desperate

[fionaDrexell]

I am in a

 

[CutieMouse]

Maybe he isn't interested in dominating (or topping). Maybe he is, but his philosophy of D/s isn't the same as yours. Third possibility, where are you getting your idea of "dominance" from? (In other words, is what you're seeking realistic?)

If the shoe were on the other foot, and your partner desperately NEEDED something you weren't, what would you do?

Affairs are rarely the answer in situations like this...

 

[Stella_Omega]

It has been known to happen that way, and yeah-- it's sad and all. But you have to do what you have to do. And never let anyone tell you that your sexual needs are less important than they are.

 

[fionaDrexell]

patient

After gentle prodding and lately, direct asking, I know what he is into and isn't. I cannot make someone what they cannot be. He is not willing to be the dominant I need. This is not what he wants sexually, and I cannot continue to be the dutiful missionary position partner . I love him and all other aspects of our relationship, however I cannot continue to pretend that I am satisfied either.

 

[KoPilot]

From your two posts you've implied that you see two roads here: 1. pretend you're being satisfied, or 2. get it somewhere else without telling him.

Have you told him how deeply unsatisfied you are? Have you talked about opening up the relationship and getting his blessing? There are a few s-types here who get their kink from a third party with complete transparency.

 

[midwestyankee]

If you truly believe that the only way for you to get the sexual experience you need within your marriage, I encourage you to ask him for permission to seek it from someone else with his blessing. Chances are, he'll resist the idea, possibly quite vigorously. But he'll no longer have any doubt about the importance of this to you. It may even spur him to consider trying to give you what you desire.

Honesty is probably the best route to success. And I say this as someone wbo took the other road.

 

[LallyH]

Chances are, he'll resist the idea, possibly quite vigorously. But he'll no longer have any doubt about the importance of this to you. It may even spur him to consider trying to give you what you desire.

This was my experience - after many years of marriage when the bottled up frustration finally came out and he realised how desperately unhappy I was, and that there was a very real possibility of me seeking out those avenues where I could find another who could give me what I need, he agreed to try in order to stop me looking. I hope this works out for you.