DIALOGUE in literotica.

[Genie_69]

has anyone ever noticed that horrible dialogue can make or break an otherwise really good story? grammer, punctuation, etc. is important, but ESPECIALLY in erotica, dialogue is a sucker...

"OH BABY, YEA YEA!!" actually makes me cringe and effectively breaks my mood. i enjoy writing stories, and i'm actually quite good at it, but i've avoided writing erotica simply because i'm not confident enough in my abilities in NOT making my readers cringe.

in short,
any tips? =]

 

[tolyk]

Don't avoid it.. write and get feedback, and learn from the experience.

Also, a good editor helps.

 

[only_more_so]

has anyone ever noticed that horrible dialogue can make or break an otherwise really good story? grammer, punctuation, etc. is important, but ESPECIALLY in erotica, dialogue is a sucker...

"OH BABY, YEA YEA!!" actually makes me cringe and effectively breaks my mood. i enjoy writing stories, and i'm actually quite good at it, but i've avoided writing erotica simply because i'm not confident enough in my abilities in NOT making my readers cringe.

in short,
any tips? =]

Well, first of all, I would suggest that you keep writing. It is something that you can do better the more you practice.

To avoid the cringe moments: edit. There are a couple of ways to go with editing. The easiest is to ask someone to edit the story for you. You might also try to find someone to read the story for feedback without a formal edit.

If you want to do it yourself, I would suggest setting the piece aside for a few days before you begin to edit. Just read through the story and you will find yourself hitting places that don't flow as well as you thought when you original wrote the story.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

I read for the porn. Unfortunately, I don't have a high standard for that to be met.

 

[Guest]

has anyone ever noticed that horrible dialogue can make or break an otherwise really good story? grammer, punctuation, etc. is important, but ESPECIALLY in erotica, dialogue is a sucker...

"OH BABY, YEA YEA!!" actually makes me cringe and effectively breaks my mood. i enjoy writing stories, and i'm actually quite good at it, but i've avoided writing erotica simply because i'm not confident enough in my abilities in NOT making my readers cringe.

in short,
any tips? =]

Don't use the "I'MMM CUMMMMMIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!" that so many insist on putting in their stories.

 

[only_more_so]

Don't use the "I'MMM CUMMMMMIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!" that so many insist on putting in their stories.

What? Girls don't say that? Because I'm positive that all guys say that when they are recieving oral sex

 

[Guest]

What? Girls don't say that? Because I'm positive that all guys say that when they are recieving oral sex

Really?

The best my man can manage is a few groans and a serious gripping of my hair.

Well, to each their own.

 

[drksideofthemoon]

has anyone ever noticed that horrible dialogue can make or break an otherwise really good story? grammer, punctuation, etc. is important, but ESPECIALLY in erotica, dialogue is a sucker...

"OH BABY, YEA YEA!!" actually makes me cringe and effectively breaks my mood. i enjoy writing stories, and i'm actually quite good at it, but i've avoided writing erotica simply because i'm not confident enough in my abilities in NOT making my readers cringe.

in short,
any tips? =]

My tip...Just write...

 

[The_Fool]

Really?

The best my man can manage is a few groans and a serious gripping of my hair.

Well, to each their own.

I get the periodic "Oh shit...." thrown in as well. Otherwise....ditto.

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Really?

The best my man can manage is a few groans and a serious gripping of my hair.

Well, to each their own.

No comment...snicker snicker snicker

 

[Weird Harold]

i enjoy writing stories, and i'm actually quite good at it, but i've avoided writing erotica simply because i'm not confident enough in my abilities in NOT making my readers cringe.

Dialogue can make or break any story; if you can write decent dialogue in your non-erotic writing, then you can write decent dialogue in erotica.

The simple fact that you recognise the potential problem dialogue presents means you're not likely to commit that particular error.

 

[elsol]

Tip #1 -- Read it out loud.

I don't suggest this because you need 'natural' conversation (true nature conversation is horribly bad!)... what you're looking for is very stilted conversation.

"David, what are you doing?"

"Mary, why are you asking me that question?"

"I walked into the room. I saw you on top of the table. It looked dangerous to me."

----

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Don't do that! You scared the crap out of me."

"Get off the table before you fall down."

---

Tip #2 -- He said, she saids.

Different readers will kick out of the story depending on your conversation markers... but they're absolutely critical because the reader cannot see who is talking, you MUST tell them.

I prefer a very simple method of he said, she saids... with a little 'action' in between

"What are you doing?" Susan asked.

"Jesus, woman!" I had to crouch down and grab the table for balance. "You scared the shit out of me."

"Get off the table!" she said angrily. "You're going to kill yourself."

----

Tip #3 -- The -lys.. excitedly, angrily... blahly.

Don't overuse them... action can do it, so can punctuation.

"What are you doing?" Susan asked loudly.

"Jesus, woman!" I replied excitedly.

"Get of the table!" she said angrily. "You're going to kill yourself!"

(as you can see... it gets annoying.)

---

Tip #4 -- If you have time.

1. Read a movie script.

2. Watch the movie

3. Listen to the movie with the picture blacked out.

Don't do a musical like "Moulin Rouge".

(Different people learn different things from exercises so there's no point in telling you why I think you should do it... but I learned a lot from it. Though I did do it with 'Moulin Rouge'.)

---

The rest is just getting comfortable with it.

As a writer, I never had to 'get' comfortable with dialogue. My characters talk through me, as in I will be talking as I'm writing and my voice changes as different characters are talking.

Anyway... hope it helps.

 

[damppanties]

Tip #1 -- Tip #2 -- Tip #3

That was good. Thank you.

Any conversation about dialogue always reminds me of a story by Quasi (quasimodem? or something... it's been too long.) It was called 'Aural Rape' and the whole thing was dialogue, without tags. It was fabulous and not confusing at all. Amazing. He took it off Lit and disappeared.

 

[damppanties]

Really?

The best my man can manage is a few groans and a serious gripping of my hair.

Well, to each their own.

Maybe if you teach him how to do I'MMMM CUMMMMMIIIINNNNGGGGGG he'll leave your hair alone?

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Maybe if you teach him how to do I'MMMM CUMMMMMIIIINNNNGGGGGG he'll leave your hair alone?

Maybe she likes the hair pulling? she is a sub afterall

 

[damppanties]

Maybe she likes the hair pulling? she is a sub afterall

Oh?

Oh.

I was thinking in terms of my hair. If anyone pulled it, it would probably come out in clumps. sigh.

And then the hair puller would need to be taken to the emergency room.

 

[Guest]

I get the periodic "Oh shit...." thrown in as well. Otherwise....ditto.

 

[Guest]

Tip #1 -- Read it out loud.

I don't suggest this because you need 'natural' conversation (true nature conversation is horribly bad!)... what you're looking for is very stilted conversation.

"David, what are you doing?"

"Mary, why are you asking me that question?"

"I walked into the room. I saw you on top of the table. It looked dangerous to me."

----

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Don't do that! You scared the crap out of me."

"Get off the table before you fall down."

---

Tip #2 -- He said, she saids.

Different readers will kick out of the story depending on your conversation markers... but they're absolutely critical because the reader cannot see who is talking, you MUST tell them.

I prefer a very simple method of he said, she saids... with a little 'action' in between

"What are you doing?" Susan asked.

"Jesus, woman!" I had to crouch down and grab the table for balance. "You scared the shit out of me."

"Get off the table!" she said angrily. "You're going to kill yourself."

----

Tip #3 -- The -lys.. excitedly, angrily... blahly.

Don't overuse them... action can do it, so can punctuation.

"What are you doing?" Susan asked loudly.

"Jesus, woman!" I replied excitedly.

"Get of the table!" she said angrily. "You're going to kill yourself!"

(as you can see... it gets annoying.)

---

Tip #4 -- If you have time.

1. Read a movie script.

2. Watch the movie

3. Listen to the movie with the picture blacked out.

Don't do a musical like "Moulin Rouge".

(Different people learn different things from exercises so there's no point in telling you why I think you should do it... but I learned a lot from it. Though I did do it with 'Moulin Rouge'.)

---

The rest is just getting comfortable with it.

As a writer, I never had to 'get' comfortable with dialogue. My characters talk through me, as in I will be talking as I'm writing and my voice changes as different characters are talking.

Anyway... hope it helps.

These are excellent - thank you for posting this.

 

[Guest]

Maybe if you teach him how to do I'MMMM CUMMMMMIIIINNNNGGGGGG he'll leave your hair alone?

Oh, I don't know.

It's kind of fun to make a strong man all weak in the knees and incapable of speech, isn't it?

 

[S-Des]

Oh, I don't know.

It's kind of fun to make a strong man all weak in the knees and incapable of speech, isn't it?

I used to roll my eyes at a number of the things I saw written in stories here, but have found out lately that many of them are very much a part of people's sex lives (especially the hair pulling and name calling ).

I'm going to remain mum on the dialogue issue. I have a low tolerance for crappy dialogue, but I've given up trying to talk to people about it. I've seen some stories with terrible dialogue score incredibly high (and get loads of flowery PCs from people that surprised and disheartened me). Unfortunately, singling anyone out would be mean, so I'll just say it does happen.

BTW Sarahh, I have no problem believing that you could make any man weak in the knees.

 

[Remec]

Minor threadjack

BTW Sarahh, I have no problem believing that you could make any man weak in the knees.

*nod*
It's the look in her eyes that does it...more than anything else.

 

[Guest]

BTW Sarahh, I have no problem believing that you could make any man weak in the knees.

*nod*
It's the look in her eyes that does it...more than anything else.

*blush*

 

[CharleyH]

has anyone ever noticed that horrible dialogue can make or break an otherwise really good story? grammer, punctuation, etc. is important, but ESPECIALLY in erotica, dialogue is a sucker...

"OH BABY, YEA YEA!!" actually makes me cringe and effectively breaks my mood. i enjoy writing stories, and i'm actually quite good at it, but i've avoided writing erotica simply because i'm not confident enough in my abilities in NOT making my readers cringe.

in short,
any tips? =]

Tips? There is a way to write and (as Sweet Sub points out) Noooooooot! (interpreted as Not) to write dialogue.

My tip is to listen to everything said around you in bars, on the subway, at work. Especially listen to those you know well and how their tone and also movements and demeanor (all hand in hand) change in different scenarios. People do not talk in full sentances most of the time because (as example) people who know others well interrupt, add and finish those sentance. As for sexual oo's and ahh's? What do YOU want to hear in bed? Add those to your story.

 

[CharleyH]

BTW, Merry Christmas Rem and Sweet Sarah you ( I seriously hope) fucking flirts!

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

El sol's is good. The most useful think I ever read on this was here: http://www.freegaysex.com/nifty/information/dialog-lesson

It's very funny, and answers many questions you never think of until you're actually writing something. It's in the form of a piece of dialog between two gay males.