divorce...too easy?

[greybeard]

Re: Re: divorce...too easy?

If getting married were as difficult and required as much soul searching as getting a divorce done, you would see a lot less of both.

see.......I think getting married should involve some serious soul searching..........and the decision to have children even a deeper introspection on the the part of the partners..........and an honest realization that things may change with time...........and just talk the hell out of it..........and be honest and open...........I feel it is a serious personal responsibility thing..........and would hate to see some "regulations" put in place to try and ensure some compliance..................and in a perfect world, we would all be very pretty...........but we should think real hard about our actions.........

greybeard

 

[Rambrat]

Re: Re: Re: divorce...too easy?

see.......I think getting married should involve some serious soul searching..........and the decision to have children even a deeper introspection on the the part of the partners..........and an honest realization that things may change with time...........and just talk the hell out of it..........and be honest and open...........I feel it is a serious personal responsibility thing..........and would hate to see some "regulations" put in place to try and ensure some compliance..................and in a perfect world, we would all be very pretty...........but we should think real hard about our actions.........

greybeard

That doesn't guarantee that one party won't do a 360 on your well laid out plans.

The trouble is that no one wants to compremise or work at a relationship equally.

 

[paganangel]

Re: Re: divorce...too easy?

In my experience, divorce is not too easy. What is too easy is marriage.

this is exatly the attitude that pisses me off. there is no responsibility in this country. (i'm talking about things other than divorce, but that too.) it is NO ONE'S right to tell two people whether or not they can get married...but they areentering into acontract beyond all other contracts. we cannot makethis clear eough to people because in general it is a contract too easy to get out of.

i know it's emotionally trying, and i know the marriage was to begin with, but frankly...too fucking bad...you made your bed.

Sure, let's keep two mismatched people together who hid behind a mask until they accomplished some fucked up scene to acquired property or who knows what or married too young to know exactly what they wanted.

- rambrat

i can live with that.

 

[greybeard]

Re: Re: Re: Re: divorce...too easy?

That doesn't guarantee that one party won't do a 360 on your well laid out plans.

The trouble is that no one wants to compremise or work at a relationship equally.

certainly......there are no guarantees..........but there needs to be a gut check that if things do changes, are we ready to deal with that as adults..................

greybeard

 

[Rambrat]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: divorce...too easy?

certainly......there are no guarantees..........but there needs to be a gut check that if things do changes, are we ready to deal with that as adults..................

greybeard

I think as adults, we can deal with the little mishaps...but let's say paganangel decides to treat Honeylicks head like a soccer ball...she may have a legitimate complaint...

I'm not sure it's a gut feeling or not...depends on whether he kicked lower...

 

[paganangel]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: divorce...too easy?

I think as adults, we can deal with the little mishaps...but let's say paganangel decides to treat Honeylicks head like a soccer ball...she may have a legitimate complaint...

I'm not sure it's a gut feeling or not...depends on whether he kicked lower...

or she might like it. and again generally.

 

[greybeard]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: divorce...too easy?

I think as adults, we can deal with the little mishaps...but let's say paganangel decides to treat Honeylicks head like a soccer ball...she may have a legitimate complaint...

I'm not sure it's a gut feeling or not...depends on whether he kicked lower...

what I meant was that when we enter into a mariage situation, that we consider and realise that things can change.............and that we may be required to make those hard choices................and given recent history..........Honeylick's stringing along paganangel.........while entertaining...........might just justify a gentle drop kick...................

greybeard

 

[SouthernBBW]

I'm not sure the real issue is how easy getting divorced is (especially since it is not easy at all). I think part of the problem today is, so many people go into marriage with the mindset that, if it isn't a storybook situation, they'll just get divorced.

That is not to say that there are not couples (or individuals) who try their dambdest. There are times when someone has given everything they have and divorce is still the best option.....but I seriously doubt that is the case with the majority of today's divorces. I think most people don't try as hard as they should.

Rather than blaming the complexity, or lack thereof, of the process of divorce, I think the blame lies with today's society.

Just my humble opinion....

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

Re: Re: Re: divorce...too easy?

this is exatly the attitude that pisses me off. there is no responsibility in this country. (i'm talking about things other than divorce, but that too.) it is NO ONE'S right to tell two people whether or not they can get married...but they areentering into acontract beyond all other contracts. we cannot makethis clear eough to people because in general it is a contract too easy to get out of.

i know it's emotionally trying, and i know the marriage was to begin with, but frankly...too fucking bad...you made your bed.

Uh. Actually, if the last sentence was directed to me personally, the bed I am in is just fine.

I tend to differ with you on whether or not it is "No one's right" to tell two people whether or not they can get married. There are all sorts of terms and conditions on getting married. Even a simple civil marriage requires a license.

I do agree that marriage is a contract beyond other contracts, morality aside, it has all sorts of legal ramifications. It is for this reason that it should be made more difficult to enter into. Hell, its often tougher to get a business license then it is to get married, and a business dissolution has less long term effects than a marital dissolution.

 

[paganangel]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: divorce...too easy?

what I meant was that when we enter into a mariage situation, that we consider and realise that things can change.............and that we may be required to make those hard choices................and given recent history..........Honeylick's stringing along paganangel.........while entertaining...........might just justify a gentle drop kick...................

greybeard

stringing along?! let me ask you something...do you like apples?

 

[Rambrat]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: divorce...too easy?

what I meant was that when we enter into a mariage situation, that we consider and realise that things can change.............and that we may be required to make those hard choices................and given recent history..........Honeylick's stringing along paganangel.........while entertaining...........might just justify a gentle drop kick...................

greybeard

Lol...good point

 

[greybeard]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: divorce...too easy?

stringing along?! let me ask you something...do you like apples?

yea......me and those other 900+ chumps right behind you...........she's got the whole board wrapped................

greybeard

 

[Rambrat]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: divorce...too easy?

yea......me and those other 900+ chumps right behind you...........she's got the whole board wrapped................

greybeard

I knew she was evil.

 

[penguindance]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: divorce...too easy?

 

[paganangel]

Re: Re: Re: Re: divorce...too easy?

Uh. Actually, if the last sentence was directed to me personally, the bed I am in is just fine.

I tend to differ with you on whether or not it is "No one's right" to tell two people whether or not they can get married. There are all sorts of terms and conditions on getting married. Even a simple civil marriage requires a license.

I do agree that marriage is a contract beyond other contracts, morality aside, it has all sorts of legal ramifications. It is for this reason that it should be made more difficult to enter into. Hell, its often tougher to get a business license then it is to get married, and a business dissolution has less long term effects than a marital dissolution.

1. not you personally.
2. it shouldn't require a license, just registration...blood test etc. maybe.
3. so what if there are legal ramifications. it's not like they aren't spelled out. in all situations i am against the government telling me i am too stupid to make a decision even when the info is provided 4 me. should it be harder to vote, drive a car...nevermind.

 

[paganangel]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: divorce...too easy?

yea......me and those other 900+ chumps right behind you...........she's got the whole board wrapped................

greybeard

"well i got her #. how d'ya like them apples?" -will hunting

 

[penguindance]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: divorce...too easy?

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: divorce...too easy?

in all situations i am against the government telling me i am too stupid to make a decision even when the info is provided 4 me. should it be harder to vote, drive a car...nevermind.

Okay. Assuming the validity of your position, I have one question.


Who is to make the divorce process more difficult? Is that not the government telling you that you are too stupid to make the decision to get divorced?

 

[Calamity Jane]

The 'process' of getting married took a 10 minute trip to the courthouse for a license, a 48 hour waiting period, and a 15 minute ceremony. Even if you count planning time and all of that, it only took 3 weeks. We mailed the license in on our way out of town.

The process of a divorce, even if it's completely uncontested and we agree on absolutely every minute detail will take 3 to 6 months. And that's AFTER you've agonized over the decision, sometimes for years.

Which do you suppose is easier?

 

[paganangel]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: divorce...too easy?

Okay. Assuming the validity of your position, I have one question.


Who is to make the divorce process more difficult? Is that not the government telling you that you are too stupid to make the decision to get divorced?

actually yes. it's not that they are telling you that you are too stupid to get divorced, it's that the enterd into the contract beyond contracts remember? to dissolve it should take a lot more han "because we want to and it's our lives"> b/c it isn't their lives anymore...they became a symbiotic organism so to speak. conjoined.

that being said, know that going in...different? only if your smart. if u are stupid...suffer.

and b4 i get beat to hell, if there's a poison, there's a poison. after you've tried the medicine and there is threat of injury or death...hey, just like a real organism...amputation.

 

[paganangel]

The 'process' of getting married took a 10 minute trip to the courthouse for a license, a 48 hour waiting period, and a 15 minute ceremony. Even if you count planning time and all of that, it only took 3 weeks. We mailed the license in on our way out of town.

The process of a divorce, even if it's completely uncontested and we agree on absolutely every minute detail will take 3 to 6 months. And that's AFTER you've agonized over the decision, sometimes for years.

Which do you suppose is easier?

doesn't mean divorce isn't too easy.

 

[honeylick]

glad to see im still fluffy while engaging in my commute home.
-wry grin-

 

[Calamity Jane]

doesn't mean divorce isn't too easy.

But what are you basing your assumption on? You've never personally been divorced... and I don't think watching others get divorced gives you enough information to make broad assumptions about the easiness of the act.

How difficult do you think it should be? And why do you thin kit should be difficult at all? The dissolution of a contract is the dissolution of a contract. Why should one be more difficult to end than any other?

If the government shouldn't be allowed to tell you what you can and cannot do, should we abolish marriage, and then we wouldn't have divorces?

Should people be less civil during a divorce so it's harder to accomplish?

 

[paganangel]

But what are you basing your assumption on?
what assumtion?

You've never personally been divorced... and I don't think watching others get divorced gives you enough information to make broad assumptions about the easiness of the act.
nope, but i came close to marriage several times and backed out because i don't believ in divorce. with that as a hard rule i really could look at things in perspective. the argument of "oh you haven't been there" is ridiculous in ANY debate.

How difficult do you think it should be?
nearly impossible

And why do you thin kit should be difficult at all?
what's the point of marriage if divorce is easy? simple, the point is to forge an UNENDING bond. always has been.

The dissolution of a contract is the dissolution of a contract. Why should one be more difficult to end than any other?
i've already answered this. if you think of marriage as a simple contract, u don't know what it is. don't get married.

If the government shouldn't be allowed to tell you what you can and cannot do, should we abolish marriage, and then we wouldn't have divorces?
cartesian logic

Should people be less civil during a divorce so it's harder to accomplish?
i can live with that. i know that's how i'd play it if it were my only option to keep the marriage together. [/QUOTE

 

[Chuckus]

There is a quote I've seen around on billboards in my local......it reads this "Nice wedding, invite me to the Marriage - God"

IMHO, both marriage and divorce are way to easy to get into and out of.........I have been married, that in and of itself was easy to get married. Sure there are hoops to jump thru, i.e. conseling (if you choose), legal documents and the like. There is alot of effort in and of itself choosing to get married...........if you are going to get married at a particular church they MAY require you to get some conseling of some sort or another; but in most states if your over 18 (some 16 or 21) you can sign on the line and get married any given day.

Divorce on the other hand, is a bail out for some. For others who truly are in a bad situation (i.e. neglect, abuse, cheating) or in true need of seperation (truly find out you are completely incompatible) and divorce it is a God send to be able to get divorced. Divorce requires little to no effort IF you don't have children or alot of shared assets (houses, property, etc...) and the situation is NOT contested. However IF there is alot of shared assets and children, etc.........it becomes very very messy.

IMHO I think they are both marriage and divorces are way to easy in general and people take it way too lightly when they say "I DO" and "I want out", no real accountability or "seriousness" in MOST situations or some situations. Some just want out for selfish reasons or reasons that make no sense so they just "bail".


Just for the record, I am happily divorced...........over 6 years now. I was one of the ones who didn't "bail" rather tried to work things out, who went to all the pre marriage conseling and really honestly took alot of time to think things over and talk things out and in the end it just didn't pan out.

Interesting topic.