Discoveries & Rediscoveries

[SimonDoom]

I'd like to come back to the femdom/writing idea if I may.

Here's how I'm understanding it (by all means, open to correction/modification where it may apply):
Let's say we have someone who greatly enjoys writing, and finds excitement in directing some of this writing interest towards the more erotically charged territories of fiction. There is also fascination with femdom themes (or even sexually aggressive females; maybe legitimate reasons her object of conquest expresses reluctance).

And let's say by some combo of hard work and miracle a story comes out just damn near perfect. Everything about it: prose style, compelling story, believable characters, grammar is solid, strong imagery... everything.

I am understanding that if presented on LIterotica it would indeed find appreciative readership. However, the writer should still prepare for rough waters, just because of the subject matter, or happening to choose the not-best category; not because of the prose or the general way it's written (although in my case it probably is the prose, but hey I'm in a dreamy mood right now).

So instead of the writer sliding into a funk of self-doubt, rereading the poorly-received story, coming to the Hangout with endless questions, wondering, "okay I'm no Nabokov, never will be, but is my writing really that bad?"

Is it much different from ANY reading market? I'm sure Hesse and Nabokov have plenty of haters. Nabokov, in particular, I am certain, has many readers who hate his guts, and his words, because he dared to write Lolita, which they find offensive, or because they find him to be an insufferable snob whose prose seems to them unreasonably difficult. You just have to write, try to find your best audience, and not care too much about those for whom you are not writing.

Go ahead and write femdom. It's a great topic with almost limitless possibilities. It's an erotic topic but you can decide how erotic you want it to be.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Nabokov penned The Enchanter, many years before Lolita which is also about an underage girl beguiling an older man. So, many would have reasons, aplenty, to hate him. I'm sure he had a few issues himself.

 

[gunhilltrain]

t_h_secrest: the forum is supposed to be about writing, although there are plenty of digressions of course. None of us (I'd guess) can really diagnose anything about you beyond that. But in your latest post, you really seem to be babbling. I can barely understand what you're talking about, much less figure out what you want from all this. In your earlier posts (it's been a week now?) you were at least coherent about what you had done and what you were asking.

This may sound harsh, but maybe you should give yourself another week and try writing a story before posting again. Or maybe you can't write now, but at least you (and we) can confirm that by the end of the week.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Like I said, AADD!

 

[gunhilltrain]

Like I said, AADD!

Could be, but I don't feel comfortable diagnosing people over the Internet. Even if I know them personally, I might point them in the right direction for help. (I can't remember a specific time I actually did that.) All I have from his profile is that he joined (or rejoined maybe) a month ago. That, and his posts of course.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Yeah, I'm shooting in the dark on this, but he certainly has all the earmarks. I'm grateful the only disorder I contend with (other than mild insanity) is dyslexia.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Nabokov penned The Enchanter, many years before Lolita which is also about an underage girl beguiling an older man. So, many would have reasons, aplenty, to hate him. I'm sure he had a few issues himself.

The difference, though, is that "haters" of print material back then had no forum in which to vent their personal dislike of content, they just wouldn't buy the book. In effect, they clicked back, moved to the next shelf in the bookshop.

Here on Lit, though, the dynamic is different, because the obnoxious can tell us what they don't like.

So it's down to each author to arm themselves against that, using whatever tools Lit provides and whatever category strategies they feel will work best to avoid the plague, and to adopt whatever personal resilience techniques they can to avoid being fucked about by someone else's bile.

Because that's all it is, someone's opinion, often expressed with no sensitivity, little intelligence, and rarely any wit. "Delete" is your best friend in circumstances like this.

Back in the print only days, wasn't the expression, "Publish, or be damned"?

 

[gunhilltrain]

Yeah, I'm shooting in the dark on this, but he certainly has all the earmarks. I'm grateful the only disorder I contend with (other than mild insanity) is dyslexia.

Everybody on here probably has mild insanity. By co-incidence, I happen to be writing a femdom story (it's'pretty mild perhaps) for another site and I imagined giving him some - pointers? But as Dorothy Parker said, “Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.” If he can't do that . . .

 

[MillieDynamite]

Crap, speaking of dyslexia, Donnie seem to be eating my special glasses right now. The terrible thing is, he'll ruin his supper!

 

[XerXesXu]

Back in the print only days, wasn't the expression, "Publish, or be damned"?

'Publish, AND be damned.'

 

[gunhilltrain]

'Publish, AND be damned.'

He doesn't seem able to do it, but we can't be his therapist.

 

[lovecraft68]

I'd like to come back to the femdom/writing idea if I may.

Here's how I'm understanding it (by all means, open to correction/modification where it may apply):
Let's say we have someone who greatly enjoys writing, and finds excitement in directing some of this writing interest towards the more erotically charged territories of fiction. There is also fascination with femdom themes (or even sexually aggressive females; maybe legitimate reasons her object of conquest expresses reluctance).

And let's say by some combo of hard work and miracle a story comes out just damn near perfect. Everything about it: prose style, compelling story, believable characters, grammar is solid, strong imagery... everything.

I am understanding that if presented on LIterotica it would indeed find appreciative readership. However, the writer should still prepare for rough waters, just because of the subject matter, or happening to choose the not-best category; not because of the prose or the general way it's written (although in my case it probably is the prose, but hey I'm in a dreamy mood right now).

So instead of the writer sliding into a funk of self-doubt, rereading the poorly-received story, coming to the Hangout with endless questions, wondering, "okay I'm no Nabokov, never will be, but is my writing really that bad?"

the happier (and mentally healthier) way to see it is to understand that what feels like a lackluster reception on Literotica might be for little other reason than a population of readers who are passionate about subject matter they do not want to read or even see published.

Herman Hesse comes back from the dead because he must write one more work. Creates the most beautiful piece of literature in all of human history. Comes to Lit, drops it in Loving Wives. ???

Hm, I smell story.

I am a subscriber to the classic mantra of Just Do It.
Write the story in your mind. Don't worry about who likes or doesn't like what. You want to shape your story, not let outside forces control it. Creativity dies within boundaries.

Once the story is published, its as you say, some will enjoy it, some won't. But even then, focus on who did enjoy it and use it as inspiration for the next story in the sense of "wow, someone likes my work!" Hater gonna hate, and sometimes its the very idea of the topic and not your story itself. Some troll entire categories without reading.

Those things are out of your control. What's within your control is writing the story so..

Just do it, or your mind will spin the fun right out of it.

 

[lovecraft68]

Everybody on here probably has mild insanity. By co-incidence, I happen to be writing a femdom story (it's'pretty mild perhaps) for another site and I imagined giving him some - pointers? But as Dorothy Parker said, “Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.” If he can't do that . . .

I thought about offering him some help, but my femdom stories are more hardcore and heavy on the humiliation, so I tend to be skewed towards one end of the spectrum.

 

[MillieDynamite]

I thought about offering him some help, but my femdom stories are more hardcore and heavy on the humiliation, so I tend to be skewed towards one end of the spectrum.

A good femdom should be harsh, demanding, and humiliate their worms, I mean subs, often with enthusiasm.

 

[lovecraft68]

A good femdom should be harsh, demanding, and humiliate their worms, I mean subs, often with enthusiasm.

Damn straight, I mean, I'm not worthy of your reply, Mistress
Something I haven't written yet(well not for a full story) is F/F femdom. There is a site called whipped ass (part of the kink dot com umbrella) that featured lesbian femdom and it is insanely hot.

 

[t_h_seacrest]

Damn straight, I mean, I'm not worthy of your reply, Mistress
Something I haven't written yet(well not for a full story) is F/F femdom. There is a site called whipped ass (part of the kink dot com umbrella) that featured lesbian femdom and it is insanely hot.

One of the few I'm working on is this (F/F femdom).

 

[lovecraft68]

One of the few I'm working on is this (F/F femdom).

I think part of the issue is you need to pick something and stay with it until complete.
Notice I said I have yet to write it even thought it appeals to me. Why is that? Because the right idea has not struck me hard enough to make me say "Yeah, that's it, I'm writing that" until that happens I default to whatever idea is strongest in my mind. I think you should try that

 

[gunhilltrain]

Damn straight, I mean, I'm not worthy of your reply, Mistress
Something I haven't written yet(well not for a full story) is F/F femdom. There is a site called whipped ass (part of the kink dot com umbrella) that featured lesbian femdom and it is insanely hot.

Mine tend to be comedies of a sort - game playing between two people who already now each other well. There is one story, however, about a part-time, ad hoc hooker who says this about the dominatrix gigs she sometimes gets: "Female domination was contradictory in a way because the customers were paying me to take control over what happened to them. Yet, like all johns, they had the ultimate power because they were offering the money."

 

[t_h_seacrest]

I think part of the issue is you need to pick something and stay with it until complete.
Notice I said I have yet to write it even thought it appeals to me. Why is that? Because the right idea has not struck me hard enough to make me say "Yeah, that's it, I'm writing that" until that happens I default to whatever idea is strongest in my mind. I think you should try that

that was mainly to add to the conversation about femdom themes

 

[gunhilltrain]

One of the few I'm working on is this (F/F femdom).

Sorry, I guess we've been talking about you behind your back in a way but you did ask for advice originally. I think anything we tell you at this point ("just do it!") is not going to be very helpful. The thing I finally came up with is that you should take a break from posting messages until you have something done. (A completed story would be ideal!) Keep in mind that you can't ink to a story in the Story Feedback section until it has been published.

My feeling is that merely sending pieces to us via a PM may be more of a hindrance than a help because it's going to further slow you down. Story Ideas limits the amount of material that can be posted - I think it may be three paragraphs max. It's mostly about proposed stories, not those that are works in progress. For the latter you would probably need a volunteer editor.

 

[gunhilltrain]

I think part of the issue is you need to pick something and stay with it until complete.
Notice I said I have yet to write it even thought it appeals to me. Why is that? Because the right idea has not struck me hard enough to make me say "Yeah, that's it, I'm writing that" until that happens I default to whatever idea is strongest in my mind. I think you should try that

t_h_seacrest: all this may be true but I think you've drifted well beyond this point by now. It's all going around in circles because it's been said before. I'm at a loss about what to tell you beyond what I wrote in my message above.

 

[lovecraft68]

Mine tend to be comedies of a sort - game playing between two people who already now each other well. There is one story, however, about a part-time, ad hoc hooker who says this about the dominatrix gigs she sometimes gets: "Female domination was contradictory in a way because the customers were paying me to take control over what happened to them. Yet, like all johns, they had the ultimate power because they were offering the money."

This is in essence the true element in all BDSM-and how to quickly discern a poser or sadist- the Oxy moron of the lifestyle is the submissive is in control at all times. In real D/s encounters and relationships the boundaries are set in advance and by the sub. They desire to be used in whatever manner, but within their established personal limits. In easy terms they're the shot caller, but ahead of time so the encounter itself flows and the top knows how far they can go.

My advice to women(although it can apply to men as well) especially after EL James decided to tell them that stalking and abuse is sexy and romantic, is if you ask the question who is in control and the answer is the dom? Move along from them.

 

[gunhilltrain]

This is in essence the true element in all BDSM-and how to quickly discern a poser or sadist- the Oxy moron of the lifestyle is the submissive is in control at all times. In real D/s encounters and relationships the boundaries are set in advance and by the sub. They desire to be used in whatever manner, but within their established personal limits. In easy terms they're the shot caller, but ahead of time so the encounter itself flows and the top knows how far they can go.

My advice to women(although it can apply to men as well) especially after EL James decided to tell them that stalking and abuse is sexy and romantic, is if you ask the question who is in control and the answer is the dom? Move along from them.

I get your point, although the specific quote was about paid transactions. And I was didn't do research about any form of prostitution beyond some random pieces of info I picked up over the years. (There is a guy who has interviewed some prostitutes, among other people, on YouTube - the "Soft White Underbelly" series (weird name) - but I can only take his channel in small doses.)

Anyway, the point of the story was that this woman, after ten months, had become dissatisfied with it all and she takes the option of leaving it. I don't have access to any polls about how prostitutes of any kind feel about what they are doing. I suppose it varies a lot.

As for the amateurs in my stories, that is all guesswork on my part too. They usually know what a "safe word" is although they are not a part of any BDSM community per se. It's usually whatever roles the characters make up as they go along and, more often than not, it's on the mild side. They don't think of it as a "lifestyle," but rather as part of some sexual encounter that lasts a few hours or even less than that.

 

[lovecraft68]

I get your point, although the specific quote was about paid transactions. And I was didn't do research about any form of prostitution beyond some random pieces of info I picked up over the years. (There is a guy who has interviewed some prostitutes, among other people, on YouTube - the "Soft White Underbelly" series (weird name) - but I can only take his channel in small doses.)

Anyway, the point of the story was that this woman, after ten months, had become dissatisfied with it all and she takes the option of leaving it. I don't have access to any polls about how prostitutes of any kind feel about what they are doing. I suppose it varies a lot.

As for the amateurs in my stories, that is all guesswork on my part too. They usually know what a "safe word" is although they are not a part of any BDSM community per se. It's usually whatever roles the characters make up as they go along and, more often than not, it's on the mild side. They don't think of it as a "lifestyle," but rather as part of some sexual encounter that lasts a few hours or even less than that.

I'm familiar with the escort game, both from years ago before I met my wife, but also my cousin worked with two girls who lived together and when they were working they paid him to be in the house to answer the door with the girl and simply say "I'll be out here she needs me so be cool"

He would also drive them to appointments and I would ask him about how they work for a commission piece I did, and a few aspects of several of my stories. For the women who do it right, its not a bad gig providing they're choosing it, but a sad thing for the all the prevalent selling their body for an addiction or desperation.

Safe words are common knowledge so you can't go wrong. Lifestyle is what it's referred to by people who live it at every level rather than weekend warriors.

I was the former, the last few years I've become the latter.

 

[SimonDoom]

that was mainly to add to the conversation about femdom themes

I can't argue with the people who are telling you that you just need to buckle down and write, because they're probably correct, but I'll say I can sympathize because I'm a lazy and undisciplined writer and if I was even a little more disciplined I'd have twice as many stories published as I have. Try different approaches. Do whatever works for you. I find it helps to have multiple irons in the fire rather than one project I am dead set on, but that approach may not work for everyone. Good luck.

Definitely, go with femdom if that's what interests you, and don't worry about those who don't like it.