Depression. It's a silent killer.

on my off time which I don’t have much, I am currently working on a mental health book that doubles as a cookbook to cope with depression and anxiety. That’s is the exact reason I put myself through culinary school to cope with my fucked up brain. If I can’t play music, I am in the kitchen creating just to get my mind off of everything.
 
There are many subtle steps one can take but depression IMHO is a direct result of one's thoughts. I helped turn my depression around when I made a personal commitment to view things more positively no matter how bad a situation was. I believe there is a silver lining in every rain cloud. For example, I really got sucked into quicksand and when I got out with help, the quicksand had sucked my boot off to its depths somewhere. Now I could have complained about losing one of my favorite boots, or how much money was lost, and so on but instead, I simply said, "Wow, that was a close one but at least I'm not dead" and let it go from there.

Of course, I think the Major contributor to depression is that voice in our head that belittles us, destroys our confidence, and blames us for everything. You know, the voice that says "that was stupid of you" and so on. Some people actually believe that voice is the devil actually talking to them and trying to ruin them. As for me, I know it's certainly there and has to be something, but what, I have no idea. When I conditioned myself to ignore that voice and shut it down immediately upon hearing it, my mental health improved and I feel my depression is gone. Haven't needed a shrink in well over a decade or medication and have lost allot of weight.

Now if somebody has some tips for PTSD, hit me up please.
 
I recently watched a NHK channel (DirecTV) 'Today's Close-Up' 30 min documentary about depression and solitary deaths in Japan.

It was eye opening how depression can lead to isolation, living in squalor, withered motivation and drive.

Highly recommend viewing if possible.
 
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I know I can tell I’m slipping when my space becomes cluttered slovenly. It’s a little bit of a wake up call to start using the tools I’ve learned to pull myself back. It works about 2/3 of the time but that’s better not at all.

Be safe out there.
Love you.
 
I myself have major depressive disorder as well as I am not adding menopause on top of it. What fun!

I also seem to get worse in the winter time...I live on the east coast of Canada and the winters are long, dark, and cold. So pretty much as soon as christmas and new years are over and all the sparkly decorations and cheer go away you get left with 3 to 4 months of cold dark and wet slush puddles. So it flares up much worse from about November to March. I have tried multiple different antidepressants and one of them pristique made my already fairly vivid dreams even more so and I would sometimes wake up in a panic because I could see ghost images of what I was dreaming about. Kind of a shock when you go from being outside in a feild in the middle of the day to a dark room in the middle of the night..the dreams felt scary real.

But that being said I am in support of meds. I finally found one that works for me called Trintellix (i know it sounds like the name of an alien race from star trek) But..yeah I start on them usually at the end of october beginning of november and then I wean myself off by the end of march into april. I know I could just keep taking them all year round but I don't want to build up a tolerance to them so..on and off cycle works for me. My doctor is ok with this and I have done this the past 3 years so...with that and a counseler I talk to if things get really bad I am doing better.

Also for anyone who has a loved one who tries to say"well just think happy thoughts or why are you sad things are great." I get it. I had to explain to my husband thats one of the worst parts is you feel sad sometimes for no reason..the thoughts in your head yell that you suck and nothing will ever feel better and even if you have your favorite thing in the world..it does not feel good.

So I have explained to my husband ok...take a hammer and break your hand...now..go around and have people say well..have you just tried to think non broken hand thoughts? Have you tried not having a broken hand...come on if you tried harder your hand would be fine.

No..it won't you need to heal..and you need medical attention for it. Its the same as mental illness. Bad mental health is not your fault but it is your responsibility, Also for all those who say "its all in your head!" Of course its all in my head Susan where else am I going to keep my mental illness? My left ass cheek? My spleen?

But yeah..for all you guys..you have an illness that's just as valid as cancer or the flu..and i know it sucks and its hard and you don't think it will help but you can seek help and I really hope you all will eventually get to a place where you can recognize that you are a meat covered skeleton being run by a 3 pound ball of salty jello with electricity running through it....so go easy on yourself ok?

Also apologies to anyone named Susan I am sure you are amazing..I had a teacher with that name try and say that to me in high school..fuck you to that particular Susan by the way.
 
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