Do men like women who rather hate being dominated?

[KillerMuffin]

I've noticed lately that a great deal of the sexual fluff around here is the whole submissive women getting manhandled by the dominant men type of thing. Guys wanna spank, wanna restrain, wanna "take." Women want to be bent over, wanna be spanked, wanna be taken.


While this is okay, I suppose, but it's not something I find horribly sexually appealing. Some of these posts just confound me. I don't really understand why a woman would want a man to treat her like a piece of garbage, but whatever cranks your camshaft. Please don't explain, I'm not going to understand why you want to do it anymore than you'd understand why I'd disembowl a man who treated me that way.


Anyway, these sorts of things meet with a lot of general approval. Gushing and flirting and all that rot. Makes me wonder if I'm just a sexual weirdo here. Anyway.

I like gazpacho without tomato juice in it.

_____________

Edited to add:

It's been pointed out how insulting this particular post is. I don't believe that all submissive women want to be treated like garbage or that by being submissive one is necessarily being treated like garbage. It's just my highly indelicate way of referring to the humiliation aspect of BDSM. I should have been more clear and less flippant. I apologize for the unintended insult. I'm sorry.

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[Problem Child]

Anyway, these sorts of things meet with a lot of general approval. Gushing and flirting and all that rot. Makes me wonder if I'm just a sexual weirdo here. Anyway.

Honey, most women don't know what cartridge the M-1 fires or how to use a torque wrench either.

You're special, and that's ok.

 

[lovetoread]

I dont believe I ever gushed.


Does it hurt?

 

[FallenSeraph]

Funny. I haven't noticed it much, but then I don't notice a lot of stuff. I mean what's the fun of sex if she's just lying there while i do all the work. I do enough of that on my own

 

[unclej]

while you may very well be a sexual weirdo i have wondered the same thing lately. i've never particularly wanted to dominate nor be dominated. i always found mutual exploration and pleasure to be the most enjoyable kind of sex. i did do a little role playing occasionally with my ex wife but not a steady diet.

 

[Rubyfruit]

I don't think it's that unusual, Muffy. A lot of women I know in life also like to be dominated sexually.

I'm sure it looks very different for all of us, but for me, a man who takes me and is dominant with me, makes me feel cherished, wanted, desired.

 

[Cerberus666]

gazpacho is yucky any way you like it.

 

[Nicki19]

I've participated in the gushing dominate-me-please threads, but I also like to be the dominating figure in bed. It all depends on the guy that I'm with, the situation, and my mood. I don't think you're a sexual weirdo. I know lots of men who love it when a woman takes control.

 

[horny_giraffe]

I think that there are subtleties of control that one can easily miss.

I'm sure you've been to a strip club and felt the power dynamic. It is not the men who are in control--it is the women. The women "degrade" themselves for the men, but the men all know who is really in control. Being the dominant type, I dislike strip clubs for this reasons. I dislike submitting to this control.

I believe that many women on this board who "degrade" themselves for men do it with the hope that they will gain power over their men. Sometimes they do. Certainly, a man who is a slave to the whims of his dick ceases to be a man--but only an animal. Some women evidently feel that an animal is easier to control. I think they may be right.

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

Re: Re: Do men like women who rather hate being dominated?

Honey, most women don't know what cartridge the M-1 fires or how to use a torque wrench either.

Gotta love women like that which is why I love my wife so much. Plus, she loves computer and video games.

 

[BgMma]

I like the idea of being dominated, though not as much in RL. The fantasy is always better than the reality.
I do so much like it when my partner "takes" me. Sometimes I get aggressive and I don't let up for a while, but there are times when I want to be held down and given everything my partner has for me.

That is the appeal for me.

 

[Pamela]

I don't think you're a sexual weirdo!

For me, I like many things. Although, I've never enjoyed being the dominant one. I like being dominated, I like mutual exploration. Depends on the mood I'm in.

After talking with friends about this, our theory is that I probably don't like being the dominant one because I'm in a supervisor role at work all day. Therefore I'm in control all the time (well supposidly!). My friends are not in any supervisory type position, and absolutely hate being dominated in bed. So...in a nutshell.....what we think is that you enjoy in bed whatever is somewhat the opposite of your real life.

That's what we've come up with anyway!

 

[patient1]

It's true, Killer Muffin. You're both a unique weirdo and sexual. Actually, I myself love a particular woman that enjoys being gently cherished.

Didn't the Vanilla Wars teach you & I the hard way not to judge other people's arousal paterns by how we like to treat others & how we like to be treated? Or judge a sensation on how it feels to us?

Different strokes for different folks. Diversity is an evolutionary strategy, after all.

 

[intrigued]

I've noticed lately that a great deal of the sexual fluff around here is the whole submissive women getting manhandled by the dominant men type of thing. Guys wanna spank, wanna restrain, wanna "take." Women want to be bent over, wanna be spanked, wanna be taken.


While this is okay, I suppose, but it's not something I find horribly sexually appealing. Some of these posts just confound me. I don't really understand why a woman would want a man to treat her like a piece of garbage, but whatever cranks your camshaft. Please don't explain, I'm not going to understand why you want to do it anymore than you'd understand why I'd disembowl a man who treated me that way.


Anyway, these sorts of things meet with a lot of general approval. Gushing and flirting and all that rot. Makes me wonder if I'm just a sexual weirdo here. Anyway.

I like gazpacho without tomato juice in it.

I take it this is just a rambling rant type thing, in which you really don't want us to respond?
OK.

 

[Guest]

 

[MissTaken]

It is a matter of context as well.

If you were having coffee with five or six women and talking about sex, it isn't likely that many would even bring up a spanking.

If she did, she would be the minority.

I think to that you can believe about half of what you read in the gushing adn flirting threads.

Having a partner is important, however you chose to define it.

You aren't a wierdo, KM.

You are just

just

Km!

 

[I'mVan]

We play fantasies here a lot, it's hard to distinguish what is a play for head space, for casual, for regular. Me I'd like to play both sides of that coin, occasionally.

 

[Aquila]

I've noticed lately that a great deal of the sexual fluff around here is the whole submissive women getting manhandled by the dominant men type of thing. Guys wanna spank, wanna restrain, wanna "take." Women want to be bent over, wanna be spanked, wanna be taken.


While this is okay, I suppose, but it's not something I find horribly sexually appealing. Some of these posts just confound me. I don't really understand why a woman would want a man to treat her like a piece of garbage, but whatever cranks your camshaft. Please don't explain, I'm not going to understand why you want to do it anymore than you'd understand why I'd disembowl a man who treated me that way.


Anyway, these sorts of things meet with a lot of general approval. Gushing and flirting and all that rot. Makes me wonder if I'm just a sexual weirdo here. Anyway.

I like gazpacho without tomato juice in it.

Ding Ding Ding Ding

I luv you km

 

[The Heretic]

Well, I probably would like to play some dom games - a little, but that doesn't mean I like submissive women, I just would like a little role play during sex once in a while. More importantly I want my sex partner to enjoy sex, not do something just to please me. I don't like being submissive either so I can certainly understand a woman not liking it either.

 

[Nora]

Do men like women who rather hate being dominated?

I stopped reading after that point, cuz my answer is "who the fuck cares?"

Any guy that would require me to change my personality isn't one I give a rat's ass about knowing. Beyond that, I tend to keep my sexuality off the boards by personal choice.

Ok, I felt guilty so I'll read the rest....and my answer's the same. Who gives a fuck? If that makes 'em happy, then it does and they don't need me to piss on their Wheaties. What do I care? They're not taking anything away from me by doing it. When the giggling and simpering get to me (and it does! it does!) then I flip to another thread.


And I don't really like gazpacho at all. But i do like tomato juice, so go figure?

 

[Lancecastor]

Makes me wonder if I'm just a sexual weirdo here.

I think you're a garden-variety wierdo.

You write about wierd sex, but you are emphatic about not wanting it.

You rail against dominant men, but have a military background.

You constantly ask questions about BDSM, but bristle if someone mentions it to you.

You rip into girly-girl grrls, but use an eye-candy avatar.

Al these contrasts and your bouts of crankiness about sex topics suggest you shouldn't be so definitive in your statements about who you are sexually.

You might be a gay domme but dont know it yet.

If so, I call dibs on the toaster oven.

Me, I like a woman with enough self-awareness and confidence in who she is as a person and a woman that we can do anything we want together and none of it will be wierd...especially the spankings.

 

[Desert Amazon]

 

[KillerMuffin]

I think I should say that I have nothing against subbies and that I think they're--on the whole--smart, intelligent people. Sometimes, though, it seems that the only women who gain approval in these parts are submissive or only gain approval when behaving submissive.

I am not jealous of the attention, just thinking out loud as usual.

 

[Lancecastor]

...approval in these parts are submissive or only gain approval when behaving submissive.

I am not jealous of the attention, just thinking out loud as usual.

"Submissive" and "stupid" aren't the same thing, you know.

You use words like "fluff" to refer to feminine behavior here and sound like you are deeming it inferior behavior.

Me, I like fluffy, feminine, submissive (sexually) women with big brains and fire in their belly.

The mistake that keeps getting made around here in posts by You, Lavender, Sunstruck and the late Siren is that somehow these are "either/or" choices. They are not.

CarolineOh, for example and MissTaken are both fine examples of women who (apparently) can be submissives sexually without being anyone's doormat.

And there is nothing wrong with that.