Deflowering for Dummies

Pure's right. Eschew your thesaurus. Save the fancy words for Scrabble. When people come over to your house for dinner, they don't want to admire the doilies and salad forks. They want the food.

Your mistake is that you're sacrificing the meaning of your original sentence in an attempt to render it into the kind of English they wanted us to write 50 years ago. No one calls anyone a "nemesis" anymore. It sounds downright foppish, like calling someone a "cad" or a "jackanapes".

There's nothing at all wrong with the original sentence. It doesn't need editing or revising. Leave it alone.

When you're editing your story, keep in mind that you're editing a story, not a piece of rhetoric. Pay attention to what the sentences mean first of all, and then how they convey that meaning second of all. Stick with that original meaning, otherwise the vocabulary and style will take over and you'll lose control of your material, and that's certain death.
 
minsue said:
Got it. Just seemed a bit redundant to me. ;)

Aren't we all?

PS. I like flowers ;)

and :D Mabs just explained laymen what we got. Sort of. :|
 
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I appreciate all the advice, though I'm not really sure the actual query is being understood by a couple of people who have posted responses.

You are very correct in your assessments regarding what the problem is, I'm just sort of hoping for a solution; perhaps a way to FORCE myself to figure out when enough is enough. When you are the average writer, it can be hard enough as it is to put the pen down... but when you are obsessive complusive newbie writer who doesn't have much confidence or an English education beyond grade 9, it is that times 100. You really feel the need to push yourself to greater heights you may not be prepared for.

As stated in the original post, I get that I overdo things and that the thesaurus isn't always my friend. I get that it can be pretenious tossing out too many big words and that the reader can go into yawn overload.

What I don't get is how to have the self control to prevent the occurance over-editing.

P.S. Thanks, Dr.
 
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If GI Joe was correct and knowing is half the battle, you're halfway there. :D (If I had any advice on the other half, I'd give it, but I've a horrifying love of words that gets me into trouble meself. That's why I leave prose to the rest of yous. ;))
 
sincerely_helene said:
What I don't get is how to have the self control to prevent the occurance over-editing.

I think that knowing what to leave out of a story, what to leave alone, and when to stop editing, are some of the hardest skills to learn in writing. I think most of us have a trendency to go back and add stuff and screw around with our prose, usually because we don't trust the reader to get it on his own. We feel like we have to sit down and spoonfeed the reader.

The best way I know to avoid this kind of thing is to concentrate on the story being told while you're editing. Screw the language and vocabulary, or making your sentences sound like they're from the Bulwer-Lytton contest. Whether the tears are streaming down her face or she's sobbing uncontrollably is a rather fine point you shouldn't have to bother yourself with. We get the picture.

Really, once through your story should be enough as far as editing goes.

It's like the grafitti over the men's urinal says: Shake it more than once and you're playing with it.
 
dr_mabeuse said:
I think that knowing what to leave out of a story, what to leave alone, and when to stop editing, are some of the hardest skills to learn in writing. I think most of us have a trendency to go back and add stuff and screw around with our prose, usually because we don't trust the reader to get it on his own. We feel like we have to sit down and spoonfeed the reader.

The best way I know to avoid this kind of thing is to concentrate on the story being told while you're editing. Screw the language and vocabulary, or making your sentences sound like they're from the Bulwer-Lytton contest. Whether the tears are streaming down her face or she's sobbing uncontrollably is a rather fine point you shouldn't have to bother yourself with. We get the picture.

Really, once through your story should be enough as far as editing goes.

It's like the grafitti over the men's urinal says: Shake it more than once and you're playing with it.

I wish there was a profession where I could just tell someone what was going on inside my head and they would do all the writing crap for me. Or better yet, some kind of adapter that connects from my brain to the tv. Yeaaaahhh, baby! :nana:
 
Flowery is my problem too! With that, if I can say it out loud with cracking up, then it stays :D Unfortunatey, I don't put it to the test enough. :eek:

Editing - yeah, write it, and use any dirty ol word which will do until you finish it, then come back a couple of days later to read through and edit. I don't do it as I go, because I would never finish! And it will kill the creativity bug if I sit there and puzzle over a word rather than getting it all down.

Keep going! :rose:

Others [me] have different probs - like under editing!
 
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