Deflowering for Dummies

[sincerely_helene]

I have this little problem when I write, and I think it's really starting to annoy me to the point where I no longer feel the complusion to put pen to paper. I suppose the best way to explain would be via example, so I will start out with a simple sentence and demonstrate how it evolves in my head:

1st draft
She wept uncontrollably, the words shaking as she pleaded with the man.

Edit #1
She sobbed frantically, stuttering her sentences as she pleaded with her nemisis.

Edit #2
Tears streamed down her cheek as she tried to reason with her nemisis.

A Few More Edits Later,
Tears streamed down the bend of her crimson jaw line as she tried to reason with her adversary.

Ok, it's bad enough to spend that much time re-editing one sentence, but imagine doing it 10-15 more times to a whole story, and still not being satisfied.

I'm absolutely obsessed with my Thesaurus and can't seem to leave well enough alone. When I return to the story a few months later it all sounds so flowery and cheesey, but still I can't seem to break the pattern. I get frusterated and want to scrap the whole thing on realising it sounded better before I started messing with it.

Any fixes aside from getting someone else to handle the editing portain? I need to figure out how to know when I've gone too far before it's too late. Flowery sentences really have no place when you are trying to appeal to both a male and female audience, and OCD doesn't help any .

 

[impressive]

Simple is best. Save the flowery sh... stuff... for romance.

 

[sincerely_helene]

Simple is best. Save the flowery sh... stuff... for romance.

If only it were that easy.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Personally I take the "Let someone else edit for you" approach. Completly asside from my grammar and spelling, it just works better for me if someone else reviews it. If not I have a tendancy to do the same as you, Nitpick it into fru-fru oblivion.

The trick is to find someone that your trust and respect enough that you will be willing to accept their opinion that some things in your story need changing and take their advice even if it's not quite the way you had it written originally. Not to say that your editor is always right, but that you may not be right all the time either.

 

[Liar]

Any fixes aside from getting someone else to handle the editing portain? I need to figure out how to know when I've gone too far before it's too late.

Methinks your main problem is not that you can't stop editing. It's that you start editing too soon. When you're done with a sentence/paragraph/story, dot edit it immediately. Start another story, and devote your heart to that one. That way, editing story #1 will become a tiresome chore where you start thinking in terms of "What is the net result of the effort I put in to rewriting this particular sentence? Who but myself will care? And how much?" This way, I feel that I can't afford more than one rewrite, and I push to get it out of the way.

But then on the other hand, I can't really connect to your problems. I write by oomph. If I write something, and I feel the oomph, it stays. If I don't feel the oomph, I try again. And the first impression, gut level oomph never changes.

 

[rgraham666]

It's like drinking, learn how to say 'enough'. To yourself.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

It's like drinking, learn how to say 'enough'. To yourself.

Or you don't and you end up a homeless bum, living in a cardboard box, drinking cooking sherry and having argumnets with your imaginary companion, Morty the Talking Kangaroo about which Tellatubby is the smartest.

 

[rgraham666]

And that was very close to being my fate.

Wasn't it, Morty?

 

[cheerful_deviant]

And that was very close to being my fate.

Wasn't it, Morty?

. .

 

[Liar]

Or you don't and you end up a homeless bum, living in a cardboard box, drinking cooking sherry and having argumnets with your imaginary companion, Morty the Talking Kangaroo about which Tellatubby is the smartest.

It's Laa-Laa, and the name's Marty. Dontcha forget it.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

It's Laa-Laa, and the name's Marty. Dontcha forget it.

Sorry, my mistake.

 

[rgraham666]

Sorry helene. You can have your thread back now.

 

[bush59]

Just wondering how long that post took to edit..........................

Just use that same technique....it works well enough?

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

it's that

thesaurus

flowery words orginate from there.

it's a bad habit because it's so handy when you're stuck on a word. i think the alternative would be expanding your vocabulary. i like that reader's digest, it has a nice little quiz in there and there are quite a few books on how to do that.

just a suggestion because it helped me break my thesaurus habit.

 

[Brinnie]

c u in hell

 

[nushu2]

IMHO, none of those edits is appropriate for a tense and emotional moment. I think a quote would work better with a teary tag. Good luck.

 

[Pure]

a thesaurus is a grave danger to most people's writing, esp the naive souls who think it's giving synonyms.

it's arguable that are no synonyms.

in your examples, each edit has made things worse, imho.

you can tell when an amateur writer has dipped into her thesaurus:

As the old joke goes,

The little boy said to his mother, "Mommy, I've learned a new word, can you surmise what it is?"

 

[CharleyH]

a thesaurus is a grave danger to most people's writing, esp the naive souls who think it's giving synonyms.

it's arguable that are no synonyms.

in your examples, each edit has made things worse, imho.

you can tell when an amateur writer has dipped into her thesaurus:

As the old joke goes,

The little boy said to his mother, "Mommy, I've learned a new word, can you surmise what it is?"

Ouch. Sizzle - lick finger up.

 

[rgraham666]

a thesaurus is a grave danger to most people's writing, esp the naive souls who think it's giving synonyms.

Well, damn. Looks like I'm fucked as a writer then.

 

[minsue]

in your examples, each edit has made things worse, imho.

I thought that was her point....

 

[CharleyH]

I thought that was her point....

That is the problem. He is saying.

 

[minsue]

That is the problem. He is saying.

Got it. Just seemed a bit redundant to me.

 

[sincerely_helene]

I thought that was her point....

Yup. He just edited it for me 'cause it was too flowery.

 

[minsue]

Yup. He just edited it for me 'cause it was too flowery.

. .