DHS Chief "Kosplay Kristi Noehm" gets her purse stolen

[RobDownSouth]

This past Sunday DHS chief "Kosplay Kristi" Noehm invited her entire extended family to the White House, where she had VIP tickets to the first annual White House Egg Roll Presented By Amazon. They all went out to dinner afterwards, Noehm, her husband, kids and extended family, along with her Secret Service bodyguards at a table nearby. She had her bodyguards clear the ladies room so she could have a little privacy (Rumors about her periodic bouts of bulimia are unsubstantiated and "fake news" btw). She had her security entourage stand guard outside the ladies room.

She had gone inside the ladies room without her purse (Is this even remotely possible?) and when she came back to the table her purse was.....gone. Secret Service immediately went to look at restaurant video cam footage, a non-descript white male wearing a surgical mask swooped by her table and lifted her purse. Nobody noticed!

The purse contained her drivers license, her diplomatic passport, her credit cards, her checkbook (who carries a checkbook in 2025?), her high-end makeup bag, her DHS "all access" badge and approxmately $3000 in cash.

 

[DeluxAuto]

 

[MajorRewrite]

Carrying $3,000 in cash is weird.

Was she planning to buy drugs? Did she sell drugs?

And are we sure she went to dinner with her husband? Kristi has a history of fucking around.

 

[Fuzzy1975]

This past Sunday DHS chief "Kosplay Kristi" Noehm invited her entire extended family to the White House, where she had VIP tickets to the first annual White House Egg Roll Presented By Amazon. They all went out to dinner afterwards, Noehm, her husband, kids and extended family, along with her Secret Service bodyguards at a table nearby. She had her bodyguards clear the ladies room so she could have a little privacy (Rumors about her periodic bouts of bulimia are unsubstantiated and "fake news" btw). She had her security entourage stand guard outside the ladies room.

She had gone inside the ladies room without her purse (Is this even remotely possible?) and when she came back to the table her purse was.....gone. Secret Service immediately went to look at restaurant video cam footage, a non-descript white male wearing a surgical mask swooped by her table and lifted her purse. Nobody noticed!

The purse contained her drivers license, her diplomatic passport, her credit cards, her checkbook (who carries a checkbook in 2025?), her high-end makeup bag, her DHS "all access" badge and approxmately $3000 in cash.

lol, great security!!!

 

[YDB95]

Carrying $3,000 in cash is weird.

Was she planning to buy drugs? Did she sell drugs?

She said it was to pay for lunch and Easter candy for her family. (The restaurant she was at isn't that expensive, and exactly how much chocolate did she plan to buy?!)

 

[eric_erosfan]

This past Sunday DHS chief "Kosplay Kristi" Noehm invited her entire extended family to the White House, where she had VIP tickets to the first annual White House Egg Roll Presented By Amazon. They all went out to dinner afterwards, Noehm, her husband, kids and extended family, along with her Secret Service bodyguards at a table nearby. She had her bodyguards clear the ladies room so she could have a little privacy (Rumors about her periodic bouts of bulimia are unsubstantiated and "fake news" btw). She had her security entourage stand guard outside the ladies room.

She had gone inside the ladies room without her purse (Is this even remotely possible?) and when she came back to the table her purse was.....gone. Secret Service immediately went to look at restaurant video cam footage, a non-descript white male wearing a surgical mask swooped by her table and lifted her purse. Nobody noticed!

The purse contained her drivers license, her diplomatic passport, her credit cards, her checkbook (who carries a checkbook in 2025?), her high-end makeup bag, her DHS "all access" badge and approxmately $3000 in cash.

And a mini-vibrator shaped like a puppy?

 

[jomar]

That’s some crazy shit. White guys hard core rapping = eye roll

 

[DeluxAuto]

That’s some crazy shit. White guys hard core rapping = eye roll

Uh. No. El-P is one of the most respected dudes in hip-hop. His partner, Killer Mike, campaigns with Bernie.

 

[BabyBoomer50s]

Looks like it was a fun day for children and their families. Hopefully the Noehm family enjoyed what otherwise was a great time and that thief will be apprehended and the Secretary’s belongings will be recovered.

 

[DeluxAuto]

Looks like it was a fun day for children and their families. Hopefully the Noehm family enjoyed what otherwise was a great time and that thief will be apprehended and the Secretary’s belongings will be recovered.

Family? Where's their puppy?

 

[BabyBoomer50s]

Family? Where's their puppy?

The article said her extended family was there. No worries. We are well aware of your reading comprehension deficit.

 

[Chernosoth]

a non-descript white male wearing a surgical mask swooped by her table and lifted her purse. Nobody noticed!

That may draw a little more attention to masks.

 

[DeluxAuto]

The article said her extended family was there. No worries. We are well aware of your reading comprehension deficit.

"Reading comprehension"

You poor drunk thing.

 

[BabyBoomer50s]

"Reading comprehension"

Yes. Perhaps your parents or siblings can hire a tutor for you.

 

[DeluxAuto]

Yes. Perhaps your parents or siblings can hire a tutor for you.

You're an angry little drunk.

 

[BabyBoomer50s]

You're an angry little drunk.

No, just another board member hopeful you find help with your learning deficit and mental health issues.

 

[DeluxAuto]

No, just another board member hopeful you find help with your learning deficit and mental health issues.

Perhaps I'll make a thread about a child for the clicks but get the gender wrong. .
Or, maybe I'll talk shit about student loans but fuck up how they actually work

 

[BabyBoomer50s]

Perhaps I'll make a thread about a child for the clicks but get the gender wrong. .
Or, maybe I'll talk shit about student loans but fuck up how they actually work

If it will help you deal with your mental health issues, by all means give it a try. Blessings.

 

[DeluxAuto]

If it will help you deal with your mental health issues, by all means give it a try. Blessings.

Fortunately for me, I'm not that fucking stupid to fuck up like that once, let alone twice.

 

[RobDownSouth]

Carrying $3,000 in cash is weird.

Was she planning to buy drugs? Did she sell drugs?

And are we sure she went to dinner with her husband? Kristi has a history of fucking around.

That's her "take" from the daily ICE shakedowns of Hispanics.

Remember that "gang member" Garcia wouldn't give up his $1100 cash bankroll in his front pocket to "make this go away" when rousted by ICE so they deported him.

 

[BabyBoomer50s]

Fortunately for me, I'm not that fucking stupid to fuck up like that once, let alone twice.

Actually you are and you have many times. Thoughts & prayers.

 

[BabyBoomer50s]

 

[DeluxAuto]

Actually you are and you have many times. Thoughts & prayers.

Link?

 

[DeluxAuto]

View attachment 2530480

The only thing more fake than her nose there is the Easter Bunny.

 

[dmallord]

This past Sunday DHS chief "Kosplay Kristi" Noehm invited her entire extended family to the White House, where she had VIP tickets to the first annual White House Egg Roll Presented By Amazon. They all went out to dinner afterwards, Noehm, her husband, kids and extended family, along with her Secret Service bodyguards at a table nearby. She had her bodyguards clear the ladies room so she could have a little privacy (Rumors about her periodic bouts of bulimia are unsubstantiated and "fake news" btw). She had her security entourage stand guard outside the ladies room.

She had gone inside the ladies room without her purse (Is this even remotely possible?) and when she came back to the table her purse was.....gone. Secret Service immediately went to look at restaurant video cam footage, a non-descript white male wearing a surgical mask swooped by her table and lifted her purse. Nobody noticed!

The purse contained her drivers license, her diplomatic passport, her credit cards, her checkbook (who carries a checkbook in 2025?), her high-end makeup bag, her DHS "all access" badge and approxmately $3000 in cash.

With credit cards available why is she carrying $3k in cash? What's in that restroom that calls for that much money?

Secondly, she went to dinner with husband, kids, family and no one noticed a guy walking off with her purse? Preposterous.

Fake news. Just fishing for headlines like Pete and his signal-gate episodes.