Decline in cognitive function

[peteh57]

I’m conducting a straw poll. I have an idea for a story about a devoted young male nurse and an old woman who is suffering a certain ‘unsoundness of mind’. Can I please have your opinions? Is this too taboo? Stories about mature love are my preference and usually I don’t have any moral qualms. This ones making me think though... Is dementia a bridge to far?

 

[tedsbeds]

As a male nurse, this could amount to taking advantage of a person with a disabling condition. Mature love is one thing, but this would be wrong on so many levels. IMHO.

 

[Euphony]

Varying takes on the theme have been done from warm & fuzzy to downright non-con. Idea has enough of a spectrum to write it to your comfort level.

If "mature love" is code for romance, be sure to steer wide of any trickery or power abuse. A common theme is the affected projecting a past lover/love affair on to the new partner so, in a way, it's not wide eyed consent but, for here, it's pretty soft.

But always write to your comfort level b/c it will show in the work if you don't, even if it's the mildest taboo on the spectrum but you are not personally comfortable with it.

Write for you.

 

[KeithD]

As a male nurse, this could amount to taking advantage of a person with a disabling condition. Mature love is one thing, but this would be wrong on so many levels. IMHO.

Agree with this.

 

[Euphony]

As a male nurse, this could amount to taking advantage of a person with a disabling condition. Mature love is one thing, but this would be wrong on so many levels. IMHO.

In a real world context, absolutely. For here, *if* written in a respectful manner, it's rather softer end of the scale.

Your lens is obviously far more focused as it is your daily life (so doubtful a read you could enjoy) but feels like a wider readership would be able to see it in more soft focus. (romantically v. power dynamic abuse)

 

[peteh57]

Thanks all. I think I’ll rethink.

 

[peteh57]

The dear old lady will be eccentric, not demented.
Difference is people with a mental illness suffer from their behavior, while eccentrics are quite happy. They’re aware of their unusual behaviour they just don’t care. It’s perfect.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

Agree with this.

As a male nurse, this could amount to taking advantage of a person with a disabling condition. Mature love is one thing, but this would be wrong on so many levels. IMHO.

I agree, as well. IMHO it sounds like it crosses a line, if she's dealing with any kind of mental decline. But of course it's your story, and your choice to write whatever you choose to write.

 

[Seadog777]

Considering this is a site that is mostly fantasy and fiction, then you can write whatever the hell you want.

If someone doesn't like it, then that's their god damn problem.

 

[peteh57]

Yeah. I’m inclined to agree. Especially when it’s dot dementia. Eccentricity is what makes people interesting. It’s hardly a mental disease. Consider Oscar Wilde, Frank Zappa, Salvador Dalí.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

I can envision a couple of scenarios where it would be more acceptable, such as her mind keeps seeing the young male nurse as her husband as his younger self and she yearns for the passion from him as she remembers it, believing it to be current times. Her husband recognizes her desire and encourages the nurse to give his wife what she wants, knowing that she no longer recognizes him as he is today.

 

[nice90sguy]

I'm kind of pissed off that any writers here would discourage writing it. I've written a story with a similar topic, with the additional taboo of the young carer being the woman's son. The story was posted on a story site, and the most negative comment I got was that it didn't end happily.

What the fuck is the point of writing safe stuff?

 

[lovecraft68]

I get that what you're aiming for is a love story, and with kind a sad tragic angle because the person this man is falling in love with at some point is going to mentally cease to exist as he knows her

But I feel this is going to come across as walking a fine line with consent. If she's slipping mentally, can she really give full consent? Is this taking advantage as someone else pointed out? I don't feel that's you intent, but a lot of people may read into that way.

If this were a non sexual story and the love simply love without physical consummation this may really play and tug the heart strings "what can never fully be" but if there's sex involved...it just doesn't sit right to me

That's my opinion though, which you asked for., but in the end you're free to give it a go.

 

[alohadave]

I'm kind of pissed off that any writers here would discourage writing it.

You are entitled to your opinion, just like the other people who gave their opinions.

What the fuck is the point of writing safe stuff?

Not everyone wants to be an edgelord.

 

[peteh57]

It’s contentious. What lines to draw. What’s right and wrong.
After reading the comments I’ll be writing my story. My heroine will be sweet and sexy and a bit batty. She’s not depressed or unhappy, but she is eccentric and a bit unbalanced. If that doesn’t float the punters boat.. well read something else.

 

[MelissaBaby]

It’s contentious. What lines to draw. What’s right and wrong.
After reading the comments I’ll be writing my story. My heroine will be sweet and sexy and a bit batty. She’s not depressed or unhappy, but she is eccentric and a bit unbalanced. If that doesn’t float the punters boat.. well read something else.

I feel like you pulled a bit of a bait and switch here. In the title and the original post you strongly implied much more than eccentricity. "Cognitive decline" "dementia", concepts that would make one think that there might be a consent problem.

But now, it sounds more like you want to write an x rated version of Harold and Maude.I would say that it would be wise to include some scenes, non-sexual, in which the woman is clearly shown to be capable of making decisions for herself.

 

[MelissaBaby]

I'm kind of pissed off that any writers here would discourage writing it. I've written a story with a similar topic, with the additional taboo of the young carer being the woman's son. The story was posted on a story site, and the most negative comment I got was that it didn't end happily.

What the fuck is the point of writing safe stuff?

So, just to be sure I am following here, you are upset that anyone would discourage an author from writing what they want to write, while also disparaging those who write what you consider "safe stuff"?

 

[Sammael Bard]

I’m conducting a straw poll. I have an idea for a story about a devoted young male nurse and an old woman who is suffering a certain ‘unsoundness of mind’. Can I please have your opinions? Is this too taboo? Stories about mature love are my preference and usually I don’t have any moral qualms. This ones making me think though... Is dementia a bridge to far?

Depends on specifics.

What matters is how your MC approaches the patient. Is he taking advantage of this illness to cop a feel or two? Is he taking sexual favours in exchange for doing his duty? Is the old lady unwilling but helpless to do anything about it? If that’s the case, then that story would belong to Non-consent/Reluctance.

Or is it a situation where the old lady falls for her caregiver because he’s taking care for her? Patients can often mistake a caregiver’s empathy for romantic interest. If the feeling of ‘romance’ is mutual, and there’s no element of manipulation, it goes to the ‘Mature’ category, regardless of mental illness.

As a doc these stories are just as engaging to me as any other healthcare-worker-centric sexcapades (i.e. none), but most readers probably won’t care about believability as long as it’s good enough to squeeze a wank.

Just make sure you put it in the appropriate category.

 

[nice90sguy]

So, just to be sure I am following here, you are upset that anyone would discourage an author from writing what they want to write, while also disparaging those who write what you consider "safe stuff"?

That's not what I wrote. I asked rhetorically why the hell anyone would be motivated to write them. Seems like there's plenty of that around.

But yes, discouraging writers from tackling uncomfortable subjects is anathema to me.

 

[KeithD]

Considering this is a site that is mostly fantasy and fiction, then you can write whatever the hell you want.

If someone doesn't like it, then that's their god damn problem.

You can write it; Laurel determines whether it gets posted to Literotica, though.

 

[MelissaBaby]

That's not what I wrote. I asked rhetorically why the hell anyone would be motivated to write them. Seems like there's plenty of that around.

But yes, discouraging writers from tackling uncomfortable subjects is anathema to me.

"What the fuck is the point of writing safe stuff?"

How is that not a comment intending to discourage people from writing a particular kind of story?

 

[drobert44]

Depends on specifics.

What matters is how your MC approaches the patient. Is he taking advantage of this illness to cop a feel or two? Is he taking sexual favours in exchange for doing his duty? Is the old lady unwilling but helpless to do anything about it? If that’s the case, then that story would belong to Non-consent/Reluctance.

Or is it a situation where the old lady falls for her caregiver because he’s taking care for her? Patients can often mistake a caregiver’s empathy for romantic interest. If the feeling of ‘romance’ is mutual, and there’s no element of manipulation, it goes to the ‘Mature’ category, regardless of mental illness.

As a doc these stories are just as engaging to me as any other healthcare-worker-centric sexcapades (i.e. none), but most readers probably won’t care about believability as long as it’s good enough to squeeze a wank.

Just make sure you put it in the appropriate category.

I dont like non-consent, but some may. My wife had encephalomyalacia, is scheduled for neuropsych testing..........confirmed by MRI in October.

 

[drobert44]

"What the fuck is the point of writing safe stuff?"

How is that not a comment intending to discourage people from writing a particular kind of story?

Safe stuff? Hell, this is Lit. If U dont like it, dont read it.

 

[SimonDoom]

It never ceases to amaze me how judgmental people get about other people's stories. Of course you should write it, if you want to. This is fantasy land, not the real world. Even experienced authors cannot seem to understand the difference between the real world and Literotica world. The moral choices are not the same.

The only question is whether it will get by Laurel. Based on the way you've described it, I think it will, because it sounds as though both parties enjoy the relationship. If you publish it in the Mature category, as seems sensible to me, it's possible that some readers may be turned off by the nonconsent element, but so what? It strikes me as a better fit, in terms of finding your audience, in Mature than in Nonconsent.

 

[Lifestyle66]

You're planning to write a story with a doctor/patient (nurse/patient) relationship, which is at least unethical. As others point out, if the patient has a diagnosed declining mental condition like Alzheimers, it may be illegal. The story will probably be slammed by the critics for such non-con relationship.

But write what you like and post it to see how it works out.

I have a story in pending to publish tomorrow in which I give the reader five different ending to choose the one they prefer. I described one of those five epilogue endings as "a sick ending for those of you with a disturbed mind." I'm posting this to Loving Wives, and I expect some of those trolls to comment saying they like that ending.