Defining Love

[midwestyankee]

Yank, somehow I suspect you had me in mind when you typed this

I don't have any answers for you but I do have a question in response to yours.

Why do you need to know? What if that very rare combination of things between you and your beloved hold their magic by not knowing. Perhaps if broken down, they become less magical.

Some things in life have to be accepted on simple faith. Why is just knowing you love her not enough without the explanation of why?

Love is an irrational thing. You may just have to accept the idea that it exists for you simply because it does. Because all the forces of nature aligned and put you in a place where it was right.

Maybe you love her simply because you do.

You see, GG, this was exactly the kind of answer I want to avoid. I accept the magic of it, I revel in its mystery.

At the same time, my inner analyst is busily asking questions and I feel compelled to let him do his thing.

 

[DLL]

Originally posted by midwestyankee
You see, GG, this was exactly the kind of answer I want to avoid. I accept the magic of it, I revel in its mystery.

At the same time, my inner analyst is busily asking questions and I feel compelled to let him do his thing.

Yank, Will you ever be content in LOVE if you are always questioning why???

 

[midwestyankee]

Now I know how Yank must feel when we gang up on him!

A thousand apologies Yank, I'll never do it again

(at least from now until the next time I see you)

To be fair about it, GG, you've rarely instigated a gang-up. That honor tends to reside in someone else who enjoys such horseplay.

 

[midwestyankee]

Yank, Will you ever be content in LOVE if you are always questioning why???

Is this the same person who not very long ago shunned the idea of being contented?

 

[DLL]

Originally posted by midwestyankee
Is this the same person who not very long ago shunned the idea of being contented?

i never shunned the idea of contentment Yank but i always view it as I want more....so I push for more....but i never question why I love I just do it...

 

[DLL]

Originally posted by midwestyankee
Is this the same person who not very long ago shunned the idea of being contented?

 

[midwestyankee]

i never shunned the idea of contentment Yank but i always view it as I want more....so I push for more....but i never question why I love I just do it...

Perhaps you should consider the possibility that by inquiring and doing self-discovery I am on the journey to more as well.

 

[GiveawayGirl]

You see, GG, this was exactly the kind of answer I want to avoid. I accept the magic of it, I revel in its mystery.

At the same time, my inner analyst is busily asking questions and I feel compelled to let him do his thing.

Perhaps you should send a memo to your inner analyst warning him that there may not be an answer.

Also consider that if there is in answer, in all likelihood it will be different for you vs. someone else, and it my be different every day.

My point was simply that by analyzing it and picking it apart, you may well lose the magic and mystery of it. Is it worth the risk?

I guess what I am saying is why question a good thing. Sometimes you need to stop and smell the roses but not poke their roots and investigate what type of soil they are in.

 

[midwestyankee]

Perhaps you should send a memo to your inner analyst warning him that there may not be an answer.

Also consider that if there is in answer, in all likelihood it will be different for you vs. someone else, and it my be different every day.

My point was simply that by analyzing it and picking it apart, you may well lose the magic and mystery of it. Is it worth the risk?

I guess what I am saying is why question a good thing. Sometimes you need to stop and smell the roses but not poke their roots and investigate what type of soil they are in.

I like the gardening analogy, GG. It brings up sound aromatic memories.

Anyway, this little quest of mine is unlikely to disturb the roots of my love. More likely, it will help me see the beauty of it even more clearly. I guess I'm just a nerdy type who likes to see how things work in order to best appreciate the elegance of their design.

 

[Cathleen]

Good morning, Miss I, and everyone else who likes to frequent this thread.

And, since it's Friday and for unknown reasons my mind tends to drift into a questioning mode on Fridays, I have a thought and question for you.

If you've paid any attention to this thread at all recently, you know that I have been hit by the lightning storm of love. And I am aglow with the results. It's a truly extraordinary experience and I'm not at all ashamed to say that my day begins and ends with thoughts of my beloved. Still, there is this question that formed recently and I am interested in your thoughts on how you would approach answering it for yourselves.

Why do you love your beloved? It's easy (more or less, I guess) to tell how you love your beloved. After all, if you allow her to take hold of your consciousness from morning to night and you try every day to make her life brighter, then you can see how you're going about loving her. But the analyst in me always wants to know why.

How does one answer that question? I said yesterday that I don't know the answer and yet I find myself trying nonetheless to come up with one (or many, as needed). I will not be satisfied by concluding that the answer is unknowable, for that just can't be. Surely something or many things about your beloved are obvious sources of attraction and reasons for admiring her, for liking her, for desiring her. It may be relatively simple to determine the features and personality characteristics that are appealing. But how does one dig into the soul and find the source of that attraction that pulls your soul to hers? That, I think, is where I want to go on this journey of discovery.

Anyone care to come along, perhaps by making your own search at the same time? Or would anyone like to suggest ways to succeed in this? As always, I am open to ideas, suggestions, even a few catcalls if that's what's needed.

But how does one dig into the soul and find the source of that attraction that pulls your soul to hers? That, I think, is where I want to go on this journey of discovery.

I pulled this from your post only because it hit me deeply. I will preface this by saying I believe in God. I truly believe we are here to love one another. I believe love is the primary purpose for life. Perhaps everything else stems from love.

In the last few days the word "need" came into the discussion. I didn't post, not because I had nothing to say, but because it is a core issue for me. Just the thought of needing someone is quite humbling to me.

I was raised to be independent - by a very strong woman. I've relied on myself for years, for everything. I have gone to great lengths to make sure I can do whatever it is that I need to do. However I do not take into account the part of life that is "what I want in life.

I've denied and diminished, to an extreme, in order to NOT need someone. I've hidden behind my mantra of "I don't want to NEED someone, I want to WANT someone". I am beginning to see this as another self deception of mine. I conned myself for years and now the jig is up.

I do not know what love is truly. I've also said I've never been in love. But I realize we all have different thoughts, feelings and levels of love - our capabilities are unique to each one of us. So perhaps I have been in love, at the moment it does not matter. The issue of the moment is awareness - or more correctly it is ALWAYS the issue for me.

Yank you and I are "questioners", we do want to look and discover. I never want to give that up. I learn and that makes my life far more rich. My "more" as we've talked about with regard to contentment is learning and discovering ~ that is more to me.

Learning why I love will be a life long search. It is connected to my soul and the universe I live in. I think love is the connection between all of us. Our souls live because of these connections and I don't believe they ever die.

I may live in my own mind but I am connected to the entire world through love.

 

[GiveawayGirl]

I like the gardening analogy, GG. It brings up sound aromatic memories.

Anyway, this little quest of mine is unlikely to disturb the roots of my love. More likely, it will help me see the beauty of it even more clearly. I guess I'm just a nerdy type who likes to see how things work in order to best appreciate the elegance of their design.

In that case, nerd away my friend.

Just be careful that you don't engineer yourself into trouble.

 

[midwestyankee]

But how does one dig into the soul and find the source of that attraction that pulls your soul to hers? That, I think, is where I want to go on this journey of discovery.

I pulled this from your post only because it hit me deeply. I will preface this by saying I believe in God. I truly believe we are here to love one another. I believe love is the primary purpose for life. Perhaps everything else stems from love.

In the last few days the word "need" came into the discussion. I didn't post, not because I had nothing to say, but because it is a core issue for me. Just the thought of needing someone is quite humbling to me.

I was raised to be independent - by a very strong woman. I've relied on myself for years, for everything. I have gone to great lengths to make sure I can do whatever it is that I need to do. However I do not take into account the part of life that is "what I want in life.

I've denied and diminished, to an extreme, in order to NOT need someone. I've hidden behind my mantra of "I don't want to NEED someone, I want to WANT someone". I am beginning to see this as another self deception of mine. I conned myself for years and now the jig is up.

I do not know what love is truly. I've also said I've never been in love. But I realize we all have different thoughts, feelings and levels of love - our capabilities are unique to each one of us. So perhaps I have been in love, at the moment it does not matter. The issue of the moment is awareness - or more correctly it is ALWAYS the issue for me.

Yank you and I are "questioners", we do want to look and discover. I never want to give that up. I learn and that makes my life far more rich. My "more" as we've talked about with regard to contentment is learning and discovering ~ that is more to me.

Learning why I love will be a life long search. It is connected to my soul and the universe I live in. I think love is the connection between all of us. Our souls live because of these connections and I don't believe they ever die.

I may live in my own mind but I am connected to the entire world through love.

Cate, you've once again touched a deep chord. I agree with so much of what you say here. I can only hope that you find a way to connect with one special person so you will know these things in your heart as much as in your fine mind.

 

[GiveawayGirl]

Beautifully said Cathleen

 

[midwestyankee]

In that case, nerd away my friend.

Just be careful that you don't engineer yourself into trouble.

I'll do my best. And I am content in knowing that if I dig myself into too deep a hole, my beloved will either reach down and pull me out into her arms or climb into the hole, smack me upside the head for my stupidity, and then help me out of the hole. As you said the other day, she may well be a saint (at least in regards to putting up with my peccadilloes).

 

[GiveawayGirl]

I'll do my best. And I am content in knowing that if I dig myself into too deep a hole, my beloved will either reach down and pull me out into her arms or climb into the hole, smack me upside the head for my stupidity, and then help me out of the hole. As you said the other day, she may well be a saint (at least in regards to putting up with my peccadilloes).

She must love you Yank....it's the only reasonable explanation for a woman putting up with you

 

[midwestyankee]

She must love you Yank....it's the only reasonable explanation for a woman putting up with you

I'm quite sure you're right.

 

[GoddessOfSouls]

You see, GG, this was exactly the kind of answer I want to avoid. I accept the magic of it, I revel in its mystery.

At the same time, my inner analyst is busily asking questions and I feel compelled to let him do his thing.

Is it possible that for the first time in your life your actually wondering how something this magical could possibly happen to you!
Keeping in mind we generally dissect things which we don't understand, Love really isnt something you can dissect. While you can listen to what it means to many diffrent people. and relate in some ways to that which you Idealize it to be.
when it really truely hits home with you, there is no way to really understand it. for its essence is just Love, and Love being an emotion a feeling, a state of mind. the best you can hope to understand is how and why you do feel the way you do.

while its confusing at times to sort out these feelings, if you just do as you have been doing and Talk about what it is you know to be the truth between the two of you.. in that dear friend is your answer, a simple truth! we love Because!

and because means something diffrent with each and everyone since were individuals with common bonds ...

~giggles~ well Iam sure thats just as confusing to read as it was to write

 

[midwestyankee]

Is it possible that for the first time in your life your actually wondering how something this magical could possibly happen to you!
Keeping in mind we generally dissect things which we don't understand, Love really isnt something you can dissect. While you can listen to what it means to many diffrent people. and relate in some ways to that which you Idealize it to be.
when it really truely hits home with you, there is no way to really understand it. for its essence is just Love, and Love being an emotion a feeling, a state of mind. the best you can hope to understand is how and why you do feel the way you do.

while its confusing at times to sort out these feelings, if you just do as you have been doing and Talk about what it is you know to be the truth between the two of you.. in that dear friend is your answer, a simple truth! we love Because!

and because means something diffrent with each and everyone since were individuals with common bonds ...

~giggles~ well Iam sure thats just as confusing to read as it was to write

GOS, I wish it were as easy as this. Even my heart wants a few answers this time. It is simply that powerful.

 

[DLL]

Originally posted by midwestyankee
GOS, I wish it were as easy as this. Even my heart wants a few answers this time. It is simply that powerful.

Yankee i understand that you found that right one but i don't understand why you feel the need to want to know why you feel this way...can't you just be happy knowing you found your true love..and maybe its time you realize that perhaps your wife isnt the one you are going to finish your journey of discovery with....maybe this is what is going on...
Maybe you want MORE

 

[DLL]

Originally posted by midwestyankee
GOS, I wish it were as easy as this. Even my heart wants a few answers this time. It is simply that powerful.

Yankee i understand that you found that right one but i don't understand why you feel the need to want to know why you feel this way...can't you just be happy knowing you found your true love..and maybe its time you realize that perhaps your wife isnt the one you are going to finish your journey of discovery with....maybe this is what is going on...
Maybe you want MORE

 

[GiveawayGirl]

Is it possible that for the first time in your life your actually wondering how something this magical could possibly happen to you!
Keeping in mind we generally dissect things which we don't understand, Love really isnt something you can dissect. While you can listen to what it means to many diffrent people. and relate in some ways to that which you Idealize it to be.
when it really truely hits home with you, there is no way to really understand it. for its essence is just Love, and Love being an emotion a feeling, a state of mind. the best you can hope to understand is how and why you do feel the way you do.

while its confusing at times to sort out these feelings, if you just do as you have been doing and Talk about what it is you know to be the truth between the two of you.. in that dear friend is your answer, a simple truth! we love Because!

and because means something diffrent with each and everyone since were individuals with common bonds ...

~giggles~ well Iam sure thats just as confusing to read as it was to write

I couldn't agree more, friend



Hi DLL, I hope your trip was good

 

[midwestyankee]

Yankee i understand that you found that right one but i don't understand why you feel the need to want to know why you feel this way...can't you just be happy knowing you found your true love..and maybe its time you realize that perhaps your wife isnt the one you are going to finish your journey of discovery with....maybe this is what is going on...
Maybe you want MORE

I'm not sure I could have caused more trouble than by suggesting I wanted to do a little analysis. My, what a fuss over such a simple idea.

I already have one part of the answer: to a large degree it's because she understands me better than anyone ever has. That she tolerates my sense of humor is also an important factor, GG.

 

[GoddessOfSouls]

GOS, I wish it were as easy as this. Even my heart wants a few answers this time. It is simply that powerful.

LMAO! gathers myself together, Iam sorry Dear friend for laughing at such a serious moment..
~soft smile~ clears thoat *sigh*
YOU of all people Know this one! Its Only going to be as difficult as you make it!

Now as for the answers your seeking, let me try this perhaps with someone like yourself its easier to find what you seek by talking to yourself .. so how about some simple questions
Your seeking answers from others when the answers are within you!

Lets make Today Question Yank DAY! Ohhh and I get Ta start Cuz it was *My Idea* hehe and sometimes it just fun to be at the beginning lol that and I have to get to work soon.

(1) Ok Yank, Tell me What exactly is it that has you so worried? I mean this thing you need to understand and dissect this love, why is it so imperative to you that you understand each and every nuaunce of it?

 

[GiveawayGirl]

I'm not sure I could have caused more trouble than by suggesting I wanted to do a little analysis. My, what a fuss over such a simple idea.

I already have one part of the answer: to a large degree it's because she understands me better than anyone ever has. That she tolerates my sense of humor is also an important factor, GG.

That's why she loves you and I just lust after your body, Yank

Seriously, I don't think you should think of it as causing trouble. After all, wasn't your intended purpose of this thread to open up discussion and allow people to voice their opinions and experiences? I think you are just not used to having so many people disagree with you is all

 

[midwestyankee]

That's why she loves you and I just lust after your body, Yank

Seriously, I don't think you should think of it as causing trouble. After all, wasn't your intended purpose of this thread to open up discussion and allow people to voice their opinions and experiences? I think you are just not used to having so many people disagree with you is all

You've cut me to the quick.