Depersonalization in D/s

[MissTaken]

What does it do for you or the relationship when you refer to one another by title or in the third person?

I find that it can be an important tool for training a submissive and helps to keep those boundaries and the hierarchy clear. In a sense. it helps to purify the interaction .

Any thoughts?

Are there names or references you prefer or don't prefer?

And when you refer to your submissive or Dominant in the third person, do you find yourself thinking of them in the third person?

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I KNEW there was something I was forgetting!!!

My sub and I do this, to a certain extent, but we are also very often informal with each other as well. How do I maintain the proper hierarchy? Silly, it is the central theme of our relationship, how could either of us forget?!?

 

[zanna]

What does it do for you or the relationship when you refer to one another by title or in the third person?

I find that it can be an important tool for training a submissive and helps to keep those boundaries and the hierarchy clear. In a sense. it helps to purify the interaction .

Any thoughts?

Are there names or references you prefer or don't prefer?

And when you refer to your submissive or Dominant in the third person, do you find yourself thinking of them in the third person?

We are casual sometimes. i call Him Sir in public, Master whenever else it is appropriate. He does not demand i begin or end each sentence that way, but it is required, especially when asking Him something directly, or answering a question He has asked me. If we are sitting down discussing politics, it becomes a lot more casual. Hope that made sense...

The third person really does nothing for me. i am me. i am His. A referral to the third person interferes with my mental focus and makes me feel silly. If He required it, though, i suppose i would have to find a quick way to cope!

As for names and preferences, He calls me many things. i do not mind any of them. We just were talking about this yesterday though, and we both agreed we do not enjoy certain words like stupid, worthless, etc. i read that in print and it really turns me off. If it works for some people...more power to them...but it doesn't for me personally or for Him.

Somehow that seems a bit perverse...do not mind being called a dirty little whore, but please don't call me stupid. Just so long as i make sense...

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Re: Re: Depersonalization in D/s

Somehow that seems a bit perverse...do not mind being called a dirty little whore, but please don't call me stupid. Just so long as i make sense...

Sounds perfectly normal to ME! 'Dirty little whore' is a accurate description of my sub....in the best possible way, and she knows it, and enjoys being told.

 

[sub princess]

What does it do for you or the relationship when you refer to one another by title or in the third person?

I find that it can be an important tool for training a submissive and helps to keep those boundaries and the hierarchy clear. In a sense. it helps to purify the interaction .

Any thoughts?

Are there names or references you prefer or don't prefer?

And when you refer to your submissive or Dominant in the third person, do you find yourself thinking of them in the third person?

Very good question Miss T- and very timely for me as well.

Until recently (past three days) i was to always refer to myself in the third person when writing or speaking to Him. It was a little difficult at first, but once i got into that mode, it was actually harder to refer to myself in the first person. When speaking to Him, it actually flowed quite well, and i rarely had to think about altering my speech, i just got used to it when in His presence, but because i write alot, writing to Him, i sometimes hed to 'think' the words "she" and "her" instead of "me" and "i," or say the words out loud as if i was speaking to Him.

Now that i am again speaking in the first person when with Him, or writing to Him, the reverse is true... but now because it almost seems 'special' to be allowed to speak in first person, i am consciously aware of Him, and my role, even when saying "i," "me," "myself," etc..

i have never referred to Him in the third person though.

From the very start i knew and addressed Him with a title, first He was "Sir____," but then later as my training progressed, and O/our bond to O/one A/another grew, i started to call Him "Master____," or "Master." To me personally the title of Master is very important, and something i have never taken lightly, it is a title i will use only with Him, and only have ever used with Him.

i have never called Him by just His first name, nor a pet name, even in casual conversation about "The Simpsons" i still call Him Master-- it is a title He earned and deserves, and a title i use with much respect and love.

As to what He calls me, He has many names He calls me, some i like more than others, but my absolute favorite it one that is very personal, a pet name of sorts, that identifies me as His..... and i will just keep that one to myself for now.

 

[zanna]

What does it do for you or the relationship when you refer to one another by title or in the third person?

I find that it can be an important tool for training a submissive and helps to keep those boundaries and the hierarchy clear. In a sense. it helps to purify the interaction .

Any thoughts?

Are there names or references you prefer or don't prefer?

And when you refer to your submissive or Dominant in the third person, do you find yourself thinking of them in the third person?

One more thought along the titles line (i was thinking this this morning and forgot to add it in, sorry for posting again) We have 3 little ones (10, 5, and 3). They used to blink with my calling Him Sir, but we termed it respect and they took that for explanation. Master would be more difficult to explain to three bright, inquisitive little girls. Those are questions i am so not ready to answer. It used to frustrate me, constantly having to seperate the two -- the Sir/Master bit. Sometimes it would come out automatically. It is His preference, though so i had to learn. Now i switch back and forth between the two without much thought. In a way i like it more. It reserves the Master title for a deeper place/deeper level between us. So, perhaps what you were saying is true. The title can be a tool, although i had never thought of that before.

Thanks, MissTaken. i think i learned something today!

zanna

 

[FungiUg]

I don't use third person -- just find it irritating. I do use titles, but I'm not super-strict with them. Actually, the habit of most submissives calling me "Sir" annoys me also, since I don't have an OBE, I'm not walking into McDonalds, and they're not my submissive. I love being called Sir by a submissive who I have instructed to call me that. It's a really cool feeling. So just anyone assuming that they can call me Sir... annoys me.

I prefer Sir to Master. My lover likes being called Mistress. Sir and Mistress sounds kinda wierd... so in a threesome, I usually go for Master and Mistress instead.

 

[His Flower]

I don't have an OBE

What's OBE?

His Flower

 

[FungiUg]

What's OBE?

His Flower

Sorry. New Zealand is still (ostensibly) part of the British "Empire" (or Commonwealth).

An OBE is an award presented by the Queen, and entitles the bearer to be called "Sir". There are others such as knighthoods and so on.

 

[His Flower]

Sorry. New Zealand is still (ostensibly) part of the British "Empire" (or Commonwealth).

An OBE is an award presented by the Queen, and entitles the bearer to be called "Sir". There are others such as knighthoods and so on.

Ahh...should have known that if I actually paid interest in history class. But thank you very much FungiUg.

~His Flower~

 

[Pure]

Hi Miss T,

On the third person, esp. for oneself.

It's found in the Marine corps "This private has a question, Sir."

You might look up the term "illeism", which I just learned myself.

It refers to a practice of referring to oneself by "she" or "he" or by name. It's usually labeled as 'affected' or even 'pretentious', oddly enough.

J.

 

[FungiUg]

Ahh...should have known that if I actually paid interest in history class. But thank you very much FungiUg.

~His Flower~

That's okay. Thankfully it's only a spanking offence.

 

[Netzach]

Note:
remember, I'm one of those "labels suck" people.

If I get called Ma'am or Miss or Mistress or "The Masterette" by my own subs I hope to God there's some comedic cutesy winkie winkie verbal quote marks included.

I think it's stupid. At least for me, it feels and it sounds stupid from those with whom I'm intimate. It's like overstating the obvious, like I might forget I'm in charge if someone doesn't remind me. Or like my ego needs constant feed. I feel more kick ass as myself if I'm the Top, rather than being Mistress so and so. It's at least as awkward as when someone alluded to my being "the bride"

Yes, I should be getting hitched in a year, but am I really "the bride?" It makes me think of girls on cake tops or the Bride of Frankenstein, maybe. I digress.

Unless you count the rare occasions when it's not comedic nor stupid but purely sincere. And that's enough to make me melt. And that's a once in a blue moon, sweet, meaningful, lovely thing. It's gotta be well timed. It's gotta be the right person saying it.

I certainly can't get there from insisting someone call me Master. I can only get there if they decide to and want to, and ask me if they may.

As for speaking in the third person, limit it to phrases like "would the lady like me to fetch her copy of "where the wild things are" to read on the loo?"

 

[FungiUg]

Well, I agree that labels can suck. But they can be used for fun too.

And I shall be certain to call you "Ma'am" from now on!

 

[His Flower]

That's okay. Thankfully it's only a spanking offence.

That's it? awww...slightly disappointed.



~His Flower~

 

[catalina_francisco]

Interesting bump?

Catalina

 

[Kailey_86]

i don't call J Sir and i never have. It feels so strange for me to call him by his first name though. At first i just wouldn't call him anything at all. i would blurt out statements and questions without trying to get J's attention first. Now i have gotten used to his name. i do call him Sir when i am writing to him though. Strange.

i think that having a sub call her Dom "Sir" can be a powerful tool. i know it would help keep me in my place. It would be a reminder of the power J holds. i don't think that using it constantly is necessary though. Using it when answering questions or getting His attention would be enough.

As for J, he calls me by all sorts of names. He does have a special name for me though and that is ella.

 

[graceanne]

As for J, he calls me by all sorts of names. He does have a special name for me though and that is ella.

Ella means 'little fairy'.

 

[Kailey_86]

Ella means 'little fairy'.

*smiles* In what language? He told me that it is short for "Puella" which is girl/child in Latin. i like both meanings.

 

[graceanne]

*smiles* In what language? He told me that it is short for "Puella" which is girl in Latin. i like both meanings.

English, I think. I could be wrong, lol - I'm not so great at remembering where names come from. I had a friend named Ella, though, and felt that the name was so fitting. Although Ella's real name was Elinor, which means 'light'.