angelsrose
Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2006
- Posts
- 54
I am not sure where this might belong. But I am going to ask here and if needed could we kindly direct the new girl to where it should be? if indeed it is not suppeosed to be here. And yes I realize this is a loaded question. I am looking for others thoughts on this, not really anything else.
I was in a college class a few years ago durring which time I was also reading Send me the Thorns and Loving dominant. When the teacher started talking about bdsm and how it was a sexually "violent" idea and the "those people" obviously had something wrong with them. It *must* have stemmed back from abuse by parents, others ect.
Now mind you I have been in some seriously bad relationships, esp. as a teen where I was abused, in not so good of ways. ( I have been to therapy, and dealt with it as well, and have def. been able to lead a healthy life, alabeit, now.)
However becasue of this I couldn't really argue the point that there are people who have lead healthy lives, and just like this area of their sexual life different then others. (I don't have that expierance) And I realize that other people who aren't into this don't get "it". Nor do I feel what I enjoy has anything to do with what I have been through. I believe it changes for me at least the way I interact with people, but not my sexual partners. It colors a different aspect of my life to an extent, but I am not out looking for a man who like abuse me (outside of the areas that I enjoy, although abuse isn't the right word. ) Or have so many people been in negative relationships that this is just par for the course, we start associating with BDSM because it is an oulet the we delved into because it is a way to control that type of situation? I am curious, as to others input. I know for me I am new here and I am looking to feel comfortable with who I am as a sexual being so I can be content in ALL aspects of a relationship, and the only time I was ever content in a relationship it had a lot of top/bottom situations in the bedroom.
Of course he had no idea what he was doing, but man did he have a gift for it. (grins) And I was safe, completely, nothing got out of hand and he never *hurt* me. Nor did he view me any differently for what I enjoyed. Am I making sense? I hope so.... So please let me know your ideas on this matter, or if someone could direct me to a place that I can read more about it.....
Thank You so Much
Truly
Angel
I was in a college class a few years ago durring which time I was also reading Send me the Thorns and Loving dominant. When the teacher started talking about bdsm and how it was a sexually "violent" idea and the "those people" obviously had something wrong with them. It *must* have stemmed back from abuse by parents, others ect.
Now mind you I have been in some seriously bad relationships, esp. as a teen where I was abused, in not so good of ways. ( I have been to therapy, and dealt with it as well, and have def. been able to lead a healthy life, alabeit, now.)
However becasue of this I couldn't really argue the point that there are people who have lead healthy lives, and just like this area of their sexual life different then others. (I don't have that expierance) And I realize that other people who aren't into this don't get "it". Nor do I feel what I enjoy has anything to do with what I have been through. I believe it changes for me at least the way I interact with people, but not my sexual partners. It colors a different aspect of my life to an extent, but I am not out looking for a man who like abuse me (outside of the areas that I enjoy, although abuse isn't the right word. ) Or have so many people been in negative relationships that this is just par for the course, we start associating with BDSM because it is an oulet the we delved into because it is a way to control that type of situation? I am curious, as to others input. I know for me I am new here and I am looking to feel comfortable with who I am as a sexual being so I can be content in ALL aspects of a relationship, and the only time I was ever content in a relationship it had a lot of top/bottom situations in the bedroom.
Of course he had no idea what he was doing, but man did he have a gift for it. (grins) And I was safe, completely, nothing got out of hand and he never *hurt* me. Nor did he view me any differently for what I enjoyed. Am I making sense? I hope so.... So please let me know your ideas on this matter, or if someone could direct me to a place that I can read more about it.....
Thank You so Much
Truly
Angel
