Dildo Instructions.

[Black_Bird]

1) If you have not already done so, remove from box and remove plastic bag. Caution: Plastic bags are not play toys. Please keep out of reach of small children.

2) Open battery compartment and place two fresh DD batteries into the compartment as shown on illustrated below.

3) Turn on dildo. If your dildo does not function, please check the batteries to make sure they were installed correctly.

4) For anal stimulation, please apply copious amounts of lubrication to the dildo before insertion.

5) Insert into anus or vagina.

6) Push in.

7) Pull out.

8) Repeat steps 6 and 7 as many times necessary to achieve orgasm.

 

[Freya]

Damn, I'm supposed to take it out of the packaging first? Now I understand!

 

[calypso_21]

Oooh...could I get some help here...I got up to step 5...now I need some assistance.

 

[lavender]

 

[lovetoread]

I generally only get the orgasm when it hits my clit...but maybe I am wierd.

 

[PepperminTrish]

I generally only get the orgasm when it hits my clit...but maybe I am wierd.

Nope, you're not wierd.
6 and 7 alone wouldn't do it for me either.

 

[phrodeau]

How do you turn it on? Porno, striptease, what?

 

[Trail48]

Followed instructions carefully

no results

women have all the neat toys

 

[Black_Bird]

Instructions for Man.

1) If you have not already done so, remove "Man" from box and remove plastic bag. Caution: Plastic bags are not play toys. Please keep out of reach of small children.

2) Immediately begin massaging balls and cock until "Man" issues a white gooey substance.

3) Wait eight hours.

4) Massage "Man's" back and feet. Make dinner for "Man".

5) Again massage balls and cock. This time apply your mouth over the head of his cock until "Man" issues a white gooey substance.

6) Wait eight hours.

7) Make breakfast for "Man" while wearing only his button down shirt.

8) If man is not hard at this point, please return to factory. Man is defective. If man is hard at this point, insert cock into vagina or anus. The automatic fucking feature will then activate. Automatic fucking feature may or may not shut down before your orgasm. If it should, start over at step number 2 and repeat. Caution: Man may cause pregnancy.

Enjoy.

 

[Trail48]

Re: Instructions for Man.

1) If you have not already done so, remove "Man" from box and remove plastic bag. Caution: Plastic bags are not play toys. Please keep out of reach of small children.

2) Immediately begin massaging balls and cock until "Man" issues a white gooey substance.

3) Wait eight hours.

4) Massage "Man's" back and feet. Make dinner for "Man".

5) Again massage balls and cock. This time apply your mouth over the head of his cock until "Man" issues a white gooey substance.


6) Wait eight hours.

7) Make breakfast for "Man" while wearing only his button down shirt.

8) If man is not hard at this point, please return to factory. Man is defective. If man is hard at this point, insert cock into vagina or anus. The automatic fucking feature will then activate. Automatic fucking feature may or may not shut down before your orgasm. If it should, start over at step number 2 and repeat. Caution: Man may cause pregnancy.

Enjoy.

thats actually funny!

 

[marksgirl]

Black_Bird

Just where in the hell can I get me one of those "Man" things?

 

[Black_Bird]

Re: Black_Bird

Just where in the hell can I get me one of those "Man" things?

I thought you already had one!

 

[marksgirl]

I do but he is going to be gone alot here in the near future and I need a sub I can return when he gets back!

 

[Saytur]

Oooh...could I get some help here...I got up to step 5...now I need some assistance.

Be right over

 

[Saytur]

Be right over

 

[Detton]

Re: Instructions for Man.

1) If you have not already done so, remove "Man" from box and remove plastic bag. Caution: Plastic bags are not play toys. Please keep out of reach of small children.

2) Immediately begin massaging balls and cock until "Man" issues a white gooey substance.

3) Wait eight hours.

4) Massage "Man's" back and feet. Make dinner for "Man".

5) Again massage balls and cock. This time apply your mouth over the head of his cock until "Man" issues a white gooey substance.

6) Wait eight hours.

7) Make breakfast for "Man" while wearing only his button down shirt.

8) If man is not hard at this point, please return to factory. Man is defective. If man is hard at this point, insert cock into vagina or anus. The automatic fucking feature will then activate. Automatic fucking feature may or may not shut down before your orgasm. If it should, start over at step number 2 and repeat. Caution: Man may cause pregnancy.

Enjoy.

*laughs* Hilarious.

 

[calypso_21]

Be right over

Tease!

 

[J.B.]

Now I understand what I was doing wrong! I was doing #3 before #2.
Thank you BB!




It's "doing" not "doning"

 

[TWB]

1) If you have not already done so, remove from box and remove plastic bag. Caution: Plastic bags are not play toys. Please keep out of reach of small children.

2) Open battery compartment and place two fresh DD batteries into the compartment as shown on illustrated below.

3) Turn on dildo. If your dildo does not function, please check the batteries to make sure they were installed correctly.

4) For anal stimulation, please apply copious amounts of lubrication to the dildo before insertion.

5) Insert into anus or vagina.

6) Push in.

7) Pull out.

8) Repeat steps 6 and 7 as many times necessary to achieve orgasm.

5 6 and seven have made me horny.

 

[binkley]

0) Share your dildo with your friends.

 

[Miss D Meaner]

Instructions for Man.

1) If you have not already done so, remove "Man" from box and remove plastic bag. Caution: Plastic bags are not play toys. Please keep out of reach of small children.

2) Immediately begin massaging balls and cock until "Man" issues a white gooey substance.

3) Wait eight hours.

4) Massage "Man's" back and feet. Make dinner for "Man".

5) Again massage balls and cock. This time apply your mouth over the head of his cock until "Man" issues a white gooey substance.

6) Wait eight hours.

7) Make breakfast for "Man" while wearing only his button down shirt.

8) If man is not hard at this point, please return to factory. Man is defective. If man is hard at this point, insert cock into vagina or anus. The automatic fucking feature will then activate. Automatic fucking feature may or may not shut down before your orgasm. If it should, start over at step number 2 and repeat. Caution: Man may cause pregnancy.

Enjoy.

Oh yep, I most definitely need 1 of em!
Are they on special in a mail order catalog for Male?

The breakfast bit could be hard tho

 

[Sillyman]

What is this 8 hours BS?

 

[Velius]

Re: Black_Bird

Just where in the hell can I get me one of those "Man" things?

*Raises hand.* However, I am a nonstandard model, I don't need to wait eight hours or have you cook breakfast. I have other nonstandard features as well.

 

[Miss D Meaner]

Re: Re: Black_Bird

*Raises hand.* However, I am a nonstandard model, I don't need to wait eight hours or have you cook breakfast. I have other nonstandard features as well.

Do you cum packaged?

Can I order online?

 

[Velius]

Yes, and yes. If you order now, as an (un)limited time special offer I come with a special "I love foreplay, cuddling, and shopping" program.