Distance Domination-Support Thread

[ecstaticsub]

I will miss all you Guys and girls.. =0) but I figured I might as well update you again since something drastic has changed...

SIR and I moved in together.. He came to my condo and moved in.

I miss you all..

XOXOXO

I am so excited for you! Congratulations

 

[ecstaticsub]

I'm glad I saw this thread today. I am in a LDR with my Master, and it is difficult to not be with Him each day. He is only a few hours away from me, and He was my boyfriend before Master, and used to live here, so I miss Him dreadfully. He has me punish myself for Him when I have been bad, but He needs more punishments for me. He has a hard time trusting me because of my mistakes, so He would rather see me punish myself, or see the marks from it. Do y'all have any ideas for us?

Welcome to the Distance Domination thread. Daddy doesn't have me punish myself. His disappointment is punishment enough.

Hugs to you.

 

[slavebitch]

Welcome to the Distance Domination thread. Daddy doesn't have me punish myself. His disappointment is punishment enough.

Hugs to you.

I agree that His disappointment is a terrible punishment, but it is not enough for either of us. I cannot ease my guilt until I feel He has punished and forgiven me.

 

[the captians wench]

I agree that His disappointment is a terrible punishment, but it is not enough for either of us. I cannot ease my guilt until I feel He has punished and forgiven me.

I'm afraid you may not find much help here in that area. The general consensus here is that punishment and play is left for face to face encounters. I'm one of the few exceptions to that. But my feeling on punishment is much like ES's. Punishment is more for his satisfaction than any regard for my own sense of personal redemption. Nothing destroys my world like hearing him say he's disappointed in me, and nothing can make up for disappointing him. I have had to come to terms with my own issues with not being perfect, and so when he's said I'm forgiven, then it is my duty to let it go.

As I mentioned, we do play and punishments when they come up, but they are very tailored to us and our dynamic. I would suggest some soul searching and finding something that works best for you. Things him and I now do for fun, he has had other subs where it was used as punishment. So it's a very individual thing.

 

[slavebitch]

I'm afraid you may not find much help here in that area. The general consensus here is that punishment and play is left for face to face encounters. I'm one of the few exceptions to that. But my feeling on punishment is much like ES's. Punishment is more for his satisfaction than any regard for my own sense of personal redemption. Nothing destroys my world like hearing him say he's disappointed in me, and nothing can make up for disappointing him. I have had to come to terms with my own issues with not being perfect, and so when he's said I'm forgiven, then it is my duty to let it go.

As I mentioned, we do play and punishments when they come up, but they are very tailored to us and our dynamic. I would suggest some soul searching and finding something that works best for you. Things him and I now do for fun, he has had other subs where it was used as punishment. So it's a very individual thing.

For me, His disappointment would usually be enough, and while like you, nothing does make up for it, punishment eases my emotional pain because He is then happier, especially because it takes a lot of dedication and my obeying Him to punish myself, and He watches.

 

[KoPilot]

I'm afraid you may not find much help here in that area. The general consensus here is that punishment and play is left for face to face encounters. I'm one of the few exceptions to that. But my feeling on punishment is much like ES's. Punishment is more for his satisfaction than any regard for my own sense of personal redemption. Nothing destroys my world like hearing him say he's disappointed in me, and nothing can make up for disappointing him. I have had to come to terms with my own issues with not being perfect, and so when he's said I'm forgiven, then it is my duty to let it go.

As I mentioned, we do play and punishments when they come up, but they are very tailored to us and our dynamic. I would suggest some soul searching and finding something that works best for you. Things him and I now do for fun, he has had other subs where it was used as punishment. So it's a very individual thing.

Excellent advice!

 

[the captians wench]

For me, His disappointment would usually be enough, and while like you, nothing does make up for it, punishment eases my emotional pain because He is then happier, especially because it takes a lot of dedication and my obeying Him to punish myself, and He watches.

Let me just say that no one is judging you here, nor questioning your dedication or level of survitude, because I get the empression that you feel as if you have to defend yourself, and that's really not anyone's intention here.

Not many here do self punishments. I have, and honestly the only difference between our punishments and our play is the mood. As many here around the forum will tell you the same act done with different emotions behind it can have dramatically different effects.

Because of that, and because of the way people process things differently, we tend to not be as forthcoming with ideas on punishment acts as some might think we should be.

Besides all of these, Jounar has often had me come up with my own punishments, and the more creative and unique I am, the prouder he is and the more the act means.

All of these reasons add to why I said you both should really look inside of yourselves to find what punishment works for you. A lot of the time Jounar will have me do things that he has no evidence that I have done, that act is very important to our dynamic. He expects things to be done as and when he instructs them to be, and that's it. It has more to do with how we view his ownership than any act of trust or faith.

 

[slavebitch]

Let me just say that no one is judging you here, nor questioning your dedication or level of survitude, because I get the empression that you feel as if you have to defend yourself, and that's really not anyone's intention here.

Not many here do self punishments. I have, and honestly the only difference between our punishments and our play is the mood. As many here around the forum will tell you the same act done with different emotions behind it can have dramatically different effects.

Because of that, and because of the way people process things differently, we tend to not be as forthcoming with ideas on punishment acts as some might think we should be.

Besides all of these, Jounar has often had me come up with my own punishments, and the more creative and unique I am, the prouder he is and the more the act means.

All of these reasons add to why I said you both should really look inside of yourselves to find what punishment works for you. A lot of the time Jounar will have me do things that he has no evidence that I have done, that act is very important to our dynamic. He expects things to be done as and when he instructs them to be, and that's it. It has more to do with how we view his ownership than any act of trust or faith.

Thank you for your advice. I'm so glad I finally have a place I can go to and speak my feelings and be myself without judgement.

 

[the captians wench]

holidays suck.

and he doesn't even celebrate this one.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

I will miss all you Guys and girls.. =0) but I figured I might as well update you again since something drastic has changed...

SIR and I moved in together.. He came to my condo and moved in.

I miss you all..

XOXOXO

Oh thats some great news, SKL! I am so happy for you two.

Bet you love every second of living with your Sir. Big congratz and lots of joy, love and happiness to both of you!


I will follow you soon! A. is moving in with me on 7th February 2011
Cannot fu*king wait!

 

[Mine2Sir]

Happy Thanksgiving to all. I'm off too spend a week with Sir, hope all the protesting about the scanners are done.

 

[Emerald_Lilly]

Nothing destroys my world like hearing him say he's disappointed in me, and nothing can make up for disappointing him. I have had to come to terms with my own issues with not being perfect, and so when he's said I'm forgiven, then it is my duty to let it go.

She doesn't even have to say she is disappointed (not even necessarily in me, could be with circumstances) but i can hear it in her tone and it kills me. But i have to say the last sentence i quoted goes to my heart. It is not my place to second-guess her words in situations such as this.

 

[mardin]

I am having a hard time we had a visit planned for the first week in Dec but things got changed, then boom the holidays, they make our contact even less frequent. I know it is not really her fault but I sure dont like the way it makes me feel.

Patiently waits for Monday.... I will have to remember not to be harsh with her and just enjoy our time together via the computer then.

I am not a extremely strict Dom but when things like this happen I do seem to be a little demanding.

OK you subs that are in this position, Does you Dom act thins way? How does that make you feel when he/she is a bit over demanding after it been hard for you to make time for you Dom? Does it come off and being a bit of a spoiled PYT or do you kinda like the he/she shows that he missed having you around?

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I am having a hard time we had a visit planned for the first week in Dec but things got changed, then boom the holidays, they make our contact even less frequent. I know it is not really her fault but I sure dont like the way it makes me feel.

Patiently waits for Monday.... I will have to remember not to be harsh with her and just enjoy our time together via the computer then.

I am not a extremely strict Dom but when things like this happen I do seem to be a little demanding.

OK you subs that are in this position, Does you Dom act thins way? How does that make you feel when he/she is a bit over demanding after it been hard for you to make time for you Dom? Does it come off and being a bit of a spoiled PYT or do you kinda like the he/she shows that he missed having you around?

Honestly, I don't see anything wrong with a Dom being a bit more demanding in that sort of circumstance. I know, for myself, if we've had a bit of time apart, I end up feeling like a bit of a ragdoll with holes while he works everything out of his system.

Yes, it's nice to feel that extra bit needed and wanted and missed, but basically, it's just that sometimes, people seem to forget that Doms are people with needs too.

 

[discoverkirsty]

Hiya
I thought I’d take the plunge and introduce myself on this thread as I seem to have found myself in a long distance Ds relationship. I’m totally new to Ds (although I’ve lurked on Lit for a while) and have been lucky enough to find myself a wonderful Dom, someone I knew from years ago who got back in touch. We got talking and somehow Ds came up,and somehow He’s now my Dom. I have to confess I’m already besotted with Him and can’t wait for the times when we can chat.

That’s the happy stuff – the complicated bit is that He is married and I have a partner – his wife has ok’d Him having a sub, but my other half would probably leave me if he found out, so I’m having some serious guilt issues (I know its awful of me so please don’t give me a hard time )

I’ve been reading through this thread and it seems that many of the ppl on here are control freaks like me – which seems such a contradiction, but is definitely true for me. It makes it hard for me sometimes to do as He asks, I’m so used to having to be the one to make decisions, to make sure things happen and get organised that it’s hard letting go, even though I know I want to. But He’s been very patient and says He knows its all a learning curve for me, and in fact for Him too as He needs to get to know me.

Anyway, that’s me. I thought it would be nice to get to know some other people in similar situations
kirsty
xx

 

[the captians wench]

I am having a hard time we had a visit planned for the first week in Dec but things got changed, then boom the holidays, they make our contact even less frequent. I know it is not really her fault but I sure dont like the way it makes me feel.

Patiently waits for Monday.... I will have to remember not to be harsh with her and just enjoy our time together via the computer then.

I am not a extremely strict Dom but when things like this happen I do seem to be a little demanding.

OK you subs that are in this position, Does you Dom act thins way? How does that make you feel when he/she is a bit over demanding after it been hard for you to make time for you Dom? Does it come off and being a bit of a spoiled PYT or do you kinda like the he/she shows that he missed having you around?

Jounar doesn't really get needy when our schedules don't mesh. Of course it's very rare that it's my schedule that gets in the way, usually it's him doing family things or other social requirements. I usually do my best to adjust my schedule to revolve around him.

On those rare occasions that I'm the one off with family/work/or other social obligations it gets very sentimental. I'll recieve more texts and offline IMs and when we do get to chat he's very lovey including wanting to have me cry in pain, which usually is what I need to let go of the events that have kept us apart and bond with him.

I love when he expresses how much he missed me. Especially when I don't say it first.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I love when he expresses how much he missed me. Especially when I don't say it first.

Hehehe

me too

 

[the captians wench]

So I made it through my first holiday with out some one asking me when I was getting married and having kids. And actually when the subject came up of not having babies around for this holiday, they turned on the only other single person in my age group, my only male cousin.

But when I made a comment to mom that I thought it was funny Jounar sends me texts wishing me a good holiday on holidays that they don't even celebrate, my uncle's girlfriend (who I swear knows this already) asked why he doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving. So mom chimed in and said "He's in Ireland". but the woman continued, "oh. How did you meet him?" and my aunt chimed in, "on the internet" and again, "oh. well how often do you get to see him" and again my mom chimed in, "she's been there once. Infact she went there not even knowing this man........"

Begin my mom's 30 minute rant on how I scared her half to death because she felt like I didn't give her adiquit information and so on.

Then my uncle's girlfriend replies, "well why would you want that?"

I just smiled politely and replied softly, "I didn't seek it out. It just kind of happened that way" and excused myself to cry in the bathroom.

 

[BindnCufTite]

we should talk, I arrived here, with 2 kids in 2001. After many years of internet communication and visits to and fro. Wouldn't have it any other way

 

[the captians wench]

some times he feel so close that just for a breif moment I think to myself "I should just get in my van and drive over there". . . there are just so many things wrong with that, but it just doesn't seem like it should take a whole day's worth of traveling to get to him.

damn internet making the world seem smaller than what it is.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

.........

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

........

 

[lil_slave_rose]

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[minx1]

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I was very sorry to hear about MP, Rose. I hope you are doing ok

 

[lil_slave_rose]

I was very sorry to hear about MP, Rose. I hope you are doing ok

ty minx ... i'm really NOT ok, at all. i miss Him so much and i still cannot believe He's gone. my heart hurts and i wish so badly i had gotten to say goodbye....i guess in a way i did. i talked to Him the night before thanksgiving. i loved him (and still do) SO much. he will forever be in my heart..a piece of me is missing without Him....it's really just starting to sink in...but it still just doesn't feel..real. He was the greatest man i've ever known (besides my dad) and He knew me better than anyone ever has or ever will....i miss Him....my heart hurts...