Different types of submission?

[ImaMember]

How many major types of submission are there? Or are there just two big one: Real, Honest Submission and Play Submission? Can real submissives vary in themselves, in what they want out of it emotionally, or do they all want the same thing emotionally? I've heard of Dom's disagreeing with other Dom's on being a Dom (technique, what it is and isnt, etc), but haven't really heard of submissives talking about different ways of submission, or types of it.

Also, i am looking for an experienced sub or Dominant (any gender) to help me out in my concerns of submission. Just having some difficulties in the current relationship, and would like advice from another who has more experience than i do (a year). It's difficult to explain it all in the boards, so if anyone has free time on instant messaging, pleas PM me to get my screen name.

Or if i am just crazy, just let me know that too.

 

[BlueSugar]

there is the BDSM library, its a sticky at the top of the threads column it may answer a few of your inquiries



(( eee! i just did my first 'should look up the library' posts! ))

 

[Mr Blonde]

Well, here is a conceptual model that discusses nine different types of submission:


1. THE OUTRIGHT NON-SUBMISSIVE MASOCHIST or KINKY SENSUALIST
Not into servitude, humiliation or giving up control; just pain and/or spiced-up sensuality, on the masochist's own terms and for the masochist's own direct pleasure (i.e. turned on solely/mainly by one's own bodily sensations rather than by being "used" to gratify one's partner's sadism).

2. PSEUDO-SUBMISSIVE NON-SLAVE
Not into even playing "slave," but into other "submissive" role-playing, e.g. schoolteacher scenes, infantilism, "forced" transvestism. Usually into humiliation, but NOT into servitude, even in play. Dictates the scene to a large degree.

3. PSEUDO-SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE
Likes to play at being a slave; likes to feel subservient; may in some cases like to feel one is being "used" to gratify partner's sadism; may even really serve the dominant in some ways, but only on the "slave's" own terms. Dictates the scene to a large degree; often fetishistic (e.g. foot worshippers).

4. TRUE SUBMISSIVE NON-SLAVE
Really gives up control (only temporarily and within agreed-upon limits), but gets her/his main satisfaction from aspects of submission other than serving or being used by the dominant. Usually turned on by suspense, vulnerability, and/or giving up responsibility. Doesn't dictate the scene except in very general terms, but still seek mainly her/his own direct/pleasure (rather than getting one's pleasure mainly from pleasing the dominant).

5. TRUE SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE
Really gives up control (though only temporarily; only during brief "scenes" and within limits) and gets main satisfaction from serving/being used by dominant-but only for FUN purposes, usually erotic. May/may not be into pain. If so, is turned on by pain indirectly, i.e. enjoys being the object of one's partner's sadism, on which the submissive places very few requirements or restrictions.

6. UNCOMMITTED SHORT-TERM BUT MORE THAN PLAY SEMI-SLAVE
Really gives up control (usually within limits); wants to serve and be used by the dominant; wants to provide practical/non erotic as well as fun/erotic services; but only when the "slave" is in the mood. May even act as a full-time slave for, say, several days at a time, but is free to quit at any time (or at the end of the agreed upon several days). May or may not have long-term relationship with one's Mistress, but, either way, the "slave" has the final say over when she will serve.

7. PART-TIME CONSENSUAL-BUT REAL SLAVE
Has an ongoing commitment to an owner/slave relationship and regards oneself as the dominant's property at all times. Wants to obey and please dom(me) in all aspects of life-practical/non erotic and fun/erotic. Devotes most of time to other commitments (e.g. job) but Dom(me) has first pick of the slave's free time.

8. FULL-TIME LIVE IN CONSENSUAL SLAVE
Within no more than a few broad limits/requirements, the slave regards herself/himself as existing solely for the Dom(me)'s pleasure/well being. Slave in turn expects to be regarded as a prized possession. Not much different from the situation of the traditional housewife, except that within the S/M world the slave's position is more likely to be fully consensual, especially of the slave is male. Within the S/M world, a full time "slave" arrangement is entered into with an explicit awareness of the magnitude carefully, with more awareness of the magnitude of power that is being given up, and hence is usually entered into much more carefully, with more awareness of the possible dangers, and with much clearer and more specific agreements than usually precede the traditional marriage.

9. CONSENSUAL TOTAL SLAVE WITH NO LIMITS
A common fantasy ideal which probably doesn't exist in real life (except in authoritarian religious cults and other situations where the "consent" is induced by brainwashing and/or social or economic pressures, and hence isn't fully consensual). A few S/M purists will insist that you aren't really a slave unless you're willing to do absolutely anything for your Dom(me), with no limits at all. I've met a few people who claimed to be no-limit slaves, but in all cases I have reason to doubt the claim.
Diane Vera

Note: The person who originally came up with this is Diane Vera. There are different variations floating around but you get the idea.

In my opinion, there will be considerable overlap in these categories. Most submissive women I have been involved with had attributes of at least two adjacent categories. And with a couple of exceptions all of my experiences have been with submissives who fell between the fourth and seventh levels. At this point I would be looking for a sixth or seventh level submissive.

Edit: Instead of talking to a dom/me, consider seeking advice from a fellow submissive. There are plenty of eighth or ninth level submissives in this forum who could help you sort out your issues.

Good luck!

 

[Netzach]

*tosses Vera for something more relevant to me*

1. Subhuman male pigs: basically unabashed wankers who have deep seated fantasies of female dominance and want their burger king their way. Usually, as in 99.99999 percent of the time the more degrading (within parameters) the more dirty the more humiliating, served up with a big side of last night's cum, the better.

They are as service oriented as cats.

But like cats they can make the most charming, complex and surprising pets.

2. Submissive gentlemen
They get it. It's not about them, it's about you. If you wanna tie their nuts to their toes or if you wanna go get groceries at Cub it's all the same to them. Gotta love 'em. Good for marriage, errands, LTRs and warming one's feet.

Submissive women: (oddly enough MTF AND FTM TG's and butch girls are in this category as well)

Your guess about these is as good as mine. Some mysteries are to be just that, I think.

 

[Limbhugger]

Given the way you presented it then I guess I can see two types or submission.

There are certainly varying degrees, intensities, limits, and expressions of submission. Submission is a very personal and intimate thing that you alone own. Meaning, that even you agree to become a full time diaper wearing slave, YOU have given that consent freely of yourself. Being forced into submission isn't really submission by definition.

Being forced to perform a specific act is something different. Such tasks are required after the sub and dom establish their relationship and their limits.

D/s is not a blanket that neatly covers each of us in the same exact way. It's more like a pair of great blue jeans. A little stiff when you first try them on and basically in a generalized shape. But the longer you wear them the more the better they fit. And soon they are shaped perfectly for your body and your body alone.

I definately rcommend the Library thread.