Do you keep the fact that you are bi/gay from your most trusted & intimate friends?

[ethereal~minx]

Do you know someone that hides their 'natural' desires from their closest friends?

okay! I'll quit messin with the thread title!!!

I can think of many reasons why one would fear exposing their natural desire but when you're talking about revealing your true self to someone that loves you, that you can trust with your innermost feelings and secrets, your vulnerabilities & pain & emotions~~ where in the world could you be more safe?

 

[Cigan]

There is no way I would keep the fact that I'm gay from any of those close to me. If they are close to me then they can handle it, and if they can't handle it, then they don't deserve to be close to me.

 

[ethereal~minx]

I appreciate that Cigan and I admire your conviction. I would like to think I'd be the same way.... I am not gay so I don't know and that's why I'm asking. Heck, I can't say I'm even bi because I've never been with a woman~ but... I will say, at least here on lit, I have been extremely aroused by same-sex talk.. it's not something I look for most definitely but when I admire someone, when there is that spark~ it's a spark whether it's male or female... anyway---I'm losing my point (or did I have one *laughing*) uhmmmm.... and I would share that with my most intimate, trusted friend.

 

[bottom boy]

I share the fact that I am bi only with my MOST trusted and intimate friend - my girlfriend (who is also bi).

Other than that, no one else knows. Except, my Lit friends, of course.

I don't think its anyone elses business.

bb

 

[ethereal~minx]

thanks bb~ this brings up a few more questions though and not specifically for you just so you know.

so you're in a relationship w/ a member of the opposite sex & you both know you're both bi ~~ do you ever have intimate 'relations' with others~ without the other knowing?

(that was a mouthful) *rolling eyes* dang, only a mouthful because it didn't make sense!!! okay, now it should *laughin*

 

[Ms_Lilith]

I'm pretty open with everyone except family. My mom knows I'm bi, and my brother knows, but my dad, grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins wouldn't understand.

Anyone else, though, sure. I mean, I don't advertise, though I do wear a pride badge on my backpack at school. The people at my office know... some people were trashing gay people in front of me one day, and I basically said "look.. don't assume that everyone around you is straight".... they were a little confused, cus it's well-known that my bf is one of the realtor's sons, but then some of them understood. The realtors are a little wary about it sometimes, but the support staff and office managers have been wonderfully supportive.

And of course all my close friends know.

 

[coffecup]

I have been stright all my life. Just recently discovered the paradise awaiting me with some new found friends. You bet I keep it secret. It would cost me everything if it got out. I am finding others in the same situation. I am begining to think that every one over a certin age is makeing the same discoverys I did.

 

[Angel]

I share with anyone I would share "Straight relationship talk" with.

 

[Magnolia Wind]

Only one of my friends know. I kind of don't feel the need to tell everyone about it, just because I've never actually been with a girl. But if I have a girlfriend in the nearest future, I won't be hiding it, of course. As for the family -----> no way I'm gonna tell them, simply because it's not accepted in this circle. Meh.

 

[LadyIsis]

I've never hidden my feelings from my loved ones. It wasn't easy to admit to them that I'm a lesbian, but I've never questioned my decision to tell them. And I've found that most people are ok with it.

 

[Mistress K]

No Way

I'm bi-sexual in a lesbian relationship.

The minute I got with my now girlfriend, I told all of my close friends. When I realised that it was going to be a long term thing (about 3 weeks later) I told both my parents.

The only ones left are extended family, but seeing as they are all 1000km's away I haven't really had the chance to tell them. It's not really something i'd like to do over the phone. When I go to visit them in February, i'll be telling them.

But thats me and i'm a very open and honest person, and have gone past the point of caring what other people think about me. Besides when you are in a long term same sex relationship - it kinda becomes hard to hide it from your close friends and family.

 

[sugarpussy]

the last good friend I revealed my bisexuality to invited me over to do her boyfriend/her and shortly after flaked out and wont even speak to me......... she wasn't really bi and felt that the b/f had pressured her........ so she severed ties with me to avoid the reminders........... personally, I think its just gonna bother her forever and a good talk betweent the two of us would have helped......... I had a 3 hour conversation with her boyfriend to help him deal with her issues, I could easily have helped her to understand that the "encounter" was behind us and needed no mention...... I'm not that kind of girl who would constantly bring up something I knew made her uncomfortable.

 

[ethereal~minx]

...As for the family -----> no way I'm gonna tell them, simply because it's not accepted in this circle. Meh.

WOW! I mean, I understand that and I'm sure in my life people feel the same way it's just not noticed because this hasn't came up but ohhh how the circle needs expanded!!!!!!! here's to vixenshe's subtle limit-pushing *smiling & cheering vix*

 

[ethereal~minx]

..."look.. don't assume that everyone around you is straight".... they were a little confused, cus it's well-known that my bf is one of the realtor's sons, but then some of them understood. The realtors are a little wary about it sometimes, but the support staff and office managers have been wonderfully supportive. ..

*smile* I just love your way vixenshe~ I don't even know you but I can just hear the emphatically calm tone when you say that~~~ it's awesome how a little comment can settle into the minds of others & make them or help them gain a different perspective where maybe they held some pretty firm beliefs..

 

[ethereal~minx]

... Just recently discovered the paradise awaiting me.....I am begining to think that every one over a certin age is makeing the same discoverys I did.

~when I think of myself as a sexual being *smiles* ~you bet, it is paradise!!! OMG~ just close your eyes for a minute and feeel ohhhhhhh
this paradise~it transcends gender, and personally I think that is a sign of the times that more and more people are making this discovery as well.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I have never hidden my sexual preferences from anyone..Not at work, school, or with my family and friends. I have been consistently OUT since I was 16. To me, if someone can not accept that small aspect of what makes me 'ME' then they are not worthy of being a close intimate friend anyway.

Honesty (IMO) is just the best way to bring understanding to those people who have never met a G/L/B/T person. I carry *bi pride* and *gay pride* badges every where I go..I even have a small replica of the gay pride flag in my window. I am proud of myself. Anyone worth knowing would be proud to know all about me. Therefore no hiding.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

I have never hidden my sexual preferences from anyone..Not at work, school, or with my family and friends. I have been consistently OUT since I was 16. To me, if someone can not accept that small aspect of what makes me 'ME' then they are not worthy of being a close intimate friend anyway.

Honesty (IMO) is just the best way to bring understanding to those people who have never met a G/L/B/T person. I carry *bi pride* and *gay pride* badges every where I go..I even have a small replica of the gay pride flag in my window. I am proud of myself. Anyone worth knowing would be proud to know all about me. Therefore no hiding.

*hugs and kisses*

 

[Ms_Lilith]

*smile* I just love your way vixenshe~ I don't even know you but I can just hear the emphatically calm tone when you say that~~~ it's awesome how a little comment can settle into the minds of others & make them or help them gain a different perspective where maybe they held some pretty firm beliefs..

Thank you, minx... It just bothers me that people are so narrow-minded. I mean, one of the realtors at my office is transgendered (male to female), and they deal with HER just fine.... *shrug* Why not gay people then?

 

[ethereal~minx]

what I think is, it's about being true to yourself~~~ it's not about sharing wrecklessly or needlessly or just because, I mean really, who needs to know about our sexuality, right? it's pretty much a given that we're all sexual...

I'm not gay, I am thinking about maybe pickin up a badge or a pin or something because I think --tolerance, acceptance, love-- is hello, a good thing & I'll wear it in support..but anyway I'm sooo off topic I think *rubbing eyes*

 

[bottom boy]

so you're in a relationship w/ a member of the opposite sex & you both know you're both bi ~~ do you ever have intimate 'relations' with others~ without the other knowing?

no. we're very open with each other

 

[brinkeedinkee]

I don't HIDE what I "am"...but I don't think it would be brought up in casual chat. One side of my family, who are more accepting of everyone, know that I am bisexual. My other side, who are not, I don't feel the need to tell. Not because I want them to accept me, but b/c sometimes it is just easier on the family to see a person in a way that they feel comfortable. Of course, if I was ever asked, I would be truthful.

Brinky

 

[pussikat]

I think everyone who knows me knows that I am bi lol. Its easy enough for them to get the hint when I am checking out girls and talking about my mad crush on Angelina Jolie mmm

I did have one guy friend of mine kindof freak out alittle bit but he didn't dwell on it and we stayed close friends.



Its not something I go around waving in front of everyone. But I am proud of who I am and see no reason to hide it. No matter who or what you are someone in this world will find a reason to hate you for it, sadly enough. I find it better just to get on with my life and not worry about it. But I do understand why some choose to keep it a secret. Plus I am a witch I have to deal with enough blind hatred and misconceptions lol.

 

[mellian]

Re: Do you know someone that hides their 'natural' desires from their closest friends?

okay! I'll quit messin with the thread title!!!

I can think of many reasons why one would fear exposing their natural desire but when you're talking about revealing your true self to someone that loves you, that you can trust with your innermost feelings and secrets, your vulnerabilities & pain & emotions~~ where in the world could you be more safe?

i am pretty open about myself, so i have no real problem answering anyones questions....depending as to who they are exactly and why exactly they are asking.

-mellian

 

[mellian]

angelina jolie rules, woohoo!

-mellian

 

[innocentone]

My best friend knows I am bi, of course she is one of the few who do, I think my mom suspects but doesent know for sure.... of course my mom knew I was pagan before I told her too....I think she is just a mindreader