Distance Domination-Support Thread

[the captians wench]

It's days like today when I wish with all my heart for nothing more than to come home and he be there willing to beat me into sobs so that I can release this day. And then cuddle me and let me know it will all be okay.

 

[Ancilla1968]

It's days like today when I wish with all my heart for nothing more than to come home and he be there willing to beat me into sobs so that I can release this day. And then cuddle me and let me know it will all be okay.

*blinks*

That bad????????

 

[insert____here]

i'm finding that the more my work and home life is stressful and demanding the more i close off and just push everyone away. including D. it's a case of "right, well i can handle it, just bugger off, get out of my way and i'm fine just you watch". but i know i can't handle it and i know it's hurting and i refuse to feel it. of course the aftermath is usually tears and a complete mess, but until it's done i'm just not wired to let anyone near me.

it must be hard for D, cos he hasn't really had to deal with this side of my personality yet. i know i'm just trying to not slop my stress all over everyone else, and as a single parent the first instinct is just to put up and get on with it. but it's hurting D and my submissive nature takes a definate back seat. i'm not dealing well with the whole "romantic stuff" which i usually love. it just seems to trivialise everything cos i know D loves me but i don't need to be mushed over. right now what i need is a firm hand and some straight up laughter with a good mate. someone to say "shut the hell up and just do it". one firm point of clarity when everything else is so messy.

i often wonder how different it is for people who share a home and hearth in a M/s D/s relationship. how much easier it would be if this was a daily part of life as soon as you walk in the door without the contrivance of e-mail and "tasks". just to be immersed to the point where you don't have to think about it, you can just 'be'. would that make times like these easier??

errgghh, guess my point is, ms wench, you aren't alone in just wanting to let it go and cry all over J. although i'm pretty sure you deal with it more healthily than i do. in any case, the very biggest hugs and still warm brownies are on their way to you.

 

[the captians wench]

*blinks*

That bad????????

The day started out grand. I even made plans with Jounar as I was going to be home at a decient hour for the first time all month. But lunch was a disastar and then we got new equipment in durring the middle of lunch. Then the truck was early, and I ended up working a 12 hour shift which put me home way to late to even say goodnight to Jounar. He sent me a text telling me it's okay, that things come up, but I am hugely disapointed.

i'm finding that the more my work and home life is stressful and demanding the more i close off and just push everyone away. including D. it's a case of "right, well i can handle it, just bugger off, get out of my way and i'm fine just you watch". but i know i can't handle it and i know it's hurting and i refuse to feel it. of course the aftermath is usually tears and a complete mess, but until it's done i'm just not wired to let anyone near me.

it must be hard for D, cos he hasn't really had to deal with this side of my personality yet. i know i'm just trying to not slop my stress all over everyone else, and as a single parent the first instinct is just to put up and get on with it. but it's hurting D and my submissive nature takes a definate back seat. i'm not dealing well with the whole "romantic stuff" which i usually love. it just seems to trivialise everything cos i know D loves me but i don't need to be mushed over. right now what i need is a firm hand and some straight up laughter with a good mate. someone to say "shut the hell up and just do it". one firm point of clarity when everything else is so messy.

i often wonder how different it is for people who share a home and hearth in a M/s D/s relationship. how much easier it would be if this was a daily part of life as soon as you walk in the door without the contrivance of e-mail and "tasks". just to be immersed to the point where you don't have to think about it, you can just 'be'. would that make times like these easier??

errgghh, guess my point is, ms wench, you aren't alone in just wanting to let it go and cry all over J. although i'm pretty sure you deal with it more healthily than i do. in any case, the very biggest hugs and still warm brownies are on their way to you.

I used to bottle everything up. I used to just "suck it up" and move on, only I never really could move on.

Then I met Jounar. I don't know what it is about him but he just opens me up like a book. I want to tell him everything.

At first I felt like I was burdening him, or boring him, or that he just didn't need to hear my trivial problems. But the more I hid from him, the more issues we had. I finally admited to him why I didn't boggle him down with every little detail and he admited to me that he wanted to hear every detail. He said I should always feel like I can tell him anything and everything and further more that he wanted to know.

I started small. I sent him emails detailing what was wrong. Well, okay, the real details didn't come right away, but it was a start. Now sometimes I feel like all I do is bitch about stuff. I still email him when things are bad, but when I'm really upset I text him. I feel better. It makes me feel like he's closer.

It was hard opening up to him, but I loved how volnerable it made me feel. He makes me feel open and exposed, yet wraped up warm and safe.

But sometimes emails and text just aren't enough.

Hopefully we'll get our phone time this weekend, and some play time soon. I have a hard time letting go of things, but he can break me down and wrap me up like nothing I've felt before. It's rejuvinating.

 

[lassgirl]

Just wanted to say a quick hello and send out a word or two of encouragement for those who find themselves in a LD situation with their Dom/me.

i am a married female who has a Master that is not my husband, long story that i adore telling if any wish to chat, feel free to pm me.

i sort of was found and brought into the world of submission, the only world that suits me, that feels right, where i belong. i went through a few situations online and face to face that were not healthy and i fully understand the challenges of having separation between yourself and the One you serve.

i didn't stumble upon this online, it was taught and shown to me and i sought out others like me in places such as livejournal where i keep my slave journal and a kink social networking site and sadly, i found many people to be judgmental at best and just plain rude at worst.

w/We all have reasons for being in the situation we are in with the LD thing and each reason is o/Our own and whether or not it is what w/We are happy to remain with, or w/We have precious trips that are far too short to visit with o/Ours, or if it is just a waiting game until the distance will be a thing of the past, know this always. Y/you are REAL people who have REAL feelings and REAL submission and/or Dominance. i would be oh so wealthy right now if i had a nickel for every time i heard that LD subs and Dom/mes are not real. It is sad that in a lifestyle that is often looked down upon by the mainstream that there are those who would look down upon those who have so much in common with them.

Also, if y/You are new to LD submission or Domination, i ask that Y/you take my word that it is more than possible to work out and to work out longterm, when it is right, it is right, whether Y/you live next door or across an ocean. i am blessed to have been guided and taught by the right Master for me, my Master and in less than a month it will be three years of Owned bliss. It can last despite the "six month average" statistic so many like to throw around in regards to LD D/s relationships.

For all those subbies out there who get hurt when people down them and say they can't be real, (as i did for far too long) remember this, there is only One opinion that really matters and when you get to the point where you not only hear that and repeat that, but also know and feel and fully live that, then we are found and home.

And i will stop rambling and spreading sparkly, happy shiny love to Y/you all with a thanks to my Master for not only allowing me, but encouraging me to reach out to others, to learn from them, to teach them and to befriend them. As always, He is kinder to me than this slave could ever deserve.

Owned and Operated slave

 

[ultramarineblue]

The day started out grand. I even made plans with Jounar as I was going to be home at a decient hour for the first time all month. But lunch was a disastar and then we got new equipment in durring the middle of lunch. Then the truck was early, and I ended up working a 12 hour shift which put me home way to late to even say goodnight to Jounar. He sent me a text telling me it's okay, that things come up, but I am hugely disapointed.

Sometimes I think it's the days that we need the connection of talking the most that we get that the least.

 

[MisterSir]

It can last despite the "six month average" statistic so many like to throw around in regards to LD D/s relationships

The average is six months? Hot damn. I'll happily take that.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Just wanted to say a quick hello and send out a word or two of encouragement for those who find themselves in a LD situation with their Dom/me.

Hello and welcome to the Distance Domination-Support thread

 

[ecstaticsub]

The average is six months?

Hot damn. I'll happily take that.

I would be interested in how long the average LDR lasts. I also wonder if it lasts longer than a purely on-line or for that matter a in-person relationship.

Mine is a LDR and as of 2 months from now it will be 5 years. The longest we have gone between visits is 7 months. The shortest is about 3 months. This year we are trying to make an effort to make visits happen more often.

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

My relationship is 2 years and almost 4 months strong. We have yet to see each other in person. Hopefully (fingers crossed) this summer we can visit.

But I will wait for as long as it takes to see the love of my life.

 

[the captians wench]

Jounar and I will celebrate 5 years in September.

In that time we have only successfully met together once.

Before that his average relationship was 6 months, mine about the same with the exception of my marrage.

 

[CurlyKat]

We're right at eight months. Still waiting for all the circumstances to fall into place to be together, but hey, 1,000 miles is still closer than the 6,000 it was previously.

 

[the captians wench]

I haven't had my phone time yet this weekend and I'm feeling very pouty.

*pouts*

 

[ecstaticsub]

I'm still winding down from this weekend's visit. It came together rather quickly so I didn't have the usual month or so of anticipation. It was a visit we both needed on a emotional level.

At least for me I have come to the point that there are some topics that I can not discuss over IM or phone. I am too emotional, and frankly what I really need is a slap across the face or a good ass beating along with him looking into my eyes and telling me he loves me to just ground me again.

 

[subish2009]

My online-only LDR is now at 9 months and just keeps getting stronger. I don't know if we'll ever get to have an offline meeting, but we'd both give almost anything to make it happen.

 

[monique_minx]

Hi all!

My LDR is only about two months in but it took us about four months of talking almost everyday to get to this point. He lives in the States and I live in Australia so I've got a feeling I might actually really need a good support system since I've never done a LDR before and certainly not a D/s one!

He''s supposed to be coming over here for my birthday in October and I'm looking forward to it like a kid hopped up on sugar! Only I have a feeling this is going to be the longest six months of my life! So phone calls are out for us - too expensive though thankfully there is msn calling now so we both got the required equipment

We both met on Lit actually and neither of us were looking, sort of just fell into a friendship and found common ground. So in any case I just wanted to introduce myself and probably will look for advice rather than give any since I'm new to LDR's in general and I'm still very young

 

[the captians wench]

Hi all!

Welcome


So this morning I was surprized with a phone call. He was checking up on me cause I sent him a text yesterday saying that I thought I might have broken a toe. I love that we can do that now.

A few hours later he sends me a text asking if the vonage changed last night. I told him I had no clue, and he told me that it's not working. When he plugs the vonage box in it takes the net out, but the net is fine with out the box. And just as I'm getting ready to go on vacation.

I hope he can figure it out. it's the perfect time to be able to chat next week.

 

[MisterSir]

Beginning of April. Have gotta find a place to stay and a means of getting there. Missed too many opportunities to fuck this one up.

 

[Hisbeauty]

Things are getting better with Sir...but the rest of my life? Going to hell.

Oh well at least He is here for me.

 

[ultramarineblue]

Things are getting better with Sir...but the rest of my life? Going to hell.

Oh well at least He is here for me.

I hope things get better for you.

 

[insert____here]

random blurt - how the hell does D put up with me??

*sigh* the fact that He does humbles me.

and if things go according to plan i will have bought a return ticket to D by the end of the week. trying not to get the hopes up... or jinx it.

may this be the first of many....pretty please god / deity / entity / being thingy / ceiling cat (kthnkbai!)

 

[sinnocence]

random blurt - how the hell does D put up with me??

*sigh* the fact that He does humbles me.

I've had this very same thought about my Master more times than I can remember. Plus the fact that he has waited this long and will continue to do so if need be.

It truly is humbling.

 

[Hisbeauty]

I hope things get better for you.

Thank you. The "hell" is actually a good thing. i am getting rid of some toxic elements (people) in my life that need to be gone.

The process sucks because they keep saying nasty shit. Oh well...poo washes off!

Sir has been so supportive. Even though there were issues recently, He has not given up on me. i am fortunate.

 

[the captians wench]

I love our specail moments.

I have such a hard time letting go that some times I just need to be brought to tears. I've been missing him so much lately, and hurting from the distance, but for some reason I just could not cry and release that. Tonight we got some play time, which we haven't had in months. I got to cry it all out and I feell much better now.

It's funny, I feel so close to him after our sessions. When he breaks me down to tears, and I'm laying there sobbing, I can almost feel his arms around me, holding me. When we get to do this on the phone I would swear he was there with me.

I love him so much.

 

[ultramarineblue]

Thank you. The "hell" is actually a good thing. i am getting rid of some toxic elements (people) in my life that need to be gone.

The process sucks because they keep saying nasty shit. Oh well...poo washes off!

Sir has been so supportive. Even though there were issues recently, He has not given up on me. i am fortunate.

It's tough going through things like that even though the end result will be positive.