Defining Love

[jazey_43]

*smiles*

Morning MWY........*huuuuuuuuugs*

Good to see you again hon, I've come a lookin for a serious thread....lol...know where I can find one?...*smiles*

 

[MT_Pitcher]

Well, maybe I have been sent by the Literotica Gods to make the next something happen?

I have not known true love- in a romantic way- ever. Anyone prepared/knowlegeable to tell me what it feels like?

And also- is it possible for someone that has put themselves into such a protective shell to recognise these symptoms of a true love coming on?
I know I am making it sound like a common cold or flu...sorry...

I don't think there's anything common about it, even if it does act like something you can catch sometimes.
I know all about that shell, having lived with it for many years. Some of that was for protection and some for what is part of our nature, that element of control. I think for true love to appear, it has to be an all or nothing thing. We have to give up that protection and be open to the risk involved. And we have to be willing to give up some of that control too and accept the other as an equal. I don't mean changing yours or my nature but just be willing to share. Love means needing someone else. But both have to need each other.
Sometimes it begins with a mere crack in the shell. You just have to be willing not cement it right up.
Hope that helps a little..
Still working on that crack in the shell too.
And hoping for you to find it

 

[MissIntrigue]

I'm not trying to bicker- I have a lil problem with "love means needing someone else" part. I haven't needed anyone up to this point in my life. No one of the people I ever was with had something that I 'needed' from them. I may want to add someone to my life... but 'need'...whoa that's a profoundly strong word.
I have given to myself everything that I need. I need me. I can rely on me, I give me security, those are my needs met.

I cannot expect that from anyone unless a true love was found between us and then we became married and maybe then, I might feel a need FOR what they have to offer me. But needing someone is a co dependent thing for me- in my eyes. I don't want to piss anyone off- what I say is not written in stone or blood. But it's my opinion and how I view it. I figure if someone wants to join worlds together- then lets rock...together of course, and add to each others worlds. I am not sure I am willing to 'need someone', I kind of like doing things how I do them, and maybe it's why I am still lone...by choice of course!

 

[MissIntrigue]

I forgot to say that I have little cracks in my shell..it's a special person to make them bigger...I have always carried hope in my shell with me- even when I was surely desiring death in my life. I am not sure ifit will ever happen for me, if it does well hoorah! But the cracks are present and accounted for...

 

[MT_Pitcher]

I'm not trying to bicker- I have a lil problem with "love means needing someone else" part. I haven't needed anyone up to this point in my life. No one of the people I ever was with had something that I 'needed' from them. I may want to add someone to my life... but 'need'...whoa that's a profoundly strong word.
I have given to myself everything that I need. I need me. I can rely on me, I give me security, those are my needs met.

I cannot expect that from anyone unless a true love was found between us and then we became married and maybe then, I might feel a need FOR what they have to offer me. But needing someone is a co dependent thing for me- in my eyes. I don't want to piss anyone off- what I say is not written in stone or blood. But it's my opinion and how I view it. I figure if someone wants to join worlds together- then lets rock...together of course, and add to each others worlds. I am not sure I am willing to 'need someone', I kind of like doing things how I do them, and maybe it's why I am still lone...by choice of course!

I'm not saying anything about that need unless for a true love.
And everybody has their own opinion and you can't piss me off. It's an opinion of mine. You have yours. And you're right, need is a VERY strong word. I've never felt it. I need my space more than other people. But in my opinion that may be part of what holds us back and seals those cracks.

 

[MissIntrigue]

Originally posted by MT_Pitcher
I'm not saying anything about that need unless for a true love.
And everybody has their own opinion and you can't piss me off. It's an opinion of mine. You have yours. And you're right, need is a VERY strong word. I've never felt it. I need my space more than other people. But in my opinion that may be part of what holds us back and seals those cracks.

It may be what holds us back- the cracks- but I maybe misunderstood your meaning to them? I was stating that I have them too but more for someone to get in rather than trying to cement them closed. I don't want to cement mine closed- the person I have been waiting for may not be able to get in if I seal the wrong one.

I need my space to be me otherwise I will not be the person that attracted to me. I would hate to think my growth getting stifled by someone crunching on me. I've been there. It won't happen again. I wish for the person I desire to desire and promote growth, for the keeping things fresh of course. I hate staleness.

 

[midwestyankee]

Just a quick thought to add to this discussion before I move on to some R/L concerns: I don't like seeing people use the term "need" as part of a definition of love because that is a self-centered term and I tend to think of love as a verb. Thus loving is something I do to and for someone else and has little to do with need.

That said, I think that love has its roots in a powerful attraction that may well be inexplicable to those who are in it. Some might describe this attraction as a sort of need - indeed, poets used to do so quite often - but it's not a need. It's the sort of thing that two chemicals have for one another that allows them, when combined, to create something greater than the sum of their parts. It's the sort of thing that enables you to look at your beloved from across a room, note all his imperfections, and still say to yourself, when I see him my soul is warmed by his beauty.

 

[midwestyankee]

Re: *smiles*

Morning MWY........*huuuuuuuuugs*

Good to see you again hon, I've come a lookin for a serious thread....lol...know where I can find one?...*smiles*

Good morning, Jazey. Welcome. I do believe you know where to find a serious thread when you go looking.

 

[MT_Pitcher]

It may be what holds us back- the cracks- but I maybe misunderstood your meaning to them? I was stating that I have them too but more for someone to get in rather than trying to cement them closed. I don't want to cement mine closed- the person I have been waiting for may not be able to get in if I seal the wrong one.

I need my space to be me otherwise I will not be the person that attracted to me. I would hate to think my growth getting stifled by someone crunching on me. I've been there. It won't happen again. I wish for the person I desire to desire and promote growth, for the keeping things fresh of course. I hate staleness.

I guess I'm not very clear today.
Those cracks are for someone to get in. Something inside me has kept closing em up before. I don't really want it too, but it happens and I pull back. Guess I need those cracks kicked open a little like someone has begun to do.
I need my space too. Right now... too much of it!
I also have to learn to share it a lot more. Not all of it, but more.
Right now I like Lit, more than almost any person.
Fresh and new and fun .......... GREAT!!!
And better when two people are thinking of it....

 

[MissIntrigue]

Originally posted by midwestyankee
Just a quick thought to add to this discussion before I move on to some R/L concerns: I don't like seeing people use the term "need" as part of a definition of love because that is a self-centered term and I tend to think of love as a verb. Thus loving is something I do to and for someone else and has little to do with need.

That said, I think that love has its roots in a powerful attraction that may well be inexplicable to those who are in it. Some might describe this attraction as a sort of need - indeed, poets used to do so quite often - but it's not a need. It's the sort of thing that two chemicals have for one another that allows them, when combined, to create something greater than the sum of their parts. It's the sort of thing that enables you to look at your beloved from across a room, note all his imperfections, and still say to yourself, when I see him my soul is warmed by his beauty.

Amen...this is what I want out of love.

 

[MT_Pitcher]

Just a quick thought to add to this discussion before I move on to some R/L concerns: I don't like seeing people use the term "need" as part of a definition of love because that is a self-centered term and I tend to think of love as a verb. Thus loving is something I do to and for someone else and has little to do with need.

That said, I think that love has its roots in a powerful attraction that may well be inexplicable to those who are in it. Some might describe this attraction as a sort of need - indeed, poets used to do so quite often - but it's not a need. It's the sort of thing that two chemicals have for one another that allows them, when combined, to create something greater than the sum of their parts. It's the sort of thing that enables you to look at your beloved from across a room, note all his imperfections, and still say to yourself, when I see him my soul is warmed by his beauty.

As usual, so much better than my explanation.
The need I was trying (badly) to express was not for myself, but the need to make her happy. Or at least make my best effort.

 

[MissIntrigue]

Originally posted by MT_Pitcher
I guess I'm not very clear today.
Those cracks are for someone to get in. Something inside me has kept closing em up before. I don't really want it too, but it happens and I pull back. Guess I need those cracks kicked open a little like someone has begun to do.
I need my space too. Right now... too much of it!
I also have to learn to share it a lot more. Not all of it, but more.
Right now I like Lit, more than almost any person.
Fresh and new and fun .......... GREAT!!!
And better when two people are thinking of it....

I was mistaken then upon your meaning, I apologise. We are arguing upon an agreed in the first place thing.

I like Lit for the same reasons, believe me. My space, my expression is here, I am free here.

 

[MT_Pitcher]

I was mistaken then upon your meaning, I apologise. We are arguing upon an agreed in the first place thing.

I like Lit for the same reasons, believe me. My space, my expression is here, I am free here.

Ah... we agree...

 

[MissIntrigue]

Originally posted by MT_Pitcher
As usual, so much better than my explanation.
The need I was trying (badly) to express was not for myself, but the need to make her happy. Or at least make my best effort.

He did wonderful didn't he? <sigh> Don'tcha hate folks that have the gift of word...

 

[MT_Pitcher]

He did wonderful didn't he? <sigh> Don'tcha hate folks that have the gift of word...

Yeah, he's a pain, but we like him...

Had to get that in, Yank

Sometimes I think he just uses me to bait the hook and then reels em in..

 

[jazey_43]

Amen...this is what I want out of love.

I don't think you're alone M.I.........sounds like what I'm looking for too!

 

[JennyOmanHill]

"In" love

Personally, by the time I realized I was "in" love, I was already IN it!

I don't think people see it coming.

 

[MissIntrigue]

Re: "In" love

Originally posted by JennyOmanHill
Personally, by the time I realized I was "in" love, I was already IN it!

I don't think people see it coming.

Oh man- now how will I know I am talking to the right guy?

 

[MissIntrigue]

Originally posted by jazey_43




I don't think you're alone M.I.........sounds like what I'm looking for too!

Well, here's to it finding us then....

I know I am not alone jazey...and neither are you.

 

[midwestyankee]

Yeah, he's a pain, but we like him...

Had to get that in, Yank

Sometimes I think he just uses me to bait the hook and then reels em in..

Thanks, MT.

However, I'm not interested in anyone reeling "em in." I have my beloved, who is going to last me at least two forevers. She told me so.

 

[MissIntrigue]

Originally posted by midwestyankee
Thanks, MT.

However, I'm not interested in anyone reeling "em in." I have my beloved, who is going to last me at least two forevers. She told me so.

I have a title for people like you.

 

[midwestyankee]

I have a title for people like you.

Alright, I'm game. And what would that title be?

 

[MissIntrigue]

Originally posted by midwestyankee
Alright, I'm game. And what would that title be?

LFB

and it's meant in the most playful, endearing, affectionate way...

Lucky freakin booger

 

[GiveawayGirl]

Thanks, MT.

However, I'm not interested in anyone reeling "em in." I have my beloved, who is going to last me at least two forevers. She told me so.

Yank, it occurs to me that while we all spend our time trying to define love in your thread, you seem to be the only one actually enjoying love. Why is that?

(and I would have substituted bastard for the booger but I have to say MissIntrigue is right)

 

[GiveawayGirl]

He did wonderful didn't he? <sigh> Don'tcha hate folks that have the gift of word...

You say that now...just wait until the awful puns start