Defining Love

[Shoshisexy]

I prefer the exclusive list, myself, as well. It only has two names on it.

Congrats on the 6000 posts, Liza! As for the dating sites....Well...That's where I met Damsel and Swain...and we are doing well. But we are all three honest as anything. We have said stuff that could have shattered the relationship all in the name of having an honest relationship. So...be careful, be wary, but be open to the unexpected.

As for the redhead thing...well...I am actually a brunette with auburn highlights naturally...I dye mine auburn because I like it that way.

 

[Wyldfire]

I prefer the exclusive list, myself, as well. It only has two names on it.

Congrats on the 6000 posts, Liza! As for the dating sites....Well...That's where I met Damsel and Swain...and we are doing well. But we are all three honest as anything. We have said stuff that could have shattered the relationship all in the name of having an honest relationship. So...be careful, be wary, but be open to the unexpected.

As for the redhead thing...well...I am actually a brunette with auburn highlights naturally...I dye mine auburn because I like it that way.

He he he IF I had th easiest a hair ta identify by ya'd find me Naturally redhead

 

[Cathleen]

If we're talking lists, then in the broad term of love....inclusive would be be my term............ otherwise...very exclusive, if it is the partnership love.

Good morning Everyone!

 

[Cathleen]

Just re-reading The Seat of the Soul and came across this:

"The loving personality seeks not to control, but to nuture, not to dominate, but to empower. Love is the richness and fullness of your soul flowing through you."

Guess I'll ponder that awhile!


Cate

 

[alonelygal]

love is...

pain

failure

wrenching

loss

 

[Wyldfire]

love is...

pain

failure

wrenching

loss

Oh Hon, I know th feelin but ya gotta NEVER give up on Love.... True love'll find ya sooner or later.... {Offers Comfort}

 

[Cathleen]

love is...

pain

failure

wrenching

loss

hi joanna..... you know I'm here for you!! I understand!

 

[midwestyankee]

love is...

pain

failure

wrenching

loss

One of the more difficult things to accept about love is that before we can enter into love, we must do so hopeful that it will never end but accepting that it will inevitably end and tear us apart in the process. It's a little bit like signing up to be in a train wreck - you just don't know when the train is going to derail.

X 12 for you, alonelygal. I hope that someday soon you will see the day in a better light.

 

[Cathleen]

One of the more difficult things to accept about love is that before we can enter into love, we must do so hopeful that it will never end but accepting that it will inevitably end and tear us apart in the process. It's a little bit like signing up to be in a train wreck - you just don't know when the train is going to derail.

X 12 for you, alonelygal. I hope that someday soon you will see the day in a better light.

not liking that one at all MWY....looking for another line!! but I suppose you're right....

 

[appleapps]

One of the more difficult things to accept about love is that before we can enter into love, we must do so hopeful that it will never end but accepting that it will inevitably end and tear us apart in the process. It's a little bit like signing up to be in a train wreck - you just don't know when the train is going to derail.

X 12 for you, alonelygal. I hope that someday soon you will see the day in a better light.

Ok, i can see how that is true, but why look at the negative part of it, why not just enjoy it for what it is?? I like to be more optimistic about things, would rather see the glass as half full instead of half empty,,,,,,, live life for the moment, cause who knows if you will have a tomorrow, and who cares as long as you are enjoying today

 

[midwestyankee]

not liking that one at all MWY....looking for another line!! but I suppose you're right....

Let me see if I can clarify this a bit.

When I said that accepting love is a bit like signing up to be in a train wreck I meant only that pain is inevitably a consequence of love. But even those who are fully aware of the inevitability of the pain sign on willingly because what precedes the pain could be years of exquisite peace and happiness. The pain is no reason to avoid love, only to cherish it while it is in your life.

Does this help?

 

[midwestyankee]

Ok, i can see how that is true, but why look at the negative part of it, why not just enjoy it for what it is?? I like to be more optimistic about things, would rather see the glass as half full instead of half empty,,,,,,, live life for the moment, cause who knows if you will have a tomorrow, and who cares as long as you are enjoying today

I fully agree, AA. Even a so-called impossible love (one between two people who, for one reason or another, may never be able to be completely together) has the potential for enriching lives and that could be enough to sustain the love a long time. Yes, some pain is inevitable, but if love is not about hope in some form I suspect it cannot truly last.

 

[Cathleen]

Let me see if I can clarify this a bit.

When I said that accepting love is a bit like signing up to be in a train wreck I meant only that pain is inevitably a consequence of love. But even those who are fully aware of the inevitability of the pain sign on willingly because what precedes the pain could be years of exquisite peace and happiness. The pain is no reason to avoid love, only to cherish it while it is in your life.

Does this help?

Oh, it helps. And I understand. I know that pain is part of the emotion of love, and likely a small part. Its just hard is all. I know you can't feel happiness without knowing sadness etc.... and that love is a risk of the heart and spirit. A risk well worth taking I'm sure, but hard none the less.

You sure you don't something other than that train wreck!!!

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by midwestyankee
I fully agree, AA. Even a so-called impossible love (one between two people who, for one reason or another, may never be able to be completely together) has the potential for enriching lives and that could be enough to sustain the love a long time. Yes, some pain is inevitable, but if love is not about hope in some form I suspect it cannot truly last.

yes definitely enriching lives...able to sustain love a long time...and inevitable pain....and hope...oh *sigh*...Yankee you hit a chord here for me...and many pleasant memories...now

 

[appleapps]

I fully agree, AA. Even a so-called impossible love (one between two people who, for one reason or another, may never be able to be completely together) has the potential for enriching lives and that could be enough to sustain the love a long time. Yes, some pain is inevitable, but if love is not about hope in some form I suspect it cannot truly last.

Well sure it is about hope also, you always are hoping it lasts forever, even though you know forever isnt realistic.

 

[midwestyankee]

Oh, it helps. And I understand. I know that pain is part of the emotion of love, and likely a small part. Its just hard is all. I know you can't feel happiness without knowing sadness etc.... and that love is a risk of the heart and spirit. A risk well worth taking I'm sure, but hard none the less.

You sure you don't something other than that train wreck!!!

The last time I lost a love I felt like I had been in a train wreck. That's where I got the image.

 

[Cathleen]

I fully agree, AA. Even a so-called impossible love (one between two people who, for one reason or another, may never be able to be completely together) has the potential for enriching lives and that could be enough to sustain the love a long time. Yes, some pain is inevitable, but if love is not about hope in some form I suspect it cannot truly last.

Love is far reaching, no one will ever know truly how we touch someones life with our actions. A smimple smile or hello, can bring joy to another. Taking the time to help someone or talk with another just may save their faith in humanity and in love. I guess thats the good side of it all. I find actions such as those to be natural to me, maybe because I find it easy to talk with others and want to help people. (Maybe its because I'm a chatter box too!)
this a very nice thread MWY, thank you!

 

[Cathleen]

The last time I lost a love I felt like I had been in a train wreck. That's where I got the image.

I understand.... and I am sorry for your loss. Peace to you!

 

[TantaLiza]

I remember a couple years ago when I allowed myself to actually "love".... it was good and it showed me all that I'd been missing over the years. It also hurt like fuckin hell when I realized that he wasn't gonna grow up enough to suit me and that I loved him but I wasn't "in love" with him....

It truly felt like a train wreck to me, too, Yankee... I cried off and on for days.... I do want parts of it again one day tho so it didn't totally scare me away from the emotion!

Do you believe there is a difference between "loving" and being "in love"??? (Sorry if this has been covered... )

 

[Shoshisexy]

Liza: I know exactly what you mean. I thought I was "in love" with someone and found out that I just loved them, as a friend and person.

I am lucky enough now to have fallen in love with two incredible people...but there has already been a lot of pain between the three of us...and very painful honesty. So love comes with pain and can be completely gut-wrenching at times.

In the end...I think it's worth it, though.

 

[midwestyankee]

I remember a couple years ago when I allowed myself to actually "love".... it was good and it showed me all that I'd been missing over the years. It also hurt like fuckin hell when I realized that he wasn't gonna grow up enough to suit me and that I loved him but I wasn't "in love" with him....

It truly felt like a train wreck to me, too, Yankee... I cried off and on for days.... I do want parts of it again one day tho so it didn't totally scare me away from the emotion!

Do you believe there is a difference between "loving" and being "in love"??? (Sorry if this has been covered... )

Liza, I'm sorry you had the experience you described. It's never easy.

I think that loving and being in love are greatly different. Loving someone is an act of will. You extend yourself in every way possible to help him or her live a better, more fulfilling life. You help that person grow spiritually. Being in love is a state of being driven by thoughts of the other person. It's a very self-centered state because it's all about how the other person makes you feel. Loving is an other-centered state because it's all about giving to your beloved.

IMHO, anyway.

 

[DreamOfSun]

This is something I just came across, and it made me think of this thread... I wonder what you all think?


Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing, and your voice caught within your chest?

It isn't Love, it's Like.

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right?

It isn't Love, it's Lust.

Are you proud, and eager to show them off?

It isn't Love, it's Luck.

Do you want them because you know they're there?

It isn't Love, it's Loneliness.

Are you there because it's what everyone wants?

It isn't Love, it's Loyalty.

Do you stay for their confessions of Love, because you don't want to hurt them?

It isn't Love, it's Pity.

Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand?

It isn't Love, it's being Unconfident.

Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat?

It isn't Love, it's Infatuation.

Do you pardon their faults because you care about them?

It isn't Love, it's Friendship.

Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of?

It isn't Love, it's a Lie.

Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake?

It isn't Love, it's Charity.

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad?

Then it's Love.

Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret?

Then it's Love.

Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are?

Then it's Love.

Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?

Then it's Love.

Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?

Then it's Love.

But do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and elation pulls you close and holds you?

Then it's Love.

Would you give them your heart, your life, your death?

Then it's Love.

Now, if Love is painful, and tortures us so,
why do we Love?
Why is it all we search for in life?
This pain, this agony?
Why is it all we long for?
This torture, this powerful death of self?
Why?
Because it's...
Love

Author: Unknown

 

[Cathleen]

thank you!
so touching and true it almosts hurts! But more likely my heart will sing from reading it over and over!!

 

[midwestyankee]

DOS, thanks for the contribution.

I've read through the piece you quoted a few times now. The only way I can get it to make sense to me is with this edit: change the beginning of each item to say "If the only reason you..." With that change, this litany makes good sense. That would, however, remove most of the warmth from the piece.

Perhaps I'm in a slightly cynical mood at the moment. If so, it will pass and the romantic in me will once again come to the surface.

 

[Cathleen]

cynical would be a damn site better than what i am feeling