Did gay porn trick you?

[Harrowborg]

During those wonderful years of a persons life called puberty, well specifically mine, having watched a few bi and gay dvds, it left me with the impression that 'doggy style' was another name for anal sex. How wrong was I when my present gf asked me to have sex doggy style. There was my happily getting ready to do it that way and getting a squeel and a 'touch me and your dead look' for my effort! so, my question to you fellow litsters is, has porn ever tricked you?

 

[bisexplicit]

I thought all penises were ten inches and all women loved anal sex.

 

[oxford_flame_uk]

Porn never shows the practical side of having sex...... stopping to put on condoms, it falling off half-way through, getting cleaned up after - all the un-romantic bits

 

[bisexplicit]

all the un-romantic bits

Porn is all about the romance.

 

[Harrowborg]

Porn never shows the practical side of having sex...... stopping to put on condoms, it falling off half-way through, getting cleaned up after - all the un-romantic bits

I suppose you don't really pay for a dvd of porn to watch the fella stopping to catch his breath or the lady looking up at the cieling planning what to cook for tea. Its the illusion and that sells. But maybe a little bit more realism would be better.

 

[revolution724]

Porn never shows the practical side of having sex...... stopping to put on condoms, it falling off half-way through, getting cleaned up after - all the un-romantic bits

God. And here I sit thinking those are the most romantic parts.

 

[Samuelx]

Yeah, porn tricked me. Not about the women and anal sex thing but about something else. Not all masculine-looking men are "tops" and not all effeminate gay men are "bottoms".

 

[Sallad]

Porn never shows the practical side of having sex...... stopping to put on condoms, it falling off half-way through, getting cleaned up after - all the un-romantic bits

Dog watching them at the end of the bed. Condom falls off midway thru and you have to hunt for it. I've -never- seen that in porn.

 

[Elmer Keith]

During those wonderful years of a persons life called puberty, well specifically mine, having watched a few bi and gay dvds, it left me with the impression that 'doggy style' was another name for anal sex. How wrong was I when my present gf asked me to have sex doggy style. There was my happily getting ready to do it that way and getting a squeel and a 'touch me and your dead look' for my effort! so, my question to you fellow litsters is, has porn ever tricked you?

Not really

 

[John Doe]

Funny you should ask. Why, just the other day a homosexual pornographic film convinced me I was a purchasing a 1964 Ford Galaxee which in fact turned out to be a '67 Corvair. The fucker fell apart about half a mile down the road.

Of course I did report the film to the Better Business Bureau.

 

[John Doe]

Funny you should ask. Why, just the other day a homosexual pornographic film convinced me I was a purchasing a 1964 Ford Galaxee which in fact turned out to be a '67 Corvair. The fucker fell apart about half a mile down the road.

Of course I did report the film to the Better Business Bureau.

Well I thought it was funny...

Ingrates.

 

[Samuelx]

Porn tricked me into buying it.

 

[Harrowborg]

Well I thought it was funny...

Ingrates.

I guess it had its merits. You probably have to be a monty python fan to totally understand it though.

 

[John Doe]

I guess it had its merits. You probably have to be a monty python fan to totally understand it though.

I have to be familiar with Mr. Python's work to fully understand my own joke? *raises skeptical eyebrow*

I'll take your word for it...

 

[OlderBiMan]

During those wonderful years of a persons life called puberty, well specifically mine, having watched a few bi and gay dvds, it left me with the impression that 'doggy style' was another name for anal sex. How wrong was I when my present gf asked me to have sex doggy style. There was my happily getting ready to do it that way and getting a squeel and a 'touch me and your dead look' for my effort! so, my question to you fellow litsters is, has porn ever tricked you?

That's funny. A lot of straight men get that impression about women from watching porn. My wife was *very* open-minded. Back door. Front door. It didn't matter. We made love however we wanted. No inhibitions.
I guess I was lucky.

 

[MrHank2000]

Porn lied to me as well.
Did you know that not all pizza delivery persons want sex when they deliver a pizza? I know, I was shocked too.
Stupid porn.

 

[Sallad]

Funny you should ask. Why, just the other day a homosexual pornographic film convinced me I was a purchasing a 1964 Ford Galaxee which in fact turned out to be a '67 Corvair. The fucker fell apart about half a mile down the road.

Of course I did report the film to the Better Business Bureau.

LMAO!

(don't worry hun, I thought it was really funny)

 

[Harrowborg]

Porn lied to me as well.
Did you know that not all pizza delivery persons want sex when they deliver a pizza? I know, I was shocked too.
Stupid porn.

And if you ask a blonde girl sitting on a park bench, she DOESN'T want a threesome! whats that about

 

[Sallad]

And if you ask a blonde girl sitting on a park bench, she DOESN'T want a threesome! whats that about

I bet a redhead'll do it

 

[John Doe]

LMAO!

(don't worry hun, I thought it was really funny)

Thank you, although at this point I'm just glad I spelled "Bureau" correctly.

 

[Sallad]

Thank you, although at this point I'm just glad I spelled "Bureau" correctly.

hehe, spell check is my best friend. I'd hate to offend somebody on Lit with my awful spelling. My grammar is bad enough.

 

[RickyRooster]

Cramp and 'fanny' farts [American cousins read 'pussy' farts]. You never see/hear those in a porno nor the fits of giggles that usually follow both

P.S. I found it funny too Stuponfucious

 

[Sallad]

Cramp and 'fanny' farts [American cousins read 'pussy' farts]. You never see/hear those in a porno nor the fits of giggles that usually follow both

P.S. I found it funny too Stuponfucious

LMAO!
"Wait, ouch!"
"What's wrong?"
"Rub my calf. OH OW! Cramp, Cramp!"

 

[LoboBoy]

During those wonderful years of a persons life called puberty, well specifically mine, having watched a few bi and gay dvds, it left me with the impression that 'doggy style' was another name for anal sex. How wrong was I when my present gf asked me to have sex doggy style. There was my happily getting ready to do it that way and getting a squeel and a 'touch me and your dead look' for my effort! so, my question to you fellow litsters is, has porn ever tricked you?

Sure...the way sex at 5am after a night clubbing (or any other time where they just go for it) never is portrayed as potentially "messy" WITHOUT PREPPING ...ever!

 

[borderline]

has porn ever tricked you?

* Before peeing on your date, ask if they're into it first.

* Always keep a spare set of handcuff keys.

* No anal sex immediately after a spicy Mexican dinner.

* Unless she knows you're sleeping with your best male friend, don't ask her to automatically sleep with her best girlfriend.

* Whipping out a huge bag of toys from under the bed freaks people out on a first date.

* If she says she's going to slip into something more comfortable, wait until she gets back before getting naked.

* Wash before going anal to vaginal.

* Breaking up is NOT a license to post those special pics on the internet.

* "Girls night out" is usually a bitch session about what a loser you are, not a drunken lesbian lingerie orgy.

* Studly well-hung plumbers willing to fix your toilet in exchange for sex do NOT exist, though Bruno will give you a good assfucking on the invoice.

* Just because Max Hardcore does it, doesn't mean that you can.

* Lock the dog up in the basement when it's "magic time."

* If they start screaming in agony, Stop.

* Tell her about the video camera BEFORE sex.

* If you had a yacht and $500, you could probably buttfuck wannabe porn starlets too.

* Women never seem to understand our "special sock."