Distance Domination-Support Thread

[the captians wench]

I know exactly how that feels.

Late last winter I think, I was feeling the same thing because it had been MONTHS since I saw S. So I went to the art store and bought a pack of small red envelopes (very small... slightly smaller than index card size), and mailed him a tiny piece of art every week.

Or maybe go on the hunt for the most hideous postcards you can find, and mail one to him every once and a while? (You'd be surprised how many godawful ones there are in tchotchke souvenir shops.)

Good luck to you!

I send postcards when I see them. Mostly of places I talk about a lot since he's never been here. Like I talk about the international market by my house where I've always picked up orange marmalade imported from Ireland because it's the only one that I've found that tastes like my grandpa's. So I've sent him post cards from there. He really likes getting them, and I have fun looking for them.

 

[the captians wench]

In case you haven't looked at the "what made me smile today" thread, I got a surprize phone call this morning from Jounar. He was pissed and wanted to vent a little, and rang me to do so.

It really made me feel all giddy that he would choose to ring me to vent on. And it made me realize how much more freedom we have to do that lately. A year ago our phone time, and even text time was more limited. Now we can do both freely, and it has closed the gap a bit.

 

[ecstaticsub]

It's time for a visit. I'm getting irritable. I'm getting needy and snappy at stupid stuff. Unfortunately, it is not a good time right now. Summer is always difficult to plan a visit. But I need a visit. I need to take care of my Daddy.


Now I just have to figure out a way to make it so.

 

[the captians wench]

I hope you can work out a visit ES

 

[KoPilot]

5 weeks from today... -strums fingers-

 

[the captians wench]

5 weeks from today... -strums fingers-

*giggles* I think it gets harder when you're that close.

I started packing, and unpacking, and repacking, about twice a week when I was three months away. By 5 weeks, it was a daily thing.

 

[KoPilot]

*giggles* I think it gets harder when you're that close.

I started packing, and unpacking, and repacking, about twice a week when I was three months away. By 5 weeks, it was a daily thing.

LOL! I actually find that really cute. I would probably do that if I didn't travel so goddamn much already... I'm basically built for transience these days, and I could pack for a week's vacation in 20 minutes if I had to. Living out of your suitcase is an interesting feeling. It was cool at first, but now it's just frustrating not having any real home base.

 

[the captians wench]

LOL! I actually find that really cute. I would probably do that if I didn't travel so goddamn much already... I'm basically built for transience these days, and I could pack for a week's vacation in 20 minutes if I had to. Living out of your suitcase is an interesting feeling. It was cool at first, but now it's just frustrating not having any real home base.

I do it every time, and only once have I gotten to actually make it to the airport.

But everytime it gets with in 2 months of the date, I start packing. Even when he's telling me it's not likely going to happen this time, I'm still packing, "just in case".

The first time was my first real trip anywhere. I've done weekend get aways with in a few hours drive, but my first trip to see him was my first flight, and my first time traveling internationally. Mom says I always have to do it up big when I do something. *giggles* Anyway, as much as I was excited to spend time face to face with him, I was also excited to fly for the first time, and to see a new country for the first time. Especially one that's right there where all the history that's inspired my costumes is apart of. It was magical in so many ways.

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!
why can nothing go right?
Sir and I have alot of plans for this week which look like they are all about to fall through.
On Sat he had a really bad fall and has broken his ankle. He is in horrible pain, can't drive because the pain killers are so strong.
So gutted its untrue, i have missed him so badly, and the way life is going we wont be able to meet up before September
oh and its my birthday, which i was really looking forwards to sharing with him. somebody pass the bottle, Daisy wants to get wrecked!!

 

[the captians wench]

Sorry you're having to change plans. I know how much that sucks.

Hope you can make them up soon.

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

Thanks Wenchie, I guess you know how much it sucks when you have made the plans counted down the months, weeks then days only to have it scuppered at the last minute.
I really hope he is ok, looks like on top of the broken ankle, he may have done something nasty to his collar bone too. He was on the way to hospital when we spoke earlier, and looked like he was in a lot of pain

Get well soon Sir xxxx

 

[KoPilot]

Oh wow, that sounds awful... best of luck to the both of you, and I hope your Sir has a speedy recovery!

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

Oh wow, that sounds awful... best of luck to the both of you, and I hope your Sir has a speedy recovery!

Thanks KoPilot!
News after the hospital visit, he has ripped part of the pec muscle from his shoulder (if that makes sense) it is still partially attached, but excrutiatingly painful and swollen, and has to be in a sling for at least 2 weeks, bear in mind he also cannot put any weight on his foot and has to use crutches, so movement is pretty limited.
Feeling for him!!

 

[ecstaticsub]

Thanks KoPilot!
News after the hospital visit, he has ripped part of the pec muscle from his shoulder (if that makes sense) it is still partially attached, but excrutiatingly painful and swollen, and has to be in a sling for at least 2 weeks, bear in mind he also cannot put any weight on his foot and has to use crutches, so movement is pretty limited.
Feeling for him!!

Ouch! That hurt just to read it. One of the biggest issues with LDR's is when the other gets injured or in hospital or otherwise needs care and we can't be there to take care of them. It's very frustrating, I feel for you both.

 

[KoPilot]

Thanks KoPilot!
News after the hospital visit, he has ripped part of the pec muscle from his shoulder (if that makes sense) it is still partially attached, but excrutiatingly painful and swollen, and has to be in a sling for at least 2 weeks, bear in mind he also cannot put any weight on his foot and has to use crutches, so movement is pretty limited.
Feeling for him!!

Ow ow ow ow! D:

 

[KoPilot]

Ouch! That hurt just to read it. One of the biggest issues with LDR's is when the other gets injured or in hospital or otherwise needs care and we can't be there to take care of them. It's very frustrating, I feel for you both.

Yeah, that's always really tough. In fact, I find not being able to care for your partner one of the hardest parts of being in an LDR. S lives alone as he moved to Vancouver from Calgary several years ago, and is now a 5 hour drive from his closest relative. He also had a horrible falling out with his friends of over 10 years who he moved with (they were all band-mates and the work, coupled with the drug use and increasing insensitivity of the other members drove him to get the hell out of that situation), so he doesn't even have any close friends nearby anymore. I'm always worried that something will happen to him and I won't be there to help... or that something really bad will happen and I won't even know until days later.

...but on a more positive note, I see him in 4 weeks~

 

[the captians wench]

Thanks Wenchie, I guess you know how much it sucks when you have made the plans counted down the months, weeks then days only to have it scuppered at the last minute.
I really hope he is ok, looks like on top of the broken ankle, he may have done something nasty to his collar bone too. He was on the way to hospital when we spoke earlier, and looked like he was in a lot of pain

Get well soon Sir xxxx

*soft smile* Yeah I know that feeling pretty well.

I do hope he recovers soon.

...but on a more positive note, I see him in 4 weeks~

Yah!

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

KoPilot, 4 weeks will fly by!! hope you both have a fantastic time!!
would he consider moving if the friends and family situation is so bad? would be good to be closer (she says wishfully thinking...)

Chatted to Sir tonite, he is very doped up on painkillers and just wants to sleep, I really hope he recovers quickly. I just hate seeing him in so much pain

 

[KoPilot]

KoPilot, 4 weeks will fly by!! hope you both have a fantastic time!!
would he consider moving if the friends and family situation is so bad? would be good to be closer (she says wishfully thinking...)

Welp, we've talked about it, because permanently moving away from my family is going to be very hard for me... I think the only way that he'd move to the states is if he got his dream job down in San Diego. He says that he's afraid to move down here, quite frankly, and I don't blame him. (Not to mention that it'll be much harder for him to move than I.) So the current plan is I move up there after graduation. Besides... Canada's beautiful outdoors are more easily accessible than mine!

Chatted to Sir tonite, he is very doped up on painkillers and just wants to sleep, I really hope he recovers quickly. I just hate seeing him in so much pain

 

[the captians wench]

see, I have no issues moving over there. I'm not very close to most of my family so I'm ready to move today if he asked me.

There's just one little thing that holds us. Getting "permission to land" in Ireland is damn near impossible unless you're an EU citizen or 3rd gen or less Irish imigrant. So the only way I have found that I would be able to move there is if we get married, and that is no easy task either. I have to be there for a week or two (I can't remember which) to establish residency before we can even file for permission to marry. When we file, we have to prove things like how we know each other, how long we've known each other, and that we know each other well. Then it's a 3 month wait (min) before we can actually marry. And we can't be married by a religous official, or in a religous building or manner because he was born catholic, and me prodistant so neither of us are fit to be married in a religous manner because we don't meet the religous requirements of which ever religion we choose. And from what I've read in the laws which could be wrong, the only religions they recognize are catholic and Anglican, so I'm even the wrong kind of proddy.

Then if we get past all of that, and do get married, then I can file for a visa, and even there I can be denied (tho it's not likely because I would gain the rights of a "spouse of a citizen")

Yes, I've done my home work. I even know which stuff I'd take with me, what would stay here in storage and what would be sold. I really am ready as soon as he gives the green light. He's a little more causious.

 

[KoPilot]

see, I have no issues moving over there. I'm not very close to most of my family so I'm ready to move today if he asked me.

There's just one little thing that holds us. Getting "permission to land" in Ireland is damn near impossible unless you're an EU citizen or 3rd gen or less Irish imigrant. So the only way I have found that I would be able to move there is if we get married, and that is no easy task either. I have to be there for a week or two (I can't remember which) to establish residency before we can even file for permission to marry. When we file, we have to prove things like how we know each other, how long we've known each other, and that we know each other well. Then it's a 3 month wait (min) before we can actually marry. And we can't be married by a religous official, or in a religous building or manner because he was born catholic, and me prodistant so neither of us are fit to be married in a religous manner because we don't meet the religous requirements of which ever religion we choose. And from what I've read in the laws which could be wrong, the only religions they recognize are catholic and Anglican, so I'm even the wrong kind of proddy.

Then if we get past all of that, and do get married, then I can file for a visa, and even there I can be denied (tho it's not likely because I would gain the rights of a "spouse of a citizen")

Yes, I've done my home work. I even know which stuff I'd take with me, what would stay here in storage and what would be sold. I really am ready as soon as he gives the green light. He's a little more causious.

Thinking about all that kinds of stuff makes me warm and happy... and boy have I done research too! For me, the 'M' word is out of the question; I just feel way too young for that (21) and not to mention that I'm still getting used to the idea that it could very well be in the cards for us, because I'd always pictured myself turning into a crazy cat lady, alone and hermetic (probably since the age of 7). So for now, we're going to try and nab me PR status as a conjugal partner (common-law is impossible), which I'm expecting will be a long and arduous process. I'm terrified that my health situation will bar me from getting in, but... we'll cross that bridge should we come to it.

But boy-howdy, YOU sound like you're in for quite the ride once you're ready to start your immigration process. And all those religious complications sound absolutely ridiculous! Honestly, good luck to you, though. And I'm very curious to see how all of that will pan out when the time comes...

 

[the captians wench]

I've been married and devorced already. Was married right out of highschool.

For a time I feared it, but in this case I don't. Moving 3500 miles away from anything familure is so much more commitment, in my eyes, than a little piece of paper that makes our union "leagal and officail" that "the M word" doesn't scare me anymore. I haven't pestered him too much on the topic. I figure he has a right to have me over there a few times before I get too demanding when it comes to that little piece of paper.

What would be easiest as far as imigration is concerned would be if we got married here, and I entered Ireland as his wife. It would make for the easiest transition and the least amount of paperwork. But the thought of getting married in an Irish castle is just too tempting.

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

How about getting married in the Bahamas then returning as a married couple!

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I've been married and devorced already. Was married right out of highschool.

For a time I feared it, but in this case I don't. Moving 3500 miles away from anything familure is so much more commitment, in my eyes, than a little piece of paper that makes our union "leagal and officail" that "the M word" doesn't scare me anymore. I haven't pestered him too much on the topic. I figure he has a right to have me over there a few times before I get too demanding when it comes to that little piece of paper.

What would be easiest as far as imigration is concerned would be if we got married here, and I entered Ireland as his wife. It would make for the easiest transition and the least amount of paperwork. But the thought of getting married in an Irish castle is just too tempting.

Couldn't you have a 'paper getting' wedding and then a castle wedding?

I know you're not fussed on the idea of marriage now, you can take it or leave it, but if the paper makes it easier to get in...

 

[the captians wench]

How about getting married in the Bahamas then returning as a married couple!

*giggles* I'm going to have hard enough time getting him to agree to get on a plane period, let alone someplace that warm. I think he'd melt. When they get into the 80's over there he complains that the heat is unbearable!

Couldn't you have a 'paper getting' wedding and then a castle wedding?

I know you're not fussed on the idea of marriage now, you can take it or leave it, but if the paper makes it easier to get in...

I'm kind of indifferent to the idea actually. Marriage seems more like a leagal contract to me than anything else at this point in time. Which is a complete 180 from my views when I was 18.

I am very keen on the idea of a wedding though. I didn't get a real wedding the first time around. We eloped, and planed on having the wedding for our 5th anniversery. We didn't make it to 2.

Maybe it's just because I'm feeling cranky lately, or maybe it's because deep down I think that if I play it off like it's no big thing then Jounar will come around quicker, but words like "marriage" and "wedding" just don't hold the same warm fuzzy romantic happily ever after feeling that they did for me before. *shrug*