Dear X

[lakesailer_mi]

Dear Little One,

I love how you call out “Hey Peaches” to the neighbor’s dog. Your tiny voice and that slight lisp is really cute. It tickles my heart every time I hear you yell it. However, when your window is down, we are parked, and two ladies walk by, that’s not the time to scream out “Hey Peaches!” Especially since they way you say it, it sounds more like “Hey Bitches!” Lucky for daddy, they laughed once I explained it to them.

Signed,

You’re supposed to attract women for me, not make them slap me.

Dear Using your daughter as chick bait,

Seems to me she's got it figured out, they ladies came over, and you made them laugh and then I'm sure they thought she was a cutie. Plus, her daddy's so nice and protective of her...

Signed,
She's a girl...she's smarter than you...roll with it!

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Using your daughter as chick bait,

Seems to me she's got it figured out, they ladies came over, and you made them laugh and then I'm sure they thought she was a cutie. Plus, her daddy's so nice and protective of her...

Signed,
She's a girl...she's smarter than you...roll with it!

Dear Caitlyn Jenner,

My daughter has a penis. He does have a high pitched voice though.

Signed,

Running into his room to make sure it’s still there.

 

[Suz_anne]

Dear X,

I'm glad we talk again. After all this time, I honestly thought I no longer missed you. Turns out that's not true. I like that we can still talk for hours and not run out of things to say.

But I'm still glad you're way over there on the left coast. Please stay there.

Always fondly,
Can't Do It All Over Again

 

[TongueLust]

Dear ...

That's not cute.

 

[Zalev]

Dear Mrs. Peterson,

I understand now that I was an awful little shit in 1st grade and always fucked around with Becky. We were bf/gf in Kindergarten after she touched my hand for like a week and had a dispute over 4-square. I spent too much time trying to swoon her by trying to convince her I was greater than a power ranger in the next year.

Years later, I realize my fail.

My apologies.

Probably your fav student ever,
- David.

PS. If you're on this site..OHHHHH GET IT GIRL

 

[Tallulah82]

Dear Heart,

Will you PLEASE shut the fuck up. You are so full of shit, it's not even funny any more. Head told you not to get involved. Head knows better. You need to get back into your cage, and lock the fucking door. Head is now in charge of the key. Oh, and I'm installing sound-proofing too so no-one including me can hear your sadistic whisperings.

Sincerely,

Cold Mistress.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Higher Being,


I’m glad you think it’s funny. I’m sure you point and laugh every time it happens. We’re you high when you decided that a toddlers penis must be erect when he has to pee? There’s no point in putting Cheerios in the toilet for him to aim at during potty training. I should tape them to the ceiling and walls instead.

I need to teach him how to do a handstand in order for him to hit the toilet. How do I reward him for not peeing in his pants, when i would rather him piss his pants? It would be better than him decorating the walls of my bathroom?

Signed,

Mr. Clean

 

[tnman03]

Dear Higher Being,


I’m glad you think it’s funny. I’m sure you point and laugh every time it happens. We’re you high when you decided that a toddlers penis must be erect when he has to pee? There’s no point in putting Cheerios in the toilet for him to aim at during potty training. I should tape them to the ceiling and walls instead.

I need to teach him how to do a handstand in order for him to hit the toilet. How do I reward him for not peeing in his pants, when i would rather him piss his pants? It would be better than him decorating the walls of my bathroom?

Signed,

Mr. Clean

*put him in the shower where he doesn't make a mess...rinse when necessary...trust me on this...it actually works....and it's a whole lot easier to clean up...*nods head...

 

[IhateClowns]

*put him in the shower where he doesn't make a mess...rinse when necessary...trust me on this...it actually works....and it's a whole lot easier to clean up...*nods head...

Considering just letting him go outside. At least my yard will be watered. Granted it will constantly look like fall, but could save on my water bill.

 

[MissAshleyToYou]

dear me a year ago,

when i think back to who you were... be thankful.

even when it gets lonely.

 

[TongueLust]

Dear Mom,

I know you must laugh at how people try to play my brother and I.

He and I laugh about it all of the time, you taught us well.

I miss your spunkiness, mi rubia linda.

 

[Ktigress]

Dear future me,

I hope that when you look back on 2017 you'll be able to say "it was worth it, I'm better now".

 

[Little_Sister]

Dear X
Please buy it. I need you to buy it.
Thanks,
Me

 

[DarkSimian]

Dear X
Please buy it. I need you to buy it.
Thanks,
Me

Dear Me,

Will you accept a check, or do you take credit cards?

Fiscally responsible

 

[snexxer]

Dear X
Please buy it. I need you to buy it.
Thanks,
Me

Dear Me,

Will you accept a check, or do you take credit cards?

Fiscally responsible

Dear Me and Fiscally responsible.

Is this like field of dreams but.
If he buys it you will come?

Thinks he's funny.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Dear Me,

Will you accept a check, or do you take credit cards?

Fiscally responsible

Dear Responsible,

Make sure they can be any check you have or find, not just with your name printed on it.

Signed,
Loves to see you in cuffs.

 

[DarkSimian]

Dear Responsible,

Make sure they can be any check you have or find, not just with your name printed on it.

Signed,
Loves to see you in cuffs.

Dear Cuff Lover,

I'm sure you would.

Signed,
"Embezzlement" is such a dirty word

 

[barefootgirl69]

Dear Cuff Lover,

I'm sure you would.

Signed,
"Embezzlement" is such a dirty word

Dear Dirty wordie,

I love it when you talk like that.

Signed,
Little pervie

 

[DarkSimian]

Dear Dirty wordie,

I love it when you talk like that.

Signed,
Little pervie

Dear Pervie Little,

You had me at "boobies"


Signed,
Jerry "DS" Maguire

 

[Scentofawoman]

Dear lost listers:

Looking back on old threads. Good times in a different lifetime. Some of you guys helped me more then you know.

Scent

 

[TongueLust]

Dear Ex,

You are going to pay.

L

 

[Scentofawoman]

Dear Ex,

You are going to pay.

L

How?

 

[TongueLust]

How?

Not that kind. lol

Good to see you.

 

[Scentofawoman]

Not that kind. lol

Good to see you.

Thanks!

Just prowling around trying to sleep. How you doing?

 

[TongueLust]

Thanks!

Just prowling around trying to sleep. How you doing?

I'm OK...heading to bed. Hopefully you get some rest.