Distance Domination-Support Thread

[MasterPhoenix]

To MP and Rose..

I, like so many others here, have suffered depression, a breakdown, and I have my own abandonment issues. Those feelings are always there, ready to pounce, ready to tell me that what I have is going to go wrong, that I am not worth the good things in life.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I remember that my emotions aren't a measure of reality, they are an expression of my interpretation of the reality. They may the result of tiredness, stress, loss or all sort of negative things. (And I think having to part after time together has to be about the most negative I can think of).

At other times I let ITW know how I am feeling, and then I have to let her reach out to me and try and comfort me. She is learning that her doing that doesn't solve anything as such, in fact it can often seem to have no effect at the time...but afterwards I remember her kindness and her support, and I value them.

I suppose what I want to say is that from what I have seen, your relationship is like a lake...

When the winds blow, (like the stresses and strains you are going through), the waves can seem nasty and dangerous. But, it also has depths that mean that it will last if you guys want it to. Trust in the quiet depths of your relationship, of the promises made and fulfilled, of the love you know you each have for the other. And give that trust to the other.

MP...trust Rose, that in her stress and hurt, that she loves you more than anyone else in the world.

Rose...trust MP that even though he is hurting...he is sharing his hurt because he longs for you.

I think you guys are suffering the whiplash of parting and that has aggravated all the other pains and injuries you already carry. But that very whiplash speaks volumes as to how much you love each other.

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}} to both of you.

Just being back in Cali feels so damn empty...

 

[Little_Kitten]

Hey Rose and MP...

I know I'm just 18 and a newbie at life, But I wanna tell you that you aren't alone... Me n my love are experiencing difficulties with balancing our time together too. I've been gone alot lately, traveling with my family, being with friends and stuff. I've barely had any time with the one I truly love, and he told me he felt as if I was putting friends before him. Which I absolutely aren't. The reason I've been gone alot, is the fact that I suck at saying no, even if I know that I truly don't wanna go, or be with anyone.
We have our depressions too... My love suffers from clinical depressions, and I don't know what's wrong with me, but I get depressions too.. lots of them. Mainly because of my family, and the situation I'm in right now.

I'm desperate about finding a way to balance my relationship with my real life issues. I don't wanna disappoint my friends and people around me, but I don't wanna disappoint my love either. When it comes down to it, I'd choose over anyone in this world, no matter the circumstances. thats how I feel right now, and call me naive, but that's just how it is.

So I decided I have to try as hard to break my weak habit of not being able to say no to people, when it's unnecessary for me to be with someone else than my master. I've succeeded alot more lately, but I still don't like disappointing ANYone... I guess it's not possible though... You'll never be able to please anyone, and in the end, if you have to choose, you'll have to choose the one who means the most to you.

On the other hand, I also think that the partner must understand you have a social life too, and need to socialize from time too time.
My love understood that for a while, but when it became too much, I decided to cut back on one thing and focus on the other.

About the depression part.... The thing that helps me the most is being with my love, and the same goes for him... It's like we are each other's medicine

But the other thing I can offer about depression is that if pills and therapy doesn't work, sometimes working out, eating healthy or participating in a social club might help... You probably already know this though.

Well I dunno if this helps much, but just wanted to let you guys know that you aren't alone... Me and my partner have been hurting alot lately too.... But we'll survive... I know that I'll never leave him(and don't tell me that I cant be sure, cos as things are now, im sure I wont). I'll always try and find a solution to make things work.


Oh and.. Hugs to you both I hope things work out for you.

 

[FluteMaster]

Just being back in Cali feels so damn empty...

As would anywhere be when you aren't with your Rose.

I don't know if this helps, but sometimes focusing on the good times waiting is a way of coping with the dark times now.

So tell us...what plans have you got for being re-united. What devious schemes have you got to torment your little one?

 

[DomWharfsBitch]

Leaving hugs for Rose and MP..I hate that you all are going through this rough time right now!

 

[minx1]

Yes me too. I offer my love and any support I can give either of you.

Stay strong

 

[DomWharfsBitch]

Hey Minx..How are you today?

 

[minx1]

Hey Minx..How are you today?

Hey hon

I'm ok thanks. How about you? You waiting for your Master?

I hope he is feeling better

 

[intothewoods]

*****

 

[FluteMaster]

Hi all, I know many of us are struggling here at the moment, and I am thinking of all of you.

If it's okay though, I wanted to post a little good news. It's a been a rough month or so, and will definitely be tough again in the future, but my therapy session this week was really good and has left me feeling much more relaxed about who I am. It was really difficult for me to admit, out loud, the kind of relationship I am working towards. My therapist must have asked me five times, does this dynamic extend to outside of the bedroom. I'm usually pretty clear, so I can only chalk it up to how hard it is for me to talk about. Anyway - finally saying it to a vanilla person, and seeing her not fazed by it - it felt like such a relief. So, just some good news for a change...I don't know how long this feeling will last, but I'm enjoying it.

And knowing how hard it must have been to be open about something so private and stressful...I am proud of you, and so pleased for you.

 

[Little_Kitten]

Hi all, I know many of us are struggling here at the moment, and I am thinking of all of you.

If it's okay though, I wanted to post a little good news. It's a been a rough month or so, and will definitely be tough again in the future, but my therapy session this week was really good and has left me feeling much more relaxed about who I am. It was really difficult for me to admit, out loud, the kind of relationship I am working towards. My therapist must have asked me five times, does this dynamic extend to outside of the bedroom. I'm usually pretty clear, so I can only chalk it up to how hard it is for me to talk about. Anyway - finally saying it to a vanilla person, and seeing her not fazed by it - it felt like such a relief. So, just some good news for a change...I don't know how long this feeling will last, but I'm enjoying it.

I'm happy for you ... I wish I had people I could share stuff like that with.....

 

[DomWharfsBitch]

Hey hon

I'm ok thanks. How about you? You waiting for your Master?

I hope he is feeling better

Hey hon..

Glad that you are okay..I am good...I spent my lunch hour with master today and that was good and he said we would meet up after he gets of work tonight...

He is feeling much better..thank you

 

[lil_slave_rose]

just an update on us, i'm not really sure what to say though, because we are going through a HUGE change right now. we had a very long talk the other night and i came clean with some things that i was working out in my head. i have decided to step away from my submissive side right now. i'm not even sure i am truly submissive. He says He will stand by me, that it's ME as a person He loves, not only me the submissive. He thinks we will merge into Daddy/babygirl instead of Master/slave, but i'm just not sure.

i know i'm a masochist.i just don't know where in this lifestyle i fit in. *sighs* i guess we are starting a new journey. i am just afraid that without Him being Dominant, it's not going to be enough. it's part of who He is. and He told me before that He could never be in a 'nilla relationship. this is just too much to lay out here, i will talk about it more privately, but right now i just don't wanna air it all in public......we will still be around Lit and my PM box is open if anyone would like to chat that way.....thanks everyone for all of your support, it means alot to both of us....

 

[myinnerslut]

just an update on us, i'm not really sure what to say though, because we are going through a HUGE change right now. we had a very long talk the other night and i came clean with some things that i was working out in my head. i have decided to step away from my submissive side right now. i'm not even sure i am truly submissive. He says He will stand by me, that it's ME as a person He loves, not only me the submissive. He thinks we will merge into Daddy/babygirl instead of Master/slave, but i'm just not sure.

i know i'm a masochist.i just don't know where in this lifestyle i fit in. *sighs* i guess we are starting a new journey. i am just afraid that without Him being Dominant, it's not going to be enough. it's part of who He is. and He told me before that He could never be in a 'nilla relationship. this is just too much to lay out here, i will talk about it more privately, but right now i just don't wanna air it all in public......we will still be around Lit and my PM box is open if anyone would like to chat that way.....thanks everyone for all of your support, it means alot to both of us....

lots of hugs and support to you wherever your journey takes you

 

[intothewoods]

just an update on us, i'm not really sure what to say though, because we are going through a HUGE change right now. we had a very long talk the other night and i came clean with some things that i was working out in my head. i have decided to step away from my submissive side right now. i'm not even sure i am truly submissive. He says He will stand by me, that it's ME as a person He loves, not only me the submissive. He thinks we will merge into Daddy/babygirl instead of Master/slave, but i'm just not sure.

i know i'm a masochist.i just don't know where in this lifestyle i fit in. *sighs* i guess we are starting a new journey. i am just afraid that without Him being Dominant, it's not going to be enough. it's part of who He is. and He told me before that He could never be in a 'nilla relationship. this is just too much to lay out here, i will talk about it more privately, but right now i just don't wanna air it all in public......we will still be around Lit and my PM box is open if anyone would like to chat that way.....thanks everyone for all of your support, it means alot to both of us....

rose, I want to say, first of all, I think you are so brave to be as open as you are. You've taken some criticism on the other thread you posted, and that's tough to do. Many people would be too proud to admit weakness.

I would love to PM you, if you don't mind, because getting to the heart of what you are is something I have been working on too. I would love to hear what brought you to this place.

This is a tough time for you guys, but you have been honest with MP and he has been honest with you. That's huge.

 

[CutieMouse]

Best wishes for both of you...

You do know, that it isn't all Master/Slave, or nothing, right? Maybe you fit in as Rose, and he fits in as MP, and it doesn't matter what label you put on things, as long as both of your needs can be met.

 

[minx1]

just an update on us, i'm not really sure what to say though, because we are going through a HUGE change right now. we had a very long talk the other night and i came clean with some things that i was working out in my head. i have decided to step away from my submissive side right now. i'm not even sure i am truly submissive. He says He will stand by me, that it's ME as a person He loves, not only me the submissive. He thinks we will merge into Daddy/babygirl instead of Master/slave, but i'm just not sure.

i know i'm a masochist.i just don't know where in this lifestyle i fit in. *sighs* i guess we are starting a new journey. i am just afraid that without Him being Dominant, it's not going to be enough. it's part of who He is. and He told me before that He could never be in a 'nilla relationship. this is just too much to lay out here, i will talk about it more privately, but right now i just don't wanna air it all in public......we will still be around Lit and my PM box is open if anyone would like to chat that way.....thanks everyone for all of your support, it means alot to both of us....

*hugs* to you both. Its a difficult time and I really hope it works out well for you both. One thing you do have is love for eachother and though I wouldn't be naive and say love conquers all, its still a very strong starting position

Rose I empathise with you fully right now as you question your submissiveness. Though mine is for another reason, I am doing exactly that.

If I can help in anyway by offering a friendly ear, please either of you feel free to PM.

 

[intothewoods]

Cutie - I was thinking that too, although you articulated it much better than I could.

Maybe you aren't a slave, but you're a submissive? Whatever that means...as Cutie said, as long as you two meet each other's needs. And maybe you are just renegotiating those needs right now.

 

[DomWharfsBitch]

Lots of hugs and good thoughts for you rose and MP

 

[MasterPhoenix]

Best wishes for both of you...

You do know, that it isn't all Master/Slave, or nothing, right? Maybe you fit in as Rose, and he fits in as MP, and it doesn't matter what label you put on things, as long as both of your needs can be met.

CM, I don't think truer words have been spoken... She told me about this post when we were talking earlier, and I agreed completely...

 

[MasterPhoenix]

just an update on us, i'm not really sure what to say though, because we are going through a HUGE change right now. we had a very long talk the other night and i came clean with some things that i was working out in my head. i have decided to step away from my submissive side right now. i'm not even sure i am truly submissive. He says He will stand by me, that it's ME as a person He loves, not only me the submissive. He thinks we will merge into Daddy/babygirl instead of Master/slave, but i'm just not sure.

i know i'm a masochist.i just don't know where in this lifestyle i fit in. *sighs* i guess we are starting a new journey. i am just afraid that without Him being Dominant, it's not going to be enough. it's part of who He is. and He told me before that He could never be in a 'nilla relationship. this is just too much to lay out here, i will talk about it more privately, but right now i just don't wanna air it all in public......we will still be around Lit and my PM box is open if anyone would like to chat that way.....thanks everyone for all of your support, it means alot to both of us....

Babygirl, I loved you BEFORE you were my submissive... And I love you now...

As I told you earlier on the phone, my life long vision of us wasn't all about you being on your knees or any of the other formalities, it was about us being together sharing our lives.... As we have given as advice on this board, this lifestyle is a journey and it takes twists and turns, as life does. Its not about whether we end up as Master/slave Daddy/babygirl or Fred and wilma Flinstone. It is that we are on this path together where ever it may lead.

Remember, I always told you that we would make it work however worked best for us, and not some predefined label.

Yeah, I have said that I could not be in a 'nilla relationship, and at that time I thought you felt the same.

We have laughed, cried, celebrated, and mourned together for the last four years. That means more to me than any labels we may attach.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Babygirl, I loved you BEFORE you were my submissive... And I love you now...

As I told you earlier on the phone, my life long vision of us wasn't all about you being on your knees or any of the other formalities, it was about us being together sharing our lives.... As we have given as advice on this board, this lifestyle is a journey and it takes twists and turns, as life does. Its not about whether we end up as Master/slave Daddy/babygirl or Fred and wilma Flinstone. It is that we are on this path together where ever it may lead.

Yeah, I have said that I could not be in a 'nilla relationship, and at that time I thought you felt the same.

We have laughed, cried, celebrated, and mourned together for the last four years. That means more to me than any labels we may attach.

those words mean more to me than You could ever possibly know. *sighs* i love You so much, and i'm sorry for the hurt i've put You through, and for not being honest with You sooner, i just didn't know how or have the words i needed to say. i was confused myself and didn't know what i wanted, i still don't really. but i do know together we'll find our way and that's what matters. thank You for being understanding. wherever this new journey takes us, i know You'll always have my heart. *smiles* i love You /ends the back and forth banter/

 

[MasterPhoenix]

those words mean more to me than You could ever possibly know. *sighs* i love You so much, and i'm sorry for the hurt i've put You through, and for not being honest with You sooner, i just didn't know how or have the words i needed to say. i was confused myself and didn't know what i wanted, i still don't really. but i do know together we'll find our way and that's what matters. thank You for being understanding. wherever this new journey takes us, i know You'll always have my heart. *smiles* i love You /ends the back and forth banter/

I love you too....

More than you can know....

Just take my hand and hold on tight, and we will find out way.

 

[GentleSub_Ivy]

MP and Rose you two are such an inspiration. I'm a newbie to this lifestyle and I think the labels can be self limiting. It's about the people involved in the relationship, nothing else. From the way you interact with eachother and your good attitude it seems that you have such a beautiful path ahead of you together.

My thoughts are with you.

Ivy

 

[catalina_francisco]

just an update on us, i'm not really sure what to say though, because we are going through a HUGE change right now. we had a very long talk the other night and i came clean with some things that i was working out in my head. i have decided to step away from my submissive side right now. i'm not even sure i am truly submissive. He says He will stand by me, that it's ME as a person He loves, not only me the submissive. He thinks we will merge into Daddy/babygirl instead of Master/slave, but i'm just not sure.

i know i'm a masochist.i just don't know where in this lifestyle i fit in. *sighs* i guess we are starting a new journey. i am just afraid that without Him being Dominant, it's not going to be enough. it's part of who He is. and He told me before that He could never be in a 'nilla relationship. this is just too much to lay out here, i will talk about it more privately, but right now i just don't wanna air it all in public......we will still be around Lit and my PM box is open if anyone would like to chat that way.....thanks everyone for all of your support, it means alot to both of us....

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1036/535087245_43e5b7daff_t.jpg Don't feel bad about questioning...believe it or not I do that often. I think it is a response to some of the demands this type lifestyle places on us combined with the normal stresses and tensions of everyday life. There are times when one feels ultra submissive, others when you just want to fight back or stop the merry go round to think or catch your breath. Through it all, talking is the best way to deal with it and move forward, and sometimes can show there is something else which is motivating the feelings which once dealt with helps all return to the previous scheduled programme. Hang in there and you will both get through this...hiccoughs are normal in any relationship, even M/s and D/s.

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1372/535079392_f8b8c0b2d0_t.jpg Catalina

 

[MasterPhoenix]

MP and Rose you two are such an inspiration. I'm a newbie to this lifestyle and I think the labels can be self limiting. It's about the people involved in the relationship, nothing else. From the way you interact with eachother and your good attitude it seems that you have such a beautiful path ahead of you together.

My thoughts are with you.

Ivy

Yeah, we do....

But thank you...

We both wish you all the best on your journey...

Her and I have been together for four years... We have had good times and bad times.. But no matter we have had each other. That is the key... more than labels, or whatever...

I would kill or die for that woman no second thoughts.