desire for sex gone

[Willing and Unsure]

I dont normally air my own personal things here, but this one is really starting to bug me. it's been since august 2002 now that I have had absolutely no desire for sex, masturbation, anything of the sort. nothing turns me on anymore. I've even lost all interest in seeing other people as being physically desirable. what in the world can I do about this? It's seriously starting to bug me to no end.

 

[lorddragonwolf]

did something happen to you in aug? a loss of someone close, tramatic experience? are you on any type of perscription medication?

 

[lovetoread]

Perhaps you have alot on your mind? Winter blues maybe?

I have found that stress is affecting my sex drive.

Not to mention being constantly sick.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

the only thing relatively traumatic was a nasty car accident. but I didnt really have any injuries from that except some bruises and some soreness (and that went away rather fast). and I had a desire for it just after that, for about 3 weeks after actually and then out of nowhere it just wasnt appealing to me anymore, like overnight almost.

only prescription meds I take have been the ones I've been taking for quite awhile now (bcp's and allergy meds). so it's nothing out of the ordinary there.

as for stress, I've got the same things stressing me now as I did 6 months ago as I did a year ago. my stress doesnt really change cuz it's all from school.

and I only wish it could be winter blues, but I love the winter... snow and ice and cold air and everything.

I've wracked my brain and asked a few that I'm close to what they think, but I cant figure it out for the life of me. I just know it isnt normal and it isnt right.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

the only thing relatively traumatic was a nasty car accident. but I didnt really have any injuries from that except some bruises and some soreness (and that went away rather fast). and I had a desire for it just after that, for about 3 weeks after actually and then out of nowhere it just wasnt appealing to me anymore, like overnight almost.

Car accident. I've been in 3 in the last three years, and each time, I've had to deal with the sex drive just quitting. It doesn't happen right away, either... My last car accident was in september, and around December, I just started losing interest... I still HAVE an interest, and I still make an effort to please my man, but sometimes I'm just not into it, and I understand your frustration. Car accidents, whether or not you're badly injured, do affect you a lot deeper than you think. Sometimes, they make you realize the triviality of some things you once thought were pleasurable, sometimes they make you reevaluate your friends, etc. They make you aware of mortality, they make you aware of the shortness of life. And sometimes, car accidents scare you. I am terrified to drive. I just don't want to. But honey's determined that I'll be driving by next september (I was a passenger in all 3 accidents, but I'm still terrified). Sometimes, the fear or the emotional trauma causes you to slow your physical routine, and maybe you've gained weight? (I don't know, I'm just shooting in the dark here). Maybe that's affected your libido. Also, emotional trauma, when mixed with long-term meds (no matter what kind) does affect the way you live your life. Why? Because there's been a chemical change in your brain.

I would recommend seeing a doctor, and telling him/her what you just told us. They are used to hearing about things like this, and they won't judge you. Just ask if there's anything they can think of that might have caused it, and anything they can think of that might help.

Best of luck to you.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

thank you vixenshe... any specific type of doctor to go see or just my regular doc?

 

[Ms_Lilith]

thank you vixenshe... any specific type of doctor to go see or just my regular doc?

You're going to have to begin with your regular doc... he/she will then refer you to any specialists (ie- obgyn, psychologist, dietician, etc).

Oh, and maybe cut back on red meat for a while... I've found that red meat kills my sex drive. But that's just me.

 

[Guest]

Depression can also cause lack of interest in sex, masturbation and seeing people as sexually desirable.

 

[Aston]

How are you feeling about yourself? I find that when my sex drive wains, I am usually not feeling good about myself. What always works for me is a good workout 3-4 times a week. 30-45 minutes on a spinning bike, step machine or treadmill and some light weights seems to always make things right. Also, how are you sleeping at night?

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

W & U,

IMHO, you and Vixenshe may be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I agree with her advice that you see a MD for a physical and get his advice about going to a specialist (counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist).

Aston's suggestion is a good one. The exercise won't hurt and it can help your body pump out more of the hormones needed to throw off the depression.

Good luck,

Rumple Foreskin

 

[sheath]

I agree...

I agree with Vixenshe. I was in a serious car accident...and although I wasn't hurt, within days my sex drive went downhill. I did feel like everything was rather trivial. I was really subdued for a long time. No matter how much he tried, sex was something that I could either take or leave. I began to get my sex drive back after about six months.

I didn't think about the relation between the two until I read her post. But now that I think about it, the feeling that I wasn't immortal had a lot to do with it. We all feel ten feet tall until something slaps us on our ass.

I agree, don't discount the accident as not being a cause. But certainly, get checked out by your doctor. Medications can suddenly change your body chemistry when they didn't before...and who knows? As you get a little older, your body changes. Maybe hormones are out of whack.

Good luck...and let us know how it goes?

S.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

W & U,

IMHO, you and Vixenshe may be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I agree with her advice that you see a MD for a physical and get his advice about going to a specialist (counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist).



Rumple Foreskin

2 things.

1) You have just a fantastic handle. *grin* Rumple Foreskin.. every time I see you post, I grin.

2) My PTSD is from a whole slough of things, not just car accidents, but I made my post based on my car accident experiences.


W&U, sometimes things pile up.. like my PTSD is based on many things, maybe a few things you hadn't yet given credit to (like a bf leaving, or being an ass, and the car accident, and anything else that just sucked) have all lumped themselves into a ball, and are now coming to haunt you. Talk to your doc about that, too, if it has any credence.

 

[Noor]

I find being on the pill over time kills my interest in sex, but I don't notice it as much as just forget about it. The last time I went off the pill my gyn asked me at the following visit how I was and I replied excitedly "I can smell men again and I am not even ovulating!", she looked at me with very worried eyes and handed me a bunch of polyurethane condoms , I was laughing and she was like "and carry them with you" It was very funny, at least to me, my dr looked terrified. Free spiffy condoms to boot.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

you guys are great. thank you all so much. lots of things have been happening in the last few months. about a month after the accident, me and my boyfriend had a huge fight and broke up. I took the time to listen to a "friend" about how I needed to change the way I dress, look, and act for some odd reason (this made me unhappy in the end and I realized it). and then there's the allergic reaction to some medicine that I had which put me in the hospital ER for a night cuz my throat tried to swell itself shut. I'm sure a trip to the doc about this would be good and I will be going. thank you all so much for the help and suggestions.


and Aston, I do work out. not 3-4 times a week, but a couple of times. I go running, about 4 miles every time I go. Classes and homework dictate when I get to so it's not a set amount every week. And beyond that, I walk everywhere, especially on campus. Most of my classes are over a mile walk each way so I take advantage of that.

 

[Horny Hippie Girl]

Perhaps you have a bit of a hormone imbalance. It is very common to have your hormones shift for no readily definable reason. Sometimes BCPs can cause your hormones to go out of whack. Too much estrogen will kill your drive faster than anything else, and that is what BCPs are...pure estrogen! While I do think that consulting a doctor is ultimately your best option, there are some things that you can try on your own as well. Siberian Ginseng has a certain amount of naturally occurring testosterone. It is perfectly safe for use by women, I can assure you. After using everyday for a week or so, you may find that not only has your drive been enhanced, you have more energy and generally feel better, over all.

 

[mlle_purr]

My 2 cents

I had a loss of sex drive once for a while and couldn't figure it out. I was at my highest weight ever, around 225 at 5'7. I have been really watching what I eat and getting lots of excersise and the pounds are sloooowly coming off.

My point here is that for me personally the closer I get to a healthy weight ( 165 now) the hornier I am getting.

Even at my high weight I had very little issue with self esteem, so I definately agree with Hippy Girl about the estrogen thing. Human fat produces estrogen according to my doctor, and that would explain my prior low sex drive.

So if you have put on weight suddenly and to the extent that your body is not used to that might be another cause. But there is definately something your body is trying to tell you, and I agree that you should see a doctor and a counselor about it.

Hope it helps. Keep us posted, and Blessed Be.
~Mlle.