Defining Love

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by DLL
Yankee what amazes me here is that you talk about being noble when it comes to love yet you yourself hide behind a wall of armour when it comes to love....just a innocent observation from a friend.....

Originally posted by Ammo44
Some people are a deep as puddles........shallow if you will. You gotta walk the walk when you talk the talk. Enough defining....act on it!!

Why do these posts not surprise me...considering the number of hijacks of this thread? Personally I, and I would guess a number of others, enjoy the intended subject of this thread. It serves a purpose that is clearly reflected in the posts here. If you don't enjoy it and don't want to contribute to the subject matter, I suggest that you start your own thread or find another one more appropriate to your liking. Personally I've had more than enough of baseball...

Nothing like making yourself comfortable in someone else's home, drinking all the beer, eating the food, and then insulting the host.

 

[Cathleen]

Why do these posts not surprise me...considering the number of hijacks of this thread? Personally I, and I would guess a number of others, enjoy the intended subject of this thread. It serves a purpose that is clearly reflected in the posts here. If you don't enjoy it and don't want to contribute to the subject matter, I suggest that you start your own thread or find another one more appropriate to your liking. Personally I've had more than enough of baseball...

Nothing like making yourself comfortable in someone else's home, drinking all the beer, eating the food, and then insulting the host.

WW you said that well. I think the intended matter is worthy of respect and for Yankee too.

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by Cathleen
I haven't posted here in a long while, for a few reasons but one is that I have been struggling with love. Specifically love and addiction. I know that I have spent many years running from love - romantic love - because of past issues. And those issues are past I know this now. But there still seems to be a core problem with my thinking.

I still seem to have a problem with letting people in, to the real gut wrenching area - that place where fear lives. The place where the soul knows everything and strives to grow in love and harmony. The struggle between my personality and my soul. Personality not in the common sense but of what I am in my head or show in my behaviors - the kind of personality that holds onto the fears, addictions and insecurities.

The fear, addiction and insecurity hold me back - from the growth of my soul. I am seeing this clearly but have not been able to take concrete action to overcome them. There is a part of me that wants love but the fear and insecurity have more power then the place in my soul that is searching for the light of love.

Knowing this is hard - just like an alcoholic is not comfortable with a belly full of beer and a head full of AA - they can't exist together in peace and harmony. My intentions are being underminded by my personality. I think I've tried to find a way to have both for most of my life and now know its not possible. Now that the cover is off it no longer can be replaced.

Love is life - I really believe that but my actions are not congruent with my thoughts. That really ticks me off about myself. I've known this for sometime and would think I would have been ready to deal with it all so long ago - but I keep myself stuck. I let the less enlightened part of me have the power of the soul and the kicker is that I know the soul knows all this.

So, why or how can the soul, which knows that love is life, let the personality keep the power? I know its not in our nature to want to change but I am not inclined to buy that so simply. I try to ask myself those questions such as "Will this be helpful to my enlightenment, or helpful to my soul on this earth or any life that may come next?", and I do pray for the tempations to be removed and for old behaviors and reactions be taken from me.

Recently I was - for lack of a better word - "invited" to do something that has been so tempting - physically and perhaps emotionally too. I have struggled with the matter and looked at similar behaviors from my past and the behaviors in my life now and find so much that doesn't add up.

So I think this post is for a few reasons, perhaps someone can relate (and I aplogize for being a bit vague on the above paragraph but its personal) or perhaps someone has experienced this struggle, as one of the most important things for me is to remember that I am not the only one in this world with complexities and I am not alone.

I am humbled right now and feel this is the best place for me to be to allow growth to occur.

Cate...the only advice I can give is to keep up the good fight and to have patience that you will open your heart when the timing is right for you.

If I understand you correctly I can tell you that you are not alone. I was there for many years...more than I'd care to admit. The cause may have been different...I don't know your particular situation...but the result was the same.

I'm not sure what started changing my mind...opened the door to the possibility that I needed to change. I do know that slowly over time I realized that the benefit of being safe from being hurt was costing me more than I was missing by not allowing myself to love and be loved. Part of me is logical and analytical so the cost - benefit analogy worked for me.

I do know that it took a huge leap of faith for me and a lot of courage...to give myself permission to let my heart win over my mind...particularly since my mind told me the chance of making it a long term relationship was minimal (for reasons out of either of our control). But I took the leap...following my heart...it was wonderful....later both of our hearts were broken....but I couldn't regret taking the chance...had to thank him for helping me open my heart...found out I was strong enough to survive and not shut down again...was a good feeling.

Hope this makes sense. Good luck hon.

 

[Cathleen]

Cate...the only advice I can give is to keep up the good fight and to have patience that you will open your heart when the timing is right for you.

If I understand you correctly I can tell you that you are not alone. I was there for many years...more than I'd care to admit. The cause may have been different...I don't know your particular situation...but the result was the same.

I'm not sure what started changing my mind...opened the door to the possibility that I needed to change. I do know that slowly over time I realized that the benefit of being safe from being hurt was costing me more than I was missing by not allowing myself to love and be loved. Part of me is logical and analytical so the cost - benefit analogy worked for me.

I do know that it took a huge leap of faith for me and a lot of courage...to give myself permission to let my heart win over my mind...particularly since my mind told me the chance of making it a long term relationship was minimal (for reasons out of either of our control). But I took the leap...following my heart...it was wonderful....later both of our hearts were broken....but I couldn't regret taking the chance...had to thank him for helping me open my heart...found out I was strong enough to survive and not shut down again...was a good feeling.

Hope this makes sense. Good luck hon.

WW it makes sense...... thank you.

I understand the risk - the leap that is involved. I too am analytical by nature - perhaps too much but it works for me too. I think I am on the verge of getting the lesson - well lesson #1 on the matter. I need to remember what I know I know and what I don't know will be made known if need be. Change is difficult but if nothing changes then nothing changes and this needs to change. I will work on it and thanks for the support.

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by Cathleen
WW it makes sense...... thank you.

I understand the risk - the leap that is involved. I too am analytical by nature - perhaps too much but it works for me too. I think I am on the verge of getting the lesson - well lesson #1 on the matter. I need to remember what I know I know and what I don't know will be made known if need be. Change is difficult but if nothing changes then nothing changes and this needs to change. I will work on it and thanks for the support.

 

[~Dream~]

Why do these posts not surprise me...considering the number of hijacks of this thread? Personally I, and I would guess a number of others, enjoy the intended subject of this thread. It serves a purpose that is clearly reflected in the posts here. If you don't enjoy it and don't want to contribute to the subject matter, I suggest that you start your own thread or find another one more appropriate to your liking. Personally I've had more than enough of baseball...

Nothing like making yourself comfortable in someone else's home, drinking all the beer, eating the food, and then insulting the host.

LMAO

Applauds@ WW

 

[midwestyankee]

Why do these posts not surprise me...considering the number of hijacks of this thread? Personally I, and I would guess a number of others, enjoy the intended subject of this thread. It serves a purpose that is clearly reflected in the posts here. If you don't enjoy it and don't want to contribute to the subject matter, I suggest that you start your own thread or find another one more appropriate to your liking. Personally I've had more than enough of baseball...

Nothing like making yourself comfortable in someone else's home, drinking all the beer, eating the food, and then insulting the host.

Thanks, WW. BTW, your PM box is full. Someone must like you. Care to share a little here in our thread?

X 12 for your intercession.

 

[Ammo44]

Why do these posts not surprise me...considering the number of hijacks of this thread? Personally I, and I would guess a number of others, enjoy the intended subject of this thread. It serves a purpose that is clearly reflected in the posts here. If you don't enjoy it and don't want to contribute to the subject matter, I suggest that you start your own thread or find another one more appropriate to your liking. Personally I've had more than enough of baseball...

Nothing like making yourself comfortable in someone else's home, drinking all the beer, eating the food, and then insulting the host.

By the way.......here's the bill............Play balllllllllll....

 

[midwestyankee]

By the way.......here's the bill............Play balllllllllll....

High road, be damned.

Ammo, this is juvenile bullshit and you know it. I used to think you were an adult.

 

[Ammo44]

High road, be damned.

Ammo, this is juvenile bullshit and you know it. I used to think you were an adult.

Juvenile behavior is when the posters in here gang up on DLL.......I am most definitely an adult by the way....your opinion means nothing.

 

[~Dream~]

I really dont feel anyone is ganging up on anyone here ..facts are fact tho ...

when ya post in a thread its almost a sure way of just being Civil ..to stay to the TOPIC of the thread...sometimes we all get a little carried away and are disrespectful to the thread starter...and I would just simply apologize then and TRY not to do it again ..OR is anyone too selfish and self -centered and maybe have a bit too much of an EGO to do that ??

In the Spirit of the thread ..Let's behave like an Adult when possible and Stick To the Topic which I believe was Love ...can ya handle that??..maybe not ..

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by midwestyankee
Thanks, WW. BTW, your PM box is full. Someone must like you. Care to share a little here in our thread?

X 12 for your intercession.

My apologies for the full PM box...just lazy on my part....let me clear some out.

 

[GiveawayGirl]

My apologies for the full PM box...just lazy on my part....let me clear some out.

I suspect......

it's less about being lazy and more about being well-loved

Hello friend

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by GiveawayGirl
I suspect......

it's less about being lazy and more about being well-loved

Hello friend

Now don't go making me blush GG....love is a difficult word at times...but I will agree it is about being well cared for.

Morning friend..good to see you.

 

[GiveawayGirl]

Now don't go making me blush GG....love is a difficult word at times...but I will agree it is about being well cared for.

Morning friend..good to see you.

Well, perhaps I don't speak of love in the same way as the love Yank tries to tirelessly to define, but in my own way it's appropriate

Good morning to you, how are you today?

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by GiveawayGirl
Well, perhaps I don't speak of love in the same way as the love Yank tries to tirelessly to define, but in my own way it's appropriate

Good morning to you, how are you today?

Just waking up...feeling decadant that I slept in so much...but I'm great...just got a call though and have to rush off shortly....short but sweet...hope you're well...glad to see you got a few minutes to play.

 

[GiveawayGirl]

Just waking up...feeling decadant that I slept in so much...but I'm great...just got a call though and have to rush off shortly....short but sweet...hope you're well...glad to see you got a few minutes to play.

Have a wonderful day

 

[wicked woman]

I love you not as something private and personal, which is my own, but as something universal and worthy of love which I have found.
--Henry David Thoreau

 

[Wyldfire]

Juvenile behavior is when the posters in here gang up on DLL.......I am most definitely an adult by the way....your opinion means nothing.

Ammo, I think yer fergettin somethin here. Look at who's thread it is. This is MY's venue a lettin wha he wants ta out inta th public. So ummmm in this case his opinion DOES mean somethin. Ya say yer an adult then do th adult thing an walk away from th thread if ya got issues wit th thread's creator. Would ya like it if someone came inta a thread a yers an started thrashin at ya? I don think ya would sweetie. So please be nice an either keep this ta PM's or jus be th adult ya sat ya are an walk away from it please?

 

[DLL]

Originally posted by Damsel666
Ammo, I think yer fergettin somethin here. Look at who's thread it is. This is MY's venue a lettin wha he wants ta out inta th public. So ummmm in this case his opinion DOES mean somethin. Ya say yer an adult then do th adult thing an walk away from th thread if ya got issues wit th thread's creator. Would ya like it if someone came inta a thread a yers an started thrashin at ya? I don think ya would sweetie. So please be nice an either keep this ta PM's or jus be th adult ya sat ya are an walk away from it please?

Damsel...Ammo never insulted the threads host nor did I we just got off topic a bit and were misunderstood...Yankee knows me better to think I would insult him or any poster on a thread Its not my style or intent as it was Ammos we were just chatting..things got way out of hand and if its an apology needed than we both apoligize.With that said I hope this thread moves forward because believe it or not I do enjoy reading the posters thoughts.
Peace and Love
DLL

 

[MT_Pitcher]

Love is forgiving and forgetting.... and moving on.......

 

[tonitits]

and even MORE thoughts on Love ...

Love and intimacy is a deep human hunger and necessity God gave us for our best gift to one another. Without love we are often very lonely in life.

Maximum love is a learned skill, a growing process in a relationship of Trust, honesty, respect and kindness.

Trust is knowing another will not hurt or reject me if I reveal my deepest weakness but will try and be actively involved in my growth.

Love invites, encourages, smiles, makes each other feel good about ourselves. We can go out in the world and do what we wish and have the courage to be all we can be. Results in accepting ourselves when we fail, knowing we are still loved which brings us the self confidence to try again and not be overcome with fear of failure.

Emotional responsibility is the loving response to the vulnerability in openness to each other. The more one is able to say "Hey, this is me, I don't have to hide or pretend", the more there is true love.

Sometimes we reject a loving friends advice because we don't want to hear the truth. With love we can still be friends and discuss the concerns of life and share each others visions from their perspective and respect their views. We must listen with an open mind. We must desire honesty in others and stop the games we often play.

Love is sharing when passing through pain to deeper understanding. When we get to a hard place in life, full of pain, we want to go around it not through it. We want to ignore the problem. The energy we want to spend on escaping can instead be used on revelation -going through the problem finding solutions and becoming stronger because of the tough times of life.

A loving person is sensitive and looks for wounded hearts around us. A hurting person often needs a loving arm around the shoulder, or a sincere hug and "How are you really? Want to talk ? A hand held out, an invitation to join in, into love, into a loving group, into sharing, into involvement and growth.

In a loving friendship giving sexual pleasure can be a wonderful expression of love. In true love sex is not selfish, which is lust. Loving sex is when both are emotionally ready to share this deepest and most fulfilling level of intimacy and is not just physical passion.

In love we must each still maintain our own unique individuality. Loves does not control or dominate a person but seeks what's best for the other.

There is no such thing as perfect love because we are all imperfect people. We will not be perfect, we can only work on growth.

Only those who feel good about themselves can experience the best of love. We should help each other build confidence in our self image. When we are down on ourselves what we see in the mirror becomes distorted - we are unable to see the beauty in ourselves that is truly there.

The best gift we can share with another is the experience of love, in a friendship, casual relationship or in marriage. When we give love we usually receive even more love . Love doesn't need to be saved, it is like knowledge, the more we share the more we get by interacting with others. When we give love away, we don't have less but more.


Never ever Give Up On love~
~

Those are some beautiful sentiments Dream. Thanks for sharing them. I know I for one have given up on love before. Being in love is alot better. It is a very cold, lonely place without love.

 

[MT_Pitcher]

Those are some beautiful sentiments Dream. Thanks for sharing them. I know I for one have given up on love before. Being in love is alot better. It is a very cold, lonely place without love.

Can't give up on love, but sometimes you have to take a rest.
It's the only thing worth living for......

 

[tonitits]

Can't give up on love, but sometimes you have to take a rest.
It's the only thing worth living for......

I think that is where I am in my life right now. Like I said before because of things in my younger days I gave up on love and just kind of went through the motions of life, get up, go to work, come home, do what I have to, go to bed and start it all over the next day! Then I realized that I was missing the feeling of loving and being loved and started to let ppl get closer to me and then out of the blue, not looking and not really wanting to be in love I found the most wonderful man and we thought that we had found true love and that we had found our soulmates. We were both very happy and love each other to the core. But he suddenly broke it off with me. Due to situations beyond our control we can not be together anytime soon or maybe never. We will always love each other forever, that much we both know.
Why does love hurt so bad? He has set me free to find someone who can be there for me and to love me and my son. He has offered me his friendship but that is all he can offer me at this time. But I can't let go. I don't want to let go. I love him too much. So what is a person to do?

 

[midwestyankee]

I love you not as something private and personal, which is my own, but as something universal and worthy of love which I have found.
--Henry David Thoreau

Love is as love does.
--midwestyankee