Defining Love

[Shoshisexy]

*ironic laugh* It is a good thing I posted then, when I was in a good mood. If I posted a response now...it would not be pretty.

 

[midwestyankee]

*ironic laugh* It is a good thing I posted then, when I was in a good mood. If I posted a response now...it would not be pretty.

Sometimes what we think of as "the truth" changes from moment to moment in tune with our moods and experiences. A gesture that seems loving under candle light might, in fact, appear quite different the next morning. I've been there and have several tee shirts to prove it.

Another example comes to mind. I am certain that six months ago I would not have believed that I could be sympathetic with a close friend who is having an affair. And yet I find that I am for reasons I believe are good ones.

We change, life helps us change, and our ideas and beliefs change with us unless we are so rigid that we refuse to live life as it presents itself to us.

 

[mayi]

a lurker

who has been enjoying this thread. all have good points and all have their own understanding of a very difficult word. it is okay to say it to others and it is okay to feel it differently towards others. only you can say how deep the feelings are and to what level you care to take them. I love many people i have met on lit mostly for what they are willing to share with me from their personal lives. how can you deny them the feelings of love. but for me at this time in my life, the truest and deepest feelings of love are for my children. I know that everything i give them willingly today, will be rewarded a hundred fold tomorrow. with that thought i will finish with this one, true deep love is beyond sex and physical attraction. true deep love is what you give to another, not expecting a return. yes loving and tending to yourself is the first step, that in it's self will bring returns unexpected.

i hope you all continue posting, it is all insightful.

 

[midwestyankee]

Re: a lurker

who has been enjoying this thread. all have good points and all have their own understanding of a very difficult word. it is okay to say it to others and it is okay to feel it differently towards others. only you can say how deep the feelings are and to what level you care to take them. I love many people i have met on lit mostly for what they are willing to share with me from their personal lives. how can you deny them the feelings of love. but for me at this time in my life, the truest and deepest feelings of love are for my children. I know that everything i give them willingly today, will be rewarded a hundred fold tomorrow. with that thought i will finish with this one, true deep love is beyond sex and physical attraction. true deep love is what you give to another, not expecting a return. yes loving and tending to yourself is the first step, that in it's self will bring returns unexpected.

i hope you all continue posting, it is all insightful.

Thank you, mayi, for the compliment and for your own insights, freely shared.

I tend to agree with you that sex and physical attraction make up only a small part of romantic love (as opposed to the familial love we have for our children, siblings, parents, etc.). But in most cases it is a necessary component. Giving without the expectation of return, or unconditional giving, is indeed another essential element. Most of us learn that from our mothers, I think, so we have much for which to thank them.

 

[Shoshisexy]

I agree with MY here. Physical attractiveness and lust is an essential component to loving and being in love...As is the unconditionality of it.

When I say unconditional, I do not mean blind. My example here is my own brother, whom I love dearly. I do not see him, however. He abused me mentally, physically, and emotionally until I was 21. I do not like what he does and I fear him. For those reasons I will never see him again. Even if he changed the things he does and became a new person, I still would not see him. Not for my sake, but for his. In the unconditionality of my love, I would not want him to be hurt by seeing fear in my eyes. Since I know that fear has become a part of me, I will never see him again.

This hurts me more than I can say. But life hurts. Love hurts. However, I do NOT want to become a bitter, hateful person, so I continue to extend my hands in friendship and love. Yes, I get hurt at times--quite often, actually--but I also learn and so does the other person. I make an impression on that person and affect them in some way, whether they are aware of it or not.

I see love all around me every day in what the Creator has gifted us with. My Stepfather said this morning that we have a well of love to give. If it is not returned, then eventually, the well will go dry. I do not subscribe to this theory. I am firmly of the belief that the love I have to give comes frome an ever-flowing spring. I will always have love to give, returned or not. Only if I cut off that spring, does my love stop.

My Stepfather brought up an interesting point here and one that hasn't been brought up in this thread. I say the Creator (I do not wish to offend, one may call it nature, G-d, Allah, the supernatural...whatever one likes) has gifted me with this wellspring of love which I give from. He said there is a difference between spiritual love and human love.

I disagree. I believe that all love is spiritual if freely given and without expectations.

Sooooo...what fo y'all think?

 

[diamondjim]

I find there are all degrees of Love....

I love my Mother and children...

I love my friends....

I love my dog....

I love sunny days....

But to Love...Love??? I don't know if I can answer that. All I can give you is what I want Love to be.

Love to me is looking into someones eyes and finding their soul. Their Kiss tells you how they feel and you can express how you feel with a kiss. Love shouldn't hurt. You should be able to talk freely and express yourself. Respect is part of Love. Caring is part of Love. Passion is also a part of Love and a big one. Having Passion during your Love making is part of Love. Being able to Feel the person your with even when your not with them is Love. Love should give you the feeling that you could never be without them in your Life.

Now I too am babbling....

So, if I read this right you are in love with ME, Neat!
Kiss
Jim

 

[diamondjim]

hold you tight

I agree with MY here. Physical attractiveness and lust is an essential component to loving and being in love...As is the unconditionality of it.

When I say unconditional, I do not mean blind. My example here is my own brother, whom I love dearly. I do not see him, however. He abused me mentally, physically, and emotionally until I was 21. I do not like what he does and I fear him. For those reasons I will never see him again. Even if he changed the things he does and became a new person, I still would not see him. Not for my sake, but for his. In the unconditionality of my love, I would not want him to be hurt by seeing fear in my eyes. Since I know that fear has become a part of me, I will never see him again.

This hurts me more than I can say. But life hurts. Love hurts. However, I do NOT want to become a bitter, hateful person, so I continue to extend my hands in friendship and love. Yes, I get hurt at times--quite often, actually--but I also learn and so does the other person. I make an impression on that person and affect them in some way, whether they are aware of it or not.

I see love all around me every day in what the Creator has gifted us with. My Stepfather said this morning that we have a well of love to give. If it is not returned, then eventually, the well will go dry. I do not subscribe to this theory. I am firmly of the belief that the love I have to give comes frome an ever-flowing spring. I will always have love to give, returned or not. Only if I cut off that spring, does my love stop.

My Stepfather brought up an interesting point here and one that hasn't been brought up in this thread. I say the Creator (I do not wish to offend, one may call it nature, G-d, Allah, the supernatural...whatever one likes) has gifted me with this wellspring of love which I give from. He said there is a difference between spiritual love and human love.

I disagree. I believe that all love is spiritual if freely given and without expectations.

Sooooo...what fo y'all think?

First off I just want to wrap you up close and hold you tight
Then I want to send someone with a big stick to visit your brother and inflict a little fear into his eyes. Step-dad should keep his bable to himself.

Romance is an enabler for love, romance and sex can keep the love in flame (not some burning ember that is a pale shadow of the love that was). But you have to be open to love.. Sexy was close in the uniting of souls. If you do not let yourslef care about something that will hurt you if lost, then you can not love. We value only those things that we would miss if they were gone. Love is that ultimate "thing' that when valued is missed when lost. I would offer that Love does not have to hurt to be of value but it has to be missed. By extension A trmendous Love, (love of your children, the love of that soul mate ) has to create a yearning beyond reproach when lost. That is why parents never want to outlive their children and why elderly couples, who have lived all their lives together, pass with months of each other.

For me, I do not ever want to be without the desire of Love, without spending the time and attention for romance that could blossom into a great love (even if the two people can never be truly together).
Jim

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by Shoshisexy
I agree with MY here. Physical attractiveness and lust is an essential component to loving and being in love...As is the unconditionality of it.

When I say unconditional, I do not mean blind. My example here is my own brother, whom I love dearly. I do not see him, however. He abused me mentally, physically, and emotionally until I was 21. I do not like what he does and I fear him. For those reasons I will never see him again. Even if he changed the things he does and became a new person, I still would not see him. Not for my sake, but for his. In the unconditionality of my love, I would not want him to be hurt by seeing fear in my eyes. Since I know that fear has become a part of me, I will never see him again.

This hurts me more than I can say. But life hurts. Love hurts. However, I do NOT want to become a bitter, hateful person, so I continue to extend my hands in friendship and love. Yes, I get hurt at times--quite often, actually--but I also learn and so does the other person. I make an impression on that person and affect them in some way, whether they are aware of it or not.

I see love all around me every day in what the Creator has gifted us with. My Stepfather said this morning that we have a well of love to give. If it is not returned, then eventually, the well will go dry. I do not subscribe to this theory. I am firmly of the belief that the love I have to give comes frome an ever-flowing spring. I will always have love to give, returned or not. Only if I cut off that spring, does my love stop.

My Stepfather brought up an interesting point here and one that hasn't been brought up in this thread. I say the Creator (I do not wish to offend, one may call it nature, G-d, Allah, the supernatural...whatever one likes) has gifted me with this wellspring of love which I give from. He said there is a difference between spiritual love and human love.

I disagree. I believe that all love is spiritual if freely given and without expectations.

Sooooo...what fo y'all think?

What I think is that I don't know you but you sound like an amazing person ((hug))

 

[midwestyankee]

What I think is that I don't know you but you sound like an amazing person ((hug))

There just isn't a better way to put it, WW.

Shoshi, I agree with WW here. What you are doing is just amazing.

 

[Ammo44]

MWY,

Questions I have ..........can you be addicted to love???....

Do you love more than one person.......or who do you TRULY love?

Hard questions...may need hard answers.........tough ones for me.

 

[midwestyankee]

MWY,

Questions I have ..........can you be addicted to love???....

Do you love more than one person.......or who do you TRULY love?

Hard questions...may need hard answers.........tough ones for me.

Ammo, these are indeed excellent questions, ones that demand some thought.

I hope that regular contributors to this thread will take some time to address them, as I will.

Thanks for adding to our discussion, friend.

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by Ammo44
MWY,

Questions I have ..........can you be addicted to love???....

Do you love more than one person.......or who do you TRULY love?

Hard questions...may need hard answers.........tough ones for me.

Can you be addicted to love? The question makes me think of those who continually search for that first rush of love and when it fades they go looking for the next rush. Not sure if that's what you meant...


Love more than one person at the same time...romantically...yes I think you can...I just don't think our monogamous culture makes it easy to actually live out though.

 

[mayi]

MWY,

Questions I have ..........can you be addicted to love???....

Do you love more than one person.......or who do you TRULY love?

Hard questions...may need hard answers.........tough ones for me.

Ammo, yes you can be addicted to love. I know, I have been there. As with all addiction, it is not healthy and will cause more harm the good. The reason is based on not loving yourself, thus the way out is learning to love number one, before adding number two.

As for your other quesitons, only you can answer those, but do it when you have a clean heart.

 

[diamondjim]

Re: Mom's response....

Hello Lady Adina:
Your daughter is a sweet heart
Jim

MY, This is LadyAdina Shoshisexy's mom. I have read this thread and found it facinating in many ways. I am surprised at how many people realize there is love and there is LOVE.

The best example of total love I can give is my own parents. In the 54 years they were married, my dad had to take care of Mom for the last 8. Each year she became weaker and more dependent, so that by the 3rd year she was wheelchair bound and had to wear Oxygen 24/7. That man, my dad, never left her side, put her in the hospital (nursing type) but took care of her, even though he had had a quadruple by-pass a few years before. This continued even through the last days. She was embarrassed to have us stay with them because of her inability to get to the bathroom quickly and the like but we stayed nearby for about 10 days. The total devotion I saw in my dad is something I can only hope to give to my husband over the years. I have no problem believing he will be just as devoted as my dad.

Love is a word that is easily said and easily tossed around. When you have the feeling for someone that is more than the word can describe and truly feel complete, grab a hold and never, never let go. THAT IS LOVE.
Thanks for listening,
Lady Adina

 

[midwestyankee]

Re: Re: Mom's response....

Hello Lady Adina:
Your daughter is a sweet heart
Jim

Jim, you have that right. She really has opened up her heart on this thread, which took a lot of courage.

 

[midwestyankee]

MWY,

Questions I have ..........can you be addicted to love???....

Do you love more than one person.......or who do you TRULY love?

Hard questions...may need hard answers.........tough ones for me.

Answers I have:

Yes, I think it's quite possible to be addicted to love. You see it in people who flit from romance to romance without ever settling down. They get off on the high of the first flush of falling in love. But that first flush fades eventually and if they cannot commit themselves to something deeper, they move on to seek the rush again elsewhere.

Now, as for your second question, I have a problem with an underlying assumption here. You seem to be starting with the belief that "true love" is, by definition, exclusive. I can't agree, in part because I am not sure exactly what you mean by "true love" and second because I can't buy the idea that love has to be exclusive.

So let me put the ball back in your court, Ammo. What do you mean by true love? And am I correct in concluding that you see true love as exclusive?

 

[Shoshisexy]

*BLUSHES*

First, thank you all for the kind compliments and comments. I have but tried to explain what I feel and understand, whether that be but a spark in the night or a bare acorn sprouting.

Someone I love has rejected that love again. The sad part is...he -needs- it right now. Not a romantic love, but the love a true friend has for another. His mother passed away and he is hurting and confused. All I wish to do is hold him and look into his eyes so -they- could speak the words his mouth cannot, relieving him of some of his burden of grief. He will not accept this from me. He makes plans with me and then stands me up instead. Which hurts. But right now...I feel worse for him. He is living in a cold and unfriendly place.

I think something we have but barely touched upon is the refusal or rejection of love. I think that effects a person far more than giving it and having it refused...I think rejecting love causes intense pain in the person doing it. I also believe they only do it out of intense pain themselves.

So there it is.



Shoshana

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by Shoshisexy
*BLUSHES*

First, thank you all for the kind compliments and comments. I have but tried to explain what I feel and understand, whether that be but a spark in the night or a bare acorn sprouting.

Someone I love has rejected that love again. The sad part is...he -needs- it right now. Not a romantic love, but the love a true friend has for another. His mother passed away and he is hurting and confused. All I wish to do is hold him and look into his eyes so -they- could speak the words his mouth cannot, relieving him of some of his burden of grief. He will not accept this from me. He makes plans with me and then stands me up instead. Which hurts. But right now...I feel worse for him. He is living in a cold and unfriendly place.

I think something we have but barely touched upon is the refusal or rejection of love. I think that effects a person far more than giving it and having it refused...I think rejecting love causes intense pain in the person doing it. I also believe they only do it out of intense pain themselves.

So there it is.



Shoshana

ah now refusing or rejecting love...I can speak to that...but let me comment on your comments about your friend first. My condolences to your friend on his mother's death. I know how gut wrenching that can be. I can't speak for your friend personally but I have a number of friends..mostly men...who have a need to go into themselves to deal with their hurts before they are able to share their thoughts and emotions with others. It's not completely foreign to me...I do it too sometimes...and yet I still want to reach out to them and console and help in the way I would want to be consoled...but I don't...I've learned to respect that they know what they need better than I do and that I need to respect our differences. No I don't just back off completely...I make sure they know I care and I'm available when they're comfortable sharing with me... I'll give them a hug...and then I'll let them go off on their own...popping in to say hi ocassionally, maybe not even metioning what's bothering them but clearly making myself available in case they are ready.

I'm sure he doesn't mean to hurt you by cancelling out...it's probably just too hard for him...and he needs to look after himself now. All we can do is offer...we can't force them to accept...hopefully he knows what's right for him and in his own time he'll come out of it and back to you.

Now let me go off and think about what I want to say about refusing/rejecting love.

 

[midwestyankee]

ah now refusing or rejecting love...I can speak to that...but let me comment on your comments about your friend first. My condolences to your friend on his mother's death. I know how gut wrenching that can be. I can't speak for your friend personally but I have a number of friends..mostly men...who have a need to go into themselves to deal with their hurts before they are able to share their thoughts and emotions with others. It's not completely foreign to me...I do it too sometimes...and yet I still want to reach out to them and console and help in the way I would want to be consoled...but I don't...I've learned to respect that they know what they need better than I do and that I need to respect our differences. No I don't just back off completely...I make sure they know I care and I'm available when they're comfortable sharing with me... I'll give them a hug...and then I'll let them go off on their own...popping in to say hi ocassionally, maybe not even metioning what's bothering them but clearly making myself available in case they are ready.

I'm sure he doesn't mean to hurt you by cancelling out...it's probably just too hard for him...and he needs to look after himself now. All we can do is offer...we can't force them to accept...hopefully he knows what's right for him and in his own time he'll come out of it and back to you.

Now let me go off and think about what I want to say about refusing/rejecting love.

Beautifully and caringly put, WW.

 

[EarthquakeMan]

Some thread food – random questions, opinions, observations, and a bit of the devil’s advocate . . .


For more post people, love comes saddled with sexual jealousy. This is illogical, yet ubiquitous. Is insecurity the main cause of sexual jealousy? Or has our society made sex “dirty”, and in order to clean it up sex must be accompanied by love, or made synonymous with love. (Walker Percy touches on this in several of his novels).

Kurt Vonnegut was asked why he never writes of love. He says it’s because readers are suckers for love, and as soon as love is fulfilled in a novel the story is over for the reader, regardless of whether or not the author is finished. He is also suspicious of the whole concept of love and believes that “mutual respect” may be the most intimate bond two people can share.

Infatuation is thrilling. But is it an early stage of love, or just infatuation? Must we define it as an early stage of love in order to give it weight and legitimacy, unwilling to accept it as simple, honest, and delightful infatuation?

Similarly, how often is lust eagerly defined as love? For some, whether they might admit it or not, lust is laden with guilt. But love! Love is a glorious thing! Do some convince themselves that lust is love in order to lust with a clear conscience?

“Love” gets thrown around like confetti on Lit, deflating it’s value. (On a similar note, the word “friends” gets plenty of use, too. We all have a different definition of friendship, but for me someone I’ve exchanged some PMs with or posted with is an acquaintance, not necessarily a friend. True friendship involves much more, but then that’s another thread altogether )

For some on Lit, the quest for “love” seems so desperate that it saddens me.

We are inundated from childhood with a simple message: that love conquers all; that true happiness is found only in love; that everything is secondary to love. This is the message of popular culture (books, movies, songs, advertisements). How could any child grow up with such a pervasive message and not believe it. But is it true? Look around. How many instances in the real world do you observe where love actually does conquer all? Have we been brainwashed into believing a fairy tale?

Is there such a thing as truly unconditional (romantic) love?

 

[STUDDOG]

Some thread food – random questions, opinions, observations, and a bit of the devil’s advocate . . .


For more post people, love comes saddled with sexual jealousy. This is illogical, yet ubiquitous. Is insecurity the main cause of sexual jealousy? Or has our society made sex “dirty”, and in order to clean it up sex must be accompanied by love, or made synonymous with love. (Walker Percy touches on this in several of his novels).

Kurt Vonnegut was asked why he never writes of love. He says it’s because readers are suckers for love, and as soon as love is fulfilled in a novel the story is over for the reader, regardless of whether or not the author is finished. He is also suspicious of the whole concept of love and believes that “mutual respect” may be the most intimate bond two people can share.

Infatuation is thrilling. But is it an early stage of love, or just infatuation? Must we define it as an early stage of love in order to give it weight and legitimacy, unwilling to accept it as simple, honest, and delightful infatuation?

Similarly, how often is lust eagerly defined as love? For some, whether they might admit it or not, lust is laden with guilt. But love! Love is a glorious thing! Do some convince themselves that lust is love in order to lust with a clear conscience?

“Love” gets thrown around like confetti on Lit, deflating it’s value. (On a similar note, the word “friends” gets plenty of use, too. We all have a different definition of friendship, but for me someone I’ve exchanged some PMs with or posted with is an acquaintance, not necessarily a friend. True friendship involves much more, but then that’s another thread altogether )

For some on Lit, the quest for “love” seems so desperate that it saddens me.

We are inundated from childhood with a simple message: that love conquers all; that true happiness is found only in love; that everything is secondary to love. This is the message of popular culture (books, movies, songs, advertisements). How could any child grow up with such a pervasive message and not believe it. But is it true? Look around. How many instances in the real world do you observe where love actually does conquer all? Have we been brainwashed into believing a fairy tale?

Is there such a thing as truly unconditional (romantic) love?

I on some points agree michael....I also agree that the word love is over used, which in some cases can lead to people being hurt and feeling a lose. I find the concept of love very hard to handle on Lit ....except in a few cases where people actually have met and married because of true love. I also believe that people aren't honest in most parts of their lives here....and actually who they are.....that in it's self is sad and can also lead to some people being hurt through deception. I know as well as you that we can't change these things....we can only change ourselves.

 

[Ammo44]

I on some points agree michael....I also agree that the word love is over used, which in some cases can lead to people being hurt and feeling a lose. I find the concept of love very hard to handle on Lit ....except in a few cases where people actually have met and married because of true love. I also believe that people aren't honest in most parts of their lives here....and actually who they are.....that in it's self is sad and can also lead to some people being hurt through deception. I know as welll as you that we can't change these things....we can only change ourselves.

Gentlemen, you 2 could not have said it more eloquently.......your points are excellent......and I am in agreement with. Michael and Stud.....well done.

 

[mayi]

okay guys, i have to ask............why is it wrong to express love for someone? what is wrong with telling someone that they have reached deep in your heart and left a mark? what is wrong with expressing a feeling that in truth is not scary at all?

i agree love and lust and infatuation are not the same. but i don't agree that expressing your true feelings for someone is wrong. there are many lonely people in the world and they have done nothing wrong to be lonely, except sell themselves short.

i also think that it is okay if i have deep feelings for someone and they don't feel the same..........we all are not the same person. be greatful for what they have given you, cherish it and learn from it.

opening your heart is a glorious thing anytime.

 

[Peteslaw2]

okay guys, i have to ask............why is it wrong to express love for someone? what is wrong with telling someone that they have reached deep in your heart and left a mark? what is wrong with expressing a feeling that in truth is not scary at all?

i agree love and lust and infatuation are not the same. but i don't agree that expressing your true feelings for someone is wrong. there are many lonely people in the world and they have done nothing wrong to be lonely, except sell themselves short.

i also think that it is okay if i have deep feelings for someone and they don't feel the same..........we all are not the same person. be greatful for what they have given you, cherish it and learn from it.

opening your heart is a glorious thing anytime.

nothin rong with that, mayi, u got it right

 

[midwestyankee]

Some thread food – random questions, opinions, observations, and a bit of the devil’s advocate . . .


For more post people, love comes saddled with sexual jealousy. This is illogical, yet ubiquitous. Is insecurity the main cause of sexual jealousy? Or has our society made sex “dirty”, and in order to clean it up sex must be accompanied by love, or made synonymous with love. (Walker Percy touches on this in several of his novels).

Kurt Vonnegut was asked why he never writes of love. He says it’s because readers are suckers for love, and as soon as love is fulfilled in a novel the story is over for the reader, regardless of whether or not the author is finished. He is also suspicious of the whole concept of love and believes that “mutual respect” may be the most intimate bond two people can share.

Infatuation is thrilling. But is it an early stage of love, or just infatuation? Must we define it as an early stage of love in order to give it weight and legitimacy, unwilling to accept it as simple, honest, and delightful infatuation?

Similarly, how often is lust eagerly defined as love? For some, whether they might admit it or not, lust is laden with guilt. But love! Love is a glorious thing! Do some convince themselves that lust is love in order to lust with a clear conscience?

“Love” gets thrown around like confetti on Lit, deflating it’s value. (On a similar note, the word “friends” gets plenty of use, too. We all have a different definition of friendship, but for me someone I’ve exchanged some PMs with or posted with is an acquaintance, not necessarily a friend. True friendship involves much more, but then that’s another thread altogether )

For some on Lit, the quest for “love” seems so desperate that it saddens me.

We are inundated from childhood with a simple message: that love conquers all; that true happiness is found only in love; that everything is secondary to love. This is the message of popular culture (books, movies, songs, advertisements). How could any child grow up with such a pervasive message and not believe it. But is it true? Look around. How many instances in the real world do you observe where love actually does conquer all? Have we been brainwashed into believing a fairy tale?

Is there such a thing as truly unconditional (romantic) love?

Welcome to the thread, and thanks for the contribution.

I tend to agree that insecurity is a necessary condition for jealousy. If one is truly secure in a relationship, then that relationship should feel capable of withstanding any "intrusion." And I have no argument that western society has held sex in a "dirty" role for centuries, with various consequences.

I tend to see infatuation as a precursor to love, not an early stage of it. It precedes the stage of falling in love, which is also a rather self-centered stage. When we are infatuated with someone, or just falling in love with a new beloved, we define the experience by how the new beloved makes us feel. We are not yet capable in this state of selflessly committing ourselves to him or to her. For adults, these states of infatuation and falling in love tend to be lustful. They are driven by sexual attraction.

Sexual attraction, it seems to me, is simply another way to say "lust." When we start to want more than a one-night stand and look forward to seeing the other person again, then perhaps it becomes infatuation or even falling in love. But they are all rooted in sexual attraction.

I agree wholeheartedly that the word "love' is badly misused in our society. And the list of culprits where we could lay the blame is long and distinguished. But the end result is wide confusion and a society full of bad marriages made during the falling in love stage and before the couple discovers an inner need to commit to the other person, to extend themselves in service to the beloved.

All the mixed messages spread in our society have create such trouble. And the ones surrounding the word "love" are at the head of the list in my view.