Defining Love

[~Dream~]

Agreed.

My own take on this is that, by itself, love does not hurt. It's the loss of love, or the fear of losing it that hurts so much. And does it ever hurt when this happens. I don't think there is a single person who posts here who hasn't had this experience more than once.

It is a short-term stay in hell on earth.

Love does too Hurt ..it Hurts like HELL and I am here to prove it!!

Ya give your trust and your love to a man and he can still at ANYTIME mind you ,tell you that 'things change ,feelings change ,etc OR any 1 of Millions of more Excuses NOt to really Commit to you and FEAR is what causes all of it ,FEAR to REALLY love.....I have been hurt for the LAST damn time..hell all this hurting by men almost makes me wanna turn Bi ,LOL ..I said almost ..

heres what Broke my heart recently ....as recent as LAST NIGHT

My marvelous rest of the week was completely shattered last night when the man who SUPPOSEDLY loves me ,by his own profession said his feelings have changed...and to top it off ..3 days before my scheduled visit and he also put me down for talking to ppl online ( says there are some REAL WINNERS ) on here....which that much is true ..THERE ARE ..and at least my friends ONLINE werent dumb enuf to rob a bank and get themselves put in Prison ,LOL

I am sorry ,I am hurting really bad and a good friend recently told me not to air too much stuff online but I really DONt give a damn ,This is me ,its who I am..the same sweet and loving person you see online is also a sweet and loving mother and good friend Offline as well..no offense to any of you ,but this has caused my trust in men to get thrown completely OUT the window now....If anyone thinks playing Mind or emotional games with ANYONE is funny then I am here to tell you ,ITS NOT....I really Loved James ,Still do and turned alot of myself around for him..sacrificed alot ..appparently Not enuf in his eyes...he sent me shoeboxes FULL of cards ,poems and letters and I have collect calls I have accepted for up to $ 105 a month addded on to my reg bill just so we could talk....I though he was different than the OTHERS who have weasled their way into my life , and hurt me ,But indeed he is not ..once again I was wrong to trust my heart..for obvious reasons I wont be posting pics for awhile and I pray you all understand....well hell Like James said ..'I'll probably just fall right back in love with somebody in oh ..maybe less than a week.....yeah right ...THAT was the Most HURTFUL thing he said to me...he 's getting a letter ,1 last 1 from me telling him exactly what I think about ppl Like him ,and if there's any justice in the world ,his parole will get denied again this year as well...I hope he has Fun celebrating his Birthday ALONE this Saturday....I could have and would have been there for him...now I am gonna concentrate on ME and my son...Noone else..

 

[shell seeker2]

Love does too Hurt ..it Hurts like HELL and I am here to prove it!!

Ya give your trust and your love to a man and he can still at ANYTIME mind you ,tell you that 'things change ,feelings change ,etc OR any 1 of Millions of more Excuses NOt to really Commit to you and FEAR is what causes all of it ,FEAR to REALLY love.....I have been hurt for the LAST damn time..hell all this hurting by men almost makes me wanna turn Bi ,LOL ..I said almost ..

heres what Broke my heart recently ....as recent as LAST NIGHT

My marvelous rest of the week was completely shattered last night when the man who SUPPOSEDLY loves me ,by his own profession said his feelings have changed...and to top it off ..3 days before my scheduled visit and he also put me down for talking to ppl online ( says there are some REAL WINNERS ) on here....which that much is true ..THERE ARE ..and at least my friends ONLINE werent dumb enuf to rob a bank and get themselves put in Prison ,LOL

I am sorry ,I am hurting really bad and a good friend recently told me not to air too much stuff online but I really DONt give a damn ,This is me ,its who I am..the same sweet and loving person you see online is also a sweet and loving mother and good friend Offline as well..no offense to any of you ,but this has caused my trust in men to get thrown completely OUT the window now....If anyone thinks playing Mind or emotional games with ANYONE is funny then I am here to tell you ,ITS NOT....I really Loved James ,Still do and turned alot of myself around for him..sacrificed alot ..appparently Not enuf in his eyes...he sent me shoeboxes FULL of cards ,poems and letters and I have collect calls I have accepted for up to $ 105 a month addded on to my reg bill just so we could talk....I though he was different than the OTHERS who have weasled their way into my life , and hurt me ,But indeed he is not ..once again I was wrong to trust my heart..for obvious reasons I wont be posting pics for awhile and I pray you all understand....well hell Like James said ..'I'll probably just fall right back in love with somebody in oh ..maybe less than a week.....yeah right ...THAT was the Most HURTFUL thing he said to me...he 's getting a letter ,1 last 1 from me telling him exactly what I think about ppl Like him ,and if there's any justice in the world ,his parole will get denied again this year as well...I hope he has Fun celebrating his Birthday ALONE this Saturday....I could have and would have been there for him...now I am gonna concentrate on ME and my son...Noone else..

I am so sorry that you were hurt like that! As I was reading your post I was getting angry for you. Vent away, and know people here care. In time you may see that not all men are that way (there are a lot that are, but probably as many that aren't). Be true to yourself and your heart. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[midwestyankee]

Dream, I'm sorry this happened to you. Losing a love is painful stuff.

 

[shell seeker2]

Welcome, shell seeker2.

How long have you known this man? Are you still in the first stages of getting to know and care about one another? I'm guessing this is the case, but before I put my foot in my mouth I thought I should ask. My own answer to your question would depend on knowing this.

it of course is relatively new.... about 6 months. Believe me I was just in a good mood when I wrote that. My eyes aren't wearing blinders!

 

[midwestyankee]

it of course is relatively new.... about 6 months. Believe me I was just in a good mood when I wrote that. My eyes aren't wearing blinders!

Ah, I'm glad for you.

It's good when we know that the blinders are off our eyes and we are still entranced by what we see.

 

[tonitits]

Love does too Hurt ..it Hurts like HELL and I am here to prove it!!

Ya give your trust and your love to a man and he can still at ANYTIME mind you ,tell you that 'things change ,feelings change ,etc OR any 1 of Millions of more Excuses NOt to really Commit to you and FEAR is what causes all of it ,FEAR to REALLY love.....I have been hurt for the LAST damn time..hell all this hurting by men almost makes me wanna turn Bi ,LOL ..I said almost ..

heres what Broke my heart recently ....as recent as LAST NIGHT

My marvelous rest of the week was completely shattered last night when the man who SUPPOSEDLY loves me ,by his own profession said his feelings have changed...and to top it off ..3 days before my scheduled visit and he also put me down for talking to ppl online ( says there are some REAL WINNERS ) on here....which that much is true ..THERE ARE ..and at least my friends ONLINE werent dumb enuf to rob a bank and get themselves put in Prison ,LOL

I am sorry ,I am hurting really bad and a good friend recently told me not to air too much stuff online but I really DONt give a damn ,This is me ,its who I am..the same sweet and loving person you see online is also a sweet and loving mother and good friend Offline as well..no offense to any of you ,but this has caused my trust in men to get thrown completely OUT the window now....If anyone thinks playing Mind or emotional games with ANYONE is funny then I am here to tell you ,ITS NOT....I really Loved James ,Still do and turned alot of myself around for him..sacrificed alot ..appparently Not enuf in his eyes...he sent me shoeboxes FULL of cards ,poems and letters and I have collect calls I have accepted for up to $ 105 a month addded on to my reg bill just so we could talk....I though he was different than the OTHERS who have weasled their way into my life , and hurt me ,But indeed he is not ..once again I was wrong to trust my heart..for obvious reasons I wont be posting pics for awhile and I pray you all understand....well hell Like James said ..'I'll probably just fall right back in love with somebody in oh ..maybe less than a week.....yeah right ...THAT was the Most HURTFUL thing he said to me...he 's getting a letter ,1 last 1 from me telling him exactly what I think about ppl Like him ,and if there's any justice in the world ,his parole will get denied again this year as well...I hope he has Fun celebrating his Birthday ALONE this Saturday....I could have and would have been there for him...now I am gonna concentrate on ME and my son...Noone else..

Dream, I am sorry that this happened to you. Take a break, concentrate on healing your heart and taking care of your son at this time and then when things are better and you are ready, keep your heart open to opportunity to find a really great guy. There are some out there. But maybe you just have to look a little harder and see what the true man inside is like before giving your heart completely away to him. Like some of the others have stated vent away and know that you have friends here for you, even if it is just as a sounding board. ((((((((((Dream)))))))))))

 

[Nikkitta]

Huge hugs for Dream , Vent away and let it all out and as for the hurtfull things he said just typical for some man sure cant say all because there is some good ones out there . Some are just still convinced Love can be turned off and on like a Lightswitch . You yourself know who you are better then anyone else and thats what you have to concentrade on now .

 

[~Dream~]

I am so sorry that you were hurt like that! As I was reading your post I was getting angry for you. Vent away, and know people here care. In time you may see that not all men are that way (there are a lot that are, but probably as many that aren't). Be true to yourself and your heart. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

thanks shell but this was like the Virtual straw that broke the camels back ..I had too much time ,money and energy invested and Not to even mention ,my heart...NEVER again ..may God strike me dead if I EVER let a MAN talk me into trusting or loving him ..NOPE!!

 

[~Dream~]

Dream, I'm sorry this happened to you. Losing a love is painful stuff.

SO IS LOSING SOMETHING that wasnt REALLy there in the 1st place ...I think ppl that play mind or headd games should ALL be strung up ...

 

[~Dream~]

Dream, I am sorry that this happened to you. Take a break, concentrate on healing your heart and taking care of your son at this time and then when things are better and you are ready, keep your heart open to opportunity to find a really great guy. There are some out there. But maybe you just have to look a little harder and see what the true man inside is like before giving your heart completely away to him. Like some of the others have stated vent away and know that you have friends here for you, even if it is just as a sounding board. ((((((((((Dream)))))))))))

thanks Toni ..good advice hun...I am NOt gonna open my heart up to any more LOSERS tho...I deserve better!! I am a kind , caring and wonderful friend and have deep and abiding passion and to see someone just stomp the life right out of my heart is a fate i wouldnt ever wish on anyone...men should have the BALLS to tell a woman the TRUTH and NOT play sick ,psychotic lil games on them but alas, it has been my experience that they cant handle a real MATURE woman that does have a huge capacity to Love..they are too Fuckin AFRAID ..

 

[~Dream~]

Huge hugs for Dream , Vent away and let it all out and as for the hurtfull things he said just typical for some man sure cant say all because there is some good ones out there . Some are just still convinced Love can be turned off and on like a Lightswitch . You yourself know who you are better then anyone else and thats what you have to concentrade on now .

EXACTLY NIKKI ...PERFECT POINT ...

Feelings may indeed change but not fucking overnight !! and REAL LOVE CANt be turned off and on like a light switch!!! sounds like a great bumper sticker or t-shirt idea

 

[Wyldfire]

Love does too Hurt ..it Hurts like HELL and I am here to prove it!!

Ya give your trust and your love to a man and he can still at ANYTIME mind you ,tell you that 'things change ,feelings change ,etc OR any 1 of Millions of more Excuses NOt to really Commit to you and FEAR is what causes all of it ,FEAR to REALLY love.....I have been hurt for the LAST damn time..hell all this hurting by men almost makes me wanna turn Bi ,LOL ..I said almost ..

heres what Broke my heart recently ....as recent as LAST NIGHT

My marvelous rest of the week was completely shattered last night when the man who SUPPOSEDLY loves me ,by his own profession said his feelings have changed...and to top it off ..3 days before my scheduled visit and he also put me down for talking to ppl online ( says there are some REAL WINNERS ) on here....which that much is true ..THERE ARE ..and at least my friends ONLINE werent dumb enuf to rob a bank and get themselves put in Prison ,LOL

I am sorry ,I am hurting really bad and a good friend recently told me not to air too much stuff online but I really DONt give a damn ,This is me ,its who I am..the same sweet and loving person you see online is also a sweet and loving mother and good friend Offline as well..no offense to any of you ,but this has caused my trust in men to get thrown completely OUT the window now....If anyone thinks playing Mind or emotional games with ANYONE is funny then I am here to tell you ,ITS NOT....I really Loved James ,Still do and turned alot of myself around for him..sacrificed alot ..appparently Not enuf in his eyes...he sent me shoeboxes FULL of cards ,poems and letters and I have collect calls I have accepted for up to $ 105 a month addded on to my reg bill just so we could talk....I though he was different than the OTHERS who have weasled their way into my life , and hurt me ,But indeed he is not ..once again I was wrong to trust my heart..for obvious reasons I wont be posting pics for awhile and I pray you all understand....well hell Like James said ..'I'll probably just fall right back in love with somebody in oh ..maybe less than a week.....yeah right ...THAT was the Most HURTFUL thing he said to me...he 's getting a letter ,1 last 1 from me telling him exactly what I think about ppl Like him ,and if there's any justice in the world ,his parole will get denied again this year as well...I hope he has Fun celebrating his Birthday ALONE this Saturday....I could have and would have been there for him...now I am gonna concentrate on ME and my son...Noone else..

Dreamy sweetie, I'm really understandin how yer feelin seein as I'm watchin it from a different side. I have a guy friend tha's goin thru exactly th same thing yer goin thru. I wish I could ease BOTH a yer pain. But tha's somethin th botha ya are gonna have ta do on yer own. Sweetie, know tha I'm jus a PM away if ya need ta talk. I learned my lessons bout tryin ta be a yenta so yer safe from me tryin ta help ya by throwin another guy at ya.

Jus th reminder I wanted ta give. An th {{{{{HUGS}}}}} {COMFORT} an support fer a lady in pain.........

 

[shell seeker2]

Love does too Hurt ..it Hurts like HELL and I am here to prove it!!

Ya give your trust and your love to a man and he can still at ANYTIME mind you ,tell you that 'things change ,feelings change ,etc OR any 1 of Millions of more Excuses NOt to really Commit to you and FEAR is what causes all of it ,FEAR to REALLY love.....I have been hurt for the LAST damn time..hell all this hurting by men almost makes me wanna turn Bi ,LOL ..I said almost ..

heres what Broke my heart recently ....as recent as LAST NIGHT

My marvelous rest of the week was completely shattered last night when the man who SUPPOSEDLY loves me ,by his own profession said his feelings have changed...and to top it off ..3 days before my scheduled visit and he also put me down for talking to ppl online ( says there are some REAL WINNERS ) on here....which that much is true ..THERE ARE ..and at least my friends ONLINE werent dumb enuf to rob a bank and get themselves put in Prison ,LOL

I am sorry ,I am hurting really bad and a good friend recently told me not to air too much stuff online but I really DONt give a damn ,This is me ,its who I am..the same sweet and loving person you see online is also a sweet and loving mother and good friend Offline as well..no offense to any of you ,but this has caused my trust in men to get thrown completely OUT the window now....If anyone thinks playing Mind or emotional games with ANYONE is funny then I am here to tell you ,ITS NOT....I really Loved James ,Still do and turned alot of myself around for him..sacrificed alot ..appparently Not enuf in his eyes...he sent me shoeboxes FULL of cards ,poems and letters and I have collect calls I have accepted for up to $ 105 a month addded on to my reg bill just so we could talk....I though he was different than the OTHERS who have weasled their way into my life , and hurt me ,But indeed he is not ..once again I was wrong to trust my heart..for obvious reasons I wont be posting pics for awhile and I pray you all understand....well hell Like James said ..'I'll probably just fall right back in love with somebody in oh ..maybe less than a week.....yeah right ...THAT was the Most HURTFUL thing he said to me...he 's getting a letter ,1 last 1 from me telling him exactly what I think about ppl Like him ,and if there's any justice in the world ,his parole will get denied again this year as well...I hope he has Fun celebrating his Birthday ALONE this Saturday....I could have and would have been there for him...now I am gonna concentrate on ME and my son...Noone else..

Dream, I got angry for you after I read your post. That is absolutely horrible! You need to do something really nice for yourself like get a manicure or see a movie you've wanted to see. I know you are angry....I would be livid! There are lots of turds out there, but I still firmly believe that there are good guys out there. Now is a time for you to rely on your friends and to be true to yourself. Know that I'm thinking about you and you are in my prayers.

 

[Nikkitta]

EXACTLY NIKKI ...PERFECT POINT ...

Feelings may indeed change but not fucking overnight !! and REAL LOVE CANt be turned off and on like a light switch!!! sounds like a great bumper sticker or t-shirt idea

It bet one could be found lol or if not be made

 

[shell seeker2]

thanks shell but this was like the Virtual straw that broke the camels back ..I had too much time ,money and energy invested and Not to even mention ,my heart...NEVER again ..may God strike me dead if I EVER let a MAN talk me into trusting or loving him ..NOPE!!

I felt the same way at one point after 11+ years. I finally decided that I won't settle for anything less than I deserve. The heart is a very fragile thing and there is no one remedy that works. you need to do for YOU right now.

I think we need to make that bumper sticker.....I think you would see a lot of them as you were driving.

 

[midwestyankee]

I felt the same way at one point after 11+ years. I finally decided that I won't settle for anything less than I deserve. The heart is a very fragile thing and there is no one remedy that works. you need to do for YOU right now.

I think we need to make that bumper sticker.....I think you would see a lot of them as you were driving.

Not to make light of this situation....but I think Dream would look much better wearing the t-shirt than the bumper sticker.

 

[shell seeker2]

Ah, I'm glad for you.

It's good when we know that the blinders are off our eyes and we are still entranced by what we see.

however......I think he is absolutely an incredible person!

 

[midwestyankee]

however......I think he is absolutely an incredible person!

Then you are doubly blessed.

 

[~Dream~]

Dream, I got angry for you after I read your post. That is absolutely horrible! You need to do something really nice for yourself like get a manicure or see a movie you've wanted to see. I know you are angry....I would be livid! There are lots of turds out there, but I still firmly believe that there are good guys out there. Now is a time for you to rely on your friends and to be true to yourself. Know that I'm thinking about you and you are in my prayers.

Thanks shell sweety ..reading your and Nikki's and Yankee's post s give me hope in REAL humanity...thanks for trying to cheer me up and I bet yankee would want that to be a WET t-shirt as welll

 

[midwestyankee]

Thanks shell sweety ..reading your and Nikki's and Yankee's post s give me hope in REAL humanity...thanks for trying to cheer me up and I bet yankee would want that to be a WET t-shirt as welll

Not in this thread.

But in that other one? You betcha!

 

[~Dream~]

thanks for the posts everyone and I am sorry that some of you also have been hurt alot it seems ,seems like the ones who REALLY CARE are the ones who get shafted and the real BITCHES in this world get whatever they friggin want....well....

I am not changing who I am to please ANY man,I am me and thats all I can be...my feelings are real ,true and I am already showing James mercy by not showing up there to stomp a big mudhole in his ass ( and I bet the prison guards would let me too ,lol)

I know I will be ok cause I have a strong Friend and family support system Both On and Offline and because Good always Triumphs over Evil....My heart has been hurt bunches of times Before James and it eventually got patched over ...Now I will just learn to be ALOT more Choosy ,that's all....I still will NEVER judge someone based on their past or where they are living,its what's inside the heart that counts and what kind of person they really are...James was a good hider of that I guess ya could say but Dream is gonna become a Master Detective and also take some time For Just myself ..I dont really need a man in my life right now anyways...I can go pick 1 up at the local bar ..IF I so Choose ( and If I only wanted very cheap and fast one nite stands)..REAL MEN are alot harder to find...ones that accept women for more than just their bodies ,or monetary status...ones that accept my son ,my Soul and my mind and ever-loving full of passion heart>> THOSE are the ones I will be searching for ...someday...but I highly doubt there are many out there..ppl are too afraid to be who they really are anymore ..But not me...Fuck it!! I am who I am ..love me or leave me ..lol Noone said everyone had to like me

 

[shell seeker2]

Not to make light of this situation....but I think Dream would look much better wearing the t-shirt than the bumper sticker.

I agree!

 

[~Dream~]

I agree!

LOL and I think I'd look BEST without it

 

[shell seeker2]

thanks for the posts everyone and I am sorry that some of you also have been hurt alot it seems ,seems like the ones who REALLY CARE are the ones who get shafted and the real BITCHES in this world get whatever they friggin want....well....

I am not changing who I am to please ANY man,I am me and thats all I can be...my feelings are real ,true and I am already showing James mercy by not showing up there to stomp a big mudhole in his ass ( and I bet the prison guards would let me too ,lol)

THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL YOU SHOULD CHANGE WHO YOU ARE....ESPECIALLY FOR A MAN! It's one thing to change for yourself, but men come and go as us members of the broken heart club can attest.

There is no doubt in my mind that in time you will find someone who will love you for you, your soul, your spirit, and your inner beauty. For a long time (even though I was in a relationship for 11+ years, by 8 in my subconscious I knew it wa over) I had lost myself. His world had become my world. I allowed some of my true feelings to be hidden and abandoned because I had been swallowed up in him.
Then I moved on, on my own, and realized who I really was, and what I really wanted. I'm still scared to death to give my heart to someone else, but I am finding it easier everyday, because of who I am with now. There are turds out there, but there are some really good guys who have figured out what they want in life and how to treat women. Don't give up for those lucky guys, but don't give up yourself either. I made that mistake once, and it's not one I plan on repeating either. I'm really hoping that today is a better day for you, Dream.

 

[~Dream~]

THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL YOU SHOULD CHANGE WHO YOU ARE....ESPECIALLY FOR A MAN! It's one thing to change for yourself, but men come and go as us members of the broken heart club can attest.

There is no doubt in my mind that in time you will find someone who will love you for you, your soul, your spirit, and your inner beauty. For a long time (even though I was in a relationship for 11+ years, by 8 in my subconscious I knew it wa over) I had lost myself. His world had become my world. I allowed some of my true feelings to be hidden and abandoned because I had been swallowed up in him.
Then I moved on, on my own, and realized who I really was, and what I really wanted. I'm still scared to death to give my heart to someone else, but I am finding it easier everyday, because of who I am with now. There are turds out there, but there are some really good guys who have figured out what they want in life and how to treat women. Don't give up for those lucky guys, but don't give up yourself either. I made that mistake once, and it's not one I plan on repeating either. I'm really hoping that today is a better day for you, Dream.

I can already tell that you are a kind and compassionate Soul, shell and many good things are destined to come your way ..
I was in a hellish marriage of 6 yrs and 3 of it was physically abusive...i stayed in for my kids ..I had 3 by this man..he was in the navy then and we were stationed in Japan ,far away from home,he put me thru hell literally but I was a young ,naive wife...who thought back then that LOVE was all about having babies and being good in the kitchen ,lol which I still have alot to learn about...

I have had men de mean me verbally , beat the crap out of me physically , and put me down mentally but I can honestly say that the worse hurt is emotional abuse like I suffered from James...it was really hard for me to Trust again and open myself up ,but I took the chance cause I felt SAFE with him,and he seemed to have alot In common with me, both of us coming from dysfunctional families and all...I grew to love him as a friend 1st and foremost and then it became stronger and just this past Mother's Day he told me he was fallin in love with me...I was so happy ..THEN ..now 2 mo's later who knows what changed him ?? I really think it's fear ....he didnt want to see me leave again after the Visit ,however he was begging me to come see him so he could hold me once again and kiss me...I really wish he would have spoke his TRUE feelings a week ago so I wouldnt have purchased the non -refundable bus ticket as well


anyways I am off to the dr soon to get my corrective shoes re-adjusted so I'll bbl ..maybe take care all