Differentiate with a Sub name?

[Joshua65]

My wife and I have recently begun exploring the D/s lifestyle. It started with me taking more charge in the bedroom. We’ve had the conversation about whether she just wants me to be the initiator or whether she really wants to be submissive. So far she wants to be more submissive. Neither of us has ever done this before so we are taking it slow and talking a lot. So far we are both enjoying it.

Because we have two small kids, we’ve agreed to keep this new part of our relationship strictly in the bedroom. One thing I have been thinking about a lot is giving her a submissive name. We’ve talked about it and she’s agreeable. However, because I’m new to the Dom role, I’m not sure if this is a good idea or not. My thinking is that it would help differentiate the vanilla part of our relationship from the other. However, since I would like to eventually take this beyond the bedroom, I don’t know if differentiation is a constructive thing or if it would confuse things down the road.

Thoughts?

 

[waaitg]

My wife and I have recently begun exploring the D/s lifestyle. It started with me taking more charge in the bedroom. We’ve had the conversation about whether she just wants me to be the initiator or whether she really wants to be submissive. So far she wants to be more submissive. Neither of us has ever done this before so we are taking it slow and talking a lot. So far we are both enjoying it.

Because we have two small kids, we’ve agreed to keep this new part of our relationship strictly in the bedroom. One thing I have been thinking about a lot is giving her a submissive name. We’ve talked about it and she’s agreeable. However, because I’m new to the Dom role, I’m not sure if this is a good idea or not. My thinking is that it would help differentiate the vanilla part of our relationship from the other. However, since I would like to eventually take this beyond the bedroom, I don’t know if differentiation is a constructive thing or if it would confuse things down the road.

Thoughts?

I think it makes sense mostly because it allows you to operate in a different 'mode' from your normal life. I find that when using a particular word or name, it allows you to communicate in a more effective manner.

Another benefit that you may not see now, but later is if you decide to start attending events in your area, and wish to keep your personal life separate form the community. By getting into the habit now, it makes it easier to avoid a faux pas or revealing stuff by accident at public or semi-public events.

W~

 

[WhirrlingMenace]

I like the idea and for some reason never thought of a sub name. My past Dom I referred to her as Miss (short for Mistress).

 

[knot_sweet]

M/M has pet names for me in the bedroom. They vary between two or three according to the scene. Outside the bedroom, if He chooses to assert His dominance or I am asking His direction, we use tbe phrase "Boss" for Him and "dear" or "darling" for me. It works well so far.

 

[ecstaticsub]

When I became owned I was given a new name by my Dominant. I use it for all non-vanilla parts of my life. I love it. It helps me remember that my D/s relationship is different then the other relationship in my life. I've had it now for over 6 years so it feels very natural.

 

[Joshua65]

Thanks for the input. Now I just have to choose the name. I'm toying with the idea of asking her to pick out three names she likes, and I will choose the final one.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

I think it sounds like an excellent idea.

 

[ponysslave]

If i may, i'd say choose the name on your own. As a sub, I hate making decisions...well...I suppose that can be part of the fun for you doms...

 

[Tryharder62]

I think having a pet name is so sexy just like I think having a secret tattoo somewhere that only your lover would know about is sexy. Have fun. Think beyond the obvious. I think it is a great idea.