Do lesbian/bi women have "gaydar"?

[Soulfiregirl]

Because I'm having a hell of a time trying to pick up chicks at the grocery store. I can't tell you how many women I've been so damn sure might swing my way and then I hit on them and they look at me like I've got the plague. Not to stereotype but gay men tend to be a little more "obvious". But how do you pick up "gay" vibes from women out in the "straight" world without having to go to a lesbian nightclub or Internet site? Seriously, where the hell are all the lovely dykes? Because I sure am not running into them.

Maybe my weakness is that I like "girlie" lesbian/bi women. I don't go for the "butch" type. (I know, I know, not all lesbians are butch and not all straight women are girle)

*sigh*


I've tried a million Internet dating sites since I first joined here months ago and I'm having shit for luck as far as finding what I want. So I thought I'd try "flirting" with women in the "real world". And boy, is that backfiring on me. Yeesh. What's a girl gotta do to get some pussy these days huh? lol.

 

[xxfactor]

My advice? My girlfriend is bi - and I highly recommend the club/lounge scene (in the City). Women in those environments have a tendency to be much more open and uninhibited about their interests

 

[RavenousRae]

I'm right with you - I can't find them either, or if by chance I happen to meet someone then they are already with someone. I wish you luck!

 

[Meat Whistler]

I must admit to having a hard time reading women as of late. There is a woman at my bank that just gives me the 'I want you' vibe, but I can't really tell. I get the impression that I'm not her type and she definitely isn't mine, but the way she looks at me and talks to me makes me think otherwise.

Fuck if I know!

 

[John Doe]

To be honest I think most people would look at you funny if you hit on them in a grocery store.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I can usually tell

and have managed to pick up females in the weirdest places: a hospital, a friggin dollar store...hell I even managed to get numbers and dates from my place of work. That being said, I do know I have *gaydar*..dings at me all the damn time.
I guess it depends on the other person's frame of mind...and the amount of confidence one exudes.

wish I could be more helpful...

 

[WyldSpirit]

Of course women have "gaydar". Although, like you, mine has been so on the fritz lately I'm beginning to think it's broken

So, seriously, why don't you want to do the club scene? I know it isn't for everyone, I tend to get pretty shy when it comes to the clubs, but they are a sure fire way to know who's going for who, or atleast make sure that you're not going to be looked at like a freak for hitting on a sexy woman. Other than that, I don't know, you could try making sure you have some obvious "signs" like the rainbows and I don't know.. t-shirts saying carpet muncher if you want to be THAT obvious LOL (Just kidding). I'd tend to go for something more subtle than a t-shirt and more obvious than an earring hidden behind your hair Maybe some buttons or something to hang on your purse? I know that looking can be frustrating, that's why I've tended to stick to looking online, personally I've always had pretty decent luck that way.

Good luck in your search, I hope it starts going better for you soon!

 

[rakastuja]

To be honest I think most people would look at you funny if you hit on them in a grocery store.

Yes. Though opportunity dont always ask time and place.

Personally I do get "positive" or "negative" vibes from girls but nothing more. However, after some eye contacts and chatting I usually can seem to tell quite well if they are possibly interested.

But I have learned it can be "gay & not interested" and "straight & flattered by attention" too. So I guess better not to get to straight in business. Also its good to remember that some people are in closet. They can get scared if you approach them in grocery store where all their neighbors are.

 

[robbie_boy1]

do any have a bidar going on? lol I do

 

[MintSoda]

I think there's something going on with the tides or moon or something electrical lately that has been messing with gaydar. I used to have a very nicely attuned sense for gay/bi/straight, but lately I've been very wrong and very embarassed as well.

I had way better luck in college.

I know the feeling about the butch/femme thing not being your thing. I've been to the club scene and bars, but I only ever get hit on by butches, big scary butches. Yikes, no thanks to that. What's more they seem to get territorial with each other about "femmes" or "bitches"....by the way, I'm not a big fan of being called either by a bulldyke. I'd say pick your club or bar carefully.

 

[Xectxny19X]

Bidar? *smiles* Don't I wish I had some of that?!!! eeehhhh... Since I know the pain in wondering if a certain person floats my way or not, I wear some pride on me or around me to help others out! Though I wish it didn't have to be that way in my situation, it's the only thing that works for me outside the GLBT community-related events and bar/lounge/club scenes.

 

[RavenousRae]

Bidar? *smiles* Don't I wish I had some of that?!!! eeehhhh... Since I know the pain in wondering if a certain person floats my way or not, I wear some pride on me or around me to help others out! Though I wish it didn't have to be that way in my situation, it's the only thing works for me outside the GLBT community-related events and bar/lounge/club scenes.

I wish I knew which bars etc you went to, I'd make a special trip.

 

[Pocahontas_25]

gaydar broken???

it seems to me that a lot more women now are bicurious and that gets confusing. I am a happy bi fem/girlie. if you are looking for bi/les girls check out the medical scene a lot of cnas and nurses are les/bi. at least where i work. good luck

 

[DevineDD]

I can't tell

They always find me

 

[Frimost]

I have a good gaydar for bi chicks, I always seem to find them at work, bars, whatever.

I could describe the type, but that might not be enough for you.

You could always take a friend, a wingman (or wing woman) to a bar or club to help you find and hook-up with another woman. Hell I would play wingman to a girl trying to pick up other women, it sounds like fun and there would not be the envy involved if I didn't find any myself that night like there is when two guys go out and only one goes home.

I know at least six bi women in my area alone, not as close friends but as acquaintances, I always seem to be bumping into them (bi women) at college or work so you shouldn’t have so much trouble since we both live in the same area.
I might be able to hook you up with one if you wanted.

 

[kbate]

We actually have a special way of walking that tells others of like persuasion who we are. We use a secret handshake for confirmation.

If you were truly gay or bi you would know all of this.

for shame sneaking in here seeking our secrets.


(or you could do like I do and wear a tiny rainbow lapel pin when you go out looking)

 

[Angel]

It works the same way as if you were straight. If you're interested, check them out.

If a chick is checking you out, she's interested.

Or in casually talking to a person, the same way a guy gives off the lets fuck vibe, so will a girl.

 

[DarkDuchess]

Because I'm having a hell of a time trying to pick up chicks at the grocery store. I can't tell you how many women I've been so damn sure might swing my way and then I hit on them and they look at me like I've got the plague. Not to stereotype but gay men tend to be a little more "obvious". But how do you pick up "gay" vibes from women out in the "straight" world without having to go to a lesbian nightclub or Internet site? Seriously, where the hell are all the lovely dykes? Because I sure am not running into them.

Maybe my weakness is that I like "girlie" lesbian/bi women. I don't go for the "butch" type. (I know, I know, not all lesbians are butch and not all straight women are girle)

*sigh*


I've tried a million Internet dating sites since I first joined here months ago and I'm having shit for luck as far as finding what I want. So I thought I'd try "flirting" with women in the "real world". And boy, is that backfiring on me. Yeesh. What's a girl gotta do to get some pussy these days huh? lol.

I actually, did meet someone at the grocery store. Dillons...and the irony of it, was we were in the meat section....

I wish you well in your hunt for puss.

 

[snowy ciara]

I meet lots of wonderfully sexy gay ladies at the local feminist bookstore; a few have even been available. Some day I'll maybe get brave enough to ask one out. Don't hold your breath though, unless you look good in blue.

 

[MintSoda]

I meet lots of wonderfully sexy gay ladies at the local feminist bookstore; a few have even been available. Some day I'll maybe get brave enough to ask one out. Don't hold your breath though, unless you look good in blue.

Book stores in general are good places to meet women. It's nice that they have it all sectioned out for you already too. I love poetry section women. Coffee houses are also really good, if you can find a coffee house attatched to a feminist book store...wow.

 

[Never]

I have an idea that I'm working on, which means I'm sitting around doing nothing instead of out testing it.

Anyways, said idea is that you write down a list of interests, maybe five. Of those five interests, find five 'casual' places in your city associated with it. A good example is the post above; if you like to read then hang out at a feminist bookstore. Ummm, like the outdoors? You could join a hiking club. Most activities have groups/places surrounding them and female friendly or female only versions are double plus good.

Now, once you're there, have fun. Get to know the people there, male and female. If a girl catches your eye then try to be her friend. Friends take about sex in stuff. (I know. I had one) It's a much more natural process than just hitting on people in stores, you know?

 

[sexy-girl]

Now, once you're there, have fun. Get to know the people there, male and female. If a girl catches your eye then try to be her friend. Friends take about sex in stuff. (I know. I had one) It's a much more natural process than just hitting on people in stores, you know?

that might just be crazy enough to work

but yeah the best way to meet someone special is to meet as many people as possible

i suppose though that method sometimes can be time consuming especially when your special someone is a minority

and in that case it might be better for some people to use the same method but meet as many people of that minority that you can until you find your special someone

If a chick is checking you out, she's interested.

that was the form of gaydar that worked for me ... wow this girl is kissing me ... maybe shes gay

 

[snowy ciara]

Book stores in general are good places to meet women. It's nice that they have it all sectioned out for you already too. I love poetry section women. Coffee houses are also really good, if you can find a coffee house attatched to a feminist book store...wow.

Ooh, another good one. After you've purchased a properly gay book, go somewhere like a coffee house or park where there's soccer (or your sport of choice) happening, and read it. And enjoy the flirts and be much braver than I am. Flirt back! I found Girljock to be a most effective tome for this venture.

 

[MintSoda]

Ooh, another good one. After you've purchased a properly gay book, go somewhere like a coffee house or park where there's soccer (or your sport of choice) happening, and read it. And enjoy the flirts and be much braver than I am. Flirt back! I found Girljock to be a most effective tome for this venture.

That's a great point, you don't actually have to play sports to find athletic women. I went to a friend's softball game and just watched. I have all the athletic ability and coordination of a drunk albatross so playing was out of the question, so I half watched/half spent my time sketching and after the game the other team's short stop came over to talk to me because she noticed my drawings and was curious.

 

[Pookie]

It works the same way as if you were straight. If you're interested, check them out.

If a chick is checking you out, she's interested.

Or in casually talking to a person, the same way a guy gives off the lets fuck vibe, so will a girl.

*nods*