Divorced/Separated Support Thread.

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

I just spoke with my ex and he told me his friends and his new gf told him it would be better if I won't name him as a father of our second child. They said if I won't name him as a daddy of our child I'll get more cash (whats totaly bullshit haha, if I do that I won't get almost any cash at all, they will treat me like some whore who don't remeber who fucked her and made her pregnant lol.)

I love it how everybody cares of my best. *chuckles*

My ex keep suprising me he really does...

 

[FurryFury]

I'm glad you see through all that.

*HUG*

 

[bholderman]

FUCK!

Have you ever just wanted to say.... "FUCK." Because that pretty much sums up how you feel about everything?

 

[intothewoods]

Have you ever just wanted to say.... "FUCK." Because that pretty much sums up how you feel about everything?

Yes! Today was a hellish morning, although shit, I am suck a whiny bitch. I mean, geez, there are single moms with harder lives than me. But at least once a week I want to lie on my couch and do like a Nancy Kerrigan WHYYYYY??? WHHYYYYYY MEEEE??????

Ha ha ha. I'm such a doufus. On a positive note, Mister Man offered to open the $50 bottle of wine tonight to cheer me up. Isn't he sweet? I said no, let's save it for a better occasion, but he's such a good guy.

 

[coy_one]

Monday I may actually be divorced. We go to court.

Holy shit. The nightmare may be over before end of business day. I'm elated and dumbfounded all at once.

 

[firespin]

Monday I may actually be divorced. We go to court.

Holy shit. The nightmare may be over before end of business day. I'm elated and dumbfounded all at once.

Awesome! I hope it goes well. Maybe you can celebrate

 

[intothewoods]

Monday I may actually be divorced. We go to court.

Holy shit. The nightmare may be over before end of business day. I'm elated and dumbfounded all at once.

Wow, coy, that's great!

 

[catalina_francisco]

I just spoke with my ex and he told me his friends and his new gf told him it would be better if I won't name him as a father of our second child. They said if I won't name him as a daddy of our child I'll get more cash (whats totaly bullshit haha, if I do that I won't get almost any cash at all, they will treat me like some whore who don't remeber who fucked her and made her pregnant lol.)

I love it how everybody cares of my best. *chuckles*

My ex keep suprising me he really does...

With each gesture he does to bring you down, he just reaffirms for you how much better off you are going to be once you are free of him...does sort of make him look stupid though doesn't it, thinking you would fall for such a weak and lousy trick?!!

Catalina

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

With each gesture he does to bring you down, he just reaffirms for you how much better off you are going to be once you are free of him...does sort of make him look stupid though doesn't it, thinking you would fall for such a weak and lousy trick?!!

Catalina

Yeh, lousy trick that was. He really dissapointed me... not just cuz he left me, but with asking me to not name him as a father of our child while he was so happy about it when we found out I am pregnant., oh well its gone.

I hate to say it, but I am so much better without him...

 

[bholderman]

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fuck.

I feel better now, thanks.

 

[coy_one]

Awesome! I hope it goes well. Maybe you can celebrate

That would be a fucking hoot.

 

[Bandit58]

Monday I may actually be divorced. We go to court.

Holy shit. The nightmare may be over before end of business day. I'm elated and dumbfounded all at once.

Just be prepared for some mixed feelings when it finally does go through.

I had to wait 2 years from the date of separation before I could apply for a dissolution (stupid NZ law ). When the decree finally arrived in the mail, it was a bit of a letdown. I felt kind of numb really. 23 years of marriage and it was all over just like that....much as I wanted to be out of it and rid of him, it was more than half my life that piece of paper represented.

It's also ironic that it arrived on the anniversary of the day that Sir and I first met in r/l.....

 

[minx1]

Just be prepared for some mixed feelings when it finally does go through.

I had to wait 2 years from the date of separation before I could apply for a dissolution (stupid NZ law ). When the decree finally arrived in the mail, it was a bit of a letdown. I felt kind of numb really. 23 years of marriage and it was all over just like that....much as I wanted to be out of it and rid of him, it was more than half my life that piece of paper represented.

It's also ironic that it arrived on the anniversary of the day that Sir and I first met in r/l.....

Yeah same here Bandit. My decree absolut arrived after about 2.5 years after we separated. Those two years had been terrible with various things coming to light about him. It was a very public split within our 'work sphere' and there were countless trips to court to sit across from him and his new partner who were living in my home, whilst they tried to claim more money for themselves.

I thought I was well over the marriage and our time together, when the absolut arrived lol. So my mixed reaction took me a little by surprise. I cried, felt numb, cried some more, danced around the house and then went out, met some friends and danced some more *smile* Basically I was all over the place....only for a day or so though.
Friends got me happy divorce cards lol....the intention was good, but the timing slightly out *laugh*. It was a little too raw to be drinking champagne and celebrating new beginnings, though it wasn't really that long afterwards that I was ready to do that. I remember waking up one morning feeling happy...elated; i just lay there giggling. For the first time I was excited..i had that feeling that the world was my oyster...I could do anything. That day I had champagne *laugh*

 

[chris9]

I've found that feeling bad about my break-up (a little over a year ago) comes and goes. I'm pretty certain that the times I feel good about me and about my life increase and the times that everything sucks get less and less. And for the last two or three down phases I've thought that this surely is the last time I feel that crappy...
I've also found that over the time my thoughts and longings in the down times have changed. At first I basically wanted that "all this" had never happened. After that I longed for him. The last time I was 'just' missing a relationship, not with him or anyone else in particular, just being in one. This time passed as well and I'm certain it was the last time I felt down because of my past relationship

 

[catalina_francisco]

I wonder what it is which seems to give us these unique feelings when a divorce is final. Seriously, it doesn't always seem to make sense at all. I have been in a live in relationship which eventually ended, I have been in relationships which lasted years and were serious and basically that close to being married it almost seemed as much, and yet none have left me with quite the same negative feelings as divorce did when they ended. They left me with sadness, feeling lost for a bit, disappoinment, but still not the same as divorce. I for the life of me cannot understand why we tend to feel the way we do, especially when we are in the position to feel relieved it is finally over.

Catalina

 

[popcorn2721]

I know some of us are going through this - your level of comfort as to the details you divulge are to your own level.

Just figured it might be a nice place to have a place where you don't feel so alone.

Or, a place to also trade ideas while going through property settlement.

Maybe even a great place to bitch about how your attorney never calls back? (this is so my world).

I've been going through separation since July of 2006, so over a year and almost a half at this point with no end in sight. We were supposed to go to court November 5th, but that was cancelled.
He wants to settle outside of court, but has this problem with compromise. He doesn't want to do it.

Financially, it's killing me the longer this is drawn out. It's not like I'm asking for the moon either.

I'm just at my wit's end. http://yelims3.free.fr/Grrrrrrrrrrrr/Grrrr33.gif

Mrs Popcorn was involved in a nasty 4 year divorce when I met her. She wasn't asking for anything either, the mother-fucker just thought he had to be an ass to make everything as painful and difficult as he possibly could. Hell, the "ex's" attorney even hated him. I have been on the sideline during an exchange. I have to say that Im sorry your having to go through it.


When it was over and she won, Mrs P felt like she had a new lease on life...then we got married.

 

[coy_one]

I wonder what it is which seems to give us these unique feelings when a divorce is final. Seriously, it doesn't always seem to make sense at all. I have been in a live in relationship which eventually ended, I have been in relationships which lasted years and were serious and basically that close to being married it almost seemed as much, and yet none have left me with quite the same negative feelings as divorce did when they ended. They left me with sadness, feeling lost for a bit, disappoinment, but still not the same as divorce. I for the life of me cannot understand why we tend to feel the way we do, especially when we are in the position to feel relieved it is finally over.

Catalina

I'm wondering if it has anything to do with the way that marriage is defined, as opposed to just being in a relationship.
I felt that my marriage was a sacred union, that I made vows in front of family and friends. It is much different than the relationships that I had. When the marriage was over, it wasn't as casual telling the family. In some ways, it was hard to even tell them it was over.
Also, I know in my own experience, that the financial aspect has been much uglier and trickier, because of the legality of it all. I just couldn't up and move from the house, because it was considered an asset, and it couldn't be dissolved without some sort of legal document. The entanglement of the legal aspect of divorce has drawn this out longer than it needed to really be.

I also had hopes and dreams about the marriage. I felt that I was giving up. I felt that this vow was something not to be broken, but here I was breaking it. Then, there was no longer the idea that the two of us were working as a partnership. I did enjoy knowing he was in bed next to me each night.

Those are just my thoughts on it.

 

[firespin]

That would be a fucking hoot.

Check your calendar and let me know

 

[coy_one]

Guess who is now divorced.

If you guessed me - you would be correct.

I cried through the entire court hearing. All I could think of was our wedding day and how happy we were.

He didn't even look at me. His attorney was the bitter shrew she always is...

My own family turned their backs against me today. No one was there for me.

I feel like celebrating and crying in my pillow all at once. This is confusing.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Guess who is now divorced.

If you guessed me - you would be correct.

I cried through the entire court hearing. All I could think of was our wedding day and how happy we were.

He didn't even look at me. His attorney was the bitter shrew she always is...

My own family turned their backs against me today. No one was there for me.

I feel like celebrating and crying in my pillow all at once. This is confusing.

Congratulations, and hugs. I remember how it felt when my family wasn't there either. I dropped my children off at school and made my way to the courthouse alone, went in alone, came out alone and went home to an empty house...from memory my mother phoned that night to see if it had gone smoothly basically, and my sisters just ignored it. I now have a sister who might be facing her own divorce and have tried to be supportive despite the oceans in between and she is grateful but I think forgets her silence when I went through it much younger and with 2 small children to raise alone. I survived so I guess that is what counted. I hope you are feeling better soon.


Catalina

 

[intothewoods]

Guess who is now divorced.

If you guessed me - you would be correct.

I cried through the entire court hearing. All I could think of was our wedding day and how happy we were.

He didn't even look at me. His attorney was the bitter shrew she always is...

My own family turned their backs against me today. No one was there for me.

I feel like celebrating and crying in my pillow all at once. This is confusing.

Oh coy. That sucks. I mean, that's great, but that sucks. Why did your family turn your back against you? That's awful.

 

[bholderman]

So yesterday, I finally filed the paperwork for a legal separation.

What a grand Christmas present Im getting this year. I feel like I am doing all the right things, but now the woman I love has become an advesary. With that, the underlying feeling that I am becoming a villain disturbs me.

This whole thing sucks.

 

[Kajira Callista]

So yesterday, I finally filed the paperwork for a legal separation.

What a grand Christmas present Im getting this year. I feel like I am doing all the right things, but now the woman I love has become an advesary. With that, the underlying feeling that I am becoming a villain disturbs me.

This whole thing sucks.

Yep...it does. No matter how hard I try I can't get past the "what could I have done differently to make this not be happening right now" feeling.

 

[intothewoods]

Yep...it does. No matter how hard I try I can't get past the "what could I have done differently to make this not be happening right now" feeling.

Me too.

 

[EmpressFi]

*hugs you all*

extra big hugs