Divorce Questions

[YellowShirt]

This will be long, and I know I'll get more help from anyone on this site, so please bear with me.
I'm being separated from the Navy (I'm stationed in SC), so I'm leaving to move home to Missouri next week. My husband (it's been a great week), is also leaving me, and he has already moved home. My questions are about our cars.
The Isuzu is SC plates, my name only on the title. The Honda is MO plates, both names on title, his listed first. He went home with the Isuzu, and I kept the Honda, but no titles were signed yet.
I want the Isuzu back, to sell it, and I want to keep the Honda too. (He's being a jerk, I'm going to be a jerk back). I plan on seeing a lawyer about all this once I get home but I thought maybe you all might have some ideas on what I can do about titles and things. I've already cancelled his insurance and I'm really close to reporting it stolen but since both our names are on the Honda I want to be careful so I don't lose it. (The Isuzu's worth a lot less, and a beast that I can't drive).
I know he seems like I'm being viscious, but this one is going to be messy and I don't really have a choice but to fight back or I'll get taken. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

 

[FurryFury]

divorces are brutal. I've been there so I know.

Now, let me understand this book cars are paid for?

One you can drive, is worth more and has both names on the title. That is the one he left, right?

The other you don't like to drive, is only in your name and is worth less?

In that case, I'd say, let him have the car in your name when he signs over the title of the car you do like to your name. You both need a car and will likely have some money worries when this is all over.

You don't have to be "nice" but you don't have to do things that make no sense either.

Remember keep your friends close and your enemies closer. You can't fuck em over when they know the dagger is already aimed for their backs. Think mean, but as long as you can seem reasonable and nice, and be careful pick ing your battles.

That is my 2 cents.

Fury

 

[FallenAngelsSlut]

If you report it stolen nothing will happen since both names are on it.

 

[YellowShirt]

I'll clarify that little part, I want to report the Isuzu stolen, but I'm afraid if I do he'll do something to take the Honda from me.
And us keeping the cars seperately and signing names over peacefully was the original plan, but that was before he started being an ass. Thanks for the advice anyway, keep it coming!

 

[SweetErika]

I'm sorry you're having a rough time.

I agree with Fury here though...it seems prudent to let him have the car since it's not worth much or the one you drive, and stick it to him somewhere else (I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunities). You might also be able to capitalize on your "niceness" on this issue in the future. At any rate, your best course of action is probably going to be to wait until you discuss this with your lawyer...get a bloodthirsty one who will know exactly how to make this most advantageous for you.

 

[pandoravampire]

Your both about to be asses.
Imagine the energy that you are investing in your PAST here. Shouldnt that go to your future? Why invest energy in something that is a has been? doesnt make sense does it.
You both have a car. Keep it sweet, the recovery and grief for the loss of a dream relationship is easier to recover from that way.
Hurtful letters, emails, sms's - dont respond to them.
Always remain sort of 'professional' with your ex. Keep your cool, do not allow him to rile you up. Coz that's again, wasted energy. Save your energy for your future.

If you do get angry, wait till you are calmer before you plan your next move.

Think of your ended relationship as a sucking parasitic organism, if you pick it up and run with it, it will drain you. Dont pick it up again.

Reporting a car stolen when it has not been, could end up with you being prosecuted for wasting police time, fraud etc. And that is what you'd deserve as that is the crime you would be commiting. Youve allready said you agreed on the car split that you have. So there was no theft. Just coz you changed your mind, doesnt mean he has to. Just leave it, move on.

Your on your own now, go create a life for yourself that will bring you positive experiences gallore. Now that is worth investing energy into i reckon.

Be well, be sane, be divorced quickly.

 

[Eilan]

I want the Isuzu back, to sell it, and I want to keep the Honda too. (He's being a jerk, I'm going to be a jerk back). I plan on seeing a lawyer about all this once I get home but I thought maybe you all might have some ideas on what I can do about titles and things. I've already cancelled his insurance and I'm really close to reporting it stolen but since both our names are on the Honda I want to be careful so I don't lose it. (The Isuzu's worth a lot less, and a beast that I can't drive).

I don't know if MO or SC have similar laws, but Ohio distinguishes between theft of a motor vehicle and unauthorized use of a motor vehicle, the latter being the lesser of the two charges. The laws do vary according to state, though, so you'll want to check on this.

When a couple is married, it's generally assumed that both partners have "permission" to drive whatever vehicles the couple owns, regardless of whose name is on the title. Did you specifically tell him that he couldn't take the Isuzu when he left? If you didn't tell him not to take the Isuzu and you reported it stolen, the you could find yourself in trouble for filing a false police report. You can, however, get in touch with him and tell him to bring the Isuzu back. Then, if he refuses, you can file charges against him because the car's in your name.

And, honestly, while canceling his auto insurance might seem like an amusing thing to do, if he's involved in an accident during this time (and doesn't have insurance) and he's sued, that might cause some pretty big problems for both of you.

You need an attorney. Don't try to sort anything out with titles on your own, because you might end up in hot water.

 

[incubus'_sub]

I know that all of this seems important now, but in a couple of years you will look back & wonder how you could be so silly.

Get a lawyer & leave the settlement to them. Pulling nasty stunts might feel good in the short term, but will only make him more determined to "make you pay"!

Learn from this. My fiance left his marriage with a car, his personal property & a TV set. He left his house to his former wife to keep (was just pleased to get out with his life! ).

She started court action to recover everything. Was sacked by 4 different lawyers because she wouldn't see sense ie it was not all hers.

2 years & about $40,000 (solicitor & court fees) later she was forced to settle. She had to pay him for his share of the marital property, another $35,000. Now, she has a huge mortgage & a constant headache.

Don't make the same mistake.

 

[YellowShirt]

Thanks for the advice. It wasn't exactly what I orignally wanted, but you are all right. Me being civil in our communications is going to be the biggest feat for me, but I do know it is neccessary. So, I'll be back home in MO this coming Friday, and my first stop will be that bloodthirsty lawyer. I'm just going to leave it all up to them, I obviously don't know what I'm doing here and I don't want to be out all that money like your fiancee's ex!

 

[Eilan]

Thanks for the advice. It wasn't exactly what I orignally wanted, but you are all right.

Sorry we couldn't help with the validation, but you're really better off not letting things get any uglier than they're already going to get.

Perhaps living well is the best revenge.

 

[FallenAngel3]

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