Do you use a checklist?

[esclave_PP]

Here is a quick poll -- how many in D/s, M/s relationships here use a formal checklist of limits? If so, what are some of your soft limits, hard limits, things you will absolutely not do or things you've said you must absolutely have in your relationship?

 

[TNRkitect2b]

We used a checklist as an easy way to determine each other's preferences, however, it is not a listing of limits, as there are no limits within the relationship, save those that I make.

She filled it out with comments, then I filled it out with responses to the comments. It worked out for us that the things she did not care for happened to be things that I did not care for such as Scat.

There are some things that she likes that I am not ready to approach yet, such as blade/edge play, but this is more a matter of experience and comfort levels on my part than aversion to the idea.

 

[Etoile]

I filled one out for fun once, just to see how I felt about different things. I did send it to Daddy for eir edification but it isn't anything that we've ever used as such.

 

[MissTaken]

Well, a checklist isn't a road map or bible, but can be a great tool for discussion and ideas for novices.

I have used them to give a general picture of my interests and dislikes, but these things to be ever changing.

 

[catalina_francisco]

We both filled out checklists initially before meeting, and then again a few months later, but no longer bother. It is interesting in that we shared some hard limits, and varied on others, but as time has progressed, some we both shared have changed for one or both of us, and some one had that the other didn't have also changed.

Catalina

 

[esclave_PP]

http://www.soulshaven.f2s.com/nchk_main.php3 This is a really nice online one for those that haven't checked it out -- you can fill out all or parts and email it to your counter part.

 

[MastrJ]

My sub and I both filled out a checklist. We did to get an idea of where we both were and what our limits were. It turned out that our hard limits were pretty much spot on with each other (scat for one). There were some other areas where one or the other was more interested in something than the other, but even then our interests were far off. I've thought about having us filling out the checklist again, but haven't decided to yet for sure.

 

[Netzach]

Limits or no, I find it useful.

In fact when we re-did ours we got all horny and excited about stuff we'd forgotten we were even interested in last year.

 

[dragonlace]

I filled one out a while ago when we were first getting started together to give Him some inisght into what my limits and likes and dislikes, it has changed drastically since first filling it out but it was a good starting point for Him to learn alittle bit about me and my tastes. I think its a good way for any new couple to learn a little bit about each others tastes.

We no longer need it or use it but it was a helpful tool in the beginning

 

[ownedsubgal]

we've never used one, but i have read over quite a few just for the heck of it. as for finding out personal limits or things we believed in and didn't believe in, etc., that all came out naturally when we spoke as friends, before a D/s relationship ever formed.

 

[TigerClaw]

Yes, Now I do. It is a good guide and always good for discussion. To see what one feels like, wants, curious to bend or push, or even change to not interested.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Yes, Now I do. It is a good guide and always good for discussion. To see what one feels like, wants, curious to bend or push, or even change to not interested.

I think talking about limits is semi-intimate and could be uncomfortable early on in the getting to know you stage. Filling out a questionaire probably is better then a sub/slave doing all that squirming and having flushed cheeks......or not OK all joking aside, i've never used a checklist, didnt even know they existed till recently and i think they are a wonderful way to comfortably get to know someone.

 

[Shadowsdream]

I enjoy having a submissive fill out the check list when they first believe they might like My training or ownership because...each question that they answer has them facing themselves to begin with.
It can be a test of openess and honesty as much as a tool to show similar or varying kinks.

 

[BlueSugar]

What happened to the obligatory other?

I said no though, because I never had to, but we did one each last night... we're going to share them later today ::crosses fingers:: I hope all goes well. I hope it helps us more.

 

[esclave_PP]

That is great -- hope it helps -- we used our also to gauge likes and what not and to see originally what I had experience with but the nature of our relationship is that it doesn't really matter so much what I like and don't -- at least I don't mind that anyway.

 

[TigerClaw]

Very Good Point.....

I think talking about limits is semi-intimate and could be uncomfortable early on in the getting to know you stage. Filling out a questionaire probably is better then a sub/slave doing all that squirming and having flushed cheeks......or not OK all joking aside, i've never used a checklist, didnt even know they existed till recently and i think they are a wonderful way to comfortably get to know someone.

 

[BlueSugar]

Well, did the check list, learned a few new things about each other.

we ended up having a really good time, took a few pictures, used a blind fold, some wax play... all in all good night. I say do it once, what the hell

 

[taipa]

Yes, this was one of the tasks He had me complete before W/we met, then after O/our first session, He again had me go over the list and make any revisions if there were to be any. i found i had changed at least 30 answers.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Yes, this was one of the tasks He had me complete before W/we met, then after O/our first session, He again had me go over the list and make any revisions if there were to be any. i found i had changed at least 30 answers.

LOL, funny how that happens, and often without even consciously noticing at first.

Catalina