Defining Love

[midwestyankee]

which of course raises the question, ... how did we both get this far without the map and candles????????

Who said anything about getting very far?

Despite what some might say, persistence is not the highest form of being.

 

[DLL]

GOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooYANKEES!!!!!!!!!

 

[shyly curious]

Who said anything about getting very far?

Despite what some might say, persistence is not the highest form of being.

my parents always taught us that, ... "There Is No Such Word As Can't!!!!"

and i believe they were / are right about this, life is a string of opportunities, and all options are feasible if you are determined, ...


so i believe that being happy, and being loved, and giving love are realistic expectations for my life.

 

[midwestyankee]

If it’s just a Game
That we play
Before we leave this Earth
For the Heavens above
Then surely the one who wins
Is the one who learns
How to have
A Life full of Living
And a Heart full of Love

DLL

It was so good of you to let the poet out to play.

Now, there's a theory for you to comment on and a few questions you may find intriguing. Enjoy.

 

[Cathleen]

So today's theory didn't provoke anywhere near enough controversy. And what fun is that going into a weekend? So here's something else to stir the pot. A few questions that came to an idle mind on a dreary afternoon:


Why do you want controversy Yank? Why why why? LOL

I'll give this a shot here...


What sense (touch, sight, smell, etc.) evokes love most powerfully for you?
Its hard to choose one sense....and the fact that love is a feeling makes it more difficult. But, if I had to choose one, or two, it would be sight then touch

Is your earliest memory of romantic love positive or negative? How do you think this has shaped your life in love since then?

My earliest memory was probably around 15 or so.... I don't think it really matters at all now, I am so totally different....my head works now!

Which has taken you the furthest from the norm: the high of gaining love or the low of losing it?

The high of beliving I was in love.....I really don't think I've ever truly been in love.

If you had the opportunity to change one thing you had done in a relationship with a beloved (and thus change the course of your own history), what would it be and why would you do it?
I would not change anything in my past, nothing.... I am as comfortable now as I ever have been in my life!

Right now, are you more in love than ever, about the same, or less so than ever?

I am not in love right now.
On that same scale, where do you think you will be one year from today?

It would be nice to be in love, but since there are no guarantees, I'll take alive!

If you could make a composite person by combining the best features of beloveds from your past, would you do it? Why or why not?
No, I take them all with me and take people as they are today.

 

[redrider4u]

If it’s just a Game
That we play
Before we leave this Earth
For the Heavens above
Then surely the one who wins
Is the one who learns
How to have
A Life full of Living
And a Heart full of Love

DLL


GOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooYANKEES!!!!!!!!!

Truer words were not spoken, DLL.......I mean the poem not the Yankees. And ....glad your spelling corrected........

I comes down to love and trust..........and acceptance.

Oh, btw, I underdtand the Yankess are playing the Bronx Little League and are favored 5:3 by the bookies.

 

[DLL]

Originally posted by Peteslaw2
Not to put to fine a point on defining love, but you can get the game times in the paper.

 

[shyly curious]

But pete I thought you always loved when I gave you the scores and times this way.....

oh no, did someone score and i missed it again ... sheesh

 

[Peteslaw2]

But pete I thought you always loved when I gave you the scores and times this way.....

I do. That was my point. Take no offense Yank.

 

[Party Girl]

Party Girl you are adorable!!!!

here a q for you to ponder.....

Have you ever loved someone completely and they won't let themselves love you completely???

I know I'm late answering. Damn moving!! LOL

Yes, I have loved before. And been loved. But maybe it's just my personality, or my innate and VERY strong distrust of people in general that keeps me from sharing all of myself - loving someone COMPLETELY.

*sigh* Okay. That's a lie. I did, once. I was engaged to someone for almost a year, and was so in love that I would have cheerfully dropped dead for him. It's hard for me to express it ... even harder because I'm not a sentimental person. But I would have done anything for this guy. Long story short, he fucked me over in such a way that I'm getting teary-eyed typing this ... just thinking about it. The wound still throbs, and bleeds a little more each time I think of him ... which is SO many times a day. And it's been nearly two years since it ended.

Yeah, I know I'm an idiot about it. No need to remind me.

Since then, I've been hurt and violated in other ways, and each time it happens I become more convinced that love - "true love" - is merely a figment of my imagination.

 

[DLL]

Love is not just a feeling
but something
that I want to do with you
for the rest of our lives
DLL

LR this is for you

 

[Peteslaw2]

I know I'm late answering. Damn moving!! LOL

Yes, I have loved before. And been loved. But maybe it's just my personality, or my innate and VERY strong distrust of people in general that keeps me from sharing all of myself - loving someone COMPLETELY.

*sigh* Okay. That's a lie. I did, once. I was engaged to someone for almost a year, and was so in love that I would have cheerfully dropped dead for him. It's hard for me to express it ... even harder because I'm not a sentimental person. But I would have done anything for this guy. Long story short, he fucked me over in such a way that I'm getting teary-eyed typing this ... just thinking about it. The wound still throbs, and bleeds a little more each time I think of him ... which is SO many times a day. And it's been nearly two years since it ended.

Yeah, I know I'm an idiot about it. No need to remind me.

Since then, I've been hurt and violated in other ways, and each time it happens I become more convinced that love - "true love" - is merely a figment of my imagination.

This question could stem from a woman that I love and loves me.
I had a similar experience to yours some 40 years ago. It makes me hold back. Do whatever you can to get over it, or your love will never believe you love them.

 

[Party Girl]

This question could stem from a woman that I love and loves me.
I had a similar experience to yours some 40 years ago. It makes me hold back. Do whatever you can to get over it, or your love will never believe you love them.

I can't help but think it might be the best that way most of the time. Sad, I know.

But I think also, that if someone COULD really love be that much that he'd be understanding of my hesitation.

 

[midwestyankee]

Friends, I am retiring from this thread. Perhaps someone else will be interested in keeping it up.

to you all for the discussions we have had here.

mwy

 

[Shoshisexy]

Why are you retiring, MWY?

You always have the best and most thought-provoking questions to ask!

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by midwestyankee
Friends, I am retiring from this thread. Perhaps someone else will be interested in keeping it up.

to you all for the discussions we have had here.

mwy

I understand hon...((((((Yank))))))

Thanks for this thread....have lurked more than I've posted but that doesn't mean I didn't appreciate it, because I did....well except for the baseball antics hehe

 

[shyly curious]

Friends, I am retiring from this thread. Perhaps someone else will be interested in keeping it up.

to you all for the discussions we have had here.

mwy

I for one hope this thread lives on, ... i enjoy the discussions and the ruminations that follow.

Thank you Yank for starting this thread and sharing so much with all of us.

be well, shy

 

[Shoshisexy]

MWY, good luck in all your endeavors. *hugs*

Shy, I am with you on keeping the thread going as it has really helped me define a lot of things that were nebulous to me before. Either just through answering the profound questions or through reading the answers others gave.

Working on a long-distance relationship is tough. This thread has helped alot.

 

[DLL]

I will know Love
No matter what circumstances
The World may give me
No matter how many people
Choose to turn and walk away

I will find Love
In the laughter of little children
In the gentleness of animals
In the beauty and glory of Nature
In the knowledge of myself

And when the day comes
That I find someone who does not turn away
I will give Love
With all my Heart
DLL



ok...now lets talk about them yankees!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[redrider4u]

I will know Love
No matter what circumstances
The World may give me
No matter how many people
Choose to turn and walk away

I will find Love
In the laughter of little children
In the gentleness of animals
In the beauty and glory of Nature
In the knowledge of myself

And when the day comes
That I find someone who does not turn away
I will give Love
With all my Heart
DLL



ok...now lets talk about them yankees!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hey, DLL........the yanks are on a roll..........


She came to me one night dark and stormy
bowing to me, this maid before me

Ravish her I did again and again
while she loved our sin

The wet leather she did adore
the pain she cried for more

Truly, my servant was sweet as a dove
Yes, she was defining love...........

 

[Wyldfire]

Friends, I am retiring from this thread. Perhaps someone else will be interested in keeping it up.

to you all for the discussions we have had here.

mwy

G'luck MYE Yer gonna be missed a gozen a these an one a these fer ya.................

 

[Shoshisexy]

I will know Love
No matter what circumstances
The World may give me
No matter how many people
Choose to turn and walk away

I will find Love
In the laughter of little children
In the gentleness of animals
In the beauty and glory of Nature
In the knowledge of myself

And when the day comes
That I find someone who does not turn away
I will give Love
With all my Heart
DLL

Beautiful, DLL. You do have a great inner poet.

I personally think that your poem has the right order of things in that you must find love in yourself before finding it in others. What do others think?

 

[Cathleen]

I agree Shosh..... but sometimes it takes someone to love you for you to love yourself as well...... I have a wonderful friend that loves me, just as I am....he loves the parts of me that I can't seem to stand about myself....so his actions have allowed me to become more connected with those parts.... I am grateful for that.

For me it took a long time to acknowledge that I could love parts of myself.... it just wasn't something I ever learned....or it was thought to be egotisical.... but I know now that isn't correct.... but it is still difficult and daunting sometimes!

 

[Shoshisexy]

I agree Shosh..... but sometimes it takes someone to love you for you to love yourself as well...... I have a wonderful friend that loves me, just as I am....he loves the parts of me that I can't seem to stand about myself....so his actions have allowed me to become more connected with those parts.... I am grateful for that.

For me it took a long time to acknowledge that I could love parts of myself.... it just wasn't something I ever learned....or it was thought to be egotisical.... but I know now that isn't correct.... but it is still difficult and daunting sometimes!

Cat, you are right in that loving parts of yourself is tough...and it helps when someone else points out that those parts are lovable as well.

It took me a long time to learn to love myself...And I still backslide at times.

Luckily I have my rents and Damsel and Swain to remind me.

Cat...remember, part of the reason we are all here is to remind people that love is possible whether it is of ourselves or others.

 

[Cathleen]

Thanks Shos...

I did some more pondering and reading this afternoon about loving ones self. I picked up a few books I keep nearby, one of which is Gary Zukav's The Seat of the Soul . It is a deep study (I think its deep) of spirit and love and self.

Ok... so after reading and thinking...... I am brought back to the psychology of love. Zukav's premise is about soul.... and since I believe wholeheartedly in the presence of a soul in humans, I never have to question this area. So my soul, it exists, and love exists and the two are tied together. My soul feels love, can love others. If I am unable to love myself, then I can not love others.... his thought....I am not all that conviced until I read more. We can not love others without loving ourself because we will not be able to stand to see others loved. If we can't treat ourselves kindly, then we will resent that treatment when you see it in others. And the biggie...if you can not love yourself then loving others will become a very painful endeavor, with only moments of comfort.

There is a connection between how you treat yourself and the love you give. As if you get your own medicine. This hurt me to read, and I don't really want to believe it, as I am thinking I fall into the "taste of my own medicine" category. My actions though belie my feelings on this idea. I am kind, loving and caring. But I find I am so closed to love, that I am almost unlovable. That the idea of how I treat myself has come to fruition, and I am getting a taste of my own medicine; it hurts to acknowledge and hurts to feel.

Awareness has been an important part of my adult life, being mindful too. But mostly awareness, as without it I am in denial. With out it I can not start the process of change. So while I am aware of this defect, I can gladened too, for now is the opportunity to change and grow. This is how my soul grows too, and each time my soul grows I do feel I become closer to my true self.

So I will continue to be kind to others. I will also take a closer look at how I treat myself, give myself the compassion I give others. Actually give myself all that I give others, love, care, concern and comfort. So I suppose it isn't so bad now, I just have more work to do, as always. Growth is work, hard work, the right path is often the most difficult path. Since I've faced other difficult isses, I will face this too.

Glad you brought this up! Thanks. (I think lol)