Depression

[zach79]

...has invaded every fiber of my being


Hello again Litsters, I don't mean to come back with a negative thread, but tonight I realized how shitty my life really is.

I'm tired of not getting a second look from women, I'm tired os getting drunk, I'm tired of friends abandoning me for women, I'm tired of living in this shit hole town, I'm angry that I may have to die for my country soon, yet I haven't experienced sex or love, I'm tired of it all.


I was speeding on the highway that runs along the side of our town, going like 105 or so (in the rain), hoping I'd crash and kill myself, running red lights, etc... ( I guess I was too sober to even accomplish that) . I just truly don't fucking care anymore...this feeling will probably pass when I wake up tomorrow, but right now I am probably at the lowest of my lows.

I feel that I have nothing to live for.

(For all the spell checkers out there you can kiss my rosy red ass because I don't care about that either)

 

[Monazwx]

Keep this up and Shaq will add you to his Lit. suicide watch list.

With the thread of impending war, now is the time to enjoy every day to the fullest.

 

[A Desert Rose]

You are 23 years old and ready to die?

You need to be slapped silly. You have not even lived yet. You don't know true heartache until your 20 year old marriage falls apart or true love until the first moment you hold your new born in your arms.

Now, pull yourself together and set some goals and start living your life, instead of curling up into a fetal position. You have a lot of life to live, a lot of love to share and a lot of *real* heartbreak to experience.

 

[zach79]

I'm not going to get into too much detail about what went wrong tonight...but I will say I will be out later tonight, and if you live in East Central Indiana and see a 1990 Lumina bearing down on you get the fuck out of my way.

 

[Latinababe]

Be patient and you will have all that you want in life. I know it can be hard but there are alot to look for in life. Let you come first don't let things drag you down, espeically the little things in life. I don't know if I helped but hope all goes well for you.

 

[freakygirl]

Zach

You are in the military correct?

Get some help hon.. You can't get through this yourself.

Depression is not something you "just get over". It doesn't "go away".

Your reckless ways are going to kill an innocent person. How fair is that?

PM me if you need to.

 

[Monazwx]

Being that irresponsible, you could hurt someone. An innocent life. Someone who doesn't want to die.

Stop bitching about not having a girlfriend, 'cause that's most this is about anyway. If you wanna get laid, get laid and stop crying about how depressed you are.

 

[A Desert Rose]

I hope someone can help you. This is not the way to go and you know it. You have too much living to do.

 

[zach79]

I'm not looking for sympathy I'm here to warn you. Like I said things will most likely change in the morning but right now I want to go in a twisted wreck of steel and man made carnage (if that makes any sense).

 

[Monazwx]

No, you're not making any sense.
Go to bed.

 

[Latinababe]

Makes sense and I think we are just here to help and be friendly to u

 

[Frimost]

In some ways, numerous ways, we are in the same boat. So I would be a real hypocrite to try to cheer you up since I am often depressed to the point of contemplating suicide or just not caring about nearly anything anymore either. However, they say misery loves company so i that case at least know that you are not alone and not the only person stuck in a rut right now and not giving a damn about what tomarrow may bring.

 

[zach79]

Stop bitching about not having a girlfriend, 'cause that's most this is about anyway. If you wanna get laid, get laid and stop crying about how depressed you are.

I'm tired of being turned away at every opportunity...it's hard to break out of my shyness,and when I do I get burned.

I'm tired of watching all my "player" friends finding love while I the shy sensitive guy sits in the corner with my thumb up my ass.

 

[SpiceCake]

I'm not looking for sympathy I'm here to warn you. Like I said things will most likely change in the morning but right now I want to go in a twisted wreck of steel and man made carnage (if that makes any sense).

I would like to know why you are so low. I have felt as you feel. And not just once. Will you tell me - I really would like to listen.

 

[Frimost]

zack, a car crash is not the way to go. Even if you don't care about you're own life at least consider the wishes of your family. If you're gonna you should try to make it clean and not messy so they can at least have a open casket funeral to give them more closer.

 

[Monazwx]

I'm shy too, so I know what you're going through.
I've been the one holding up the wall tons of times.
But remember, if your friends are 'players' then they really aren't finding true love. And even if they are, who cares.

When you find that special someone, these feelings that you have now will seem like a bad memory. You have to hang in there or you'll never experience love at all. Love's coming your way. You just have to believe.

PM me, I'm still up. We'll talk.

 

[zach79]

Zach

You are in the military correct?

Get some help hon.. You can't get through this yourself.

Depression is not something you "just get over". It doesn't "go away".

Your reckless ways are going to kill an innocent person. How fair is that?

PM me if you need to.

Yes I'm in the military...and I have sought help before and all I have to show for it is unpaid bills.

I have problems...maybe not as severe as others but to me it is controlling my existence.

Thanks for offer, though I'll probably be fine in the morning.

 

[SpiceCake]

I'm tired of being turned away at every opportunity...it's hard to break out of my shyness,and when I do I get burned.

I'm tired of watching all my "player" friends finding love while I the shy sensitive guy sits in the corner with my thumb up my ass.

Shyness is an inhibiting thing. Please realize that your "player" friends are not experiencing love, they are experiencing sex. When it is important enough for you, you will find the courage to introduce yourself to that someone special. I am incredibly shy, Zach. You are sensitive and that is a very good thing. Sex will come when the time is right.

I'm so glad you are here posting this. It is a safe place to do that.

 

[SpiceCake]

Yes I'm in the military...and I have sought help before and all I have to show for it is unpaid bills.

I have problems...maybe not as severe as others but to me it is controlling my existence.

Thanks for offer, though I'll probably be fine in the morning.

Let's not worry about in the morning and let's not worry that your problems are less than anyone else's.

What you are experiencing is very real and we ALL have our own limits. You feel very low. You have sought help professionally and now you are seeking help here. There are those here who do care that you are low and want to help. I would be one of those.

 

[paganangel]

been there, done that, bought the t-shirt.

i don't know if i'm offering sympathy, because i don't feel that bad.
i don't think i'm giving advice, ' cause i'm the last person to.
if u r willing to look there's an online journal of mine around the archives of the gb somewhere. might help, i don't really know. if the choice is between dying and drinking yourself silly and going to bed...i pick drinking yourself silly. but u have to make it seriously silly. drink until dying and living are the same thing. then pass out.

 

[zach79]

Let's not worry about in the morning and let's not worry that your problems are less than anyone else's.

What you are experiencing is very real and we ALL have our own limits. You feel very low. You have sought help professionally and now you are seeking help here. There are those here who do care that you are low and want to help. I would be one of those.

Thanks for the kind words I do appreciate it, I'm just tired of being overlooked, mistreated and stepped on.

Like I said in the morning I'll be fine ( maybe a bit hungover ) but fine nonetheless.

 

[SpiceCake]

Thanks for the kind words I do appreciate it, I'm just tired of being overlooked, mistreated and stepped on.

Like I said in the morning I'll be fine ( maybe a bit hungover ) but fine nonetheless.

Sweetie, trust me - you are not overlooked. You are very handsome! The right person is just not there for you yet. Yes, you are shy, but you still have principles. When the right gal comes along, you will be able to put your shyness aside and get to know her with out compromising your values. She will be a lucky one, I'd say!

Again, I'm not concerned with how you will feel in the morning. I'm concerned with how you feel now. And please remember that alcohol is a "downer" and should be avoided when you are feeling low.

I'm so glad you are here! Thank you for your compliment! *kisses his cheek*

 

[paganangel]

Sweetie, trust me - you are not overlooked. You are very handsome! The right person is just not there for you yet. Yes, you are shy, but you still have principles. When the right gal comes along, you will be able to put your shyness aside and get to know her with out compromising your values. She will be a lucky one, I'd say!

Again, I'm not concerned with how you will feel in the morning. I'm concerned with how you feel now. And please remember that alcohol is a "downer" and should be avoided when you are feeling low.

I'm so glad you are here! Thank you for your compliment! *kisses his cheek*

hey bro, i'd love to believe her, but i have to say she is one of them and ther4 can't b trusted.
she is totally right about alcohol being a downer though. still, like i said, ifit's a choice between one and the othe...

 

[Shadowann2]

I've tried to kill myself 3 times now. It never worked but if it had I owuldn't have my 2 beautiful children now. Think of all the things you will miss out on in life if you die now. This slump in your life won't last. They never do. You will meet the right person some day. In the meantime you need to realize that being in a relationship and having sex aren't what makes life worth living. Friends, family, and your future is what makes life worth living.

I do understand how you feel. The other day I was so depressed and all I could think was, "What is the point of all this? I fight to make it through another day to pay another bill, just so I can wake up tomorrow and do it all over? Why?" But I talked with my family and my friends and they helped me see that there is woth to my life and there are things to look forward to. Talk about how you feel with the people who love you and that will be just as good as any doctor session.

As for feeling better in the morning...you may, but what about tomorrow night? For me it was always a cycle where the nights were the worst. You need to do something or it won't get better.

PM me if you want to talk. Don't give up on life and all the wonders it holds.

 

[Monazwx]

Don't mind paganangel, he's called paganangel for a reason.