Distance Domination-Support Thread

[lil_slave_rose]

Well I said I'm gonna do that... I get 800 monthly... But that's not from my parents. I raise my funds myself... half of them will probably go to food ... so in two months i'll probably have enough for a plain ticket or whatever.
It's just nice with support and stuff.

I know 18 is a young age for such a decision... but I guess you have to understand me to understand why I wanna do this... The relations btween my family is so screwed at the moment... At least I still have my mom's support... unless she decides to withdraw that too... >_< I hope not.
I wish I was older though... people would be much more understanding then...

it's not a matter of age for me, if my daughter even at 20 something wanted to go to another country to meet a man she met online, i'd still be scared for her. and you say you'd like to go to school here in the US how long are you planning on staying??

 

[catalina_francisco]

I'm not sure you can really be able to move here in 2 months, there's a lot of paperwork to be done to be able to do that, but I won't say it's never happened before, just look at cat. (granted she didn't move to the us)

LOL, I have no doubt it would be much harder in the US, just visiting there for a bit over a week showed us how suspicious the US is about anyone and everyone entering the country. Here, all they wanted to know were all the legal things like name etc., ( and that was in our own time....when I entered the country they didn't do anything but wish me a good day) and then it was all over and I was given residency with the right to work and do whatever I wanted within the law.

Catalina

 

[the captians wench]

LOL, I have no doubt it would be much harder in the US, just visiting there for a bit over a week showed us how suspicious the US is about anyone and everyone entering the country. Here, all they wanted to know were all the legal things like name etc., ( and that was in our own time....when I entered the country they didn't do anything but wish me a good day) and then it was all over and I was given residency with the right to work and do whatever I wanted within the law.

Catalina

I haven't looked much into our imigration laws, but I have looked into Ireland, and to get over there takes a lot of work. I tease Jounar some times that with the laws they have it seems like it's okay for me to come over and spend lots of money but in 30 days my ass better be out of the country. *giggles*

 

[Little_Kitten]

it's not a matter of age for me, if my daughter even at 20 something wanted to go to another country to meet a man she met online, i'd still be scared for her. and you say you'd like to go to school here in the US how long are you planning on staying??

I understand what you mean...

Anyway... I don't know how long i can stay to be honest... I'm still trying to figure out about the schools... What's disappointing is that the schools seem to have an age limit... you can only go to highschool there till your 19 I think.
I have only completed one year of highschool here in denmark... Well the system is not like in USA anyway. it's 10 years of.. school.. Just normal school and then we choose some highschool we wanna go at for 3 years.. after that it's college or university. I'm just really doubtful about the schoolthing, as it seem to be the only possiblity for me to stay in USA for a longer period of time.

 

[DomWharfsBitch]

Just wanted to stop by and wish you all a good weekend..

Little Kitten I hope you get things figured out to your satisfaction!

 

[intothewoods]

I understand what you mean...

Anyway... I don't know how long i can stay to be honest... I'm still trying to figure out about the schools... What's disappointing is that the schools seem to have an age limit... you can only go to highschool there till your 19 I think.
I have only completed one year of highschool here in denmark... Well the system is not like in USA anyway. it's 10 years of.. school.. Just normal school and then we choose some highschool we wanna go at for 3 years.. after that it's college or university. I'm just really doubtful about the schoolthing, as it seem to be the only possiblity for me to stay in USA for a longer period of time.

I don't know the system in Denmark, Little Kitten, but if you were an American, I'd say take the GED (which is an exam that is the equivalent of getting your diploma for high school) and then apply to college here.

Why don't you visit first and then start to make some plans? There are zillions of colleges in PA though. I think you should have plenty of options.

 

[littleone77]

]Tonight is one of those nights...3 days and 2 nights of no contact and already I am feeling the effects of it. damn

 

[MasterPhoenix]

My heart goes out to you all who are dealing with intercontinental relationships. It is hard enough being 2253 miles apart and in the same country.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Being in a LDR is quite difficult. It is coming up on four years for rose and I, and it looks like I will be making one more visit before I move. It is the time we are together that keeps me going most of the time, as I am incomplete without her around.

I have been cooking up some wicked surprises for her for next time.

hmmmm....

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Don't worry I have been thinking about these things.... Im just saying that in two months i will have enough for a plane ticket... But I have been thinking about having enough money for a hotel or something in case something went wrong or that maybe he cant show up in the airport? o.o...
And since I'm from Denmark I can stay 90 days without a visa... But I plan on getting one... From what I've read they cost about about 100 bucks unless I misunderstood something. But I have alot of time to research, so I'm pretty sure I'll be ready by the time i decide to go...
I just hope my story will end just as happy as yours

Edit: Actually... the whole deal about a greencard sounds nice o.o.... But i'm confused. Can I only get them through lotteries? I can't seem to find any answers on that.

ok here's where i'm confused. you are planning on moving here and you haven't even met Him yet??? and honestly, you can't see why your dad is not so supportive of this?? i'm not trying to rain on your parade or be negative, but sheesh, i've been with Master going on 4 years and i'm still leary of Him moving here after only meeting face to face TWICE..not because i don't trust Him, because of some other things, mainly my kids, but coming here to meet Him AND move in with Him or whatever, is just nuts IMO and helps me understand why your dad is not supporting you on this.....*shrugs* or maybe i read what you're saying wrong.....if i did i apologize

 

[lil_slave_rose]

*laughs* I checked through your postings and you never mentioned the length of your relationship. A year is a long time, versus a few months. No one does online that long who has 'bad' intentions.

i tend to disagree with that statement. i was 'with' someone online for over a year, finally decided to meet, after meeting him and deciding it wasn't going to work out, he began stalking me. 'bad' people will wait out whatever time they need to to get to their victims..i'm not saying this is the case but to say 'no one does online that long who has bad intentions', from MY experience is a very FALSE statement

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Well exactly >_< And what internet psycho would be on a gamer's forum? :-/ And be productive and stuff... The chances of him being a psycho or something are very very very low....

how do you KNOW He's 'productive' and just because He's productive doesn't mean He's not a psycho..LOL...just sayin

 

[Little_Kitten]

I don't know the system in Denmark, Little Kitten, but if you were an American, I'd say take the GED (which is an exam that is the equivalent of getting your diploma for high school) and then apply to college here.

Why don't you visit first and then start to make some plans? There are zillions of colleges in PA though. I think you should have plenty of options.

hm.. What exactly is GED?
And the deal about visiting before moving... I'm running out of time... Cos schools start again in a few months there, and I don't wanna waste another year.

ok here's where i'm confused. you are planning on moving here and you haven't even met Him yet??? and honestly, you can't see why your dad is not so supportive of this?? i'm not trying to rain on your parade or be negative, but sheesh, i've been with Master going on 4 years and i'm still leary of Him moving here after only meeting face to face TWICE..not because i don't trust Him, because of some other things, mainly my kids, but coming here to meet Him AND move in with Him or whatever, is just nuts IMO and helps me understand why your dad is not supporting you on this.....*shrugs* or maybe i read what you're saying wrong.....if i did i apologize

Well I know it's nuts.. but If I don't do it, it's gonna haunt me forever. You don't really understand the situation I'm in... I'd be happy to be anywhere else than here at home, but I wont get further into that.
THe thing is that I just don't get why I cant be with him, if I'm going to the US anyway. I wanna study there, but I find it much more unsafe for me to be with some complete strangers rather than someone I at least know... The strangers could be psychoes too... or sumthing...
I've been wanting to study in the US before I even met him, and now that the opportunity is there, I really don't wanna waste it....

i tend to disagree with that statement. i was 'with' someone online for over a year, finally decided to meet, after meeting him and deciding it wasn't going to work out, he began stalking me. 'bad' people will wait out whatever time they need to to get to their victims..i'm not saying this is the case but to say 'no one does online that long who has bad intentions', from MY experience is a very FALSE statement

Well i guess you're right... but I do think it reduces the chances of him being a psycho a bit >_< Most people wouldn't wanna spend a whole year waiting for someone if the intentions were bad... unless they are highly dependant... like that guy....

how do you KNOW He's 'productive' and just because He's productive doesn't mean He's not a psycho..LOL...just sayin

Well... I kinda know his history... And I know friends that are friends with him and stuff....

 

[lil_slave_rose]

hm.. What exactly is GED?
And the deal about visiting before moving... I'm running out of time... Cos schools start again in a few months there, and I don't wanna waste another year.



Well I know it's nuts.. but If I don't do it, it's gonna haunt me forever. You don't really understand the situation I'm in... I'd be happy to be anywhere else than here at home, but I wont get further into that.
THe thing is that I just don't get why I cant be with him, if I'm going to the US anyway. I wanna study there, but I find it much more unsafe for me to be with some complete strangers rather than someone I at least know... The strangers could be psychoes too... or sumthing...
I've been wanting to study in the US before I even met him, and now that the opportunity is there, I really don't wanna waste it....



Well i guess you're right... but I do think it reduces the chances of him being a psycho a bit >_< Most people wouldn't wanna spend a whole year waiting for someone if the intentions were bad... unless they are highly dependant... like that guy....



Well... I kinda know his history... And I know friends that are friends with him and stuff....

i don't know *shrugs* and i really hate to keep sounding negative BUT i think you need to be careful. and i also think that you want out of a bad situation so you're jumping into moving to the US to be with Him as a way to get out of it, and usually that only means trouble..i guess i'll just stop because all i'm doing is being negative without really meaning to, i guess i just don't understand the rush of moving here DURING your FIRST meet to get out of a bad situation at home..maybe that should be dealt with first??

 

[Little_Kitten]

i don't know *shrugs* and i really hate to keep sounding negative BUT i think you need to be careful. and i also think that you want out of a bad situation so you're jumping into moving to the US to be with Him as a way to get out of it, and usually that only means trouble..i guess i'll just stop because all i'm doing is being negative without really meaning to, i guess i just don't understand the rush of moving here DURING your FIRST meet to get out of a bad situation at home..maybe that should be dealt with first??

Actually... I don't know either... I keep struggling between making the "right" choice, or.. the choice everyone wants me to make, and making the choice that I know will me me happiest... I don't mean to rush it really... But I dunno...
Today I did some thinking.... And Maybe I should take up my dad's offer anyway... I mean... If I don't move in with my love right I can't visit him often and stuff and decide if it's really a good choice. I mean.. My dad doesn't have to know where I stay anyway :-/
I could just meet him daily and see if we really have "it"... I'm 100% sure we do... but I also need a backup plan I guess.... If it doesn't work out, it's not gonna change my plans about studying in the US...
But I'm sure it will all be fine... I'm just quite emotional lately. I have no idea why im rushing so much to be honest... I guess it's because I've never been truly happy... And I want it so much...

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Actually... I don't know either... I keep struggling between making the "right" choice, or.. the choice everyone wants me to make, and making the choice that I know will me me happiest... I don't mean to rush it really... But I dunno...
Today I did some thinking.... And Maybe I should take up my dad's offer anyway... I mean... If I don't move in with my love right I can't visit him often and stuff and decide if it's really a good choice. I mean.. My dad doesn't have to know where I stay anyway :-/
I could just meet him daily and see if we really have "it"... I'm 100% sure we do... but I also need a backup plan I guess.... If it doesn't work out, it's not gonna change my plans about studying in the US...
But I'm sure it will all be fine... I'm just quite emotional lately. I have no idea why im rushing so much to be honest... I guess it's because I've never been truly happy... And I want it so much...

i understand that, trust me, but me and Master have been together for almost 4 years, He's moving here later this year (not sure exactly when) and He's not moving me in with me right off the bat, and by the time He moves here we will have met 3 times face to face. and trust me we are 99.99% sure it's meant to be, but i still feel Him moving straight in with me (even after 4 years of online) would be rushing it too much. life is a journey and you really need to enjoy it instead of just trying to rush into things to be 'happy' because nine times out of ten when you do that, you find yourself the exact oppisite of what you were trying for. you do need to stay somewhere else when you first get to the US, and then gradually work your way to moving in with Him if it works out. if it doesn't work out, and you are living in His home, and you have no way to get back to your home, then what?? you have no where to go.

we'd all like to believe that because we've been with someone over the internet for a year or whatever that we KNOW it will work out and we don't need a plan B...but unfortunately that's not the reality of it. you said maybe you should take up your dad's offer, what exactly was his offer??

 

[intothewoods]

Actually... I don't know either... I keep struggling between making the "right" choice, or.. the choice everyone wants me to make, and making the choice that I know will me me happiest... I don't mean to rush it really... But I dunno...
Today I did some thinking.... And Maybe I should take up my dad's offer anyway... I mean... If I don't move in with my love right I can't visit him often and stuff and decide if it's really a good choice. I mean.. My dad doesn't have to know where I stay anyway :-/
I could just meet him daily and see if we really have "it"... I'm 100% sure we do... but I also need a backup plan I guess.... If it doesn't work out, it's not gonna change my plans about studying in the US...
But I'm sure it will all be fine... I'm just quite emotional lately. I have no idea why im rushing so much to be honest... I guess it's because I've never been truly happy... And I want it so much...

First of all, the GED is a test you can take and it's the equivalent of a high school diploma. You're 18. It's time to go to college. Unless you're not 18...

Second, do whatever you want - but here's my advice. You're 18. You're too young to get married. Going to school in the US is a fine idea though, so if it doesn't work out with him, you'll be in school. If it does work out with him, you'll still be in school. End of lecture.

Hope everyone had a good weekend!

 

[the captians wench]

hm.. What exactly is GED?
And the deal about visiting before moving... I'm running out of time... Cos schools start again in a few months there, and I don't wanna waste another year.



Well I know it's nuts.. but If I don't do it, it's gonna haunt me forever. You don't really understand the situation I'm in... I'd be happy to be anywhere else than here at home, but I wont get further into that.
THe thing is that I just don't get why I cant be with him, if I'm going to the US anyway. I wanna study there, but I find it much more unsafe for me to be with some complete strangers rather than someone I at least know... The strangers could be psychoes too... or sumthing...
I've been wanting to study in the US before I even met him, and now that the opportunity is there, I really don't wanna waste it....



Well i guess you're right... but I do think it reduces the chances of him being a psycho a bit >_< Most people wouldn't wanna spend a whole year waiting for someone if the intentions were bad... unless they are highly dependant... like that guy....



Well... I kinda know his history... And I know friends that are friends with him and stuff....

When I was 18 I was totally in love with this guy. we dated thru high school so I felt like I really knew him and that this was as happy as I could get. My mom was driving me out of the house because she couldn't handle the stress of me being there, taking care of my dieing step dad and my brother and all the crap he got into. It got to the point where I couldn't stand being in that house any more. I was an adult damn it, and my mom was treating me like I was 5. My step dad on the other hand was very suportive of me and didn't want me to go. But I *had* to get out. So I married my high school sweet heart and moved into a new apt with him.

It was pretty obvious right away that things weren't going to work out. But I was married, never held a job more than 6 months, and I ended up having a nervous break down that year.

Now I'm on my own, devorsing (been seperated for 2 years), and just starting to get my life in order. things are looking better for me now, but had I not rushed into getting married I'd probably be graduating collage now. I don't think I'd change my choices in life, because it's those choices that lead me to my love, but I realize my life would be a lot different if I had made different ones. (duh *giggles*) Whether that's good or bad, who's to say.

But as hard as it's been for me to get back on my own feet after marrying so young, it would be umpteen times harder for some one who is not native to this country. Just think about it before you leap into something big like that. You're young, there's still plenty of time. And you don't have to start school in the fall, you could pick up at winter or spring semester. Just so you aren't basing things on the notion that you have to get in order by fall to attend school here.

 

[Little_Kitten]

i understand that, trust me, but me and Master have been together for almost 4 years, He's moving here later this year (not sure exactly when) and He's not moving me in with me right off the bat, and by the time He moves here we will have met 3 times face to face. and trust me we are 99.99% sure it's meant to be, but i still feel Him moving straight in with me (even after 4 years of online) would be rushing it too much. life is a journey and you really need to enjoy it instead of just trying to rush into things to be 'happy' because nine times out of ten when you do that, you find yourself the exact oppisite of what you were trying for. you do need to stay somewhere else when you first get to the US, and then gradually work your way to moving in with Him if it works out. if it doesn't work out, and you are living in His home, and you have no way to get back to your home, then what?? you have no where to go.

we'd all like to believe that because we've been with someone over the internet for a year or whatever that we KNOW it will work out and we don't need a plan B...but unfortunately that's not the reality of it. you said maybe you should take up your dad's offer, what exactly was his offer??

Well... I do agree.. I have been doing some thinking and maybe I should just stay somewhere else first... and see if it works.....

Anyway.. About the moving in part... I'll probably wait, but it's different from people top people when they feel ready for each other...
An on the marriage part. I'll probably never gonna get married because I don't believe in it. i wouldn't feel more committed to the relationship just because of a contract. I'm not religious. If it's not meant to be, its not meant to be. Why have a piece of paper to say we're a couple? I never understood marriage

And really... He isn't the only reason I'm going... I've always wanted to study in the US... Get out in the world and really experience something...

Anyway... I'm working on a plan on how to get there. I need to make some phone calls and talk to some counselors. There are questions I need answered. I really wanna do this, cos there are too many things holding me back here in Denmark too.

Anyway.... if any of you can answer this... Is it possible at all to go to higschool.. even if i'm 18 or whatever? I'm not educated enough to get in college. And... I guess I wouldn't mind if people where younger than me.... THen I can just feel more uniquee or sumthing. <.<

 

[Little_Kitten]

And you don't have to start school in the fall, you could pick up at winter or spring semester. Just so you aren't basing things on the notion that you have to get in order by fall to attend school here.

Well.. I'd liek to start school as soon as possible... they start in 5 months, right? If I can start school after summer it would be great... But I didn't know you can start in the middle of it all too o.o

 

[intothewoods]

An on the marriage part. I'll probably never gonna get married because I don't believe in it. i wouldn't feel more committed to the relationship just because of a contract. I'm not religious. If it's not meant to be, its not meant to be. Why have a piece of paper to say we're a couple? I never understood marriage.

Don't look at me. If you have kids, I think it's important. But you're years away from all that, right? Isn't birth control awesome?

And really... He isn't the only reason I'm going... I've always wanted to study in the US... Get out in the world and really experience something...

Totally, and anyway, it's Pennsylvania. What's the worst that could happen? You get kidnapped by the Amish?

Anyway.... if any of you can answer this... Is it possible at all to go to higschool.. even if i'm 18 or whatever? I'm not educated enough to get in college. And... I guess I wouldn't mind if people where younger than me.... THen I can just feel more uniquee or sumthing. <.<

Um, not sure, but American high school isn't all that much fun. TRUST ME. What about community or junior college? It's two years and you could try out different courses and see what you like. It's cheaper than university.

 

[Little_Kitten]

Don't look at me. If you have kids, I think it's important. But you're years away from all that, right? Isn't birth control awesome?

Uh... well.. Even if I had kids(which i doubt i'll get), I don't think I'll ever get married ... I just don't see the reason for it.. it's just a piece of paper.. for me that is.

Totally, and anyway, it's Pennsylvania. What's the worst that could happen? You get kidnapped by the Amish?

Um... I dunno what you mean, but ok lol.. sorry >_<

Um, not sure, but American high school isn't all that much fun. TRUST ME. What about community or junior college? It's two years and you could try out different courses and see what you like. It's cheaper than university.

Now there's a thing called junior college too? >_< Please do explain...
Thank you

 

[littleone77]

i tend to disagree with that statement. i was 'with' someone online for over a year, finally decided to meet, after meeting him and deciding it wasn't going to work out, he began stalking me. 'bad' people will wait out whatever time they need to to get to their victims..i'm not saying this is the case but to say 'no one does online that long who has bad intentions', from MY experience is a very FALSE statement

Easy tiger...Friends? I understand where you are coming from completly. I would add however he (little kitten's him) is not going to show his true colors if he indeed has any until after their meeting. The bottom line as you so stated is if you are going to get hurt, you are going to get hurt...nothng is going to alter your fate in that sense. Its been my experience that those who have the patience to wait year(s) versus a few months are either sincere or a pyscho path as you have encountered.

 

[littleone77]

Uh... well.. Even if I had kids(which i doubt i'll get), I don't think I'll ever get married ... I just don't see the reason for it.. it's just a piece of paper.. for me that is.

My last word on this honest.

We all have a path in life. There are already trouble spots ahead for us and places of immense happiness. As you said, what will be will be. If being with him is a mistake for you, take the chance and perhaps learn from it. On the other hand it just might work out wonderfully for you both. At this point no one really knows. We all just have our own opinions. People have given me this same talk although for different reasons. My response is...Its my life, my mistakes to make. Until I make them I cannot grow as a person.

Although its painful to watch others make what we might consider bad choices its ultimately not our place to step in. We can only say so much before they do what they want to do.

Those who care for you will be there for you even when you fall and when you fly.

Bye~

 

[intothewoods]

Oy vey, this is too much work for me.

Uh... well.. Even if I had kids(which i doubt i'll get), I don't think I'll ever get married ... I just don't see the reason for it.. it's just a piece of paper.. for me that is.

I'll skip this one.

Um... I dunno what you mean, but ok lol.. sorry >_<

The Amish are ... oh for pete's sake, that's what the internet is for.

here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amish

Now there's a thing called junior college too? >_< Please do explain...
Thank you

Well, they are mostly called "community college" now, because they serve more than just the '18 years old and not ready to attend a four year university set'. Sometimes people want to go back to school to brush up on something, or just take a few courses, etc. But I digress. The idea is that you go for two years, take college courses (at a lower cost than four year schools here), and then transfer to a four year university once you're done.