Do you believe in soulmates?

[monique1971]

Is there a special someone for each of us out there, someone who will know, accept, and love us body and soul?

Or is this a bullshit myth that everyone should stop believing once they're past the age of 16?

Discuss.

[Full disclosure: I think the concept of a "soulmate" is idiotic.]

 

[MUSDAWG89]

i don't know about a soul mate, but i had as close as you could get before she was taken away. I hope there is someone else out there for me, but i don't know if you can be that blessed twice

 

[rrocks37]

I think that we all have a few people that we are ultimately compatible with but all of them require work. Soulmates are cheezy and unlikely.

 

[shy slave]

I do not believe in Soul mates.

They seem to be a concept more suited to the 'teenage and younger' age bracket.

Suppose you Soul mate dies when you are only 21 years old?

What then? Does everyone who comes after them become second best?

My personal belief we have the right people in our lives for a particular reason at that particular moment.
Therefore if you end up with an ex (or several of them) they were not all bad, and were in your life at that time for a reason which was meaningful to you. Either as a support or as a lesson learnt, or both.

The Soul mate issue is a HUGE hobby horse of mine, so I won't bore you.

Suffice to say that Soul mates at best seem unrealistic and perhaps best confined to romance novels.

 

[Disrupted]

It is a mirror of the ideal, represented by facets of naivete, longing, and sacrifice, usually shattering in the end and carrying some hopes and dreams along.

Even though a perfect fit may never exist, nearing the mark can be a task in itself when preferences are numerous and specific. This does not include the likelihood of issues or flaws in any form that serve as a tradeoff for the qualities sought after or as a challenge to somehow overcome. Following closely behind are the many trials couples will face during their relationship and how they will solve them.

What does not help is how, should the individual in question be a match for oneself, the opposite may not hold true. Just as inconvenient is the matter of availability, as there are only so many people in the world to choose from.

Last, but not least, is the humbling reality of being susceptible to loss at any time. When it is overlooked or easily dismissed, it has a way of returning to inflict regrets.

Dare I say it, seeing through the illusion makes one weary.

 

[bluebell]

Merv Griffin is very very rich.

It is a mirror of the ideal, represented by facets of naivete, longing, and sacrifice, usually shattering in the end and carrying some hopes and dreams along.

Even though a perfect fit may never exist, nearing the mark can be a task in itself when preferences are numerous and specific. This does not include the likelihood of issues or flaws in any form that serve as a tradeoff for the qualities sought after or as a challenge to somehow overcome. Following closely behind are the many trials couples will face during their relationship and how they will solve them.

What does not help is how, should the individual in question be a match for oneself, the opposite may not hold true. Just as inconvenient is the matter of availability, as there are only so many people in the world to choose from.

Last, but not least, is the humbling reality of being susceptible to loss at any time. When it is overlooked or easily dismissed, it has a way of returning to inflict regrets.

Dare I say it, seeing through the illusion makes one weary.

Sounds like how Alex Trebec might answer this question.
Give or take a few natty grins and the awarding of unaccounted-for points after answering the question "Pope Paul" instead of "Pope Paul X".
(We all know you need to be consistent on Jeopardy.)

 

[bluebell]

Snicker

Is there a special someone for each of us out there, someone who will know, accept, and love us body and soul?

Or is this a bullshit myth that everyone should stop believing once they're past the age of 16?

Mo, how can you ask this?
Hasn't The Mirror Has Two Faces done anything for your sense of childlike wonder?!

 

[kittykateater]

I never believed in soulmates or fate, but with my wife I do have to wonder.

We met through a dating service and spoke on the phone for hours every night for about 5 weeks before we could finally arrange our schedules to go on a date.

By our second date we were finishing each other's sentences like old maried couples who'd known each other for years. We had our first sex on our 4th date and neither of us had ever had such great sex before! After our 6th date we moved in together. Less than two months after our first date, I proposed and she said yes without hesitation, and 6 weeks after that we were married. It felt right, and we saw no reason NOT to spend the rest of our lives together, which we both very much wanted (and still want) to do.

We still amaze ourslves by saying the same thing in the same words at the same time. It often does seem we are two halves of the same personality that finally met and reunited...is that a soulmate? All I know is I can't imagine a single day of the rest of my life without M at my side, I've felt like that each and every day for 10 years, and when a business trip takes either of us out of town the separation is excruciating for us both, even if it's only for a few days.

As we came to know each other, we talked about previous dates that had been disasters. I mentioned a costume ball for singles I had gone to with a lady realtor (we had agreed to meet up there, so we each had our separate cars) who spent the whole date drinking herself senseless at the bar and wouldn't dance. M said it was funny but she had recently been to a costume ball too, and she had tried to catch the eye of one guy who looked interesting but didn't seem to notice her., and she left frustrated. I too had left early, frustrrated, and let teh realtor to her own devices, she had a car and I hoped would sober up before choosing to drive (I later learned she stayed overnight at a hotel near the party, to sleep it off---with some guy she met at the party after I left).

As we talked, M mentioned the guy whose eye she had tried to catch was wearing a top-hat at this costume ball. Well, I had worn a top hat to MY costume ball!

She told me she had been dressed as a flapper. I rememberd noticing a very cute little flapper but she had too many opeople around her so I ahd been afraid to approach her and ask her to dance, plus some part of me said it would be rude to dance with someone else while ostensibly I was with that realtor who didn't seem to know I was alive!

As we talked we found at least 3 other occasions we had been at the same event at the same time before we ever met or knew who each other was.

When we met, we were both single parents of adopted kids of the oposite sex (mine was a daughter, hers a son--but for ten years now the kids haven't been "mine" or "hers" but "ours"). It's pretty rare to be a single parent to an adopted kid, so that gave us a lot understanding and experience in common.

Solumate? Fate? I don't know, but whatever label you want to put on it, all I know is I love her, she loves me, we both love our 2 kids, we've had 10 wonderful and amazing years together and looking forward to at least 40 or 50 more!

 

[Lurnk]

Newp, I don't think we have soul mates.

That kind of arrogance and narcissism tip the scales a tad too muchly--individualism and uniqueness go only so far. Yes, we have our quirks and interests: I like John Keats and chocolate milk, he likes Spiderman comic books and Mozart, she likes donkey porn and strawberry jolly ranchers, etc..

Nonetheless, we all have core needs and desires, which any number of people can cater to. I'd be silly to reject someone who truly cares for and respects me because he doesn't become glee incarnate over Pop Will Eat Itself or erupt into hives after looking at jars of mixed peanut butter and jelly.

 

[coastal-boy]

Those who doubt, haven't found their soul mate or have simply been unwilling to accept the risks required to make it happen. If you are lucky enough to have the experience, you would never doubt again. It isn't just about finding your soul mate...it is about both of you being ready to find each other. Argue for your limitations and so they shall be yours. If you believe it doesn't exist, why would you ever expect to find it? You are closed off to the possibility. Instead of asking yourself why you haven't had this experience, it is easier to laugh at those who have and call us naive, arrogant, idealistic, immature ect. Well I would rather be thought of as naive, arrogant, idealistic and immature and have what I have than not.

Finding a soul mate has more to do with you than the actual "person" you find.

 

[GloriaBrown]

Yes.

But, I do think there's more than one per person and they are not as rare as folks make it out to be.

One can have several soulmates, just one, or none.

 

[Lurnk]

Those who doubt, haven't found their soul mate or have simply been unwilling to accept the risks required to make it happen. If you are lucky enough to have the experience, you would never doubt again. It isn't just about finding your soul mate...it is about both of you being ready to find each other. Argue for your limitations and so they shall be yours. If you believe it doesn't exist, why would you ever expect to find it? You are closed off to the possibility. Instead of asking yourself why you haven't had this experience, it is easier to laugh at those who have and call us naive, arrogant, idealistic, immature ect. Well I would rather be thought of as naive, arrogant, idealistic and immature and have what I have than not.

Finding a soul mate has more to do with you than the actual "person" you find.

It has nothing to do with avoiding risk or rejecting possibilities--I'm not gibbing love. The soul mate concept closes you off to opportunities. I don't believe I'm made for one person, as I've got a lovely mixture of traits suitable for those can put up with them.

Chemistry and love come in many forms. I'm not going to limit myself to men who can finish my sentences.

 

[77817]

[I think the concept of a "soulmate" is idiotic.]

Fuck. You're a lonely, bitter excuse of a human being.

 

[MsTexas]

I think there is someone for everyone. We just keep looking for the one that makes us complete. Its something that you feel deep within, I thought I found my soulmate but it wasnt the case.

I had is once and I know it will happen again, its just not my time. You have to believe in something before you can make it happen, if you dont believe that there is someone out there for "just" you then you wont find this person.

 

[shy slave]

Fuck. You're a lonely, bitter excuse of a human being.

That is a bit harsh.

Soul mate implies that there is only one person out there for you.

I agree with Monique, how can that be possible?

Soul mates are the stuff of fairy tales.

I guess I should stand in the corner with Monique on this one.


Thank God I like standing in the corner

 

[Dreamliner]

Of course we have soul mates. And then the next one comes along.

Gotta keep on looking.

 

[Disrupted]

Sounds like how Alex Trebec might answer this question.
Give or take a few natty grins and the awarding of unaccounted-for points after answering the question "Pope Paul" instead of "Pope Paul X".
(We all know you need to be consistent on Jeopardy.)

I can only guess as to how Trebek would answer that question. On top of that, I would rather watch Celebrity Jeopardy.

Those who doubt, haven't found their soul mate or have simply been unwilling to accept the risks required to make it happen. If you are lucky enough to have the experience, you would never doubt again. It isn't just about finding your soul mate...it is about both of you being ready to find each other. Argue for your limitations and so they shall be yours. If you believe it doesn't exist, why would you ever expect to find it? You are closed off to the possibility. Instead of asking yourself why you haven't had this experience, it is easier to laugh at those who have and call us naive, arrogant, idealistic, immature ect. Well I would rather be thought of as naive, arrogant, idealistic and immature and have what I have than not.

Finding a soul mate has more to do with you than the actual "person" you find.

I do not think it is unreasonable to have doubts. At the same time, I certainly have nothing against those who search for or pursue the notion of a soulmate. (Personally, I'll take my chances with keeping such hopes alive instead of burying them and never having the opportunity to experience the possibility.)

As an aside, I am curious as to how believing in it can have a person be regarded as arrogant. I can understand being considered naive, idealistic, or "immature," but somehow I do not find arrogance as coming into play at all.

 

[monique1971]

Fuck. You're a lonely, bitter excuse of a human being.

I've been waiting to hear those words all my life. You must be my soulmate.

 

[jorgan]

now that's funny shit

I've been waiting to hear those words all my life. You must be my soulmate.

Don't think there is the actual SOUL MATE. That kind of limits your options to just one person and there are just too many variables that go into meeting someone already. I haven't seen the movie but the one with John Cussak where he gets the girls # and the wind blows it away and she says if it's meant to be we'll meat again.....that stuff hardly ever (if ever) happens.

I think there is someone for everyone and sometimes youhave to look very hard and sometimes it's easier if you quit looking. Kind of like my TV remote when it's lost.

I don know that at one time I thought I knew the type of girl I wanted to be with. Then I met her and we dated for a while. IT WAS BAAAAAAAAD....a train wreck waiting to happen. Had she been my soul mate, I would have injured myself very badly.

 

[Carbuncle]

i used to believe in soulmates... when i finally dropped my armor and give myself to someone thinking she was the one... she cheated on me... took me enough time to stop being bitter and all... but now i dont believe in soulmates...

 

[bluebell]

A truly puzzling pickle.

I can only guess as to how Trebek would answer that question. On top of that, I would rather watch Celebrity Jeopardy.

Of course.
I mean, anytime you get to see Isaac Mizrahi answer "My apartment" for the Final Jeopardy question can only be described as, well, a life-completing experience.

I wonder if the people who play on Jeopardy believe in soulmates...?

 

[bluebell]

Occupational hazard, I suppose.

Fuck. You're a lonely, bitter excuse of a human being.

Get bent, you gormless git.

 

[Crazy_Jezabel]

I'm not sure if I believe in soulmates. There are some people who doesn't want to look for just "one" person to be with, but I've known two of those type of people who wound up being with one girl. With one guy he kept going back to his ex and they eventually decided to just see only each other and the other. With the other guy he wound up getting married and has been married for 9 years now.

I found my husband in a pretty unique way and if there are soul mates I blieve my mom's soul mate went back to his wife rather than divorcing her.

If the Christinity religion is correct and God gave us a free will to think, then I don't see how there could be soul mates because then that means there has always been one person out there made just for you.

 

[MrHotnspicey]

Soulmates? My feeling is that a Soulmate is first developed through a deep and caring friendship. That being friends with many mutual things in common they enjoy sharing with each other. I am older than most of you. Early 60's , and married for 42 yrs. We have many things in common, yet we are both independant and have things we enjoy with others. Our relationship started as just friends, that developed into a loving , caring relationship, that has grown even stronger over these 42 years.
In trying to find the soulmate, my suggestion is find a friend you enjoy being with and let the relationship grow from there.
Spicey

 

[MsTexas]

Thats absolutely beautiful Spicey!!

Everyone has their definition of "soulmate" so there cant be a right or wrong answer as to if they exist. If you believe then they do, if you dont then they dont.

Pretty simple I think