy doing other things. My hobby never interfered with our sex lives, and often led to new discoveries that we explored together. But everyone is different. I think if a man explains to his partner that he's not necessarily watching porn because the women are so beautiful, but just because of what they're actually doing, and saying that they want to do those things with their girlfriend or wife, hopefully that would allay their partner's insecurities or concerns.

 

[And4778]

Reading these responses was helpful
Thank you everyone for enlightening me

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

I was married to a man who loved porn. Since long before he met me. I had never dated a man who was so into it as he was...
The first time I caught him sneaking it... I was livid!! I called him at his work and bitched and freaked out. I was a young 23 year old.
So, being a good GF I suggested we watch some together. It was awkward, and no one was aroused, so we turned it off...

I loved my lesbian porn, he knew I watched that... But we never watched it together..

It wasn't the fact that him having the videos or magazines turned me off... He liked BBW stuff, I didn't feel insecure.

It's that he snuck it. I was not a prude, and time and time again I said he didn't need to hide it .. I really think he got some thrill in hiding it. IDK.

I love certain porn even more now!

 

[LMWM321]

It's that he snuck it. I was not a prude, and time and time again I said he didn't need to hide it .. I really think he got some thrill in hiding it. IDK.

Well, maybe he got a thrill from hiding it, or maybe he felt some embarrassment about it even though you permitted it.

That's true in my case. If I'm watching it (these days, it's mostly just short clips) I'll quickly close the window when my wife walks in. Yes, I have her permission, but since she's made it clear she doesn't care to watch it with me, I figure I'd spare her even catching a glimpse of what I watch. but if she asks what I'm watching I am 100% honest about it.

The only time I'll ask her to watch something is if they are doing something I feel she might want to try. It was by doing this that my wife agreed to using a butt plug (her and me), pegging me, and titty-fucking (I hate the term but know of no other). ..After showing her clips of these, I'd ask, "would you try this??" and she said yes and now those activities are part of our repertoire. But that's the extent of our porn sharing.

 

[forgotmyantidepressants]

Many wives may feel they're competing with your porn. Difficult to compete with. And if you're so interested in that, well, you can just have that.

And I can't compete with porn.

I caught my husband watching porn once and I straight up told him I didn't care at all (I watched porn on and off and read erotica since I was of age), but that i didn't want to know and that I wasn't going to compete with it. I knew girls who were pressured into doing things their bfs/husbands saw in porn that they didn't really want to do. I wasn’t having any of that.

To my husband's credit, his porn watching has never been a problem in our relationship. He caught me once after and I was super embarrassed, but he just laughed it off. I don't watch tons of porn, but I do read/write erotica. He has no problem with that.